


You change me (for the better)

by eventidethoughts



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2Jae, Action & Romance, Angst, M/M, Markjin, jackbeom - Freeform, mafia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:47:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 122,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22756513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eventidethoughts/pseuds/eventidethoughts
Summary: Markjin au inspired by markjintweets' prompt:Mark is a regular CEO at morning and a cold hearted mafia leader at night, but that wasn't his biggest secret. No. It's his beautiful and delicate lover; A certain university student named Park Jinyoung.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB, Im Jaebum | JB/Jackson Wang, Park Jinyoung/Mark Tuan
Comments: 70
Kudos: 258





	1. Chapter 1

The cold air breezing through the open window did not help with the tension currently suffocating them inside the dimly-lit room.

The silence was deafening, the suspense hanging off the shoulders of the 3 occupants. Jackson sighed for the nth time that night and stared at the man currently tied up in front of him, his head hanging limply and muttering incomprehensible words after being tortured for 30 minutes. The man they were currently interrogating had been caught sneaking around their compound, visibly trying hard to be inconspicuous but miserably failing. It was Bambam who found him, crouching down into a small corridor obviously attempting to open their storage room. After a series of punches and some not- so-friendly-interrogation methods, the man still refused to talk about his purpose of being there.

"Look man, if you would just tell us what you were doing here and who sent you, we might be able to spare your life."

Yugyeom, a ridiculously tall (in Jackson's opinion) person for his age spoke. He was crouching down infront of the man, trying to make him understand the severity of his situation. The said man however spat directly in Yugyeom's face, and if their ordeal wasn't that bad, Jackson would have already laughed out loud in amusement and asked the man to do it again.

The door opened and another too-tall-person-for-his-age appeared, looking distressed and disturbed. He sat besides where Jackson is currently situated at and sighed.

"I called in boss. Says he'll be here in 10 minutes."

Yugyeom stood up and wiped his face clean with his shirt, rubbing his temples to avoid an incoming migrane.

"Well, we're fucked."

Jackson looked at his watch and counted down the minutes.

"Bams, what did he sound like on the phone?"

Bambam, who's head was resting on the table suddenly looked up, meeting Jackson dead in the eyes.

"Like he wouldn't even bat an eyelash if we're dead as well."

  
With that, Jackson slumped in his chair together with Bambam. He was too tired to even begin to explain what would happen if the man won't talk for the next 10 minutes.  
  
\------------------------------------------------  
  
It was almost midnight when Mark received the call.

He was just getting ready to end the night after successfully closing a deal with one of the largest mobile company in Korea, the SKZ Telcom. It was fairly easy this time, as the CEO was immediately drawn into him at first sight, like a moth to a flame. Mark isn't much for arrogance, but this is one of those times where he would credit his good looks for doing a fantastic job. With a little bit of flirting, charming conversations, and some not-so-subtle thigh touching, Mark was able to secure his spot on top of the business food chain once again.  
  
His company, Yang Enterprises, is one of the biggest and most versatile company in the world. They don't focus on one venture alone, rather, they explore every possible option available --- fashion industry, entertainment industry, food industry and now, mobile industry --- you see it, they have it. His business strategy and work ethic has always been admired by many. At the age of 27, he brought something new to the industry, revolutionizing the way the business world worked. Yang Enterprises was already known throughout the country, but as soon as Mark stepped in to leadership, he made the company his own personal playground, and made it rise at the very top.

He may have inherited the company together with his fortune, but the respect of his co-workers and business colleagues was gained through hard work.  
  
The young CEO was about to disregard the call and turn off his phone for the entire night, until he saw the caller's id. His mood instantly turned sour, knowing full well that the only time he would ever receive the call is when something unexpected happened in his compound.

So, without thinking twice, Mark picked up his phone and answered the call.  
  
"Snake eyes."  
  
He knew better than to call his men by their real names, and to let them call him by his. Fake identities are a must, especially when it serves as extra protection from threats that could come in any direction. Every caution is necessary, because he isn't just an ordinary man.

  
  
In the morning, he is Mark Tuan, the ever so charming CEO of Yang Enterprises.  
  
  
But at night, he is Tuan Yi En, the ruthless, cold-blooded, Tiger Lily Mafia leader.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ❗️Blood and torture will be described on this chapter. ❗️

It's safe to say Mark was pissed.

After receiving the news that someone had broke in to their compound, his overall demeanor had completely changed. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to rest that night without finding out what happened, so the mafia leader grabbed the first clothing that he could find and hastily went to his garage to get his car. It was a thing of beauty and his most prized possession-- a red BMW Zagato Coupé. If he wanted to go somewhere fast, this would be his top choice.

With that, the irritated man climbed up to his car and went out of his home, and with his precious baby revving up the dark streets without traffic, he arrived in his destination in a matter of minutes.

The mafia leader had announced beforehand that he was coming, and for everyone in the vicinity that would mean they had to be in their best behavior. Mark's presence demanded respect, and it was respect he so rightfully deserved. His men became witnesses on how he is as a leader, a companion, and a formidable opponent, even at a young age of 23, when it was declared that he would take over his father's place as their leader. Just like his company, Mark made the Tiger Lily Mafia Organization rise to the very top, influencing almost 90% of Seoul's underground operation.

Mark's men greeted him right by the gates, and he tossed his keys to one of them to take care of his car. He stormed off on the direction of the room the captive was in, and no one dared to get in his way.

As he was approaching the room, a frown slowly made its way on his face as he found Yugyeom waiting right outside the door.

"What the hell are you doing here Yugyeom? Shouldn't you be at home, doing your school work?"

The elder asked in annoyance, crossing both of his arms in front of his chest.

Yugyeom pouted at Mark, looking like a child being scolded by his parent. 

"I finished it already. I was bored and I wanted to come here to hangout with Bambam. I didn't expect that something like this would happen."

[ _**Yugyeom’s backstory:** __Kim Yugyeom was the only child of his Father's best friend. They had met on a social occasion before when they were younger, when Mark was 15 and Yugyeom was 6. Being the right hand man of Mark's father, he was sure to have enemies, so it was no suprise that on a rainy night, Yugyeom's family was ambushed on their home and his parents were killed, leaving the young boy the only survivor as his mother hastily hid him on their secret room. The boy was discovered close to dying, and Mark's family had instantly taken him in as their own. Mark treats Yugyeom as his own brother, and he wanted the young boy to have a good education and a good life, away from all the clutches of the underground operations. Yugyeom however wanted to be involved in the mafia business and help Mark run the organization, as he wanted to know what his late father was so loyal about. The two had clashed often about the topic, so Mark proposed a deal. Yugyeom is allowed to visit their headquarters and learn the inner workings of the mafia ONLY if he goes to school, do well, and get a diploma. Yugyeom reluctantly agreed to the deal, but ultimately loved being in school in the end because he had found another passion; dancing. Currently, Yugyeom is in his first year in university, taking up dance major._ ]

Mark knew he couldn't do anything else about that and just sighed.

"Is Bambam and Jackson in here?"

Yugyeom nodded.

"Jackson hyung tried to get information, but the man just won't talk."

Mark perked up at that. His eyes darkened as he stared long and hard at Yugyeom.

"And you were inside when it happened?"

The change in the elder’s tone did not go unnoticed to Yugyeom. The younger shifted uncomfortably, unable to lie in his step brother’s face.

"Y-Yeah..."

That made Mark close his is eyes out of frustration. It had always annoyed him how much Yugyeom wanted to get involved in the mafia, even going as far as watching a gory interrogation. The elder wants to cherish the younger’s innocence as much as he possibly can, because he is such a sweet and warm person.

Call it his protective instincts or whatever, but Mark doesn't want his younger brother to end up like he currently is -- broken, and tainted.

"Fucking idiot. I told him not do anything remotely brutal in front of you."

It was spoken in a whisper, but Yugyeom heard nonetheless. The younger frowned in displeasure, obviously not happy that his hyung is still babying him even up to this day. 

"Hyung, I'm eighteen. You need to let me see these things so that I know what to do in the future. It's part of our deal, remember?"

Yugyeom reasoned. He was aware that his Mark-hyung is only protecting him, but he knows he can handle everything by himself. He's more than ready to play a big role in the organization.

Mark sighed tiredly and proceeded to open the door.

"Let's just talk about this another time. We got more pressing matters to deal with."

As the door opened and the duo presented themselves, Mark was met with a bloodied and beaten man tied to a chair together with two of his most trusted men who was standing on the side, Jackson and Bambam. The two slightly bowed their head in respect, and Mark motioned for them to sit down.

"Bambam already explained what happened on the phone. What I don't understand is how he was able to get inside without detection."

Mark directed his gaze towards Jackson.

"I left this place in your care, didn't I? Care to explain to me how this happened?"

Jackson dropped his head in shame. He was downright embarrased of the situation. He knew that Mark would not accept excuses, so he opted to tell the truth.

"I'm so sorry, boss. It's completely my fault. I slacked off, drank a few, and was completely lazy to guard tonight. I will accept any punishment you give to me without question!"

Mark continued staring at Jackson as he was explaining, guilt and resentment visible on his features. He had always been a genuine lad, who also happens to be one of the few people that knows Mark the best.

[ ** _Jackson’s backstory:_** _How Mark met Jackson was purely coincidental. Jackson was a struggling rapper, always breaking the law and running away from the police. He was a Hongkong native, and at the age of seventeen he left his home to fly off to Korea in order to achieve his dream in the music scene. However, that didn't end well, and Jackson was too broke to go back home, so he resorted to doing illegal crimes just to survive. He found money off in underground rap battles, stolen from stores, pickpocketed, and occasionally, acted as a courier for drugs to obtain some cash. He got caught sneaking inside one of Tiger Lily's headquarters one night, hoping for a place to crash temporarily because he was evading the police. Unfortunately, he was caught by the organization. He was beaten up and about to be killed when Mark and his father stumbled upon them. The future mafia leader was learning the ropes of the Kingdom he was about to take over when he saw what was happening. They were about to leave until he heard Jackson pleading to spare his life. He saw the fear and desperation to live in the younger's eyes, and that made him convince his father not to kill the beaten boy. Jackson begged for mercy over and over again until he was granted freedom, in exchange for his service. That same day, Jackson swore loyalty to Mark and found a better life inside the organization, ultimately proving himself and becoming one of the strongest fighter in their organization. Jackson became close with Mark over time and eventually, he was trusted enough to oversee some of the businesses that they own. Mark treated him on an equal level, but to Jackson he was his savior, and the younger was more than willing to protect his leader and friend, even on the expanse of his own life._ ]

Mark didn't feel like doing anything to Jackson at the moment, so he just waved him off.

"I won't punish you for now, but I don't want a repeat of this, you got it?"

Jackson nodded fervently.

"Thank you boss! It won't happen again!"

After that was settled, Mark turned his attention to Bambam.

"Good job in capturing him, but didn't I tell you not bring Yugyeom in any interrogation? I asked you to guard him, and I find out that he witnessed Jackson beating this guy in a bloody pulp? I'm disappointed in you, Bam."

The said man bowed in a 90 degree angle, apologizing over and over again. Yugyeom was protesting that it was his own choice to go in, and that he begged Bambam to take him inside.

[ _**Bambam’s backstory:** __Bambam -- full name Kunpimook Bhuwakhul Bambam-- was a Thai victim of human trafficking. He was illegally shipped from Thailand to Korea at the age of twelve to be sold as a sex slave after he was lured in for a faux job to support his poor family. Mark was 24 when he first saw Bambam- who was then 15-, as he was tasked to serve Mark some drinks while on a meeting with another mafia leader. The thai boy was underweight, bruises adorning his delicate features, and his eyes were dull and lifeless. He accidentally spilled juice on Mark's suit that time, and the elder witnessed how the defenseless boy was beaten up in front of his eyes. The mafia leader didn’t know why he was drawn to the boy, but he knew that he had to get him out of there. So, without hesitation, Mark immediately negotiated to take the prisoner with him. The mafia leader who was owning him agreed for a high price, and ever since then Bambam had been under Mark’s care. It was tough for the thai to adjust at first, since he was used and abused daily before he was taken away. Over time however, his mischievous and bubbly personality came through when he deemed that he was safe in Mark's territory. Mark had grown fond of the boy, so much so that he offered to provide education. Bambam refused, saying that he was better off doing high-risk jobs for the mafia and serving Mark by being at his side. With that, the mafia leader made Bambam his personal bodyguard, as he was the most agile and efficient fighter they have. ]_

The mafia leader didn't want to hear any of it however, and made them all stop talking with his cold stare.

"I'll deal with all of you later. Let's just get this thing out of the way and be on our merry way, okay? Jackson, get both of them out of here and bring me my pliers and knife."

Jackson immediately followed Mark's orders and made the maknaes leave the room. What he was about to do to the captived man was not something he wants Bambam nor Yugyeom to witness.

He would never admit it out loud, but he always had a soft spot for those two rowdy youngsters.

Jackson returned with the things Mark requested, and locked the door after herding the maknaes out. Mark slowly ran his fingers through his hair, grabbing the nearest chair inorder to sit infront of the now lethargic man.

"Now, I was in a superb mood before I even knew what was going on here. I made a spectacular deal with a big company and was hoping to end the night on a nice note. You, however, managed to ruin the good thing that I was looking forward to and I am not a bit pleased with that. So, this is what we're going to do. In every question that you refuse to answer, I am going to slowly, and very painfully rip off your nails one by one. Not the most pleasant experience in my opinion, so I suggest you tell me right now. What were you doing lurking around in my vicinity?"

Mark very calmly waited for the man to answer his question. When there was no reponse, he ordered Jackson to untie one of the man's hands in order to place it infront of the table. In a split second, he raised the knife and plunged it right down the middle of the man's palm. A painful cry erupted from him, as he tried to ease the unbearable pain away. Blood slowly trickled on the table, where it continously dropped to the floor. As he was wriggling in pain, The mafia leader grabbed his jaw and proceeded to slap his cheek to capture his attention.

"I'm asking you again. What were you doing in our compound?"

The man resisted once again, whimpering in pain as his tears started to fall. Mark let his face go and then took the pliers on the table, positioning it infront of the man's middle finger. Without hesitation, he gripped the nail and slowly pulled, bringing with him the remnants of what was once there. Blood and skin rushed out of the man’s finger, and he was met with another ear-piercing scream that made even Jackson look away. Mark was undeterred however, only raising his eyebrows to the man, clearly demanding for him to answer his question.

When he was met with another silence, he took it a step further and proceeded to place to plier to the man’s pinky and ring finger, slowly crushing it under his power. Bones cracked underneath and the man flung wildly in order to get away, but that only worsened the situation as the knife plunged deeper on to his hand due to his movements. Blood, tears, and saliva were mixed already together, intensifying the man's agonizing pain. It went on for a while, with Mark pulling out nails and crushing his fingers one by one until everything was removed. Despite all that however, the man still didn’t talk. Mark was both impressed and bored by that, admiring the man's willpower but hating the fact that it was taking too long to break him. The mafia leader decided to stop, placing the bloody pliers down in order to stare at the man.

"If you don't want to talk, that's fine, but know that you're not leaving out of here alive. People who dare cross with Tiger Lily always ends up six feet under."

The man's whimpering subsided for a moment, but it was gradually replaced with a disturbing laughter. Mark and Jackson looked at each other for a moment, obviously astounded by the turn of events. The man slowly raised his head and stared at Mark dead in the eye, spitting his blood on the young leader’s shoes.

"Oh, you don't know what's coming, boy." He uttered, grinning maniacally.

This time, it was Jackson who spoke.

"What are you talking about?"

The man just laughed even harder.

"Redemption. Redemption is coming!” He replied, laughing non-stop while looking at Mark full of disgust and amusement.

Mark finally deemed that he’s had enough. Wordlessly, he grabbed Jackson's hand gun from his side pocket, pointed it at the man's forehead and shot him without thinking twice. Blood splattered everywhere, some of it hitting his face and clothes. Silence engulfed the room, as Mark cleaned his face off of blood and stood up inorder to fix himself.

"I'm going home. You know how to dispose the body. Make Yugyeom go home as well."

The mafia leader didn't wait for Jackson's answer and immediately left the room. He took off his blood-stained jacket and made his way to his car. Once he was inside and was about to start the engine, he noticed his trembling hands, filled with the man's blood.

He had killed once again.

He had taken a lot of lives before this one, and he was supposed to get over it as soon as the deed is done.

Yet, why is it that every time he kills someone without hesitation, he feels like he's slowly being killed off as well?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a bit short, but don’t worry, the updates will get longer in the future.
> 
> Jinyoung’s POV will be up next chapter ^^
> 
> My twitter @ is gotexofic in case anyone wants to say hi :)


	3. Chapter 3

Park Jinyoung has been staring in his laptop for the past twenty minutes.  
  
He's stuck.  
  
He doesn't know what to write next.  
  
Now, that is a bad thing for him, because he ALWAYS knows what to write next. He had been writing all of his life- from poems to short stories, to even song lyrics- that's why he took up literature as a major, in order to write constantly and pursue something that he truly loves. He was due to pass a short novel this time, and he really was excited to write at first, but for some reason, his brain won't cooperate with him right now.  
  
 _'Stupid writers block.'_ He thought to himself, reaching for his coffee to take the edge off.

He was about to drink from the cup when someone suddenly snatched it away from him.  
  
Jinyoung frowned and looked up at the coffee thief. Sure enough, it was his bestfriend and the owner of Offshore coffee shop, Im Jaebeom.

“Yah. Give it back.”

Jaebeom scowled disapprovingly.

"This is your 4th cup today. I don't want to be responsible for any death in my shop."  
  
"I need to finish this story." Jinyoung replied, blinking the dryness out of his eyes after being exposed in front of a laptop for so long.

Jaebeom gave him a hard look and shook his head.   
  
"No, what you need is sleep. You look like shit."  
  
True enough, Jinyoung did look like shit. His eyes were bloodshot, horrible looking bags were under his eyes that was piling up one after the other, and his hair was messy due to his constant scalp scratching in a desperate attempt to gather inspiration. He stayed up all night in his dorm to finish the story, went straight to the coffee shop the next day and stayed until it was closing time. He was hoping to finish it now, but he just can't find the perfect words to continue.  
  
"This is due next month. If I want that scholarship, I need to do amazing on this one." Jinyoung sighed. He banged his head on the coffee table and stayed in that position for a while.

He was desperate to get that scholarship, as he wasn't able to obtain it when he was a freshman. He was given another opportunity on his second year when his professors noticed his impeccable work, the only requirement is for him to pass a short novel with the professor’s proposed theme and submit it to their annual literature writing competition in order to seal the deal.

That scholarship would mean his parents won't spend that much on him anymore, they wouldn't need to ask their relatives to lend them some money for his tuition. They were always supportive of him and his dreams, and this is the only way he could think of currently that can ease the burden off their shoulders.  
  
Jinyoung heard the chair move and felt Jaebeom sit beside him. He then started patting the younger’s head in a sad attempt of comfort.  
  
"I know you need that scholarship nyoung, but you can't force ideas especially if you're tired. I suggest you step away for a while and take a breather. You can come back to it once you've fully cleared your head."  
  
Jinyoung chuckled and looked fondly at Jaebeom, who was still petting his head like he's some kicked puppy.  
  
"Since when have you become an expert on giving advices?"  
  
Jaebeom frowned and flicked the younger’s forehead, eliciting a small whine out of him. The owner then stood up to continue his cleaning.  
  
"I'm not an expert. It's just common sense to rest when you're tired."  
  
Jinyoung smiled at that. He stretched his limbs satisfactorily and proceeded to gather his things. He offered to help close the shop, but he was shooed away by Jaebeom, all the while nagging in his ear to sleep and eat properly once he goes home.

It's always funny to him how people would find his bestfriend intimidating. Sure he looked like a typical bad boy, with his multiple piercings and alpha-like aura, but once you get pass that and see the real Im Jaebeom, you would find a big goofball, waiting to be squished to smithereens with his dorkiness.  
  
Jinyoung got in his dorm in no time, as the coffee shop was only 5 minutes away from where he was staying. As soon as he stepped in, he took a quick shower and ate some leftover kimbap, courtesy of his God-sent roommate, music major Choi Youngjae. In contrast to what Jaebeom wanted, he tried to work on his story again, but when you're in your own fluffy bed, you would know better that no work will ever be finished in the comfort of your mattress.

So in a matter of minutes, Jinyoung felt his eyelids getting heavy and was finally asleep, dreaming of flying letters and coffee oceans.

  
\-------------------  
  
  
It was the sound of his 8am alarm the next day that woke Jinyoung up from his well-needed rest. Luckily, it was weekends and he didn't have any important agenda in his schedule aside from his part-time job, so he could laze around for a little bit. He felt something sharp poking his stomach and realized he fell asleep while trying to finish his story. Remembering how little his progress was yesterday, Jinyoung sighed glumly.  
  
The door to their restroom opened and an adorable-looking man walked out, fully dressed and smiling widely.  
  
"Mornin' sleepyhead."  
  
Jinyoung returned the smile and slowly got up from his bed, already missing the comfort that it provides.  
  
"Good morning, Youngjae."  
  
Choi Youngjae was an absolute ball of sunshine. Jinyoung first met him when he was looking for his dorm number, and it was Youngjae who led him to their room. Jinyoung was more than grateful to have been his roommate, the man was fun to be around and made their dorm life way better. He was always happy and smiling, infecting Jinyoung with his positivity as well.

Youngjae is a great roommate, but the best thing about him is that he always leaves Jinyoung food on their mini fridge.

It's safe to say that man is an angel in disguise.  
  
"Still no progress with the story?"

Youngjae asked, preparing his bag and necessities to leave for his 8:30 am class.  
  
"Nope. I'm going to be crazy if I don't finish it soon."  
  
Jinyoung fixed his bed and tucked his laptop away on his bedside table. As much as he wanted to say yes, he was still going nowhere with his work.  
  
Youngjae looked back at him with pity in his eyes. He tapped Jinyoung's back then gave him a pretty smile.

"Aw, hyung. I'm sure you'll get there soon. You just have to be patient with it. Maybe take a break for a while and come back to it later?"  
  
Jinyoung pouted at that familiar statement.  
  
"You sound like Jaebeom."  
  
Youngjae quickly retracted his hand as if it was on fire. Jinyoung swore he saw a flush of pink light up Youngjae's features.

His 'people-who-is-interested-in-my-bestfriend-radar' is blaring, but he would have to deal with that another time.  
  
"O-oh. Well, you know we're right."  
  
Jinyoung nodded.  
  
"I know."  
  
An awkward silence passed by between them.

“W-well... I guess I should go... before I get late.”

Youngjae stammered as he made his way towards the door, stumbling a little bit and almost wearing mismatched shoes. Jinyoung chuckled at his clumsiness (more like apparent nervousness) and bid goodbye to him.

He was aware that whenever Jaebeom's name is mentioned, Youngjae would be all flustered and cute.  
  
The literature major was about to head to the restroom to freshen up when he heard the door open again.  
  
"Oh hyung, I forgot to tell you, I left you something to eat on the fridge. It's sushi rolls and soup. Figured you were going to be unhealthy with your ramen stock again."  
  
Jinyoung was about to cry.  
  
Oh, how he loved his roommate.  
  
  
\---------------

  
At 11am, the literature major was ready to go to his part-time job as a bookkeeper on one of the small bookshops in Seoul. The pay wasn't the best, but it was enough for him to live off as a student. He wasn't exactly working there for the money if he were to be honest, he just loves to be around books. For him, books are a precious treasure, every single one will take you to a new world without even leaving your home.

Books are an adventure; and him, a passionate adventurer.  
  
He clocked in at 10:57 am and greeted his co-worker, an adorable 17 year old named Ong Seongwoo. He was fond of Seongwoo, because the kid loves books just as much as he does. They can talk for hours about books and never get bored of it. Their little bookshop was situated at a small corner in Cheongdam-dong. The place was a bit old, but they take pride in the quality of books that they have. They have collectibles, old editions that book lovers would love to have.

It was quiet, serene, and a perfect place for Jinyoung to be at peace in.  
  
The elder was currently sorting books at the non-fiction section when Seongwoo suddenly approached him, carrying an elegant black box.  
  
"Hyung, someone dropped this off on the counter."  
  
Jinyoung dusted off his pants and curiously gazed at the box. He took the item from Seongwoo and gently shook it. It felt heavy and judging from the design of the box, it was expensive as well.  
  
"Did that person say who's it from?"  
  
Seongwoo shrugged.  
  
"I dunno. I really didn't understand what he said. Says it's for ‘kitten’ or something."  
  
Jinyoung almost choked on his own saliva.  
  
"K-kitten?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Jinyoung felt his heart beat accelerate. There was only one person he knew that would do this.  
  
"Hyung? Are you okay? You look a bit red."  
  
Jinyoung shuffled and tried to calm himself down. His face felt hot, and he feels a bit dizzy, but he wasn't about to explain himself to Seongwoo.  
  
"N-no I'm fine! Um, I'll just put this in the back. Maybe someone will claim it. Don't worry about it!"  
  
With that, he immediately dashed to their storage room and locked it. He placed the box infront of him and gained some composure.  
  
 _'Idiot! Stop acting like a fool! Get yourself together!'_ He mentally scolded himself and immediately examined the present.  
  
The box was beautiful, the details surrounding it was so eye-catching. The ribbon has a golden color and wrapped the box with finesse. He slowly unwrapped the ribbon and peeked inside. In it, there was a beautiful, neatly folded black tuxedo that is clearly more expensive than his dorm room. He traced his hands on the fabric and he can tell that it is of the highest quality. It looks so sophisticated that he was almost afraid to take it out, but he eventually did. He was in awe at how soft it felt under his touch, his peasant hands didn’t deserve to even be in its presence. 

As he was admiring the material, his eyes detected something on the box. He directed his attention towards it and saw something else.

Underneath the tux, was a matte black envelope. The literature major gently placed the tux down and went for the envelope. With slightly shaky fingers he slowly opened it, and a familiar perfume suddenly penetrated the air. He took the letter inside, and read the short message that was written in white ink:  
  
 _ **< There's not a single moment that I don't think about you. Get ready at 8:30 tonight. - XCIII >**_  
  
Jinyoung closed his eyes and calmed himself. He inhaled the scent he was currently basked in, feeling his heart beat rise by reading that letter alone.

Jinyoung is happy, too happy that he can finally see HIM again.

He couldn't contain his excitement, reading and re-reading the contents of the letter like an excited toddler. Seongwoo must have noticed that he was gone for too long, because the younger suddenly knocked on the door, scaring the living daylights out of Jinyoung.  
  
"Hyung? You okay in there?"  
  
Jinyoung hastily placed all of the contents inside the box and tried to dissipate the perfum from the air. He cleared his throat and opened the door.  
  
"Yeah... uh sorry, I was caught up with something inside.”  
  
Seongwoo didn't really care to know what is was about, so he just nodded and went back to his post. Jinyoung followed suit, but try as he might, he couldn't stop the smile that was threatening to break out of his face.


	4. Chapter 4

At 8:30 pm, Jinyoung was more than ready.  
  
He took one last look at his reflection in the mirror. The suit was way too overpriced for him to wear as he expected, but nonetheless, it looked amazing on him. He carefully styled his hair for atleast 10 minutes, trying to see what would look best. He admits to trying too hard, but what can he do? He‘s excited.  
  
He can finally see Mark again.  
  
A knock on the door interrupted his inner thoughts. He hurriedly grabbed his dorm keys and phone and opened the door, leaving a note for Youngjae that he was going to be home late. Standing outside, he was greeted by a familiar and lanky figure.  
  
"Good evening, Bambam."  
  
Bambam smiled at Jinyoung and openly checked him out from head to toe.

"You look good, hyung. Good call on the shoes. It goes well with your tie."  
  
Jinyoung laughed at the comment. Bambam likes to call himself a fashionista, always observing and giving critiques on Jinyoung's outfit whenever they meet each other. He liked to show off as well, as he is currently wearing his silver necklace with the words 'Double B' written on it and his multiple rings adorning his fingers. It's beyond him how Bambam is not robbed by thugs yet.  
  
"I hate to say this, but your comments on my fashion sense is rubbing off on me. You really need to get out of my life before you ruin me completely."  
  
Bambam pouted at the comment and lightly smacked Jinyoung in the shoulder.

"But hyuuuuung! Who would look after you when I'm gone? You can't look like a homeless person ever again!"  
  
Jinyoung pinched his arm in return. "Yah! Who said I look like a homeless person, brat! I looked decent before!" He retorted while making sure his door was locked before putting the keys in his pocket.

The younger scoffed mockingly in return.

"Yeah right, decent my ass. You go to school in your boxers!"  
  
Jinyoung glared at Bambam, and that was the cue for the younger boy to start running away.

"YAH! It was ONE TIME! I overslept and was late for an exam!"  
  
Bambam, with his ridiculous long legs, managed to put a good distance between them. He stuck his tongue out and made weird faces to spite the older male.

"Yeah, okay, mister I-wear-spongebob-as-boxers. Good for you!"

With that, Jinyoung ran harder than what is possible in his tuxedos, more than ready to send a certain Thai man to his grave.  
  
\------  
  
After a series of bickering and nasty insults (mostly by Jinyoung), they finally reached where Bambam's car is parked. Jinyoung still don't understand how Bambam was able to drive legally, but it has been this way ever since he first met Mark. It was always Bambam who reaches out to him first to escort him wherever Mark is, which is usually to a fancy restaurant. This time however, Jinyoung has zero clue where they're headed, and Bambam won't say a thing about it. The literature major can’t do anything to make the man talk, so instead he directed his attention to the view outside.

The city lights of Seoul is beautiful, especially so during the evening. The night life has always been something that Jinyoung admires, but was never really interested in exploring. Sure, he's had a couple of drunken moments and embarrassing predicaments, but those times were only shared with few close friends on a safe environment. Other than those sparks of stupidness on his teenage years, he is completely oblivious about what goes on behind the shadows of the night.  
  
The trip took longer than Jinyoung expected, a 30 minute drive away from the busy streets of the city. He noticed that they were heading up on some sort of a mountain which he had never encountered before, piquing his curiosity towards their destination.   
  
"Bambam, where are you taking me?"  
  
Bambam who was currently singing-no, screeching is the right word- to a girl group song looked at Jinyoung using the rearview mirror, while swaying his entire body to the beat of the music.  
  
"You'll see." He smiled knowingly.  
  
Jinyoung’s brows raised up at that, but he could only watch as Bambam takes him further up, swirling to the mountain right at the very top.  
  
The literature major didn’t know how long they’ve been turning, but the ride is slowly starting to make him nauseous. Thankfully, before he could spill out the contents out of his stomach, the car finally stopped. Jinyoung calmed his stomach first before lifting his gaze outside, and there, right in front of him stands a big gate.

The sheer size of the gate is intimidating, but what made it domineering is the sign that is plastered in it, the one that says 'Do not enter'.

"Alright, this is me. You can get out now."  
  
Jinyoung shifted his attention towards Bambam, and looked at him like he had grown another head.  
  
"Are you crazy?! It says 'Do not enter'! Why the hell did you bring me here? Is Mark even in there?"  
  
Bambam could only shrug and stare at Jinyoung out of boredom.

"It's fine, hyung. Just get out and follow the trail. You're safe up there. Hurry, Mark-hyung is waiting."  
  
At the confirmation of his boyfriend’s presence, Jinyoung had no choice but to follow what Bambam said. He slowly went outside of the car, and to his displeasure, is instantly attacked by a crisp gust of air. The wind is especially colder, since they were literally standing on top of a mountain. Jinyoung glanced at Bambam one last time, and hesitantly opened the gates.  
  
As soon as he stepped inside, a trail of lights started flickering, forming a path upfront. The literature major assumed that this is his guide to where he needed to go, and so he followed the path, albeit there is nervousness thrumming inside him. As he is walking, he could clearly make out the bountiful grass and trees surrounding the area, admiring how the plants looked like they were very well taken cared of. He continues on following the path, and on the far end he could see an outline of a house. The lights were open, but he could not find anyone walking around inside. Jinyoung thought about heading towards the door of the house to see if Mark is there, but quickly noticed that the path lights did not seem to head to that direction, so he disregarded that thought for now and continued following the lights instead.  
  
As he reached the end of the road, he found himself standing at a large open backyard, with the most amazing view of the city lights that he had ever seen. It was absolutely breathtaking, but what made his heart flutter intensely was not the view of the city itself, but a figure of the man he is so familiar with.  
  
There, in front of him, is Mark with all of his suited glory, and he is smiling beautifully right at him.  
  
It's as if something set Jinyoung on fire, because he ran so hard and so fast that Mark had to yell at him to be careful. He didn't care however, all he wanted was to feel Mark's warmth again, and it felt so great when he finally reached him and wrapped his arms at the older man's body.  
  
"I missed you so much." Jinyoung muttered, burying his face against Mark's neck.  
  
He felt Mark's arms tighten their embrace, trapping him further and keeping their body even closer to each other.  
  
"I missed you too, kitten." Mark whispered against his ear. A surge of contentment flowed into Jinyoung, he feels the most peace when he's with Mark, and right now, he's finally back where he belongs.  
  
They finally let go of each after a few minutes, and Jinyoung took a good look at the breathtaking man in front of him. Mark is absolutely a sight to behold, and Jinyoung is the luckiest person alive to witness it upclose. They entertwined their fingers together, and it was like everything felt right; like a puzzle piece finding it's perfect match.  
  
"How are you doing, love? I'm so sorry I wasn't able to reach you sooner."  
  
Mark asked lovingly, cupping Jinyoung's face and looking at him with nothing but adoration. Jinyoung shook his head and smiled at him warmly.  
  
"I'm fine, and it's okay. I know how busy you are. I'll admit, the last two weeks was torture without seeing you, but I understand that your work needs your full attention." Jinyoung responded.  
  
Mark smiled fondly and kissed Jinyoung's hand that is still locked tightly with his.

"I must have saved an entire nation in my past life, because I truly do not deserve an angel like you."  
  
Jinyoung felt butterflies creeping at his stomach, and he felt his cheeks warm up at the compliment. Even after 8 months of dating, Mark has never failed to sweep him off his feet.  
  
A gust of chilly wind distracted him, and he suddenly remembered why he was here.  
  
"Um, Mark? Why are we here again?"  
  
It's as if Mark also just remembered the reason why they were there, so he smiled sheepishly and explained. "Well, a littld birdy told me you were having a hard time at school lately, so I wanted to boost your mood a little." He lead Jinyoung to a beautifully decorated table near the edge of the cliff, overlooking the vast lights of the city.  
  
Jinyoung looked at him quizzically. "A little birdy? Who's that?"  
  
Mark smirked and kissed Jinyoung's forehead.

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you, sweet cheeks."  
  
They both sat infront of each other and is served by a waiter that Jinyoung didn't even realize is present in the first place. He looked at Mark quietly while he was talking to the server, and another question popped into his mind.  
  
"Someone sent this suit to my workplace, was it you who did it?"  
  
Mark thanked the waiter and slowly sipped the red wine they were given, letting the liquid linger in his mouth to enjoy the sweet taste in his tongue. He shaked his head in response and placed the wine glass down.  
  
"As much as I wanted to give it personally, I couldn't. I asked Bambam to do it."  
  
Jinyoung nodded, he figured that as much. If he were to be truly honest, they had never gone out together in public. Mark is a busy and incredibly influential man-- he is one of the most in-demand bachelor in their country today. He is a public figure, so that means people will try to find some dirt in his private life. Jinyoung cherished every moment that he has with Mark, so when the older man asked him if it's okay that they meet discreetly for his safety, he was okay with it. Meeting in secret was certainly better than having a bunch of cameras shoving up his ass everytime he tries to leave his dorm.  
  
"Wait, speaking of the suit. When will we meet again? How will I give this suit back?"

Jinyoung questioned. He certainly can't place the suit together with his clothes back at the dorm, it will look so out of place. Plus, he might ruin it with his unhealthy lifestyle, and he’s too broke to pay for any unwanted damages.  
  
Mark looked at him like he was making a weird joke.

"Return it? Baby, it's yours. I bought that for you as a gift."  
  
Jinyoung's eyes went wide at that. He dropped his fork and stared at Mark in disbelief. "Are you serious? Why would you do that? You could've saved that money for something way more important! I already to you not to go around spending money on me!"  
  
Mark chuckled at his lover's antics. It's always adorable to him how everytime he gave Jinyoung an “expensive” gift (which really doesn't put a dent on his massive fortune to be completely honest) the younger man would nag at him and scold him for spending unnecessary money again.  
  
Then again, everything that Park Jinyoung does is adorable in his eyes.  
  
The elder reached for his boyfriend’s hand on top of the table, caressing it gently with his thumb.

"Kitten, relax. It really isn't much, I promise." Mark reassured.  
  
Jinyoung pouted and glared at Mark accusingly. "You say that everytime. But whenever I google the prices of the items, I always get mini heart attacks on how ridiculously expensive they are."  
  
Mark laughed at that. He couldn't stop himself and reached across the table to pinch the sulky man's apple cheeks.  
  
"You're so cute when you're mad."  
  
Jinyoung slapped his hand away, his face reddening from the elder’s cooing. Mark is still eyeing him with amusement while cutting his food, so the younger fake coughed and tried to change the subject away from him.

"A-Anyway, enough about me. How's your work?"  
  
Mark stilled at the question, but acted nonchalant as he racked his brain to think of what to say.  
  
 _'Oh, it was okay. I shot a man in the head last night because my men fucked up in guarding their posts. His blood was easy to remove, so I feel relatively fine.'_

  
  
If he said that, Jinyoung would never see him again.

  
  
Instead, he tried to smile as genuine as he can and spoke.  
  
"I had some... _backtracks_ with the company. Some guy tried to spy on us, but it was taken care of. Other than that, everything's going well."  
  
Jinyoung looked at him worriedly and gave his full attention.

"Oh no. So what did you do? Did you take him to jail?"

  
 _'I took him to his grave.'_ Mark thought.

  
Jinyoung's beautiful features is staring right at him full of curiosity. He hated lying to this amazing man, but there was no way in hell he was going to reveal who he really was.  
  
  
"I guess you could say that."  
  
  
After a series of conversations and catching up, they finally finished their meal. For Jinyoung, that meant that their night is over and that he had to wait for Mark to contact him again.

Disappointment is visible in his features, and Mark took notice of the change in his demeanor.  
  
"Hey, what's with the long face? Why do you look so gloomy all of a sudden?"  
  
Jinyoung quickly covered his face with his hands, refusing to look at Mark and let him now how upset he was.  
  
"It's-it's nothing! I should probably go home right? Since it's so late already. You have to go back to work as well."  
  
He didn't want to sound clingy, but he hoped that Mark would ask him to stay. He hasn't seen Mark for almost two weeks, he missed the man so much it hurts.  
  
The elder pried Jinyoung's hand away from his face, smiling as he did so.

"Who says you were leaving? My Operation: make- Park Jinyoung-happy mission isn't done yet."  
  
Mark then grabbed Jinyoung by the hand and they headed towards the cozy-looking home. Once inside, they were greeted by a sweet smell of vanilla scent, and two men were waiting at the side.  
  
Jinyoung looked at the men infront of them and questioned Mark.  
  
"What's happening?"  
  
As if on cue, the men walked towards them and handed them each a robe. Jinyoung realized that they had to change their clothes for the given item, but for why, he didn’t know. The younger’s confusion must have translated on his face, as Mark held his hand to get his attention.  
  
"This is phase 2 of my genius plan. I’m giving you a full body massage so you could completely relax and get rid of your stress."  
  
Hearing that, Jinyoung's eyes widened and his heartbeat started to beat faster. Suddenly, he held the robe close to his chest and moved away from Mark.  
  
"You-you're giving me a massage?" He asked, feeling his face flush from the thought.  
  
Mark blinked for a few seconds, but quickly realized what Jinyoung was thinking. A smirk started forming on his face, and he looked at his boyfriend teasingly.

"What? Why are you so surprised? It's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

Jinyoung felt scandalized at that. He started hitting Mark's shoulder to hide his embarrasment .  
  
"Y-You pervert!"  
  
Mark laughed out loud and tried to stop Jinyoung's attack to explain himself.  
  
"Stop! Stop! I was just teasing you! I won't be doing it, okay? One of the guys over there will. They're professionals. I hired them so you don't have to worry about anything."  
  
Hearing the explanation, Jinyoung felt slightly relieved and stopped his attacks. There was a pang of disappointment in his chest, but his pride is too big to even acknowledge that fact.  
  
"Okay..." was all he could say.  
  
Mark, the ever quick-witted person that he is, looked at his lover coyly. He slowly went close to Jinyoung's ear and whispered. "I can do it myself though if you want. But then again, I can't promise you that I'll keep my hands off your nice peaches."  
  
With that, Jinyoung was gone in a flash, screaming obscene things at Mark out of embarrasment.  
  
After that whole commotion was over, Jinyoung was lead into a room with a divider when he was done changing into the robe. He is eternally grateful for the massage, as he has been stressed out for a couple of weeks. He needed a well deserved rest, and Mark's timing couldn't have been any better.  
  
The massage was perfect, every tightness he felt was gone in an instant, and Jinyoung could only sigh in relief as the masseuse take the stress away from his entire body. He felt light and satisfied when everything was done, and thanked the man for his good work. He was led to a room at the far end and when he opened it, he found Mark laying at the Queen sized bed, already done and waiting for him. He was scrolling through his phone when he noticed Jinyoung and motioned for him to lay at the empy space next to him. Jinyoung followed, and as he laid down, Mark instantly wrapped his arms around the younger man.  
  
"Feel better?" Mark asked, raking Jinyoung's raven hair to soothe him.  
  
Jinyoung felt another sigh of satisfaction escape through his mouth, and he nodded.

"Much. Thank you for doing this."  
  
Mark kissed his forehead in return. "Anything for you."  
  
They lay in silence for a few moments, just enjoying each other's presence. Jinyoung felt himself getting sleepy, but Mark's voice brought him back to reality.  
  
"Can I ask what was the reason behind your stressed mood?"  
  
Jinyoung adjusted himself to a better position, with his head resting on Mark's chest, feeling his every heartbeart.

"Remember when I told you about my scholarship? How I wanted so badly to get it?"  
  
Mark, who is currently petting Jinyoung's hair hummed silently, encouraging Jinyoung to go on.  
  
"Well, my professors said that I can have that scholarship if I present a short story at the University competition with their chosen theme."  
  
"Hm... And what was the theme they gave you?"  
  
"Deception."  
  
Mark stopped what he was doing and looked at Jinyoung's head. He felt his heart beat quicken by what he had heard.  
  
"Interesting."  
  
He remained nonchalant, but so many thoughts started running through his head.  
  
Jinyoung sighed and turned his head to look at Mark. "It's due next month, but I can't seem to get into the zone and finish it."  
  
Mark caressed his cheeks and smiled. "I'm sure you'll find a way. You're Park Jinyoung, after all."  
  
Jinyoung pouted.  
  
"I hope so."  
  
Another silence engulfed both of them. Mark’s mind started running on places he didn’t want, so he decided to distract himself.  
  
"Well, enough about that. I have an urgent matter to adress to you."

Mark suddenly announced, sitting up from the bed and looking at Jinyoung with a mischievous glint on his eyes.  
  
"Park Jinyoung, you have been especially naughty tonight."  
  
Jinyoung furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.  
  
"What?"  
  
All of a sudden, the elder pushed Jinyoung to the bed, effectively trapping him under as he straddled the younger’s lap.

"I heard the sounds you were making during the massage. You're such a sneaky fox. You did that on purpose to tempt me, didn't you?"  
  
Jinyoung was confused about how Mark was able to hear him, until he realized that they were on the same room the whole time, and the divider was the only thing that was separating them from each other. He initially felt embarrassed, but then that feeling turned into something else, as his body shivered at how intense Mark is looking at him right now. He couldn't help but to be turned on by how sexy he looked. He wanted to tease him a bit more so he smirked, licking his lips and stared back at Mark with the same intensity.

"So what if I did? What are you going to do about it? Hm?"  
  
Mark was in a trance, looking at Jinyoung's lips as he spoke the entire time. Jinyoung looked the sexiest like this, trapped under him without escape, like a prey waiting to be devoured wholly by it’s predator.  
  
"Looks like I have no choice but to punish you." Mark replied, already anticipating what would happen next. "Hard."  
  
Jinyoung felt lust bubbling inside him, and he decided to tease some more, ghosting around Mark's lips with his own. He then reached closer to Mark's ear, whispering in the most seductive way that he can.  
  
"Give me all that you got, hyung."  
  
  


  
  
That night might have ended for most people, but for them, it was just getting started.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn’t have time to edit this chapter 😣 Sorry! 🙏🏼

The sweet smell of eggs getting burnt was what woke Jinyoung up from his slumber.  
  
He tossed and turnt around the comfortable mattress, feeling an empty space next to him. The early sunlight was hitting his face in every direction, as if it was mocking him to get his ass moving and go back to work already. Jinyoung slowly sat up and suddenly felt cold, realizing that he was completely naked from top to bottom. The drowsiness confused him for a moment, but then memories of last night's 'activities' invaded his brain, and a shy smile crept up his face. He couldn't stop thinking about what happened; How Mark’s body was pressed up against his, how every kiss and touch electrified every fiber of his being. He didn’t know how to control his emotions, so he attacked his poor, defenseless pillows out of giddiness.  
  
A load clank was heard outside the room and managed to grab his attention, so Jinyoung decided to go out and check what was happening. He picked up the closest shirt nearby, which happened to be Mark's gray hoodie, and some boxers. Jinyoung can still smell the elder’s cologne lingering on the clothing, and he never felt more relaxed in his life.  
  
Once he was out of the room, he maneuvered through the hallways, following the cause of the ruckus that is happening so early in the morning. He was led straight to the kitchen, where he found Mark attempting- and failing miserably - to save the rest of what he's cooking.  
  
Jinyoung chuckled at the amusing sight and sneakily went behind Mark, who was so focused and was already sweating like bullets.  
  
"Need a hand?"  
  
The young CEO jumped up in surprise, resulting in his most decent looking omelette diving down the floor. His mouth was agape by what happened to his precious meal, then he glared at Jinyoung accusingly.  
  
"That was supposed to be our breakfast!"  
  
Jinyoung couldn't help but to coo at the sight. Mark was pouting so hard as he took another glance at his short-lived creation. Jinyoung grabbed his face and kissed him multiple times, in an attempt to brighten up the older man's mood.  
  
“Awwww. I'm sorry baby. You looked so into it, that I had to ask you what you were doing."  
  
Mark was still looking so sulky, so Jinyoung kissed him again.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Mark was quietly looking at Jinyoung. He then pointed to his forehead. "Kiss me here."  
  
Jinyoung followed suit.  
  
"And here."  
  
Jinyoung pecked his nose.  
  
"Here."  
  
Jinyoung kissed his cheek.  
  
"Lastly, here."  
  
Jinyoung chuckled at his boyfriend's antics, but he still obliged to the requests. He wrapped his arms around Mark and reached forward to kiss his lips once more. His intention was only to peck him, but Mark thought otherwise, as he held the younger closer and deepened the kiss instead. The experience is exhilarating, both of them not wanting to let go, both of them fighting for dominance. It was like they were riding on a roller coaster, taking them higher and then dropping them down without warning. They were both each other's adrenaline; they were both each other's lifeline.  
  
They finally let go feeling out of breath, but happy all the same. Jinyoung couldn't help but to laugh when he surveyed the area and noticed the mess that Mark had made. There were traces of egg shells scattered on the floor, pancakes were half cooked and mushy, and a pile of charcoaled omelettes was placed next to the gas stove. Mark may be good with handling his businesses, but when it comes to the kitchen, he was a terrible cook.  
  
The elder smiled sheepishly when he noticed Jinyoung quietly judging his work space.  
  
“I wanted to give you a nice breakfast in bed, but it was already too late when I remembered that I can't cook for shit."  
  
Jinyoung giggled at his boyfriend's cuteness and pinched his cheeks.

"I appreciate the gesture, but let me handle the cooking, okay? It’s a miracle that you haven't burned down the house yet."  
  
Mark sighed in defeat. He was going to be useless in the kitchen, so instead he cleaned up the chaos that he had created to provide a clean space for Jinyoung to work with. Once he was done, he proceeded to sit on the chair over the counter and silently watched his working lover.  
  
Even though it's been a while since they had started dating, Mark still feels anxious about Jinyoung finding out who he really is.  
  
He has been extra careful not to discuss anything about his mafia business with Bambam, especially when Jinyoung is around. He couldn't bear the thought of losing this incredible man in front of him. The thought of Jinyoung's horrified face if when he finds out the truth is what’s haunting him at night.

Jinyoung is the light in his dark and vicious life. He is his sanity; the sole reason why Mark has not been completely swallowed by the darkness inside of him.  
  
The literature major must have noticed Mark's thoughtful gaze at him, and decided to get his attention. He took the freshly cooked omelettes infront of Mark's nose, letting him inhale the sweet aroma of a properly cooked breakfast. That did the trick, as Mark snapped out of his thoughts and sniffed the meal wholeheartedly.

The elder refocused his attention towards his boyfriend, who was already sporting a breathtaking smile.   
  
"Welcome back to earth, Mister Tuan."  
  
Mark smiled.  
  
Without Jinyoung, he would be nothing.  
  
—  
  
The breakfast was light and peaceful, and in no time they were both getting ready to leave their little paradise. Mark insisted that they shower together to 'save water', but Jinyoung knew that won't be as simple as that. True enough, their supposedly innocent bath turned into something more, and minutes later, they left the bathroom with fresh bruises and flushed faces.  
  
Jinyoung did not expect to stay for the night and didn't bring any clothes with him, so he had to rummage into Mark's closet to get one. Not that he minded though, he was actually thrilled to wear Mark's clothes, as it made him feel connected to the older man.  
  
As he was deciding what to wear, he saw Mark on his peripheral vision, fully clothed and ready for work, fixing his tie in front of the mirror.  
  
"You're heading straight to your company?" Jinyoung asked.  
  
Mark sighed and nodded, fixing his hair in the process. "I have to. I have an urgent meeting that I have no choice but to attend to."  
  
Jinyoung hummed and found a blue hoodie and ripped pants. He didn't need to worry about finding some good clothes, as he was going straight to his dorm to change anyway.  
  
He heard the bed creak and found Mark sitting and looking at him quietly. It was like that for a while before Mark's voice cut through.  
  
"Bambam will be here shortly to take you home. I'm sorry I won't be able to come with you."  
  
Even though it has always been that way ever since the beginning, Jinyoung still couldn't help but to be disappointed even a little. He knows it's for his safety, but isn't it a little excessive that Mark can't take him home personally?  
  
He wanted to be selfish, even just once. So even though he knew what the answer would be, Jinyoung still tried to ask.  
  
"Can you take me back instead?"  
  
He heard Mark sigh. Jinyoung knew what that meant.  
  
Mark shuffled closer to where Jinyoung was and wrapped him into a tight embrace. He felt bad, even though Jinyoung would not tell him directly, he knew his lover was disappointed again. He hated himself in times like this, he hates upsetting Jinyoung. However his line of work is not something to be taken lightly, his position as both a CEO and a mafia Leader is not just for show. Many people are waiting to see him fall, and they would do anything to witness that no matter what. His enemies were like hyenas--- stalking him, surrounding him, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Any sign of weakness or fear would be the end of Mark, and the only thing he was afraid of was losing Jinyoung.  
  
So, Mark will do everything in his power to protect him, even if it means not being able to do what a normal lover would.  
  
"I'm sorry, kitten. You know I can't do that. It's too risky."  
  
Jinyoung laid his head back at Mark's shoulder, welcoming his warmth. He then entertwined their fingers together.  
  
"I know. I just wanted to see if you changed your mind."  
  
Mark kissed Jinyoung's head in an attempt to console him. He really felt bad, so bad that he wanted to change his mind about it.  
  
_'You can't put his life in danger, Mark.'_ His inner voice scolded.  
  
He tightened his hold on his lover. He can't. He absolutely cannot jeopardise Jinyoung's safety.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
It was all Mark could say.  
  
—  
  
Bambam arrived 15 minutes later, overdressed as always and ready to roll. Jinyoung felt his steps getting heavier as he kept walking towards the car, his desires wanting him to stay with Mark a little bit longer. The thai man greeted them and opened the door when they finally reached the car.  
  
Jinyoung felt Mark squeeze his hand right next to him, and when he looked up he saw the stunning man smiling sadly.  
  
"Take care of yourself, okay?"  
  
Jinyoung felt his eyes water, he really didn't want to leave. He was so frustrated that he hugged the CEO yet again. Mark must have felt the same because he hugged back with the same vigor.  
  
"When will I see you again?" Jinyoung whispered.  
  
Mark didn't know how to answer.  
  
"I don't know." He replied lamely. "Soon."  
  
Jinyoung hates the uncertainty, but he loves Mark too much to even think about letting him go. So, he reached the other's lips and kissed him so hard and so full of passion, letting his actions speak what his words couldn't.  
  
"I love you." Jinyoung confessed.  
  
Mark felt crushed at giving such a selfish answer, especially when Jinyoung just accepted his stupid reply without question.  
  
"I love you too. So much."  
  
He replied, convincing himself that everything he's doing now is keeping Jinyoung away from any danger. And as he watches the car slowly drift away from his sight, his resolve to protect that important person became stronger than ever.  
  
—  
  
Jinyoung was finally back at his dorm after a long drive. He bid Bambam goodbye and headed up to his room. He was still a little sullen, already missing Mark's warm body next to his. He was expecting Youngjae to scold him when he reached their place, but his roommate was nowhere to be found. When he thinks about it, his dongsaeng was rarely present at their room nowadays. He asked about it last time, and Youngjae just replied that he was needed in his home more than usual. Jinyoung figured he was back at his family home, so he let it pass his head and proceeded to grab his laptop and go to Jaebeom's coffee shop to start working on his story. Jinyoung had discovered before that he is the most creative when he’s at his bestfriend's place, since the shop is cozy and perfect for stressed college students like him. He took his essentials for the trip and headed to the door. He didn't feel like changing his clothes anymore, because that was the only reminder that what happened the night before was real, and he wanted to linger on to that moment a bit longer.  
  
The addicting scent of freshly brewed coffee greeted Jinyoung's senses. Offshore is busier today than usual, as he can see Jaebeom running around and greeting costumers on the counter. He went into the long line and waited until it was his turn to order, observing the people currently doing their own business. Majority of the costumers were students, he can tell because of their sunken eyes and the insane amount of coffee cups on their tables that he can't help but chuckle at how relatable it was. He was 100% sure that caffeine is what's running through his system now, not blood.  
  
After a few minutes of waiting, it was finally his turn to order. Jaebeom was staring at him silently, noticing that something happened with his bestfriend. Jinyoung knew what the stare was all about, and he stared back, meaning to tell Jaebeom that he will talk about it later. They have developed deep friendship over the years to know what the other is thinking, even without uttering a word. Jaebeom didn't have to ask what his bestfriend would like, since it was always the same everytime. Instead, Jinyoung just handed him the bill and proceeded to an empty spot at the very end of the shop. To kill time, he took out his laptop and opened his unfinished work. The time he spent with Mark must have been very effective, because as soon as Jinyoung read where he left off, he began to start writing. He never stopped even even if a woman was screaming at his boyfriend when she found out he was cheating, he never glanced up even if Jaebeom handed him his drink 15 minutes after. Once he was inside his own bubble, the outside world was insignificant.  
  
He only went out of it when a high-pitched voice called his attention.  
  
"Hyuuuuuunggggggg!"  
  
Jinyoung noticed a giant man approaching him, eyes crinkling and mouth smiling widely.  
  
"Oh Yugyeom, you're here."  
  
Jinyoung met Kim Yugyeom at one of their dance recital, when Jinyoung needed to interview new dancers as part of their artistic research. The younger man instantly clung to him, and they were inseparable ever since.  
  
Yugyeom claimed the seat in front of Jinyoung, who was currently sipping his now-cold coffee. Yugyeom peeked at the laptop and saw that his hyung was in the midst of his work.  
  
"Looks like your story is going well."  
  
Jinyoung suddenly remembered how stuck he was with his story, but after he spent time with Mark, it's like a veil was suddenly lifted, and now he was halfway done with it. He smiled knowingly, his cat whiskers making its presence known.  
  
"I had a burst of inspiration before I came here." Jinyoung simply replied.  
  
Yugyeom smiled, feeling happy as well that his hyung was feeling better.  
  
Jinyoung noticed Yugyeom was carrying a lot of books in his hand, so he decided to ask what it was for. The younger man groaned in response, feeling tired after hearing the inquiry. "I have a major exam coming up. I've been skipping a lot because of dance practice lately, and if I fail, I'll have to repeat the class." Yugyeom whined.  
  
Jinyoung frowned, feeling his maternal instincts kicking in. "I already told you not to overdo it, didn't I? You have other classes besides dance you know, you should know how to manage your time well."  
  
Yugyeom sighed in defeat, already expecting that Jinyoung was going to scold him. "Yes mom, I know. That's why I came here at Jaebeom hyung's shop to study. I'm very productive here, apparently."  
  
Speaking of the devil, Jaebeom was heading towards their direction with a drink in hand. Thankfully, the rush hour was starting to slow down, so Jaebeom have some time to spare for a conversation.  
  
"Choco milkshake, for one giant brat."  
  
Yugyeom pouted at the nickname but happily took the drink, sipping the chocolatey goodness in content. Jaebeom took an extra chair on another table and sat next to Jinyoung. He looked at Jinyoung for a few moments, trying to figure out what was different. The person in question can feel his intense gaze, so he squirmed under his seat. Feeling hot all of a sudden, he pulled his hoodie downwards, which was a grave mistake because Jaebeom saw the newly-formed hickeys decorating his neck. Jaebeom's eyes went wide, and a disgusted expression graced his face.  
  
"Aw, gross! You got laid last night, didn't you?"  
  
Jinyoung's face went red at the accusation, and he heard a small cough in front of him. Suddenly, he remembered someone else was present, so he lunged, placing his hands on Yugyeom's ears to prevent him from hearing anything else.  
  
"Yah! Im Jaebeom! Don't say that infront of my son!"  
  
Yugyeom slapped his hand away, feeling insulted. "Stop treating me like a baby, hyung. I know what sex is."  
  
Jinyoung gasped and dramatically placed his hand next to his chest. "When did you grow up so fast?" He exclaimed.  
  
Jaebeom rolled his eyes at his uncharacteristically dramatic friend. He then crossed his hands infront of him and started interrogating. "So, you finally saw him again, huh? How long has it been? Two weeks?"  
  
Jinyoung dropped the act and sighed. Jaebeom was aware that he was dating The Mark Tuan, the CEO of Yang Enterprises. Mark knows him as well, but they haven't officially met because of Mark's work. Jaebeom has been a listening ear to his every rants, and he was honest to say that he didn't like how their relationship is going. He can't blame Jaebeom though, as he was the one who witnessed how Jinyoung would look so sad and gloomy for not seeing Mark often.  
  
"Yeah, it has been a while. He took me somewhere nice and we just... spent time together again." Jinyoung replied.  
  
Yugyeom piped up at the conversation between the two, curiosity etched on his features. "Is it the same guy you're dating, hyung? The rich one?"  
  
Jinyoung nodded. "Yeah, still the same guy."  
  
Yugyeom's mouth went 'oooh' in amazement. "Wow. You're so lucky, hyung. I wish I could have someone like that."  
  
Besides Jaebeom, no one knew who Jinyoung was really dating, and he didn't reveal it either. All his close friends only knew was that he was dating a working man. Jinyoung wanted to introduce Mark to them originally, but circumstances does not allow for it to happen.  
  
Jaebeom snorted at Yugyeom's remark. "Please. I'd rather be _actually_ single than _feel_ single while being in a relationship."  
  
Jinyoung scowled at what Jaebeom had said. It was clear that his bestfriend was not happy about the situation. He was about to give the man a piece of his mind when Yugyeom beat him to it.  
  
"You're just jealous because Jinyoung hyung's getting action. While you're just standing there doing nothing but stare everytime Youngjae-hyung comes in."  
  
Jaebeom's face flushed so red at the maknae's comment. Jinyoung laughed his ass off, not caring if other costumers could hear him. Jaebeom grabbed Yugyeom by the neck and proceeded to strangle the life out of him.  
  
"YOU BRAT! I DO NOT STARE AT YOUNGJAE!"  
  
Yugyeom was suffocating, but he was howling with laughter. "Yes you do! I even saw you drool one time!"  
  
Jinyoung slapped the table repeatedly, his face contorted with laughing so much. Yugyeom truly was his own son, his savageness could only come from Jinyoung himself. Jaebeom continued to assault the poor boy, his face so red from embarrasment and anger that he would explode any minute.  
  
_'My little sunshine may actually have a chance after all.'_ Jinyoung pondered.  
  
As Jinyoung continues to enjoy the hilarious scene unfold in front of him, he could only hope that everyday was just as blissful as this one.


	6. Chapter 6

Three days later, a sudden attack to the Tiger Lily Mafia caught everyone off guard.  
  
The target location was in one of the organization's older buildings, situated at Apgujeong-Dong.  
  
Jackson is the first one to arrive on the scene, being the one who received the distress call sent by one of the members currently at the site. The said building is not under his supervision, but he wanted to prove himself to Mark again after his failure the last time.  
  
He was confused though as to why they were under attack all of a sudden. For the whole 4 years that Mark has been their leader, not once did other syndicates try to start something dangerous with them. In fact, most of them tried to be at their good side, as being under Tiger Lily's protection would mean that they would be untouchable from everyone else. Jackson attempted to recall previous mafia groups who could possibly be the mastermind, but he couldn't think of anyone who would dare.  
  
When he arrived, he realized that they were in a deeper shit than he had expected.  
  
Their men were lying motionless all over the floor, blood and guts spilling in all directions. Jackson was speechless. This building was one of their most secured compound, their most skillful men were stationed at this location. He couldn't understand how the attackers were able to get past all the security and manage to annihilate most of their men. What happened?

He was pulled out of his thoughts however when the sound of gunshots rang inside the building. Jackson ordered his team that came with him to move in.  
  
They were quiet, pacing stealthily on the long corridors. They were the backup, meaning that even the most experienced members of their group was not able to neutralize the infiltrators. Jackson's team needed to succeed in stopping them.  
  
When they rounded up the next hallway, more dead bodies were piling up one after the other. Jackson examined the messy pile, his senses more alert. As he ordered his team to keep moving, he heard a low moan from one of the bodies laying. He located the noise and found one of their men still breathing, but was barely holding it together.  
  
Jackson crouched down to check on the injured man.  
  
“Hey! Can you stand up?"  
  
The man shook his head no. Jackson can tell that he was already on the brink of death.  
  
Jackson knew there was no use in moving him, so he asked the man what happened instead. The man was breathing heavily, as he tried to make out coherent words.  
  
“It... it came out of nowhere. One moment we were all.... just... watching the.. cctv... next thing we knew... someone... was shooting at us."  
  
"Where's TOP? Isn't he in charge of this place?"  
  
The man coughed out loud, blood continuously pooling out of his mouth. "He's... he's dead."  
  
Jackson raked his silver hair in frustration. TOP was one of the best combat fighters in their group. If they managed to beat him, that must mean that their attackers were not to be taken lightly. The man was gasping for air, unable to stay conscious for much longer.  
  
"How did they get in without anyone of you noticing?"  
  
The man's eyelids were starting to droop down, as if life is slowly leaving out of him. But he tried with all of his might to answer.  
  
"That's... the thing... they came in and... it's like... they already knew... the whole place."  
  
And with that, the man slowly stopped breathing. Jackson was quiet for a moment before standing up and composing himself. He was more confused than ever. Their opponents knew their way around the building? How is that possible?  
  
He couldn't stop and think about it for long, because more gunshots echoed throughout the building. Time was of the essence, so he sprinted towards the noise to end all the chaos that is happening.  
  
Their team didn't have to search for long, because as soon as they reached one of their safe rooms, bullets were suddenly flying towards them. Jackson had to duck around the nearest table to shield himself from the slaughter. He started firing from his position, and being an accurate shot he made his opponents drop one by one. He slowly advanced forward to gain some leverage, but didn't notice another person sneaking up on him . The said person kicked away his handgun, and delivered a low kick to his stomach. Jackson hurled backward in pain, but quickly recovered to dodge when the man lunged forward to kick him again.  
  
He was able to grab the man's leg, causing the attacker to stumble down and lose his footing. It was the perfect moment for Jackson to strike, grabbing the man in a headlock position, and snapping his neck in an instant. Jackson threw the man at the side and proceeded to injure others, with him being roughed up in return.  
  
Jackson was able to take down the opponents in front of him. He dashed ahead, ready to catch up to the other intruders. He saw them unloading one of their rooms where they keep their powerful explosives. He couldn't let them get away with it, because those weapons when detonated, could blow up an entire city. Jackson steeled himself for a surprise attack when he felt a blunt object hit his head. It was so hard that he immediately stumbled down, feeling lightheaded and dizzy. A cold metal was pressed into his forehead, and voice behind him spoke.  
  
"Silly boy. You really thought you could stop us by yourself?"  
  
The said man proceeded to repeatedly kick him in the stomach. Jackson couldn't think straight, he could feel a warm liquid oozing out of his head. His vision was blurry and he can't seem to understand what the man had said. Judging from the situation, however, it looks like he was about to be shot to death.  
  
His heartbeat quickened. No, he couldn't die yet. There was still so much he needs to do.

He’s still not done serving Mark, he still needs to be recognized as a rapper, he still needs to get his family out of poverty.  
  
He still needs to love a certain person.  
  
As if the heavens heard his plea, another person took the gun away from his forehead.  
  
"That's enough. We got what we came for. We need to go. Now."  
  
Jackson slowly followed his gaze to the retreating people in front of him. He feels frustrated. For the second time, he had let Mark down. The weight of his physical pain and emotional disappointment set in, and he closed his eyes, welcoming the presence of darkness.  
  
\--  
  
Mark absolutely hated attending to business meetings.  
  
He has been in the same position for almost 3 hours, listening to some building construction proposal for a new casino. The board of directors were discussing how it would affect their business and whatsoever stuff they were talking about. If he were to be honest, it really wasn't necessary that he attend every meeting, but it was engraved unto him that no matter how trivial a discussion is, a leader’s presence is always expected.  
  
He is almost at his wits end when someone talked about something that piqued his interest.  
  
"Why don’t we locate it somewhere else then? There was that old bookshop in the far end right? If we could buy that from the owner, we could tear it down and build the building there."  
  
Mark tried to recall why the place sounded so familiar to him.  
  
All of a sudden, he slammed his hand on the table. The directors were visibly surprised by his unexpected interruption.  
  
"I'm sorry, did you say Bookshop? You mean that one in Cheongdam-dong?"  
  
One woman fixed her glasses and nodded.

"Yes, that's the one."  
  
Mark frowned. The bookshop they were referring to was where Jinyoung was working.  
  
“Absolutely not. There's no way in hell you're going to demolish that place without my permission." He commanded.  
  
The directors were confused by this and looked at each other. A bald man was courageous enough to reason with Mark.  
  
"But, if we could build the casino at that place, there's a higher chance for the business to thrive. Celebrities live in Gangnam and-----"  
  
He didn't get to finish his sentence because Mark cut him off.  
  
"I said no, didn't I? Did you hear me stutter?"

He asked, daring all of them to try and talk back to him again. Mark couldn't help but to bring out his mafia persona this time, they were talking about tearing down the place that's precious to Jinyoung.

Everything that his boyfriend loves and cherishes, he had vowed to protect. He was that important to Mark.  
  
The directors knew better than to push on the matter further, and directed their attention to another topic. It was then when Bambam came in, looking all pale and horrified.  
  
In an instant, Mark knew it was time for him to leave. He excused himself out of the room together with Bambam. They went into his main office and made sure no one would enter the room.  
  
"Bambam, what is it?" Mark asked, not liking the younger man's expression.  
  
"Boss... our compound at Apgujeong-Dong was infiltrated. Most of our men died. Jackson's injured as well."  
  
Mark was shocked. His body stood in attention as he grabbed Bambam by the shoulders, shaking the answers out of him.  
  
"How hurt is Jackson? Is he okay?"  
  
Bambam nodded shakily. His voice trembled as he tried to speak. "He's okay. He has a lot of bruises, but other than that, he'll live."  
  
Mark couldn't believe what was happening. He needed to see it for himself. He grabbed his coat and car keys and threw them to Bambam. He then proceeded to open the door and leave.  
  
"Let's go."  
  
The place was in shambles when they arrived. Much like what Jackson witnessed earlier, the floor was filled with blood, like a truckload of the red liquid was suddenly spilled all over the vicinity. Mark's features visibly darkened. He could see dead bodies whichever direction he looked. These were all good men, they were loyal to him and they were good at their jobs. He personally hand picked some of them because he saw potential. Now, their lives were wasted away into nothingness.  
  
Mark and Bambam were greeted by one of Jackson's men. He bowed at Mark's presence and the latter asked about the situation.  
  
"What happened here, Jae?"  
  
Jae, one of their hitman scowled.

"One of the men we encountered here said that a group of masked people suddenly attacked them. They didn't know where they came from, but from the looks of it, they knew about the layout of the building."  
  
Mark raised his eyebrows at the information. "They knew about the passages?"  
  
Jae nodded in confirmation.  
  
Bambam spoke up. "How's Jackson?"  
  
Jae led them to a room where Jackson was currently resting. Mark had an unreadable expression on his face when he saw the state of his friend. Jackson was sleeping peacefully, bandages were wrapped all over his body and forehead. Bambam sat next to the sleeping figure and held his hand.  
  
"Stupid... you didn't think anything through and just went for it, didn't you? Now look at yourself. Idiot."  
  
Anger was slowly seeping through Mark's body. Whoever was responsible for this was not going to live another day. He was going to make sure of that.  
  
A knock on the door caught the attention of the two. Jae went inside, bringing even more bad news.  
  
"Boss, we just found out that they managed to steal more than half of our high-powered explosives. It seems that it was their intention from the very start."  
  
Mark closed his eyes in an attempt to control the burning rage inside of him. It was clearly a well-planned attack if they knew where the organization was keeping their powerful weapons. He thought that was the end of it, but Jae had more to say.  
  
"Also, there's something else you need to see."  
  
Jae led him to the end of a hallway, where the infiltrators made their escape. There, more bodies were scattered all around them. Mark didn’t have to look any further because there he saw, on the wall above where the bodies were placed was an unfamiliar insignia, drawn among the splashes of blood.

When an organization leaves an insignia in an enemy territory, it meant that they were sending a message. And for Mark, that message was very clear: Someone was starting a war against him.


	7. Chapter 7

Jinyoung stared at the calendar for the longest time that day.

The object in question stated that today is the 3rd of September.

Which means Mark’s birthday is tomorrow.

The literature major is nervous and excited. He had already planned his surprise, as he thought about it thoroughly for a few days now. The plan was complete, but in order to put it into action, he needed to ask Mark for his time. He wanted to inform the older a bit later, but Jinyoung couldn’t wait any longer and just decided to contact him now.

He opened his phone and looked for Mark’s contact number. Jinyoung wasn’t able to talk with his boyfriend after their date five days ago, since he became so caught up writing his story. The past few days have been going well for him, he was liking how his novel is going. He can’t wait to finish it and proudly present it to his professors, confident that he’s getting that scholarship without a hitch.

When Jinyoung finally found the number, he was conflicted on whether to call or text. He has never called Mark’s number before, because he was scared that he might interrupt the CEO in an important meeting. Also, Jinyoung was more of a texting person. At least with texts, he can just leave a person on read when he didn’t feel like talking, which he does frequently with Yugyeom. The boy may be a lovable, giant baby, but he knows how to push Jinyoung’s buttons so incredibly well. 

The younger wanted to change things up a little this time and dialed the number. He hopes that Mark isn’t busy, and that he called at the right time. Nonetheless, he can’t wait to hear from his boyfriend again.

After three rings, he finally heard someone speak on the other end.

_“Jinyoungie?”_

A familiar, deep voice rang through Jinyoung’s ears. Without even looking at the person, he will never ever mistake this voice for anyone else.

“Um, Hi Mark.”

Jinyoung wanted to slap himself. Why does he sound like a teenage girl speaking shyly to her crush?

_“Did something happen, baby? Why are you calling all of a sudden?”_

Jinyoung stood up from where he is currently sitting on the bed, his heartbeat fluttering at husky voice of Mark. He started pacing back and forth, nervous on how he‘s going to invite the elder tomorrow.

“Uh no, actually. Everything’s going well over here.”

Jinyoung can hear murmurs on the other end, like someone is talking in hushed voices. He instantly regretted calling. Maybe he called at bad time? He would beat himself up if he interrupted something.

The younger heard Mark shuffling a bit, and suddenly, the noises were gone. 

_“Oh, what is it then? Did you call just because you missed me?”_

Jinyoung coughed out loud at the accusation. He could definitely imagine Mark looking so smug right now, and he wanted to wipe that proud look so badly.

“Shut up.”

He heard Mark chuckle.

_“I miss you too, Jinyoungie.”_

Jinyoung smiled at that. He’s usually not the type of person who goes mushy and clingy, but with Mark, everything is different. Ever since he met the older man, the world just instantly became a better place. Jinyoung could forget all his debts, all his responsibilities, and all his struggles when he’s with Mark.

He can truly say that he has never loved so deeply, so intimately before he met Mark.

_“So, what is it kitten? What made you call?”_

The literature major remembered the reason why he called in the first place.

“Umm.. well... are you free tomorrow?”

Mark went silent for a few moments. The voices were back, but this time it was louder than before. He could make out some words, but couldn’t understand the entire conversation. As he was shamelessly trying to eavesdrop, a sudden _slam_ on the door was heard on the other end. Jinyoung yelped in surprise, worried that something may have happened. 

No one spoke a word for a while until he heard Mark sigh, as if he was frustrated. 

_“Sorry you had to hear that, kitten.”_

Mark sounded so stressed out while saying that, and Jinyoung became even more worried. He was silent for a few moments wondering if he made a mistake, and Mark must have sensed what he was feeling, because it was him who spoke again.

_“Why did you ask if I’m free tomorrow?”_

Jinyoung gulped, he didn’t know why he suddenly became nervous. Hearing that loud slam just caught him off guard. Mark didn’t elaborate what happened any further, so maybe it was just nothing? The younger cleared his throat, attempting to hide his jittery nerves.

“I want to take you somewhere.”

Mark hummed.

_“Where?”_

“It’s a secret.”

Mark went silent again, and Jinyoung lamented about ever calling the CEO. The elder wasn’t answering his question, and younger man was going to go insane if Mark doesn’t speak soon.

“Well, are you?” Jinyoung tried again.

Thankfully for him, Mark’s tongue is still intact.

_“I’m not doing anything important, so yes. I’m free tomorrow.”_

Jinyoung felt a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulder, and his giddiness came back again. He’s internally jumping up and down, ready to execute his birthday plan.

“Great! I’ll see you at 5am tomorrow!”

He heard Mark gasp.

_“5 AM????”_

Jinyoung laughed. His boyfriend loves sleeping, so the reaction was to be expected. But, they need to get up early so that everything would go as he planned it to be.

“Yup! 5AM! Also, no chaperone this time. Meaning, no Bambam that’s coming with us. I’m taking you all by myself tomorrow.”

Mark cooed. 

_“Aw but baby, I’m already yours to begin with.”_

He replied, voice filled with sincerity. 

Jinyoung can’t help but to be proud about that.

“I know. And one more thing!”

Mark urged him to go on.

“You have to wear your casual clothes. I don’t want to see you in any of your fancy business suits.”

_“Okay.”_

Jinyoung is excited, he really couldn’t wait to spend the day with Mark tomorrow.

“Okay, then it’s settled! Oh and also, I’m picking you up tomorrow!”

_“....What?”_

Mark is surprised about a lot of things about the conversation. He didn’t understand why Jinyoung is making him do all of those things, and why his boyfriend wanted to pick him up. It was always him — well actually, it was Bambam — that picks the younger man up, and Mark has no clue about why the sudden change is happening.

Jinyoung actually called at the most horrible time. The mafia leader was in a middle of a meeting with his organization, and they were all in chaos about the recent attack. Jackson was better after a good rest, and when he woke up, the first thing he did was apologize to Mark profusely for another failure. The elder didn’t care about that anymore, all he wanted to see was Jackson unharmed.

Word got out on how they were attacked, and Mark had been receiving endless amounts of inquiries from different mafia leaders. People began doubting his protection, spreading baseless lies about his organization. The constant demand and pestering from Mark is making him so stressed out, that he wanted to get away from everything for a little while, even for just a day. 

He didn’t expect that his wish would come true when Jinyoung’s caller id popped up on his phone.

The mafia leader is skeptical when Jinyoung wanted them to be alone together, but he was even more alarmed when the younger man wanted to pick him up. He didn’t want to agree for the sake of their safety, but his boyfriend sounded so excited that he has no willpower to say no.

“Okay, then. I’ll send you the address.”

_“Great! I’ll see you at 5AM then?”_

Mark is anxious, especially with what is happening around the mafia, but all he can think about right now is how happy Jinyoung must look like, and he couldn’t help but to be excited for the next day as well.

“See you.”

———

Jinyoung is successful in inviting Mark out, and he felt happy. He is now preparing to go out and meet Jaebeom, who asked him for help in a new song he was working on. Aside from being a full-time coffee shop owner, Jaebeom also part-times as a singer/songwriter and composer, under the pen name ‘ **Defsoul** ’. Jaebeom always wanted to pursue music, but didn’t have the opportunity to do so. Now that he has a stable job that’s going well, the elder has been uploading consistently on music platforms, and is gradually gaining recognition with his music. Jinyoung is the happiest whenever he hears people talk about his bestfriend’s music. 

The literature major arrived at Jaebeom’s studio, which was a 10 minute ride away from Offshore. It was an underground studio that the elder rented at a sweet price, and made the once shabby room into his own little sanctuary.

When he went in, he could already hear music blasting through the room. From the window, he could see two people bopping their heads along with the music. The said people noticed him come in, and one of them squealed so loud and jumped in front of Jinyoung.

“AHHHHHHHH! PARK GAE!”

The said man was about to wrap his arms around Jinyoung and squeeze him to death, when all of a sudden Jaebeom grabbed the man’s shoulders to stop him.

“Stop attacking him every time, Jackson!”

Jackson pouted and showed his irresistible puppy eyes at Jaebeom.

“But Beomie Hyung! I haven’t seen Park Gae in so long!”

Jaebeom scowled at that. Jackson was actually Jaebeom’s friend, they met at one rap battle event when Jaebeom wanted to work with someone who’s great at rapping. He saw Jackson’s performance that time and Jaebeom knew he’s the one he was looking for. They agreed to collab, and it went better than they had anticipated. A lot of people complimented their music, and they decided to create more songs together. Along the way, they became good friends. Jinyoung drops by the studio from time to time, where he first met Jackson. 

The man is eccentric, very loud and expressive, but he is a great artist and an even amazing friend.

Jinyoung took his place at the couch and properly looked at Jackson. He wasn’t expecting to see the amount of bandages the loud man has on his body.

“Jackson! Why do you look like that?” He exclaimed, absolutely horrified at how roughed up the other looked.

Jackson blinked for moment, then smiled sheepishly. 

“This idiot got into a fight. Said he beat up some annoying guys at the rap battle.”

It was Jaebeom who answered, clearly concerned about Jackson’s situation as well. The literature major examined the cuts and bruises that decorated Jackson’s body. He was wondering how the man managed to hurt himself so badly from just a single fight.

“I did well though! I beat up those guys so hard, they woke up the next day!”

Jaebeom, by instinct, reached forward to bump Jackson in the head. When he realized that the man is badly injured, he settled in glaring holes into the man’s forehead instead.

“Idiot! Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You look like you had it worse!”

Jinyoung chuckled at the scene. Every time he visits, it was always the same. He would witness the two bicker, Jaebeom doing the nagging and Jackson trying to pacify the other. It was amusing, even adorable at times.

The trio talked for a while, catching up on things and having fun. In no time, Jackson was up and getting ready to leave. He was there to record a rap part for Jaebeom’s song, and he finished it flawlessly. 

Jackson bid Jinyoung a goodbye hug and was about to do the same to Jaebeom, when the latter glared at him.

“Don’t even think about it.”

Jackson pouted, he pleaded using his infamous puppy eyes, and in no time, the big softie that is Jaebeom conceded. Feeling satisfied, Jackson skipped all the way to the front door to leave for real.

“Take care of yourself, idiot! Don’t go fighting with every people you meet!”

Jaebeom shouted as a last goodbye, voice laced with concern.

“Okay, honey! Be back soon!”

Jaebeom sighed as they heard the front door close, indicating that Jackson had finally left.

“Stupid idiot.”

Jinyoung smiled knowingly.

“So, what was it you needed help with?”

Jaebeom turned his attention to his computer. He opened a folder full of sample songs, which was named by its title and who sang the song. Jinyoung may be going blind, or was probably delusional, but he swore, he saw Youngjae’s name flashed in one of the files. 

“Can you sing this part? I tried doing it, but it just didn’t sound right.”

The thought was thrown off his mind when Jaebeom selected a file, and a soft, rnb music started to play. Jinyoung listened to it intently, trying to decipher what the melody wanted to portray. He could actually sing well, as he had been doing so ever since he was a child. Jinyoung thought about auditioning for entertainment companies, but his love for writing was stronger than his interest in music. So now, to preserve his voice, he helps sing for Jaebeom’s songs as a hobby. 

When he was done internalizing the music, Jaebeom gave him the lyrics and instructed him how the song is going to go. They recorded for a while, both of them wanting the song to be spotless. They were perfectionist, a trait that they both share so well.

3 hours later, the recording was finally done. Jaebeom was pleased with the outcome of the song, stating that the younger’s voice was well suited with the genre. They took a break for a while, sharing some cold beer and some snacks. Jinyoung stared at his bestfriend, thoughts running through his head. He had been meaning to ask Jaebeom about something, and now is the perfect moment to say it.

“Hyung, do you hate Mark?”

Jaebeom stopped sipping his beer and glanced at Jinyoung. He placed the drink down and turned his body to face the younger. 

“It’s not that. I just don’t like how you have to meet him in secret every time.”

Jinyoung sighed. Of course he told Jaebeom about their secret escapades. The man was a witness on how in love Jinyoung is with Mark. He saw how the younger would light up every time the latter would mention Mark when they go out and see each other. Jaebeom is happy for his best friend, but what doesn’t sit well with him is how nonchalant Jinyoung is when talking about having to secretly meet up with the CEO every single time.

Did he really not think about how weird it was?

“I already told you about that, didn’t I? That it was for my safety, so paparazzis don’t follow me everywhere I go.”

Of course Jaebeom knew, he just wasn’t buying that bullshit.

“Right, because of that. But, how do you know it’s not for something else?”

Jinyoung looked at him warily.

“What... do you mean?”

Jaebeom stared at him full of seriousness. He didn’t want to plant some doubts into his bestfriend’s head, but the boy is clearly too in love to question about the weird setup.

“I mean... what if he’s not completely honest with you? That he’s hiding you because of a completely different reason?”

Jinyoung didn’t know what to say, so Jaebeom continued.

“Do you even know him at all?”

With that, the younger felt offended. 

“Of course I do!” He exclaimed. 

Jaebeom raised his eyebrows, challenging Jinyoung head on.

“Oh yeah? Then let me ask you some questions. What’s his favorite color?”

Jinyoung scoffed, obviously thinking about how ridiculous this was. He wanted to show Jaebeom how well he knew Mark and shove it down his bestfriend’s throat, so he answered.

“Red.”

“Favorite movie genre?”

“Horror.”

Jinyoung’s going to pass this with flying colors.

“What’s his family like?”

Jinyoung frowned and crossed his arms.   
  
“He’s parents passed away a few years ago, and he has a brother.”

Jaebeom nodded.

“Okay, what’s his brother’s name?”

The younger man couldn’t answer. He didn’t know about that one.

Jaebeom caught on about Jinyoung’s cluelessness, and decided to bombard some more questions.

“Where does he live?”

Jinyoung was like a deer caught in the headlights. Even he was surprised that he couldn’t answer.

He realized, that in all the times they’ve gone out together, never did he once step foot in the older man’s home.

Jaebeom gave the benefit of the doubt. 

“Okay, what about hobbies? What does he do when he’s not working?”

Jinyoung perked up about that one. Mark mentioned that he loved swimming one time.

“Uh... swimming?”

“What else?”

Jinyoung raked his brain. What did Mark do when he’s not working?

Jaebeom sighed when the younger didn’t answer. He drank his beer until none of it was left then stood up to get another one. He noticed Jinyoung looking solemn.

“Look, nyoung. I’m just raising these concerns because I care about you. I don’t want you to get hurt, after all.”

Jinyoung looked up and stared his bestfriend dead in the eyes. 

“Mark would never hurt me.”

He was positive about that. Mark had never done anything to hurt him intentionally. He is a bit disturbed about what Jaebeom said, but he can always ask about that when he meets Mark. 

Jaebeom gave up, clearly his best friend is a love sick, stubborn fool who wouldn’t budge anytime soon.

“If you say so. But, I’m telling you to get to know him a bit more. You never know how true a person is until you witness it with your own two eyes.”

———

Jinyoung couldn’t sleep well that night. He kept tossing and turning, countless thoughts running through his mind. He honestly didn’t think about everything that Jaebeom mentioned, especially about Mark’s family. The latter did mention about his brother and parents at a conversation, but it was only once. After that, Mark never told him anything else, and Jinyoung never asked. He never even knew where Mark lived, because the older man never took him there as well. Heck, he doesn’t even know what Mark does in his free time!

Doubts started forming on Jinyoung’s head. Was Jaebeom right about him not knowing who his boyfriend really is?

As he thinks about it more, he can feel a headache incoming. He shooed away all the negative thoughts in his brain, focusing on what is going to happen the next day.

In a few hours, he’s going to see the love of his life again, and he’s determined to give Mark the best birthday gift ever.


	8. Chapter 8

Jinyoung got up and started getting ready at 3am. It was a bit early, but he couldn’t sleep a wink last night because he was overthinking things. He was anxious and scared that Mark wouldn’t like his plan, that maybe his boyfriend wouldn’t enjoy the day. He was so paranoid that he dozed off 30 minutes before his alarm rang. He tried to be as quiet as possible in moving around the dorm, as Youngjae is fast asleep and snoring loudly. His roommate went in pretty late last night, looking so exhausted and stressed out that Jinyoung felt pity on him. They didn’t get to talk much because as soon as the man changed into his sleeping clothes, he dropped down the bed and instantly fell asleep. 

The literature major washed up longer than he normally would, and looked for a nice outfit to wear in his closet. He did say to Mark to wear casual clothing, but for him, casual means plain, old hoodies and worn out jogging pants. He definitely does not want to look lame that day, so he opted for a cooler look than usual. He took his supreme shirt, and tucked it inside his ripped jeans, accentuating his hips which his boyfriend loves to look — and bite — at. He then paired it with a red supreme cap, and decent-looking checkered shoes. Jinyoung still had some time to spare, so he prepared a light breakfast to eat along the way, not forgetting to leave some for his sleeping roommate. At 4:30 AM, Jinyoung was off to pick up his beloved.

——

Mark didn’t take long to get ready.

He still had no clue what Jinyoung was planning, but he’s welcoming the fresh breath of air with open arms.

The few days have been pretty tense, his men were agitated about the whole fiasco. He didn’t know what was happening, and why it was happening in the first place. The insignia left on the wall by the perpetrators was another mystery to him. He had never seen that symbol before.

Does that mean he had gained new enemies without his knowledge? How did they even know when and where to strike to begin with?

Because of the incident, Mark worked non-stop to make sure all the other compounds was safe from another attack. The grenades was a huge loss for him, as it was about to be shipped to his investors in China. Now, not only did he have to secure the safety of his men, he also had to appease his displeased buyers because of what had happened.

Mark received a text from Jinyoung stating that he is near his place. The address he gave wasn’t his exact home address, but an apartment complex he is currently staying in on uptown Seoul. It was one of the buildings that he owned, and a place where he deemed safe for Jinyoung to show himself. Mark had informed Bambam about the younger man’s plans, and for the thai man that meant he was free of his bodyguard duties, so he was more than willing to let his boss go. Bambam also mentioned that Jinyoung might be planning to surprise him, to which Mark was clueless about.  
  
——

Jinyoung had arrived right on time, his car —- which he borrowed from Jaebeom because he was too broke to own one — is parked neatly besides a cool ass lamborghini. After he informed Mark that he is at the area, he used the spare time to observe the large building in front of him. He was astounded by the size of the apartment. He has never gone to this part of the city before, because he had no reason to. He has heard about how magnificent the area is, but he seeing it with his own eyes made a huge difference. It just hit him how stupidly rich his boyfriend is, and he couldn’t help but to feel a bit insecure about it.

A few minutes later, Jinyoung spotted a slender man walk out of the building and coming towards his car. It was Mark, looking so cuddly with his matching black hoodie and black cap. Jinyoung had never seen him in that kind of clothing before. Business suit Mark is cool and smoking hot, but cuddly, hoodie Mark is the definition of adorable and huggable. 

The elder opened the door and got inside the car. Jinyoung can’t help but to smile so widely. He‘s looking at Mark, checking him out from head to toe. The subject of his attention laughed at his actions, then reached forward to kiss his tempting lips.

“Take a picture, baby. It’ll last longer.”

Jinyoung didn’t say anything. Instead, he whipped up his trusty film camera and indeed, took a photo. Mark laughed at his boyfriend’s cuteness. 

“I know I look good, kitten. But can we go now? I’m curious why you wanted to go out at such an ungodly hour.”

Jinyoung smiled at the photo he took, feeling himself fall in love once again. He set the camera aside and started the car, ready to start the best day both of them will ever have.

——

Along the way, the younger revealed what his plan was. He wanted to bring Mark to his hometown, in Jinhae-gu. It would take about 4 hours to get there from Seoul. When Jinyoung first thought about what gift he wanted to give his lover, he couldn’t think of anything the older doesn’t already own. He wanted his present to be memorable and fun, so Jinyoung decided to take Mark to a road trip instead. He always wanted to travel with Mark, since Jinyoung loved going to different places. The reason why he chose his hometown was because it was a special place for the younger man, and he wanted Mark to see the place where he spent all of his childhood.

The first hour the couple was enjoying the moment, they opened the windows to let the fresh air seep in. Mark felt free, all the problems he had back home were kilometers away from him. He admired his surroundings, the sunrise greeting him with a sweet hello. Mark took Jinyoung’s camera and started taking photos. He took a picture of the rising sun, and the blurry roads they were currently passing in. As he’s admiring his handy work, Mark felt Jinyoung’s hand creep up his thigh. He smiled cheekily and placed his hand on top of the younger’s. He then lifted up the camera to capture the cute moment.

The second hour, they opened the stereo and let the music flow through, inducing their bodies into a state of relaxation. Jinyoung had to stop by some random area to pee, and when he went back he saw Mark sleeping and looking so vulnerable. The younger couldn’t help himself and took a photo, he‘s definitely going to develop that and stick it to his wall back at the dorm for inspiration.

By the third hour, Jinyoung could tell they were near his hometown. They stopped by a supermarket to replenish their empty stomachs. Mark was feeling especially playful, as he was continuously taking pictures of Jinyoung, who was deciding on what to buy for them to eat. It got to a point where the younger had to confiscate the camera because Mark wasn’t paying attention anymore.

They started with their trip again, this time it was Mark who was driving. They opened up the gps in order to prevent being lost. Jinyoung was feeding gummy bears on Mark, since the latter expressed that he needs to concentrate on driving. The literature major is humming along to the music and is enjoying the serenity when Mark spoke.

“Your hometown, what was it like?”

Jinyoung thought for a moment and recalled all his beautiful memories as a child. 

“It was an amazing place to grow up with. The people were friendly, and everyone knew each other. I remember as a kid, my mom used to let me play at the park and I would meet other kids there. That’s where I first met Jaebeom.”

_Jinyoung was 5 years old when he met Im Jaebeom. Even as a child, Jaebeom’s 8 year old appearance was feared by other children. They would always fear the older kid whenever he was dropped off by his mom. One day, as Jinyoung was with his playmates, he saw Jaebeom sitting on the swing set, all alone. He slowly approached the boy, and asked what his name was. The other kids warned him about Jaebeom, but he wasn’t afraid. As he expected, Jaebeom was nothing like what his playmates described him. He was funny, cool, and was Jinyoung’s role model growing up, even up to now. Being friends with Jaebeom had been the greatest decision he had ever made in his childhood. He knows that this friendship will last, their tombstones might end up next to each other in the end._

“That place must be very special to you.” Mark spoke.

Jinyoung hummed in reply. 

“It is. I wanted you to see it, the place where all my happy memories are located.”

After another hour of driving, the couple finally arrived at Jinhae-gu. It’s a nice and quiet town, and Jinyoung felt ecstatic to be back after so many years. Living in a big city is exhausting in some ways, so to see farmlands and small buildings is a treat for his eyes.

They maneuvered the area for a few more minutes, and Jinyoung took them to his family home. It's a bungalow house and currently, no one is living inside. His parents and siblings all moved to Seoul, but they would comeback here for special holidays. 

The place is well kept, as his parents recently stayed for a week. He‘s more than grateful for his mom for cleaning the house, thanking her in his head that he didn’t have to do it instead. 

Jinyoung looked at Mark, who was curiously looking around, obviously amazed by the entire situation. He couldn’t help but to feel amused by it, it was clear to him that Mark had never been to a house this small before. He looked so adorable, watching people pass by outside wearing simpleton clothes. 

“You must be sleepy, right? It’s 9am. We could rest for a while, since it’s still too early.” 

Jinyoung led Mark into his room, which was recently cleaned. Nostalgia hit Jinyoung so badly when he saw his bed. He remembers sneaking out in his nap time just to play with Jaebeom, how he hid under his blankets when he thought there was a monster under his bed and realized it was only his younger sister, who was sleeping underneath. The memories happened so long ago, but the feelings were still fresh in his heart.

“Your room looks nice, Jinyoungie.” 

Mark commented, looking at the different medals and diplomas placated at the wall. His attention was caught by a cute baby photo of Jinyoung riding a bicycle, and he can’t help but coo at the image.

“Awww... you were so cute when you were a baby!”

The younger quickly snatched the frame and hid it on his bedside table. He then pushed Mark to the bed and away from the embarrassment that his mom placed. 

“Get some sleep. I’ll wake you up when it’s time for lunch.” 

Jinyoung was about to leave when Mark grabbed his hands and dragged him to bed. Jinyoung stumbled and landed on Mark’s chest, breath getting heavy.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

Mark then wrapped his arms around Jinyoung, trapping him so he wouldn’t move. The younger man struggled to break free, but that didn’t help at all, as it only caused both of their bodies to rub against each other. The friction caught Jinyoung off guard, and he feel his face became hot.

“M-Mark... I need to buy groceries for lunch.”

Mark shook his head in reply, and only tightened his hold on his boyfriend.

“We can do that later. I missed you so much, you have no idea how badly I wanted to see you again.”

Mark then caressed Jinyoung’s face, his eyes screaming how much he had wanted Jinyoung. The younger man closed his eyes and gave in to the touch. He too, had missed Mark so badly.

Without any warning, Mark reached forward and captured the lips he had coveted for so long. They expressed with their bodies how much they mean to each other. Every kiss was handled with passion, every touch was mingled with love. Right now, the world didn’t matter, it was just them, and only them who did. 

——

Jinyoung snuck out of the room two hours later, after making sure that Mark wasn’t waking up any time soon. His original plan was to bake Mark a cake as a surprise while he was sleeping, but other things happened and he opted to buy a ready-made one instead. He didn’t want to look suspicious and take too long, so the only thing that he bought was the cake and hurried on home. He hid the cake in his parent’s room, as it was the only room that had a mini-fridge inside. He went to the living room to watch some tv to kill some time.

When the older man wasn’t planning on waking up any time soon, Jinyoung had no choice but to stir him awake. He went inside and saw Mark looking so dead. Jinyoung sat to the bed and started tickling his boyfriend awake.

“Wake up, sleepyhead. It’s almost 1pm. We need to go eat lunch.”

Mark groaned, turning his body away from Jinyoung, embracing the pillow tightly over his head.

Jinyoung tickled him again, and this time Mark was squirming, trying to stop his boyfriend from tickling him.

“Baby! Stop it!”

Jinyoung laughed and slapped Mark’s ass.

“Get up already! We’re going somewhere fun.”

After successfully waking the CEO, they both prepared to leave for town. Jinyoung proposed walking instead of taking the car, as every place in their town can be reached by walking. Also, they can further enjoy the scenery around them without rushing.

They intertwined their fingers together, happily walking side by side. Jinyoung is amused by how Mark would look around his surroundings, curiosity visible in his features. He would ask Jinyoung about the different areas they were passing in, and the younger man would answer his inquiries wholeheartedly. They walked for a few more minutes before reaching a small noodle restaurant. 

Jinyoung smiled so widely when he went in, the smell of fresh noodles hitting his nose. It was the restaurant he frequented to when he was a child, he remembers dragging his mom there every afternoon just to eat the delicious noodles. He spotted an old lady walking towards them, and he instantly ran towards her direction.

“Auntie!”

The lady perked up when she saw Jinyoung, her face brightening immediately. She let out a low laugh and wrapped her arms around the young man. 

They let go of each other, and the lady pressed her frail hands on Jinyoung’s cheek, admiring the features of the stunning man in front of him.

“You’ve grown so well, my boy.” She complimented.

Jinyoung smiled at the familiar touch. “You still look radiant as ever, Auntie.”

Mark quietly observed the touching reunion in front of him. Jinyoung is so well loved by the people around him. His Jinyoung that is charming, pure, and magnificent, Mark sometimes felt unworthy to be in his presence.

The younger turned around to get his attention. Mark could feel the lady’s questioning gaze on him. He stepped forward when Jinyoung reached for his hand, a sweet smile adorning his face.

“Auntie, this is my boyfriend, Mark Tuan. Mark, this is Auntie Min. The owner of this lovely restaurant.”

Mark held out his hand and Auntie Min took it. She was pleasantly surprised when Mark kissed her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mam.”

Auntie Min blushed at the dashing man. She then looked at Jinyoung with satisfaction.

“What a fine, young man. You’re lucky to have him, nyoung.”

Mark shook his head in protest. 

“On the contrary mam,” he snaked his arm around Jinyoung’s waist, pulling the man close to him. He looked at Jinyoung’s flushed features for a moment, and spoke with confidence.

“It’s actually me who’s the lucky one.”

——

The meal was light and cheerful, Jinyoung insisted that Auntie Min would dine with them so they could spend time again. Mark was more than happy to welcome the bright woman to their table, especially when she started talking about Jinyoung’s mischievous past. The younger man was embarrassed, but every time he sees Mark listening intently and would show his canine smile at his funny stories, he figured a little shame was well worth it.

Jinyoung wanted to cherish their moment, so he opened his camera and started taking pictures. He took a photo of Auntie Min, who was shy at first but posed so beautifully after being convinced by Mark. Next, he took Mark’s picture, who teased him by covering half of his face, revealing only his eyes. When it was his turn however, Mark became playful and leaned the camera so closely, that only Jinyoung’s adorable face was captured.

When the couple was done eating, they stayed for a bit and helped clean the place. Jinyoung was laughing so hard when he saw Mark trying to sweep the floor. He looked so awkward and so out of place, that Auntie Min had to teach him how to properly handle the broom. They bid their goodbyes at the old lady right after, feeling a bit sad that they needed to leave.

Auntie Min each gave them a warm hug and a kiss, happy that she spent time with amazing boys. 

“You take care of yourselves, yeah? And come visit me again soon!”

Jinyoung nodded in agreement.

Auntie Min turned her head towards Mark. “You come back here together with nyoung, okay? I would love to see you again.”

Mark was touched by what she said. Motherly love radiated all around her, and he suddenly remembered his late mother. She was so caring and so loving towards him. A pang of sadness hit his heart, its still painful for him to even remember his delicate mother. 

Mark took both of her hands and held it to his, already fond of the old lady even in such a short time of meeting her. 

“I’ll come back again.” He promised.

The couple left, feeling sentimental. Mark was absolutely grateful for their trip, as he felt himself let loose about everything. He’s aware that when he comes back, he’s going to become a leader once again. But right now, in this moment, he’s nothing but an ordinary man, a man who’s in love with the most amazing person he ever met.

They headed towards the park where Jinyoung had mentioned. It was bigger than he expected, and beyond the fences was a large, open field. Jinyoung told different stories about him and Jaebeom, and Mark listened intently to every word. He’s not the greatest at talking, he liked to listen instead. He could listen to Jinyoung’s voice all day, it‘s like a sweet lullaby to his ears. 

They took different pictures to preserve the moments. Jinyoung took Mark’s photo right next to an old ferris wheel, and Mark took Jinyoung’s one with his phone. They didn’t do much, they just talked about anything and everything that they could. They didn’t have to do anything extravagant, them just being next to each other and feeling each other’s presence was more than enough.

They continued roaming around the vicinity, Jinyoung letting his boyfriend try different cuisines around his hometown. Before they know it, the sun has already set. They agreed to go home after feeling their legs give way with too much walking. 

Instead of heading straight into the house, Jinyoung led Mark towards their backyard instead. The older man was confused, but complied nonetheless. The couple didn’t have to walk far, as Mark noticed lights flickering on top of a tree. As he assessed further, he realized that they were heading into a tree house. Jinyoung took the lead and climbed up, motioning for the older man to follow. Mark was pleasantly surprised to see how cozy the inside of the treehouse looked. It was very simple, a single mattress was inside, and it was filled with fairy lights. Pictures were decorated all over the wall, and Mark can tell that the people in it is Jinyoung’s family. 

“Stay here for a while okay? I’m going to get something inside the house.” Jinyoung stated.

Mark nodded, still examining the different photos in front of him.

Jinyoung dashed ahead and took the cake from the room. Mark did not have a clue about what he was about to do, which was a good thing for him. He took some lighter with him and some plates, and headed back towards the tree house, feeling giddy and excited.

Not long after Jinyoung left, Mark’s phone rang in his pocket. It’s Bambam, and suddenly Mark is reminded of the unfinished businesses he left at home. He took a deep breath and answered the call.

“What is it?” Mark started.

“It’s all done, boss. Your meeting with the China investors is scheduled to be on the day after tomorrow.”

Mark felt relieved that his investors agreed to talk to him after what happened. He couldn’t afford losing them, because that would definitely affect his business in mainland China. 

“How’s everything over there?” Mark asked.

Ever since the incident, Mark has been continuously monitoring his organization far more than he usually does. He can’t risk another surprise attack, so he’s been getting his men on high alert. 

“No problem here so far.” Bambam replied. 

“Are you sure? Nothing urgent to relay to me? Anyone suspicious roaming around our territory? Is everyone training well?” Mark prompted.

“Look hyung,” Bambam sighed. “Don’t worry about anything right now, okay? Just relax, and enjoy your time with Jinyoung hyung. You deserve a break, especially today.” 

The thai man may be Mark’s personal bodyguard, but his care for the leader goes beyond working relationship. He treats Mark as his own family, his own brother, and he would do anything to see the older man happy.

“What do you mean? What’s with today?”

Mark wasn’t able to hear Bambam’s reply because all of the sudden, the tree house went dark. Mark is instantly on high alert, his free hand reaching for his pocket knife. He went quiet, his mind in turmoil. Did someone follow him? Was he tracked along the way? His worries started drifting towards his lover. Jinyoung hasn’t come back yet. What if he was kidnapped? 

Mark couldn’t stay there any longer, and was about to head towards the door. He tensed up when he heard the door creaking open.

🎶 “Happy birthday to you...” 🎶 

The door opened widely and revealed a smiling Jinyoung, who is holding a chocolate cake with a single lit candle on top of it. 

Mark stopped dead on his tracks. He was speechless. All he could do was stare like an idiot.

Jinyoung stopped in front of Mark, amused at the older man’s expression. 

“Go on then, blow the candle!”

Mark blinked for a few seconds, then did as he was told. Jinyoung reached for the light switch, and the treehouse was illuminated once again. 

Jinyoung set the cake down, and then went up to look at the stunned man in front of him to greet him properly.

“Happy birthday, Mark.”

Mark didn’t know what to say. He completely forgot that it was his birthday. The past few days were rough on him, he couldn’t eat or sleep right because of so much stress. The days went by and everything went blurry for him, and whenever he’s in the middle of his work, special occasions like this one do not even cross his mind one bit.

Now he understands why Bambam was trying to get him to relax today. He too, knows that it’s Mark’s special day.

Now he also knows why Jinyoung wanted to take him out today.

Mark felt overwhelmed with feelings, he reached towards Jinyoung and engulfed him into a tight embrace. He was so moved, he felt so loved, so appreciated.

Ever since he became a leader in two different worlds, he has never celebrated his birthdays. He didn’t have the time to do it, even if Yugyeom wanted to. He was drowning in work everyday in order to maintain his position at the very top. Over time, he had gone accustomed to thinking that September 4 is just another working day in his calendar.

That is, until Park Jinyoung came into his life.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” 

Mark whispered. Gratefulness seeped into his every word, because he truly is lucky to have someone as amazing as Jinyoung.

“You’re welcome.” Jinyoung replied, happiness bubbling inside him.

——

“Is this the reason why you wanted to take me here? To surprise me?” Mark asked, digging into the delicious cake that his boyfriend gave him.

“Yup! I thought a road trip was a good idea. Did you like it?” Jinyoung asked, feeling worried that his gift was a little underwhelming for Mark.

“Like it? I LOVE IT! This is the best trip I ever had!” The older man replied, smiling widely.

Jinyoung felt accomplished, happy that his efforts were not in vain.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” 

Jinyoung sat up and took a black box from his back pocket. He then gave the box for Mark to open.

Mark set his fork down and dusted his hands free of cake smudges. He examined the little box, already feeling the weight of the present. When he opened it, he saw a couple necklace. The design was beautiful, a wing was decorated in the middle with different colors, one in black and one in gold. Surrounding the wing were the words

“OUR LOVE WILL LAST FOREVER” 

“I saw these when I was looking for something to get you. It was the last pair on the store, and it looked so pretty on the display that I bought it without thinking twice.”

Jinyoung fell in love with the couple necklace when he first saw it in the display. He thought that the necklaces would complete his gift for his boyfriend. It cost more than what he expected, but if the present can put a smile on Mark’s angelic face, then he would have no problem with eating unhealthy amounts of instant ramen for a couple of weeks.

The older man took the black wing one, and was absolutely captivated by it. He looked at Jinyoung, who in turn was quietly observing his reactions.

“Jinyoung, you didn’t have to.” 

Jinyoung shook his head in disagreement. “I do. You were always the one giving me something, now it’s my turn to do the same.”

The younger took the necklace from Mark’s hands and put it on for him. He was pleased to see that the necklace looked magical on the older man. 

“It looks great on you.”

Mark then did the same. He took the gold necklace and proceeded to put it on Jinyoung. 

“Any reason why you picked these?” Mark inquired.

Jinyoung contemplated, fidgeting the necklace in his fingers. “An angel has two wings, right? It couldn’t fly if one is missing. I figured, that its just like me. Whenever I’m with you, I feel like I can do anything. I can soar high and I wouldn’t feel scared of falling down, because you’re here to complete me. You’re my other half, and you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Mark isn’t usually an emotional person, but He couldn’t help the tears well up from his eyes. To hide it, he went in for a hug again. He buried his head deep into Jinyoung’s neck, inhaling the masculine scent he loves so much.

“I don’t deserve you.” 

Mark truly thinks that. He is people’s worst nightmare; he kills, he tortures, he destroys. He has been like that ever since he was a child, raised to become a monster that he is now. He’s merciless towards his enemies, he wouldn’t even bat an eyelash even if someone drops dead in front of him.

So why is a monster like him together with someone like Park Jinyoung?

“I love you.” Jinyoung whispered.

Mark started kissing Jinyoung’s neck, tracing from his adam’s apple, up to his sharp jaw, and finally landing on his luscious lips. He kissed, again and again, addicted and wanting more.

“I love you too.” Mark replied, never stopping his passionate kisses.

The night ended perfectly, they were together in each other’s arms, both of them not letting go, and Mark couldn’t think of a better way of spending his birthday than this.

——

Jinyoung woke up early to prepare their breakfast. He got up, stretched for a bit, and kissed his boyfriend’s cute forehead before leaving the treehouse. They both agreed to spend the night there, because they were too lazy to move anywhere else. He planned to make an American style breakfast, some bacon and eggs that his boyfriend loves to devour.

He went back to the main house and proceeded to do his magic in the kitchen. While waiting for the food to cook, Jinyoung also made coffee for both of them. He whipped up his phone and browsed through his gallery, smiling at the memories they made yesterday. He clicked on the recent photo that they had, the one they took on the treehouse. Jinyoung felt giddy about the photo, so he decided to use it as his phone wallpaper.

“Smells magical in here.”

Jinyoung turned around and saw Mark coming towards him, looking adorable with his messy bed hair. Mark came closer and gave him a warm embrace and a light kiss on the forehead. 

“Good morning, beautiful.”

Jinyoung thought about how domestic they both look, and he could get used to it everyday.

Mark took a seat in front of the counter, and Jinyoung poured him some coffee. While the younger man was cooking, Mark’s phone suddenly rang. It was Bambam, and Mark was not in the waking mood to answer it yet. He hopes his bodyguard can get what he was trying to do, and thankfully for him, the thai sent him a message right after calling.

‘Boss, your plane leaves tonight.’

Mark sighed. Reality hit him hard once again.

“Who called?” Jinyoung asked, flipping the eggs to make sure the other side isn’t burned.

“Huh? Oh, it was my brother.” Mark replied nonchalantly, texting an ‘okay’ towards his bodyguard.

Mark didn’t notice that Jinyoung stopped what he was doing, and is quietly observing him. 

“Oh yeah, about that. Where did you say he’s at again?”

Mark looked up and stared at Jinyoung.

“He’s... in LA. Studying law.”

“What’s his name? I don’t think I recalled you telling me that.”

“It’s Yu—-“ he bit his tongue, internally cursing at himself for almost saying Yugyeom’s name. “——ri.”

“Yuri?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm. Sounds like a girl’s name.”

Mark cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. He gets that a lot.”

 _‘Sorry, gyeomie.’_ The elder thought.

Jinyoung prepared their plates and laid down their food. They were quietly eating, enjoying the last of moments of their peaceful morning together before heading back to Seoul.

“I’m leaving for a business trip tonight, Jinyoungie.”

Mark spoke. Jinyoung looked up from his plate and stared at Mark, who was cutting his bacon so painfully slow.

“To where?” Jinyoung asked.

“China.”

Jinyoung nodded. His boyfriend is a businessman, so overseas trips are no surprise for him. 

“When will you be back?”

Mark was done with his meal, and Jinyoung noticed that he was fidgeting in his seat, nervous about something.

“A week? 3 weeks? I’m not sure yet.”

Jinyoung also finished his food, but none of them took the initiative to leave the table.

“Okay. Just text me once you’ve landed there.” Jinyoung replied, thinking nothing about the situation.

“...I’m not sure I’ll be able to contact you at all.”

The younger man frowned with that statement. 

“Why not?”

“It’s not safe.”

Jinyoung blinked repeatedly, confused by Mark’s vague answer. Something stirred up inside him, and he snapped.

“What do you mean it’s not safe? So you can’t shoot me a quick ‘I’m here’ at all? Are you going to ghost me for the next 3 weeks that you’re away?” 

The younger did not like what he just heard. He doesn’t get why the older man can’t give him a single call or a text while he’s on another country. How dangerous is his trip going to be, if he can’t afford to talk to Jinyoung at all?

“Jinyoung, I—“ Mark wasn’t able to speak, because the younger man was not done talking.

“What’s your business trip even about? Is it so important that you can’t talk to anyone else? Will your phone be confiscated or something?”

Mark sighed in frustration. He did not expect Jinyoung’s reaction at all. The man couldn’t be blamed though, if your boyfriend suddenly tells you that he’s leaving for another country for a while and couldn’t speak to you at all in the whole trip, there’s no doubt that you’d be pissed off as well. 

“It’s not that,” Mark started, speaking calmly to try to appease the agitated man. “I just can’t guarantee that I’ll have time to talk, since I’ll be in meetings every single day.”

Which is true. Mark did have consecutive meetings scheduled with his trip. Not only will he meet and re-negotiate with his investors, he needs to meet with other chinese mafias to strengthen his alliances. The most important one, however, will his meeting with the forefathers of his organization.

Mark can tell that Jinyoung is still upset, so he inched closer to his boyfriend and gently took his hand. 

“I’m sorry if I made you upset, baby. It’s just that, these meetings are really important. They require my attention 24/7.” 

Jinyoung was looking down, not meeting Mark in the eyes. The younger man knows he shouldn’t be this childish, but he couldn’t stop thinking about what Jaebeom told him the last time. He didn’t know a whole lot about Mark’s business, or what he does in his free time. Now, he didn’t know why Mark can’t contact him, or why he needed to leave in the first place.

The CEO is shrouded with mystery, and Jinyoung never realized it until now.

“I’ll try, okay? If I have a spare time, I’ll definitely contact you. Please, don’t be upset with me.” 

Jinyoung took a peek at Mark’s face, and his heartstrings were pulled at how apologetic his boyfriend looked. With that face, Jinyoung knew he couldn’t stay mad for long. He sighed, kissing the older man’s knuckles, which was locked firmly with his own hand. 

He’s still a bit mad, and definitely upset, but he can’t resist Mark even if he tried.

“I’ll make it up to you, when I come back.”

As soon as Jinyoung heard that, an idea popped into his mind.

“You’ll be here for my birthday, right?” Jinyoung asked. “I’m having a small party at Jaebeom’s shop, and I want you to be there.” 

Jinyoung didn’t know where that came from. He never planned to throw a party for his birthday. He just wanted to spend that day quietly, and possibly celebrate with Mark, but something changed his mind. He didn’t want his friends and family to be kept in the dark on who he’s dating anymore. He wants to come clean. He already told Auntie Min, so why shouldn’t he do the same with others?

So, on September 22, Jinyoung decided that he’s going to officially introduce Mark to everyone as his boyfriend. 

When Mark isn’t answering, Jinyoung prodded him further. He won’t take no for an answer, not this time. 

“You want to make it up to me right? Show up at my party, and I can let all of this go without asking you anymore questions.”

Mark didn’t know what to say. He’s aware about what Jinyoung is trying to do, but he couldn’t help to be anxious about it. There’s too many risks, it could seriously jeopardize their safeties if they’re not careful. The younger man is boring holes deep into his soul with his stare, and Mark could tell that Jinyoung really wanted him to be a part of his special day. It would break Jinyoung’s heart if Mark were to deny his request.

He tightened his hold on his boyfriend, steeling himself on what he’s about to say.

“I’ll be there. I promise.”

Mark answered, worries clouding his mind and heart. He might regret that answer later, but right now, all he needs to see is his loving boyfriend’s smile decorating his face. He needs to see something beautiful one more time, before he is thrown back into a world of darkness that he could never get himself out of. 


	9. Chapter 9

The plane ride was long and uneventful. 

Mark didn’t have time to rest, because as soon as they came back from Jinhae-gu the CEO was thrown right back unto business. His luggage has been prepared and his documents secured for his trip to China by Bambam, who made sure that Mark didn’t have to worry about anything else besides showing up. The elder is nothing but grateful for his hard work.

Yugyeom was a sweetheart as well, because before Mark left he prepared a small meal as a late celebration for Mark’s birthday. Jackson was present as well, since the eccentric man won’t be able to accompany their leader due to obligations tying him up in Seoul. 

Even on the plane, Mark is still going through some documents. The Yang Enterprises plans to expand their influence throughout Europe, and various companies in the country has been communicating with them for a possible partnership. 

“Boss, we’re almost at Hong Kong.” Bambam announced. 

Mark sighed. He didn’t even manage to sleep even for just a few minutes.

He was ushered through the VIP exit right after the plane landed. A black SUV welcomed him, and a familiar face is standing in front of it.

“Welcome back to China, Yi En.” The man bowed. Mark smiled cheekily, approaching the suited man while laughing.

“Come on. Don’t be so stiff, Jinwoon hyung. Your age is showing.”

The man named Jinwoon laughed heartily and went in for a warm hug. He also acknowledged Bambam’s presence, and the trio went inside the car to head to the safe house where Mark would be staying for the entire trip. 

“How’s everyone back at Seoul? Is Jackson doing well?” Jinwoon asked, his eyes locked on the road in front of him. 

“Oh, you know. Jackson is still Jackson.” Bambam replied, laughing quietly to himself while sending funny memes to Yugyeom on his phone. 

Jinwoon hummed. “Is he planning to visit China anytime soon?”

Bambam and Mark are quiet, already expecting the question to be raised by their hyung. 

“I don’t think so, hyung.” The leader sighed. “I tried convincing him to come with us, but he refuses to show himself here.”

Ever since Jackson set foot on Seoul, he hasn’t been back to his hometown in China. Even after joining Tiger Lily and receiving generous amount of payment for his work, the loud man never thought about going back to Hong Kong, even after collecting enough money to buy himself roundtrip tickets. Mark at one moment asked about his reasons in refusing, and Jackson who was cleaning his weapons at that time stopped what he was doing. He looked at Mark and replied, 

“I’m still not the person that my family would be proud of. I’ll only return if I can look at them in the eyes and confidently say that ‘I made it.’ ”

It was the first time that Mark had seen Jackson become so serious, and he knew at that moment that his comrade would do anything to achieve his dream, and to make his family acknowledge what he wants to become.

“Well, I hope he reconsiders in the future.” Jinwoon commented. “I’m sure his family would love to see him again.”

Jinwoon met Jackson before he was assigned to China, and the younger would always talk to him about the family that he left behind. He remembers how Jackson’s eyes would light up at the mention of his parents and siblings, so Jinwoon knows how much he must miss them.

Mark silently agreed. He directed his gaze upon the night lights of China, thinking about the family he once had. He never had much to begin with, because before Yugyeom was adopted, he did not have any siblings. So as an only child, he bore the responsibility as his father’s heir. 

Right from the very beginning, his path was chosen for him.

He grew up in a harsh environment; everyday was a struggle, and for the longest time he became numb inside, forgetting the feeling of being cared for and being loved by someone.

He never expected that all those feelings would return when he met a certain raven-haired man.

Mark took out his phone and went to his contacts. He promised Jinyoung that he would message him right after he landed, and he’s not the type to break any of his promises.

_‘Just arrived in China. I’m heading to the house now. Missing you already.’_

Not long after sending the text, Mark received a reply, almost as if the younger man is on his phone, waiting for him to text first. 

_‘That’s good. Rest well, okay? I miss you too. Come back to me soon.’_

Mark can feel his heart flutter with joy, loving the feeling that someone is waiting for his return.

“Yi En, I heard about what happened at Apgujeong.”

The mood inside the car instantly shifted. Mark knows he couldn’t stop the news from spreading, but it’s still annoying how much attention the incident got over the past few days.

“I’ll try to fix it. The investors were good friends with my father, so hopefully they’ll let this one slide.”

“I hope so too. The men are worried, Yi En. Ever since the news spread, we’ve been getting provoked by other organizations. Maybe they thought that if an unknown group can plan a surprise attack on you and succeed, they can do it too.”

Mark knew it was coming. Tiger Lily is one of the most secured mafia group in the world, and people have been itching to bring the organization down. They’re an impenetrable force to be reckoned with, and for years no one came close in causing damage to them. Now that the balance has been shifted and a small window of opportunity is opened, other groups are now making their move. Cowards who wouldn’t dare face him directly would resort to attacking his smaller branches, hoping to overthrow his influence in bits and pieces. Of course, Mark wouldn’t let it happen. He’s invested too much of his life in this just to let it all crumble down. He’s going to slam that window shut right in front of everyone’s faces.

“You don’t have to worry about anything, hyung.” Mark reassured. “I’ll be meeting everyone before my trip ends. I just need you to trust me.” 

——

They had finally reached the residential area where Mark and Bambam would be staying. It is one of the Tuan’s oldest home; it’s the place where Mark’s father grew up and learned the ropes of the Mafia world. It’s been a while since he stepped foot on the house. The last time that he did was when his father was lying on his deathbed, telling a twenty-two old Mark to not disappoint him. Five years later here he is, one of the most successful man in the entire business and mafia world.

Mark bid goodnight to Bambam and headed up to his old room on the second floor. He opened his luggage to pick his night clothes   
and went straight to the showers to freshen up so he could rest as soon as possible. He needs the energy to go through his schedule tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. Just thinking about the things he needs to do is making him more exhausted than he already is.

After showering, he sat on his bed and skimmed through the deals that he needed for tomorrow’s meeting with the investors. He needs to offer a better transaction to cover up the losses that the organization is currently dealing with. Mark is confident about his negotiation skills, and hopefully, he can woe his investors like he does with his other business partners.

As he is reading, he felt his phone buzz beside him. He looked at the caller id and felt a smile creep up on his face. He placed the documents down and hit the answer button.

“You miss me that much, huh?” 

Mark asked, his full attention given to the person behind the other end.

_“You never texted me if you arrived safely at your home. I got worried.”_

Mark plopped his body on the King-sized bed, staring at the ceiling and basking in the sweet voice he is currently hearing. 

“I forgot.” He replied sheepishly. “I’m at my place, Jinyoungie. Sorry if I got you worried.”

He could hear Jinyoung sigh on the other end, relief audible in his voice. _“That’s good.”_

Mark smiled. “You know, I love it when you worry about me so much. It makes me feel so special.”

Jinyoung scoffed. 

_“You ARE special to me. Idiot.”_

Mark laughed, already imagining his boyfriend’s lips pouting at his teasing. It makes him miss the younger man’s presence even more.

_“So? What’s your agenda for tomorrow?”_

Mark glanced at the documents currently scattered around his bed. He picked one up, did a once-over, and placed it back down again. He then sighed and sat up. 

“I’ll be meeting with some investors tomorrow. It’s probably going to last the entire day, since we’ve got some heavy stuffs to talk about.”

Jinyoung hummed. Mark could hear the sounds of keyboard continuously being tapped on the other end. 

“What about you? are you currently working on your novel?”

Jinyoung hummed, meaning to say yes to Mark’s question. _“I’m editing some phrases out and changing it to a better one. I’m almost done, so hopefully I could pass before the deadline.”_

“You can do it. I believe in you, kitten.” Mark cheered.

A knock on Mark’s door interrupted their conversation. The door opened and revealed Bambam, holding a stack of paper in his hands. Mark sighed at the sight.

“Babe, I’m sorry but I have to go. I need to sort through some more documents to prepare for tomorrow.” 

Mark heard the keyboard tapping stop. It went quiet for a few seconds before Jinyoung spoke. 

_“O-oh. Okay then. I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?”_ He asked.

Mark motioned for Bambam to come in and sit down at the bean bag. He wanted to talk with Jinyoung some more, but his business unfortunately waits for no man. 

“No, no you didn’t. I’ll talk to you again soon, okay?” Mark answered. “Take care of yourself. I can’t wait to see you again.”

 _“...me too. I miss you so much already.”_  
Mark could hear the longing in the younger man’s voice, and he can’t help but feel the same. _“I’ll see you soon.”_

They bid their ‘I love you’ to each other before ending the call. Even without looking at the thai man, Mark can tell that Bambam is looking at him with a mischievous expression.

“Hyung, do you know that your voice changes every time you talk to Jinyoung hyung?” 

Mark raised his eyebrows and stared at Bambam incredulously. 

The elder’s confused expression ignited Bambam’s playfulness, so he stood up and placed his phone in his ear, acting as if he’s talking to someone else. 

“I’ll talk to you soon, okay? I can’t wait to see you again. I love you.” 

Bambam imitated with a high pitched voice, looking dreamily and sighing lovingly. Mark blushed in embarrassment and threw the closest pillow he owns.

“I DO NOT SOUND LIKE THAT!”

The younger easily dodged the attack and laughed, still mocking his leader in his inner thoughts. Mark knew what he was thinking and grabbed another pillow, which successfully hit the younger man straight in the face. Once the laughter and teasing died down, Bambam stood up and handed the papers to Mark. 

“Here’s the photocopies of the documents that you needed. It’s all complete. Your meeting starts at 8am tomorrow. I suggest you sleep soon so you’ll be prepared to face the investor’s wrath.”

The mafia leader sighed for the nth time that night and reluctantly took the papers, muttering a small ‘thank you’ for Bambam’s efforts. The boy waved his hand and headed towards the door to leave and also have his rest. Mark sorted through the documents to make sure nothing gets left behind and placed it all in his suitcase. He then dived head first into his comfy bed, letting the exhaustion lull him to his well-needed sleep. 

——

8am arrived like a thief in the night, coming without warning and catching Mark off guard. Bambam repeatedly banged on the older man’s door, yelling at him to “GET UP ASAP!” or else he’ll be screwed in the worst possible way. Mark cursed himself repeatedly for oversleeping before taking the fastest shower in his lifetime—— a record breaking time of two minutes and thirty seconds. Thank heavens he already prepared his suit and documents in advanced, because as soon as he stepped out of the room, they left the house in a blink of an eye. 

Thank God for ferraris too, because they arrived at the meeting with five minutes to spare.

Mark is greeted by the investor’s secretary and is told to wait for a while. He took that time to compose himself and steel his nerves on what’s about to come. Bambam looked nervous too, sharing the heavy feeling with him. Few minutes later, the same secretary came back into the room they were currently staying in.

“Master Yi En, they’re ready for you.”

Mark took a deep breath and stood up. He fixed himself as neatly as possible and changed his demeanor. He felt a hand tap his shoulder. Bambam smiled, sending waves of encouragement towards the mafia leader.

“Hyung, you’ll do great. Goodluck!” 

Mark smiled and nodded in response. He’s glad that the younger man is with him. If he’s alone, he’s sure to be more nervous than he already is. At least he has someone who can take the edge off him a bit.

The leader followed the secretary and went inside the meeting room. Bambam isn’t allowed inside, so he has to stay by the door and wait until everything is over. As soon as he stepped inside the room, Mark could feel the predatory gazes on him by everyone. He couldn’t let that stir his composure, so he held his chin up and walk even straighter, letting the investors know that he’s confident and he’s prepared.

Mark took the seat right at the middle of the long table, and instead of sitting he deeply bowed as respect to everyone, since he is the youngest one of the bunch. 

“It’s a pleasure seeing everyone again.” 

Mark spoke, letting his cantonese flow freely from his tongue. He’s been taught many languages ever since he was a child, so he could converse and transact to almost every nation he could think of. His father made sure that he was well-educated and ready to take over the world.

“I could say the same, but that’s not the case, is it Yi En?” Jiaolong, the head of the board stated. “Tiger Lily is supposed to provide Qiao Si Triad the grenades that were ordered last month. Five days have passed and not even one of it arrived. Care to explain?”

Mark knew they were the straight-to-the- point kind of people, and good thing he prepared for it beforehand. 

“As you all are aware, there was an incident that happened back in Seoul. Unfortunately, more than 80% of the goods were taken. It was a planned attack, and as shameful as it may sound, we did not anticipate it at all.”

Murmurs started all around the room. People started whispering and talking amongst themselves, staring at Mark with distrustful eyes. He hated being looked down at, but he has no choice but to push through, hoping to finish everything as fast as possible.

Wang Lei, one of the members spoke. “Oh yes, we heard about that. It was an unfortunate situation, really. I’m curious though,” he looked at Mark inquiringly. “Do you know who attacked you?”

“We’re still looking for possible groups capable of making such an attack.” Mark stated. “I’m confident we’ll be able to capture then soon.”

“Hmph. Tiger Lily boasts to having one of the best securities in the world before. Now, you get attacked once and everything gets stolen? What a downhill.” One of the members at the very end of the long table scoffed. 

Mark’s ears perked up at that. He couldn’t let his temper get the best of him, so he kept his emotions in check and replied as calmly as possible. “Secured as we are, there will be times that attacks will get the best of us. We learned it this time, and preparations have been made. That will be the last time an attack will catch us off guard.” 

“If your father’s still alive, nothing like this would ever happen.”

Mark’s heart thundered loudly against his chest. It was clear that they were mocking his authority to rule. He can feel his anger hanging at the edge of his throat, and he can tell that they were waiting for him to snap as well. These investors greatly favored his father, and ever since he stepped up to take over, they have expressed their dislike against him. Maybe because they didn’t like how Mark is slowly creating his own way of leading the organization, which is way too different from his father’s ways. They are too old fashioned to even acknowledge the change that Mark is trying to impose.

As much as the leader wanted to say ‘Fuck you’ to everyone present, the investors were too important to let go. They have connections all over China, so their power is as widespread as theirs. He couldn’t say anything remotely rude that can possibly break their partnership, but he couldn’t let them judge his leadership as well. 

“Gentlemen,” Mark started, confidence oozing out of his voice. “My father entrusted me Tiger Lily because he saw me worthy of leading them. I handled the organization for the past four years, I made it rise up to where it is now.” 

The mafia leader made his way around the table, pacing slowly and making sure to look at everyone in the eye. As he observed their mocking gazes however, he pondered if they deserved to be taught a lesson after all.

“There’s no doubt in my mind that I am capable of handling business. Violence is not my top choice in handling this predicament, but in order to make everyone rest easy, everything will be taken cared of mafia-style.” 

Mark’s expression slowly darkened. He wanted to let everyone see how much control he have over them. The air turned ice cold, and everyone felt chills creeping up their spines.

“Everyone responsible for stealing your goods and attacking my territory will be—.” Mark stopped at one end and slammed his hands against the table, right in front of the person who spoke about his father. The said person flinched, gulping the saliva currently stuck in his throat. 

“... _eliminated_.” 

Nobody dared say anything. Mark’s dominant aura radiated throughout the room. The investors won’t admit it aloud, but at that moment, they felt as if it was the feared Raymond Tuan who was talking in front of them. 

Mark strutted back into his original position, acting as if he didn’t just low key intimidate everyone present.

“So,” he cooly started. This time, the investors listened closely. “I hope you put your trust in me. The damage had already been done, but I propose a better deal to everyone. I’m sure you will all be pleased to hear it.”

——

As expected, the meeting lasted for an entire day, they only took breaks to eat and chatter idly. Mark successfully closed a new deal; Tiger Lily would provide machinery that the Qiao Si Triad are lacking in, and they would also aid in spreading the Triad’s reach in western countries, in the areas where Tiger Lily is most influential. Mark made sure to explain the proposal thoroughly, not leaving out even the tiniest detail. At 4pm, the meeting finally ended, and Mark left the room exhausted but fully satisfied.

Bambam stood up from where he was dozing off, and greeted the older man. 

“Damn boss, you look like the undead.”

Mark sighed in resignation and handed his briefcase to to the younger man. “I look and feel like it Bam, but the deal’s been made.”

Bambam pat his shoulder in pity, and they both headed towards the car to finally leave the building they were holed in for pretty much the whole day. 

“I’m soooo hungry!” 

Bambam whined, and Mark nodded in agreement. He loosened his navy blue tie and unbuttoned his dress shirt, feeling relaxed that the day’s activities are over. 

“Boss, I got a call from the secretary of WayV. She asked if we can move the thursday meeting to tomorrow, since their CEO needs to attend a sudden overseas trip.”

“Aren’t we supposed to meet that fashion company tomorrow? T-ARA?”

“Yes, that’s for the morning. WayV plans to meet with you in the afternoon.”

Mark sighed yet again. His China trip isn’t just for his mafia business after all, but it’s also for Yang Enterprises. He’s constantly looking for new business ventures, and various companies are already lining up, waiting for their turn to meet up and possibly close a deal with him. 

“Tell them I said okay.” Mark shrugged. “I’ll meet them at 2pm sharp tomorrow.”

Bambam salutes and turned on the stereo, entertaining Mark with his random screeches and sad attempts of singing, until they finally reached their home.

——

Couple days went by and Mark has been coming and going into various meetings, getting up early in the morning and staying up late at night. He needs to finalize everything for the Yang Enterprises first before he continues on to his Tiger Lily business. He has picked a handful of potential companies that he can partner with, all he needs to do now is to present those to his board of directors when he comes back to Korea. 

Once he concluded his Yang Transactions to be over, he can finally give his full attention to Tiger Lily. The first step had been complete. Now, the next one would be strengthening his alliances with Chinese Mafia groups. They’re on their way to meet up with 2PM, one of the first groups that Mark allied with in his first year as a leader. 2PM proved to be a formidable companion, and over the years they became good friends with the members as well. Mark wanted to meet with them first before going to anyone else.

When they arrived, they were greeted with warm pleasantries. Bambam felt especially happy seeing an old companion who also originated from Thailand, named Nickhun. Mark greeted everyone else, and shook hands with the group’s leader and oldest member, JunK.

“It’s been a while, Yi En.” JunK stated, smiling fondly at the Tiger Lily mafia leader.

“Indeed, hyung. How’s everyone?” Mark asked.

JunK lead them into a large room, the members and Bambam following suit. Mark sat besides JunK, and Bambam besides Nickhun. The young bodyguard is supposed to stand behind Mark, but they consider 2PM as an extended family, so all guards are down whenever they’re with the group. 

“Well, we heard about what happened to your compound in Seoul.” JunK started. “It’s been the talk amongst the underground lately.”

Mark sighed. “It’s still a mystery, hyung. Jackson informed me that the attackers knew where to go. They knew where the explosives were hidden, and they knew the passages to go into. They completely took my men by surprise.”

“Hm. Did you consider a mole inside your organization?” Taecyeon, one of the members spoke. 

Mark furrowed his eyebrows. “I did. I thoroughly checked everyone, but whoever tipped the attacker has either escaped my premises, or is most likely dead.”

After the fiasco ended, Mark ordered for a lockdown throughout his territory in Seoul. No one left their areas while Mark searched everyone. He personally interrogated those who were strongly suspected, and tried to get to the bottom of the incident as fast as possible. He found out that they did have moles inside, but when Mark and his handful of trusted men tried to track those people down, they were nowhere to be found. The moles are smart enough to know that if they were ever get caught, they’re as good as dead.

“We also found this on one of the walls of the compound. We’re hoping that you may know something about it?” Bambam handed out a picture of the unfamiliar insignia that Mark saw before. The members passed the photo around, confusion also evident on their features. The photo finally landed to JunK, and he gazed at the insignia long and hard before speaking.

“I haven’t seen this kind of symbol before, Yi En. It’s a Chinese character, but I can’t be so sure of that. What I do know is that, whoever you’re dealing with may either be a new enemy, or an old one.”

“What do you mean by an old one?” Mark asked.

“It may be one of the organizations your father had an issue with.” JunK replied.

Mark didn’t think of that one. His father was a dictator; he wouldn’t hesitate to destroy anyone who blocks his path for world domination. He was unforgiving, and he was ruthless. He has made a lot of enemies in his time, and it would make sense if one of those groups would try to fight back as revenge.

“I need your help with this, hyung.” Mark asked.

JunK nodded. “You have our support. We’ll help you find out who this is.”

Mark thanked JunK and the rest of the group for their loyalty. They stayed for a while to catch up on things and to talk more about business and future plans. They left late at night, bidding goodbyes and well wishes to each other.

“If JunK hyung thinks it’s an old enemy of your father, Who do you think it could be, boss?” Bambam inquired, starting the car and heading towards their home.

“I don’t know, Bam. He has more enemies than allies. Anyone could be behind it. All we need to do now is to find out who it is before they cause any more damage to us.”

Bambam nodded in agreement. “You’re meeting with few more groups in the next week, then we’ll be heading to our compounds all over China. They’ve been itching to know the whole story from you.”

Mark groaned. 

“When will these meetings end?” 

He’s been at it ever since he stepped foot on China, and his body is begging for him to rest and eat more. But, his responsibilities are screaming at him to suck it all up and power through everything.

“As long as you’re our leader hyung, I don’t think it will ever end.” Bambam responded. He’s pretty tired as well, but he knows it’s nothing compared to what his hyung is going through. 

The next week things were busier than before. Mark and Bambam went over different alliances and strengthened their bonds. They went and checked every place that Tiger Lily owns, reinforcing Mark’s leadership and informing everyone to not lose faith in him, and to always be on guard for any attacks. The trip is almost coming to an end, and Mark couldn’t wait to go back home to Seoul and see Jinyoung again. He’s been so busy the past two weeks that he couldn’t answer all of Jinyoung’s calls and texts, and he feels especially guilty about it, since he did promise the younger man that he would try to contact him more. He knows that Jinyoung wanted to talk to him, but he just couldn’t because he’s been drowning in his work. He decided that he would make it up to the younger when he comes back. His full, undivided attention would be on his boyfriend, and no one else.

But before all that, he needs to finish one last thing. He needs to meet with the forefathers of The Tiger Lily organization. They’re the older generation of leaders, serving as the guardians for the current and future Leader. It’s been a tradition to present oneself to them as a form of respect, and the last time that Mark met them was when his father introduced him to them as his successor.

He’s going there to show respect, but hopefully he can find answers as well.

“Boss, you ready?” Bambam peeked through the door of Mark’s room.

Mark fixed his tie one more time, checking his appearance and seeing if everything is in place.

“Ready.” 

They arrived at exactly 3pm, at a large mansion with the Tiger Lily crest adorning the walls of the place. Guards surrounded the entire area, and all of them bowed in respect as soon as they saw Mark.

Bambam was left outside yet again, and the leader is escorted to another large room. When he arrived, everyone was present and was waiting for him to show up. Mark bowed deeply.

“I hope everyone is doing well.”

“Yes, the council is doing fine. But Yi En, we heard some disturbing news happened back at Seoul.”

Mark nodded. He’s been repeating himself over and over again in his entire trip, and he’s not gonna lie, he’s pretty sick about it. 

“It’s being taken cared of. We‘ll find out who’s responsible soon.” 

“You better, son. Raymond was a great leader. He wouldn’t let this type of incident drag on for too long.”

Of course, his father is brought up again. 

“You don’t have to worry about anything. As the current leader, I know my responsibilities well. Father made sure I kept it all in mind.” Mark replied. “Speaking of my father,” he took out the photo he showed 2PM couple days ago. “We suspected that there’s a high probability of the attackers being my father’s old enemy. If you could look at the photo, maybe you’re familiar with the insignia?”

The elders looked at photo and stared at each other. Mark waited for their response, but no one spoke. 

“We haven’t seen it before.” One of the elders flatly stated after a few minutes of silence.

The leader doesn’t know why, but he is not satisfied with the elder’s answer. So, he decided to push on further. 

“Are you sure? If you could look closer for me? Maybe it might ring any bells?”

In contrary to what Mark requested, no one glanced on the photo for a second time. 

“Yi En,” one of the elders sighed. “We’ve told you, it’s not familiar in any shape or form to us. We can’t be of help to you here.”

“But you haven’t—“

“Yi En. That is Enough.” Xiao Ji, the oldest and the leader of the council stated commandingly. “We said what we said. We’ve never seen it before. Now, the problem is in your hands. You are your father’s successor, you were chosen to lead this organization. It’s your responsibility to find out who’s behind this, not us.”

Mark frowned. 

“Agreed. Your performance recently has been very disappointing. I’m sure Raymond taught you better than that.”

“Perhaps you have been distracted lately? Your father wouldn’t approve of your current actions.”

Mark can feel his temper rising yet again. What’s with everyone and their obsession with his already dead Father?

“I am aware of my duties. My father inculcated enough teachings in my brain that I can even do them in my sleep. I’ve been nothing but committed to this work, so I won’t stand here and take all your criticisms just because I failed one time.” 

He didn’t mean to sound rude, but he’s been criticized ever since he arrived. His ears have heard enough at that point.

“Your father would never commit such a failure like that.”

That was it. That was the last straw.

“My father isn’t here anymore, I am!” Mark exclaimed. He’s had enough of the comparison. “This is my leadership now, not his. If you can’t accept that, then there’s nothing I could do about it.” 

Mark headed towards the door, ready to leave the suffocating atmosphere. He doesn’t even remember why he came in the first place, he doesn’t remember why he has to show himself here, because he knew from the beginning that he would receive backlash from his failure.

“You’re Tiger Lily’s leader, you should know better than to act like a brat.” One of the elders responded.

Mark turned around and looked everyone dead in the eye. 

“You’re right, I am the Leader of this organization. And as such, I can do whatever I think is beneficial for my group. My father isn’t here to influence my decisions. Now, If you’ll excuse me.” He bowed mockingly and finally left. He couldn’t wait to go home and leave everything for good.

——

Mark gulped his 4th glass of vodka, anger still burning within him. He hated how everyone pointed out his failure as if he isn’t already aware of it, but what boiled his temper to high degrees was the fact that the shadow of his father’s presence still looms behind him.

“I thought you stopped drinking, hyung.”

Mark glanced at the uninvited guest, pouring himself another drink. 

“I want to forget. Alcohol helps.”

Bambam took the seat right next to Mark, quietly admiring the scenery on the older’s personal terrace. The peaceful night is a great contradiction to their currently messed up emotions. 

“I assume everything went wrong? You went out of there earlier than expected.”

The elder scoffed and drank his vodka in one gulp. “I’ve had enough of their bullshit. I couldn’t stand being in that room any longer.”

Bambam sighed. Mark is usually a quiet man, and the younger would mostly do all the talking. But, there are times like this when Mark is so frustrated, he would rant his heart out, and it would be the thai native’s turn to listen.

“They keep comparing me to my father. Saying I’m a failure, telling me how much he’ll be disappointed in me, that he taught me better than that. Well shit,” Mark laughed bitterly, and gulped another round of vodka. “He taught me everything all right. He taught me _loooooooooots_ of things! He taught me how turn into a machine, drowning myself in work everyday. He taught me how to kill without mercy, leaving no witnesses alive. He taught me how to become emotionless, he taught me how to become a monster like him.”

“You’re not like him, hyung. You’re not a monster.” Bambam pipped up quietly.

Mark laughed out loud at that, feeling the alcohol infuse through his system. He laughed and laughed, like he just heard the funniest joke in his lifetime.

Bambam didn’t say anything. He let the older man have his moment before speaking again. 

“You’re not.” He repeated, his tone full of conviction.

“Oh yeah?” Mark asked mockingly, wanting the urge to get a good laugh again. “What makes you say that?”

The younger stared at Mark and looked at him directly, sincerity etched in his eyes. 

“Because if you were, you would have never thought of saving someone like me.”

Mark didn’t laugh at that. In fact, he couldn’t say anything. He never expected to hear such words from Bambam. 

The younger man smiled sadly. He took out a box of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. He then lit one up and puffed hard. 

“I thought you stopped smoking.” Mark commented, his mind still in turmoil by what the younger man said.

Bambam just shrugged and let out a long trail of smoke. 

“I want to forget too, hyung. Cigarette helps.”

The two went quiet for a while, settling on a comfortable silence. Mark thought long and hard about the decisions he made in the past. He’s been in this dangerous world ever since he was a child, he has been molded into the horrors of the world and was forced to live with it. His innocence was violently stripped away from him, and he wanted nothing but to get away from everything. He knows that once he steps on that position, there’s no going back for him. 

His father never made it easy for him. He wanted Mark to be a better leader than he was. More deadly, more cold blooded. At a certain point, Mark did feel those things. His thirst for blood and torture started to show up at a young age, but what hindered him from transforming completely was because of his loving mother.

His beautiful mother who always taught him to never lose his humanity. She was the guiding light in Mark’s life. She cultivated that small sprout of love in Mark’s heart, letting it grow well that Mark started to doubt his father’s ways. It was subtle at first, but as Mark grew up, he started asking questions, and his father was not pleased with his actions. When he found out that it was Mark’s mother who was teaching him, he decided to bring the matter to his own hands.

It was ruled out to be an accidental death, but Mark knew better than that.

His mother always told him to never let the darkness inside him win, and he made sure to always follow her advice.

He made his decision of changing the Tiger Lily’s cruel ways into a more civilized method the day after he was declared as the new leader. There were uproars, but a lot of his men supported his vision. It’s not an easy path, and its proving to be difficult now especially because of older members that still cling on to his father’s barbaric tradition. He had thought about giving up and letting things as they were to make his life easier, but people like Bambam and Jackson, who expressed to him again and again how much they’re grateful to him that makes him think otherwise. It’s still a constant battle against himself and his bloodlust, but if he’s surrounded by the right people, he hopes that someday he can overcome his darkness.

“Have you talked to Jinyoung hyung lately?” Bambam inquired all of a sudden.

Mark groaned, he forgot about that for a moment. 

“I’ve been so busy that I didn’t have the chance. He’ll be so mad at me once I come home for sure.”

Bambam chuckled. “Oh, I’m sure. He sounded upset on the phone when I talked to him.”

Mark’s eyes widened in surprise. “You talked to him? When? How?”

Bambam puffed out another smoke, this time purposely aiming it in Mark’s face. 

“Two days ago. I went to your room to give some documents and found you sleeping on your desk. Jinyoung hyung was calling you that time. You looked like you needed sleep, so I answered the call for you.”

Mark cursed himself, he took the entire bottle and drank the contents straight out of it. He’s already imagining his boyfriend’s raging face.

He’s going to be dead. So dead.

Bambam chuckled amusingly at the sight of his powerful leader’s scared face. 

“You want to know what else made me think that you’re not a monster, hyung?” 

Mark looked so flushed because of the sudden alcohol intake. His head started to buzz, but he listened to Bambam closely. 

“Because you’re in love. A monster would never know what that feels like.”

It maybe the alcohol talking, but as soon as Bambam mentioned it, Mark’s heart started beating intensely, like it was agreeing to what the younger man said. He suddenly remembered the last conversation he had with Jinyoung, and his anxiety about it crept back.

“He wants to introduce me to his friends on his birthday.” Mark stated. 

Bambam shrugged nonchalantly. “About time.”

The elder raised his eyebrow in confusion. “What do you mean by that?”

Bambam casually sipped the remnants of Mark’s vodka, letting the liquid burn his throat. “You’ve been dating for a while, hyung. It’s about time his friends and family know about you.”

“But isn’t it too risky? What if he gets involved in my business? What if he gets hurt because of me?”

Bambam rolled his eyes. “Then you should’ve thought of that before you dated him.”

The elder went quiet. Bambam is right. As soon as Jinyoung stepped in to his life, he was already exposed to his world. He risked Jinyoung’s safety from the very beginning.

“What... what if he finds out who I am?” Mark quietly asked. Thinking about it makes his heart hurt.

“Then... it’s his decision to make, hyung. Whether he leaves or stays.”

“I...don’t know what I’d do without him.” He confessed. He couldn’t bear the thought of it at all.

Bambam looked at his hyung in pity. He’s witnessed everything from the very beginning. Mark has been the happiest ever since he met Jinyoung, and it would break his hyung’s heart if he leaves him.

“Well... let’s just hope it never reaches that point.”

Mark sighed, his emotions scattered all over the place. He reached for another bottle of vodka, letting his mind muddle down all his thoughts and feelings.

He’ll be leaving China in two days, and he hopes that by the time he comes home, he wouldn’t have to bring his exhausted heart with him.


	10. Chapter 10

The first thing that Jinyoung did when he woke up that morning was to check his phone for a new message.

He wasn’t expecting anything in the first place, but he can’t deny the feeling of slight disappointment that gripped his heart when he found nothing.

He suddenly felt irritated looking at his phone, so he hid it under his pillow in order to resist the urge of throwing it right across the room. He rolled from his side and stared at the ceiling, millions of thoughts plaguing his brain.

Mark promised he’d communicate, but the last time Jinyoung properly talked to him was over ten days ago.

Mark never called nor texted since then.

Jinyoung feels frustrated.

Why is it so damn hard to talk to his OWN BOYFRIEND?

He slowly sat up, and willed himself to calm down. Nothing will come out from whining and overthinking, so he decided to just let it go for now. He trusts Mark 100%, and he’s confident that the older man would show up at his birthday party, so he’s going to let his boyfriend explain himself at that time. All he needs to do now is to wait for that moment.

Besides, he couldn’t think of that right now, he’s got more important matters to take care of.

Like getting a certain someone to admit his feelings for his lovely roommate.

Jinyoung glanced towards the other side of the room and found Youngjae sleeping heavily. The music major went in pretty late again, and has been doing so for several weeks now. The older man is starting to get worried for him, since he can always see how tired and lifeless the young man is whenever he comes in the room.

Even if Jinyoung wanted to talk about it, he couldn’t find a right moment because the latter would drop down to his bed and sleep instantly.

The literature major carefully stood up from his bed, tiptoeing slightly to avoid waking the sleeping man. He doesn’t even know why he’s doing it, because Youngjae sleeps through anything. Jinyoung had to drag him out of his bed and slap him repeatedly one time to wake him up because he was going to be late for his morning classes. There’s no doubt in his mind that even natural disasters won’t stop the man from living in his dreamland.

Jinyoung opened their mini fridge to take out the cake that was inside. He then went to his drawer to bring out the party popper and party hat he bought beforehand.

He trudged slowly towards Youngjae’s bed, set the cake down on the table, took a deep breath, and screamed as loud as he can.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHOI YOUNGJAE!!!”

Jinyoung twisted the party popper open, and the loud sound caused Youngjae to fly off from his bed and straight unto the floor. His eyes widened and his head whipped from side to side. His fists were clenched in front of his body, looking like he’s ready to fight.

Jinyoung laughed and crouched down next to his disgruntled roommate. It seemed like Youngjae wasn’t fully awake yet, because he flinched when the older man placed the party hat in his head.

“W-what? What’s going on?” 

Youngjae asked innocently, and Jinyoung chuckled slightly. 

“Yah, sleepy head, get that brain working! It’s your birthday!”

Youngjae blinked his drowsiness away. He was still in shock by the rude awakening, but his brain is starting to put pieces together. Jinyoung grabbed the cake from the desk and showed it to Youngjae. He motioned for the birthday boy to stand up, and took the lighter from his pocket to light the candle. His groggy roommate composed himself, murmured a quick wish and blew out the candle. 

Jinyoung smiled brightly, and Youngjae smiled back. He set the cake down and went in for a hug.

“Thank you for the heart attack, hyung.” Youngjae teased. Jinyoung lightly slapped his arm as retaliation. 

“You should be grateful! I spent my allowance for that cake!”

Youngjae laughed and sat back unto his bed, adrenaline from the sudden shock leaving his body. Jinyoung took his laptop from under his bed and did the same. He figured that since he’s already up, he might as well continue editing his work. 

“So, are we still on for today?” the younger asked as he traced his index finger on the icing of the cake to taste it.

When Youngjae announced that he wouldn’t be going home for his birthday, Jinyoung proposed that they celebrate together. He wanted his roommate to have fun on his special day, so he decided that they should watch movies and play arcades. Youngjae didn’t object to any of his hyung’s suggestions, instead was pretty excited for the plan as well. Jinyoung thought it wouldn’t be fun it’s just the two of them, so he invited Yugyeom and Jaebeom to come celebrate with them, since the four of them have been hanging out for a while now. When he informed Youngjae of their companions, Jinyoung was visibly pleased when the younger shyly smiled and said okay.

Jinyoung sighed and glanced at the younger man apologetically. 

“I’m sorry Jae, but I don’t think I can go with you guys. My deadline is coming up, and I still haven’t figured out my ending. I really need to double time on my story.”

Youngjae’s mouth formed an O shape, and he nodded in understanding. 

“I see. It’s okay, hyung. Don’t worry about it!” He smiled. He couldn’t possibly force his hyung to go, because his scholarship is on the line. 

Jinyoung clasped his hands together as a sign of apology. “I’m really sorry! I can’t come with you, that’s why I surprised you with a cake. I was hoping you’ll be blinded by the tasty treat and forgive me.” He smiled sheepishly.

Youngjae laughed. He felt touched that Jinyoung made an effort to surprise him.

“It’s cool. Yugyeom and Jaebeom hyung will be with me anyways. Don’t think about it and get that scholarship!” Youngjae raised his fist in the air, cheering for his stressed out hyung. Jinyoung smiled widely and lunged at Youngjae, tackling him for a hug.

“You’re the best roommate ever! Accept my undying love and affection!”

Youngjae giggled loudly at his hyung’s antics.

“Hyyyuuuuuung!!! I can’t breathe!!”

——

Jinyoung observed as Youngjae rummaged through his wardrobe for possible outfits. He’s been at it for almost 15 minutes, pulling multiple clothing one after the other, placing them at his bed and staring at them intently, before diving back again to find a better one. It was when Youngjae poked his head back into his closet for the 7th time that Jinyoung decided he couldn’t bear to watch the scene any longer and offered to help.

He got up from his bed and stood besides his roommate, analyzing the clothes that he unceremoniously placed in his bed.

“I don’t know what to wear.” Youngjae stated.

“I can see that.” 

Jinyoung walked towards Youngjae’s closet, scanning through the clothes the music major owns. As he shuffles through the clothings however, he noticed something a bit odd.

“Youngjae, these are all long sleeves. Where’s your shirts? Your polos? Short sleeves?”

Jinyoung noticed how Youngjae flinched at his inquiry. The younger man suddenly looked down, avoiding the older man’s questioning gaze.

“I-I don’t have any. I prefer wearing long sleeves.”

Come to think of it, Jinyoung can’t tell if there was an instance that he saw Youngjae wear a simple shirt, or even 3/4s. He’s always in long sleeves, even when he’s in pajamas. Jinyoung felt intrigued by Youngjae’s answer and he wanted to question why, but Youngjae looked so uncomfortable that he decided to drop the topic all together.

If his roommate didn’t want to talk about it, then Jinyoung would respect his privacy.

The elder turned back to his business and spotted a pink crew neck sweater from the far end of the closet. He pulled it out and placed the sweater infront of Youngjae’s body.

“Hm. This will do.” 

He gave the sweater to Youngjae and searched for pants. He found a good dusty blue one and presented it. He then ushered the younger man inside the bathroom in order to change into the clothes that he chose.

Few minutes after, Youngjae stepped out, wearing the outfit shyly.

Jinyoung observed his roommate and nodded.

“I like it. You look cute.” He complimented. He checked the outfit from top to bottom and felt pleased with his fashion skills.

Maybe being exposed to Bambam might not be so bad after all.

Youngjae looked at himself in the mirror, and Jinyoung can tell that he‘s nervous. 

“I-is this okay? Do I look fine?” 

Jinyoung smiled coyly and wrapped his arm around Youngjae’s shoulders. 

“Of course you look fine! You don’t have to overdress, you’re only going out with Yugyeom and Jaebeom hyung. It’s not like you’re trying to impress someone, right?” 

Jinyoung’s smile widened as Youngjae’s cheeks turned bright red. He laughed out loud when the younger man fervently shook his head, denying the accusations.

“O-Of course not! You’re right! I’m not trying to impress anyone! This is fine! This is great! Thanks for the help, hyung!”

Jinyoung patted the younger in the shoulder, smiling fondly. 

“I think Yugyeom is already at Offshore. You better hurry along so you won’t miss the movie.”

Youngjae nodded. He grabbed his bag that he prepared beforehand and headed towards the door to wear his shoes. 

“I’m going, hyung!”

Jinyoung followed him until the doorway, smiling brightly and waving goodbye.

“Have fun!”

Jinyoung kept waving until the door closed. He stood there for a couple of minutes, mischievous thoughts running through his mind. 

Now that the hard part is over, he’ll just have to wait for Jaebeom to blow up his phone with strings of curses and ample amounts of death threats.

He doesn’t mind though, because he knows in his heart that his best friend would be thanking him later.

——

Jaebeom kept running from one place to the other, checking if everything is in proper place and order. He peers through the kitchen and double checks if all the ingredients are complete. He then asks his staff if everything is okay and if he can leave them on their own for the day. 

“Boss, stop panicking. I told you for the nth time that we’re going to be fine here.” Sana, one of Jaebeom’s waitress spoke. 

“I know, but I can’t help it. Is everything well-stocked in the back? Do you have enough for today or do I have to go out and buy some more?”

“Hyung! Don’t you trust us? We’ve been working here for a while now. Just go have fun on your date and focus on that okay?” Kang Daniel, their main bartender reassured. 

Jaebeom blushed at the statement. 

“I-It’s not a date okay? Yugyeom and Jinyoung is going to be there. We’re just hanging out to celebrate.” 

The first time Jaebeom met Youngjae was when he was picking up Jinyoung from his dorm. They were heading to the studio to record a new song Jaebeom composed. It was Youngjae who brought him upstairs and back onto their room, because their security doesn’t allow anyone inside unless there’s permission. Jinyoung was at the bathroom, and Youngjae engaged a conversation with him to make things less awkward. Jaebeom was attracted to the younger man right away, and that attraction gradually grew when they started to hang out together with Jinyoung and Yugyeom back at his cafe. Jaebeom never told anyone about it, especially to Jinyoung, because he knows he would never hear the end of it.

That’s why he doesn’t understand how his staff members managed to figure out his feelings for his best friend’s roommate. He doesn’t recall being THAT obvious whenever the person in question is present at the store to buy food.

Sure, he’s jittery and nervous whenever the said man would engage a conversation with him, but who wouldn’t be flustered? Youngjae is a walking sunshine! He’s the cutest person Jaebeom has ever seen! He has the right to stammer through his words and look like a complete idiot!

...Okay, maybe he’s a bit obvious.

“Boo hoo. Date or whatever, just leave the place to us. You’ve been working non-stop boss, you need to live sometimes you know?”

Jaebeom sighed. He knows they’re right. For the past weeks he’s been nothing but work, studio, home, repeat. He’s been especially successful on his music career lately, because he’s been getting more and more recognition.

Good news as it might be, he still isn’t there yet that he can acquire enough money from his music. He still needs to pay for his monthly rental at the studio, and as well as his bills back at home and at the cafe. But the main reason why he’s been working his ass of lately is because he plans on purchasing the building that his studio is currently stationed at. The owner is an old man, and he couldn’t take care of the building anymore. He wanted to sell it for profit, and Jaebeom offered to buy it since he doesn’t want to move to a new place.

Since Jaebeom is a great tenant, the owner agreed and gave him a lower price for it. He’s been paying by installments, and he’s working continuously just to pay on or before the deadline. His staff members noticed him overworking himself, but they couldn’t say anything to stop him since he’s a very stubborn person.

The bell on the door rung, signaling that someone entered the shop. Sana and Daniel paused. They looked at each other and gave knowing smiles.

“Hyung, your date just arrived.”

Jaebeom’s heartbeat quickened drastically. Sana and Daniel went back to their original posts, leaving the poor owner standing in the middle of the room, frozen on his spot. 

Jaebeom flinched when he felt a hand tap his shoulder. He slowly turned around, and he swore, he almost went blind for about two seconds.

“Hey hyung!” 

Youngjae is standing in front of him, looking ethereal as always.

The older man couldn’t say anything and just stared. Youngjae looked confused for a moment, and the two workers who were quietly observing at the side slapped their foreheads because of how dumb their boss looks right now.

“Hyung?” 

A loud cough from the side of the counter is what brought Jaebeom back to his consciousness.

“O-oh! Hey! Youngjae! Happy birthday!” Jaebeom stammered.

He mentally slapped himself. Not cool, JB. Not cool.

Youngjae laughed. 

“Thank you hyung.” 

He needed Youngjae to stop smiling so beautifully, because he’s close to fainting right where he stands.

Jaebeom couldn’t help but notice that Youngjae is all alone. He looked at the front door and around the store, looking for a certain raven-haired, lovesick fool.

“Where’s Jinyoung?”

The younger walked to one of the tables and took a seat. Jaebeom followed his lead and sat in front of him. 

“He says he can’t come. He needed to finish his story.” Youngjae answered nonchalantly.

Jaebeom furrowed his eyebrows. Jinyoung told him last night that he was excited about today.

He was the one who initiated the plan and invited him to join, and now he suddenly says he can’t come? That doesn’t sound like Park Jinyoung at all.

It was Youngjae’s turn to scout through the shop, his head turning to both sides.

“Where’s Yugyeom? Jinyoung hyung said he‘s here already.” 

“He’s not here. He never texted me that he’s coming.”

Youngjae furrowed his eyebrows.

“Huh. That’s weird. Yugyeom’s never late at anything.”

The older man is confused, with what’s going on.

First Jinyoung canceled, now Yugyeom is potentially a no show? Something is obviously wrong here...

The cafe owner’s first instinct is to be concerned, but then, a startling thought suddenly lit up on his brain.

No. Way.

He stood up abruptly, startling the confused man in front of him.

“Hyung?”

Jaebeom picked up his phone and dialed Jinyoung’s number. He’s a hundred percent sure he knows what’s going on right now.

“Youngjae, can you call Yugyeom please? Ask him why he isn’t here yet. I just remembered I needed to do something at the back before we leave.”

“Okay...”

The older man sprinted towards his office, and as soon as he closed the door, Jinyoung answered the call.

“What do you think you’re doing?” 

Jaebeom asked, not even bothering to greet the younger man properly.

“Hello to you too, hyung.”

“You never said anything about not coming today. Why aren’t you here?” Jaebeom asked, his heart beating erratically.

“Youngjae told you right? I have to finish my story.” Jinyoung replied, and from the tone of his voice, Jaebeom can tell that he’s lying.

“Drop the bullshit Jinyoung.”

“What do you mean buy that? It’s true! Also... I can’t.” Jaebeom heard a cough, and it was the fakest cough he’s ever heard in his entire life. “I’m sick.”

The sweet smell of betrayal that radiated off from Jinyoung invaded the older man’s senses. Jaebeom can already tell that the bastard has that sickening smile plastered on his face right now.

He grabbed his hair in frustration.

“Jinyoung.. you can’t do this. I know what you’re trying to do.”

The man on the other end sighed. Jaebeom knows that Jinyoung is rolling his eyes right now.

“If you do, then don’t ruin it. I’ve known you since we were little kids, hyung. The only time that you don’t tell me anything is when it’s important to you and you’re scared to lose it. I know that you’ve liked Youngjae for a while now, but you’re scared he’ll hate you if you confess. No! Don’t even try to deny it! You’re not exactly subtle at your feelings, hyung. Trust me when I say that he wouldn’t, okay? I’m giving you a favor here, so stop being a coward and just make a move! You’ll thank me later.”

Jaebeom didn’t really think that he could hide things from Jinyoung, but it’s still terrifying to see how much his best friend is capable of reading him like an open book.

“You didn’t bring Yugyeom into this, did you?” Jaebeom asked, panic rising from his entire body. 

Jinyoung only laughed in reply.

“Have fun! Don’t screw it up!”

Jaebeom gawked as Jinyoung dropped the call. His can feel his energy slowly drain out from his body. He sighed loudly and glared at his phone, hoping that his friend is burning to the ground right now. He swore to himself that after all this, one man is going straight to his grave.

He stepped out of the room and went back to Youngjae, who was also ending his call with Yugyeom. Youngjae sighed as Jaebeom raised his eyebrows, waiting for the update.

“Yugyeom can’t come too. They had an emergency practice for their club recital.”

Did Jaebeom say one man? He meant to say two.

“It’s okay if you cancel too, hyung. I’m sure you’re busy running the shop.” Youngjae uttered quietly.

Jaebeom eyes widened at the saddened face of the younger.

“No! I’m free! I won’t cancel!” He quickly disagreed. 

As much as he wanted to strangle the life out of the conniving duo right now, they were right. He has been hiding his feelings for so long that he couldn’t handle it anymore. He’s been wanting to say something, but a part of him is terrified that he might scare the younger away. 

Maybe spending time with just the two of them would change his mind, and he can decide if it’s worth the risk of confessing. 

Besides, he can’t let Youngjae celebrate alone. 

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure in my entire life.” 

They stared at each other for a while, no one daring to look away. Jaebeom is excited, ready to spend the entire day alone with Youngjae. He’s also nervous, because what if he ruins everything? 

“Okay... but are you going to be wearing that while we’re out?”

Youngjae asked, pointing at the apron Jaebeom is currently wearing. The older man’s face flushed with embarrassment. He forgot to change out of his work clothes!

“I-I’ll be right back!” 

Jaebeom ran back to his office again, and Youngjae can’t help but chuckle at the older man’s cuteness.

——

“You want some food before we go in the cinema?” Jaebeom asked, eyes scanning the food stalls lining up in front of them. 

They headed out quickly after the older man finished changing into the outfit that he carefully chose days before. He picked a white printed shirt and paired it with his favorite black leather jacket. He didn’t have time to style his hair, so he just left it as it is. 

He hopes he doesn’t look too bad, because compared to him, Youngjae looks so attractive and adorable today.

“I think I’ll go for a popcorn and soda. We’re having lunch after anyways.” 

Jaebeom nodded and they walked towards the popcorn stand. A bored-looking girl is scrolling through her phone, unaware of their presence.

“Excuse me.” 

Youngjae spoke. The girl looked up and stared blankly at him. When she saw Jaebeom however, her eyes widened slightly, looking as if she just saw a celebrity.

“Y-yes?” 

She asked while staring at Jaebeom, her face flushing red. 

“I would like a barbecue popcorn.”

Youngjae quietly asked. The girl glanced at Youngjae, looking at him with obvious disinterest. She smiled sexily at Jaebeom however, leaning forward a bit and trying to show off her cleavage. 

“What about you, handsome? What do YOU want?” 

She asked, lowering down her voice in an attempt to sound seductive.

Jaebeom frowned. He’s not too keen at how the girl is shamelessly flirting right now. He took a peek at Youngjae’s face, and his dislike skyrocketed when he saw how uncomfortable the younger looked at the situation. 

“What I want? Well...” 

Jaebeom leaned in, and he can see the girl looking so excited, thinking that her seduction worked on him.

“What I want is for you...to do your job right.” He whispered. He stood up straight, not caring how the girl looked so red out of embarrassment.

Jaebeom narrowed his eyes at the girl, dangerous glint oozing out of them. 

“If you’re not going to treat your customers correctly, might as well give the job to the person who needs it.”

Jaebeom took Youngjae’s hand and led him away, irritation hanging off his shoulders. They were a few stalls further from the popcorn stand when Youngjae spoke.

“You shouldn’t have done that, hyung.” 

Jaebeom stopped in his tracks and glanced at the man behind him. 

“She was ignoring you. I can’t just stand by and watch you get embarrassed like that.” 

Jaebeom knows he overstepped a bit, but he felt protective of Youngjae when he saw how the girl was overlooking him. He will never tolerate anyone who treats another person insignificantly, especially if it’s directed at someone he treasured.

“You didn’t have to do it for me. I’m used to it anyways.” 

Jaebeom eyes widened, not sure if he heard it correctly. 

“What did you say?” He asked again, just to be sure.

Youngjae didn’t answer his question. He smiled instead.

“Thank you for standing up for me. We should probably head inside the cinema. Let’s just eat after, okay?” 

It was Youngjae’s turn to drag Jaebeom by the hand, and it was then that the older man realized that they never really let go of each other all this time.

——

“Queen is THE band! Hands down the greatest musicians of all time.” 

Youngjae gushed as the duo stepped out of the cinema. They just finished watching Bohemian Rhapsody, and the younger couldn’t stop praising the movie. 

“I’m more of an MJ kinda guy, but Queen’s pretty alright.” Jaebeom replied.

Youngjae gasped and stared at Jaebeom like he just said something scandalous. 

“You did not just say that they’re ‘alright’.” the music major exclaimed, quoting the last part with his hands.

Jaebeom shrugged, and Youngjae slapped him hard at his arm. “How can you say that hyung? Queen is amazing!” 

The older man rubbed his arm that got attacked, feeling the sting of the younger man’s wrath. 

“MJ is just better to me.”

Jaebeom loves Queen to be honest, he just likes watching Youngjae’s cute, frustrated expressions while trying hard to defend the band.

“I can’t believe you!”

They were bickering about the same topic until they reached the restaurant. Jaebeom kept teasing the younger man about how he couldn’t move on from from the shocking statement. 

“You need a lot of work. I’m going to transform you into the ultimate Queen’s fan.” 

Youngjae declared as they were lead by a waiter into a table at the very corner. 

“Oh? How are you going to do that?” Jaebeom asked, smiling at Youngjae’s determined expression.

“You’re going to listen to their songs of course. From their first album, down to their very last.”

The older man raised his brows, and nodded in understanding. 

“Will you listen with me?” He asked.

It was an innocent question, but Youngjae can’t help but blush. 

“Y-You can listen to it back at your house. I’ll give you the albums.” He replied.

“What? That’s not fair. How will I learn if you’re not there to guide me?” Jaebeom pouted. 

He looked so cute that Youngjae can’t help but quietly coo at the sight. 

How can he say no to that face?

“All right. I’ll listen to the songs with you.” He sighed in resignation.

Jaebeom smirked in triumph. 

They ordered their foods, and since they were hungry, they bought more than usual. As they were waiting, the duo engaged in small talks.

Jaebeom never got the opportunity to talk to Youngjae alone, since whenever they would hang out Yugyeom and Jinyoung is there with them. Now that it’s just the two of them, he could focus on Youngjae without looking like a creep and talk to him as much as he wants to.

It’s everything that he imagined: Youngjae is funny, he’s talkative without being annoying, and he can easily keep the conversation going. Jaebeom was nervous at first, but now he’s just enjoying himself and letting his personality shine through. 

While the younger is in the middle of talking about something that Jinyoung did in his sleep, Jaebeom’s phone rang all of a sudden. He fished his phone out of his pocket and looked at the caller id. He glanced at Youngjae for a second, and the younger man encouraged him to take the call.

“I’ll be right back.”

Jaebeom stood up and went out of the restaurant. He swiped his phone to answer the call.

“Jaebeomieee hyuuuuung!” 

Jaebeom took the phone away from his ear to save himself from going deaf.

“Can you stop screaming every time you call, Jackson? I still need my hearing to be intact.”

The older man can hear Jackson’s loud laugh at the other end. Even his laugh is going to break his eardrums.

“Sorry! I called to tell you that I’m going to be late later. I’ll text you when I’m heading at your studio.”

Jaebeom felt confused. He racked his brain, trying to remember what Jackson was talking about. 

It took about 5 seconds when he suddenly remembered that he was supposed to meet up with the loud man about the new song they were working on.

He forgot to inform Jackson that they had to postpone.

“Hyung? You still there?”

Jaebeom slapped his forehead, scolding himself for his forgetfulness.

“Uh listen, Jackson. I forgot to tell you that I can’t meet you today.”

“...Oh? Why is that?”

“Uhh... I’m with a...friend right now. It’s his birthday today, and we’re celebrating it.”

“Oh... is it someone I know?” Jackson asked.

Jaebeom scratched his head, itching to go back to Youngjae and continue their conversation.

“I don’t think so.” He replied.

“...are you two alone?”

Jaebeom wondered why Jackson would ask that, but he didn’t think about it that much and answered.

“Our other friends canceled, so yeah. It’s just the two of us.”

Jaebeom couldn’t hear anything for a while that he thought Jackson had dropped the call.

“I-I see. Sorry to bother you on your...date. Just call me whenever you’re free. Bye!”

Jaebeom couldn’t even say that it wasn’t anything like that because as soon as Jackson said goodbye, the call ended immediately. He sounded weird on the phone, and the older man wondered why.

He’s going to ask some other time. 

He went back inside the restaurant and found the waiter setting down their food. Youngjae saw him walking towards the table and smiled.

“Who was it?” 

Jaebeom sat down and took the napkin, placing it unto his lap. 

“My friend. He asked me about the new song we were working on, I forgot to tell him I couldn’t meet with him today.”

“Oh... is it okay? Is he mad that you canceled?” Youngjae asked, worried he might have done something to piss off Jaebeom’s friend.

“Nah, don’t worry. Jacks would understand.” Jaebeom replied, reassuring the younger man.

Youngjae nodded. They started to dig in into their food, talking in between and laughing at different stories.

Jaebeom discovered how much Youngjae hated cucumbers, because when the younger realized those green monsters were on his salad, he looked so disgusted and proceeded to pick it off one by one.

Youngjae looked so adorable removing the vegetable that Jaebeom took a mental photo and committed the scene to his memory. He offered to pick it off for him because the younger completely stopped eating to make sure there were no cucumbers present on his plate. Youngjae shyly declined but Jaebeom wasn’t having any of it. 

In the end, Youngjae had to spoon feed Jaebeom because he stopped eating to devote his time on removing the unwanted ingredient for the younger. 

Once they had their fill, Youngjae insisted to pay for the meal, since it was his birthday. Jaebeom wanted to protest, but the younger was surprisingly fast at giving his credit card to the waiter.

“Don’t sulk hyung, you can pay for the meal another time.” Youngjae reassured as they stepped out of the restaurant, patting the older’s shoulder softly.

Jaebeom felt butterflies fluttering in his stomach, because Youngjae mentioned the possibility of a next time.

The birthday boy wanted to play games, so they headed out to the arcade section of the mall. Jaebeom hated playing games, because he completely suck at it. He would watch Jinyoung play computer games when they were teenagers, and when he would try it himself, he would always lose right in the beginning. 

Jaebeom hated losing, and playing games required winning, so it frustrates him to no end whenever he fails miserably.

“Hyung! Let’s play tekken!” 

Youngjae jumped giddily and led Jaebeom to the tekken game. No one was playing, so they had the entire area to themselves. Youngjae sat excitedly and motioned for Jaebeom to sit next to him.

When he did, he was immediately greeted by all the controls and buttons in front of him, and he’s never felt more confused in his entire life.

He never played tekken before, and God forbid how much he’s going to suck at this game.

Youngjae is done putting his coins in and choosing his character. He looked at Jaebeom beside him and he noticed how lost the older man looked. He chuckled slightly, because Jaebeom looked so cute with his confused expression.

“You’ve never played tekken in an arcade before hyung?” He inquired.

Jaebeom looked at him, his face sulky and pitiful. 

“I’ve never played tekken period.”

Youngjae smiled fondly. Jaebeom heartbeat quickened when Youngjae dragged his chair closer to where he is. He felt his face flush as Youngjae flashed him another beautiful smile. 

“It’s okay. I’ll teach you.”

They spent 15 minutes going through every controls and buttons that Jaebeom needed to push for attacks and defenses. Youngjae gave a brief description about the characters, and who is best for battle.

Jaebeom tried hard to concentrate at what Youngjae was teaching him, but he can’t help himself into stealing glances at Youngjae instead. He’s too beautiful, and Jaebeom is so damn lucky just being this close to him.

Once Jaebeom “partly” understood the mechanics, the next one was choosing a character. He chose Kazuya Mishima. He had no reason why, it’s just because he looked cool on the screen. Youngjae on the other hand chose King, because he’s his favorite character to use everytime he plays. 

The countdown started and they both got ready, their fingers already placed in the buttons they desired. The characters faced in front of each other, and as Jaebeom pushed the buttons rapidly, dread started filling in his stomach.

It was as he expected. 

He never won a single round against Youngjae. 

It was a complete and utter defeat. Jaebeom feels frustrated because every time he thinks he has the upper hand, Youngjae would deliver a fatal blow to his character, leaving him speechless. Youngjae keeps reassuring him that he will win the next one, but the same fate mocks him everytime another round is done. 

Youngjae kept laughing, and Jaebeom wanted nothing more but to empty out his wallet for a single victory.

“Last. Let’s have one last round.”

Jaebeom asked determinedly, and Youngjae accepted his challenge. 

“I got this. I got this.” Jaebeom repeated to himself as he delivers blow after blow on Youngjae’s character. 

“Yes! Yes! Come on you got it! Just a bit more!” 

Jaebeom couldn’t help his excitement that he stood up, his hands never leaving the buttons of the console.

He delivered a sickening blow, ending Youngjae’s character. The coveted “YOU WIN” message flashed through his screen, and Jaebeom felt like he just won a lottery.

“YEEEEES!!!!!!!!” 

The older man jumped repeatedly, laughing so hard and smiling so widely.

“Woah! Congrats hyung! You finally beat me.” Youngjae clapped animatedly and beamed at Jaebeom.

“It took so long but I finally got the hang of it! Ha! I beat you in your own game!” 

Jaebeom laughed as he basked in his success. He did a little victory dance, and Youngjae can’t help but laugh at his silly actions. 

If only the younger knew that Jaebeom was going to be this happy for winning the game, then he would have purposely lost right from the very start. 

——

Time passes by quickly when you’re having fun. 

It was already 5pm when Jaebeom checked his watch. He was enjoying himself that he didn’t even realize that an entire day has passed.

“So, where do you want to go next?” Youngjae asked.

Jaebeom raised his eyebrows in awe. 

“You’re not tired yet?” 

Youngjae shook his head.

“I don’t want to disturb Jinyoung hyung. He must be working hard on his novel right now.”

Jaebeom feels bad. If only Youngjae knew how much of a sly fox his roommate really is.

They were casually walking around the park next to the mall, looking for the next spot to visit. Jaebeom is secretly glad that Youngjae doesn’t want to go home yet, because he wanted to spend more time with the younger man.

Jaebeom’s eyes trailed on Youngjae, who is now busy observing other people who is also in the park.

“Youngjae, can I ask you a question?”

Youngjae hummed, encouraging Jaebeom to go on.

“Why didn’t you spend your birthday back at your home?”

Youngjae suddenly stopped in his tracks, causing Jaebeom to abruptly stop as well. 

There was silence between them, and Jaebeom couldn’t see what Youngjae‘s expression looks like because his back was turned to him. 

“There’s nothing for me over there.”

Time stood still against them. Jaebeom can hear the sadness and bitterness on the younger’s voice, and he wanted nothing more but to clear it all away.

As Jaebeom stepped forward, Youngjae turned around. Jaebeom was expecting to see tears, but what he got was another mesmerizing smile.

“Let’s go to your studio hyung. I haven’t been there yet. I want to see it.”

Jaebeom wanted to ask, but dropped it for now. He nodded and they headed back into his car.

It was a quiet ride, no one daring to speak first. Millions of questions started forming in Jaebeom’s head. Why did Youngjae say that? Is he okay? Is there something wrong with his family back home?

It was as if Youngjae heard his thoughts, because he was the one who broke the silence between them.

“My Dad is a busy man. Him and my stepmom are always working, so no one’s really there to celebrate with me.”

Jaebeom glanced at Youngjae and found him leaning against the window, looking at the passing buildings outside. 

“I-Im sorry.”

Youngjae smiled sadly.

“Don’t be. It’s been that way my entire life, I’m used to it by now.” 

Jaebeom can feel Youngjae’s eyes staring at him. He wanted to look back, but he didn’t want them to crash either.

“I’m still happy though, because I got to celebrate with you. So thank you for spending your time with me.”

Jaebeom took the risk and glanced at Youngjae, who is smiling at him. 

“You’re welcome.”

They arrived 15 minutes later, and Jaebeom kept panicking internally because he couldn’t remember if he cleaned the studio. Working at a cafe shop that requires for an aftercare rubbed off on him so he’s especially tidy in his home, but whenever he goes and creates music, he really couldn’t care less about the mess, as long as he got inspiration for his compositions.

Jaebeom led them down to a stairway and into the small door. He fumbled through his keys and unlocked the door with more strength than needed. 

A loud, screeching sound echoed throughout the place, and he suddenly felt embarrassed. His studio is a bit old, and every month he would try to renovate one area that needed fixing. Today, he made a mental note to fix the door next.

They both went in and Jaebeom opened the lights to the studio. Youngjae gasped and looked around, amazed at the amount of instruments and equipments the older man has.

Jaebeom felt pride swell up inside him as he observes Youngjae’s reactions. The outside may be shabby, but he devoted his time and efforts into fixing the interior of the place.

This studio is his baby; his lifetime investment. This where he started his dreams, and this is where he will achieve them.

“This is amazing, hyung.” 

Youngjae praised, looking through the guitars and the piano that is neatly arranged on the room. He caressed the keyboard and softly pressed each key, letting a soft tune flow through the air.

Jaebeom headed to the mini fridge to take out some drinks. He took an orange juice for Youngjae, and a can of soda for him. He gave the juice to Youngjae and the younger man happily accepted. They sat on an recliner chair and Jaebeom opened his computer.

“Will you let me listen to your song?” Youngjae asked.

Jaebeom is a bit insecure about letting other people listen to his unfinished works, but he still scrolled through his unreleased tracks. He found a good one that he made months ago.

“This still isn’t done, I can’t find a good beat to end the song.”

Youngjae nodded, excited to listen nonetheless and Jaebeom pressed play.

“It’s called sunrise.”

Music started filling in the air, and Jaebeom’s sweet voice molded together with the beat. Jaebeom glanced at Youngjae and found him eyes closed, his head softly nodding to the music.

He looked so beautiful, so serene. Jaebeom wanted to touch his face and pull him close.

He wondered how the younger’s body would feel like while wrapped up against his, how his lips would taste like with his own.

Before he knew it, his hands started to reach out, inching closer to caress the younger man’s features.

But by then the music stopped, and Youngjae opened his eyes.

No one dared to move, and the two of them stared at each other. Jaebeom was caught red handed, his hands frozen midair. The trance was cut off when another music played, and Jaebeom quickly retracted his hand, his face flushed out of embarrassment. 

They were silent for a while, letting the music abate the awkwardness in the air.

“Uhh... Sunrise sounds great hyung.” 

Youngjae commented, his eyes averting the older man. Jaebeom is grateful about the change of topic, because he wanted to melt down from his seat and let the earth swallow him whole.

“U-m thanks. It’s still not done. I’m still iffy about the last part.”

“Hm. May I suggest something?”

Jaebeom nodded slowly. Youngjae began to suggest melodies and beats that Jaebeom never thought of before. It is to be expected, because Youngjae’s major is music. When Jaebeom applied the beats, he is pleasantly surprised because the tone sounded better than before. 

They spent the entire night going through more of Jaebeom’s compositions, and Youngjae proved to be a big help in making it sound even better.

Jaebeom had always thought his sound lacked something important these days, but now he realized that he only needed a burst of inspiration to keep his flow going. He’s glad he found it with Youngjae. 

It was almost 8pm, and they both decided to call it a night. Youngjae wanted to walk all the way to the dorm, and Jaebeom agreed to his request. He secretly wanted to walk too, because they can spend more time together that way.

“Did you have fun today?” Jaebeom asked.

Youngjae nodded. “I did. It’s a shame though, because Jinyoung hyung and Yugyeom wasn’t with us.”

Jaebeom smiled grimly. 

“Not that I didn’t enjoy your company hyung! I really did! I’m really glad I got to spend time with you alone! I-I mean because we never hung out alone before and I wanted...” Youngjae groaned and hid his face on his hands. “I’m embarrassing myself.”

Jaebeom laughed and pat the older’s shoulder.

“It’s okay. I know what you mean. We never did hang out with just the two of us, and I’m glad that we did.”

Jaebeom heart beat quickened when he saw Youngjae’s eyes cutely peeking out from his hands.

This man is too adorable for his own good.

They continued on their path, laughing and teasing each other all the way. Youngjae’s dorm is near, and that would mean their day is over and Jaebeom would have to part ways with him.

He doesn’t know when they’ll get to spend time together like this, all he knows is that he wants to see Youngjae’s smile this close again. 

They passed by a cake shop, and Jaebeom suddenly stopped in his tracks. Youngjae noticed that the older man wasn’t next to him and turned around, wondering why he was standing still.

“Hyung?”

Jaebeom looked at him, his face paling.

“What’s wrong...?”

Jaebeom looked at the cake again, his body dreaded with realization.

“I... don’t have a gift for you.”

Youngjae blinked, then after a few seconds he laughed out loud.

Jaebeom frowned. He felt guilty because he didn’t have a gift! Why is Youngjae laughing?

“That’s all?” Youngjae laughed clutched his stomach tightly. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost, but it’s only because you don’t have a present? You’re so cute, hyung!”

“I swear... I wanted to buy one..and I‘m not cute...” Jaebeom replied, his face blushing hard. 

What a way to impress a person that you like. Way to go, Im Jaebeom.

Youngjae grabbed his arm and clung to him. He led them both towards the dorm, laughing quietly to himself.

“You don’t need to get me something, hyung. I’m perfectly satisfied with everything today.”

Jaebeom blushed as he watched Youngjae link his arm with his. 

“But... I can’t just let this day pass without giving you something.”

“I told you, it’s fine.” Youngjae insisted.

“I’ll feel guilty if I don’t give you something.”

Youngjae stopped walking and so did Jaebeom. Youngjae was contemplating in his head, and suddenly a huge smile graced his face.

“Okay then, since you’re so persistent. I have a gift in mind.”

Jaebeom raised his eyebrows, waiting for the younger’s next words.

“Compose a song for me.”

Jaebeom blinked. “What?”

“You heard me. Make a song for me. Anything that you can think of. It doesn’t matter if you give it to me a few weeks from now, or maybe even longer. A song is all I ask. I’ll be happy with just that.”

Jaebeom nodded to himself. He can do that. He’s been meaning to compose a song for Youngjae anyways, but it was supposed to be kept for himself. Now that Youngjae requested one, there’s no other option but to push through it.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

Youngjae smiled brightly, and Jaebeom’s heart fluttered wildly.

“You owe me a song, then.”

They finally reached the entrance to Youngjae’s dorm. Jaebeom felt especially happy today, and his feelings for the younger increased tenfold.

“I had a great time today, hyung. Thank you so much for everything.”

“Me too. I’m glad you had fun on your birthday.”

They both just stood there, neither one wanted to say goodbye.

“So... I guess I have to go inside now.” 

Jaebeom nodded. Youngjae slowly turned around and walked away. 

The older man’s heart thundered at the sight. Something inside him is screaming that he couldn’t let this day end like this.

Spending the day with Youngjae made him realize that he wanted so much more.

He wanted to be more than just friends.

He wanted Youngjae.

Right before the younger opened the door, Jaebeom rushed forward and took hold of his hand. Youngjae looked surprised, but his eyes screamed something else. 

Jaebeom’s hands slightly shook with nervousness, but his determination is as hard as steel.

“I...” Jaebeom started.

He’s scared, but if he doesn’t do it now, he’s going to regret it for the rest of his life.

“Can I take you out for lunch tomorrow? Just the two of us? Like a... date?”

Jaebeom felt the younger grip his hand tightly. Youngjae looked so beautiful in the light, and he especially looked unworldly when he smiled and nodded.

“Of course. I’d love that.”

The older man couldn’t feel his legs. His head was over the clouds. 

He wasn’t rejected. Youngjae agreed. He has a chance. 

He slowly let go of the younger’s hand, already missing the warmth it provides. Adrenaline slowly faded out from his body, and it was replaced with bashfulness as Jaebeom realized what he had done.

“So... um... I’ll pick you up at 11 o’clock?” He stammered.

Youngjae giggled and nodded. 

“11 is fine.”

Jaebeom hid his hands on his pocket, feeling the cold sweat pouring out of it.

“O-okay... have a good night. Happy birthday again.”

Jaebeom stood awkwardly, waiting for Youngjae to head inside, but he didn’t.   
Jaebeom was confused at first, but that confusion turned into surprise as Youngjae suddenly leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Jaebeom didn’t have time to react because the cheeky younger was already running inside, hiding his expression.

“Goodnight hyung! See you tomorrow!”

Jaebeom cradled his cheek, feeling the tingle that Youngjae’s lips provided. He lingered on the doorstep for a while before walking back to his car that he left on the studio.

He’s excited for tomorrow, and he’s hopeful for the days to come.

He looked up to the night sky, admiring the star-dipped horizon. He recalled the events that transpired today, and out of all the things he’s currently thinking of, one thing stood out from the rest.

Jinyoung is going to look so smug when Jaebeom thanks him tomorrow.


	11. Chapter 11

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY PARK JINYOUNG! GET YOUR ASS UP RIGHT NOW!”

Jinyoung‘s eyes shot up as he woke up to the familiar sound of horns blaring beside his ear, and in his shocked state he found himself staring at the goofy face of his roommate, who took it upon himself to recreate the scene that the mischievous man had done days before.

“Yah! Choi Youngjae! Come here you brat!”

Jinyoung stood up from his bed and heartily tackled his younger roommate, who is laughing steadily at the elder’s disgruntled expression.

“Karma is a bitch, hyung! You got what you deserved!”

The duo got into a friendly wrestle, and when they got exhausted, the elder went ahead to shower in order to prepare himself for the day’s event. He really didn’t expect that he would be busy the entire day, the only reason why is because when he informed Jaebeom about his plan of having a birthday party, the elder took it upon himself to organize the event. Jinyoung didn’t even have to ask for the elder’s permission to use his cafe, because Jaebeom had declared that the party would be at offshore, even going so far as saying he would close for business on that day to commemorate the occasion, which the younger is greatly appreciative of.

Once he was done washing up and fixing his things, he sat back on his bed and picked up his phone to kill some time while waiting for Youngjae to get ready. He scrolled through the birthday greetings that’s currently blowing up his phone, laughing quietly to himself at the funny messages and embarrassing pictures his friends are sharing. 

He spent his time replying to each one, and when he reached the end he scrolled back up again, hoping to see a new message from a particular someone.

Jinyoung heart dropped, because out of all the onslaught of greetings and well wishes he is continuously receiving, none of it was from a certain Mark Tuan.

“Hyung? I’m ready to go.”

Jinyoung looked up and saw Youngjae smiling prettily and all geared up. He didn’t realize how long he had been staring at his phone.

He sighed glumly and took his bag right next to him.

“Are you okay, hyung? You look like you’re about to murder someone.” Youngjae asked as they both head towards the door.

Jinyoung wore his sneakers on and securely tied the shoelaces together, his mind racing with so many thoughts.

It’s one thing for Mark to not communicate over the last two weeks, but not sending Jinyoung even just a quick message on the day of his birthday? Now that’s a whole other story.

The literature major slammed the door a bit louder than usual, causing the walls to shake around the premises. Youngjae flinched at the sound, and as the elder clicked the keys to lock the door, the younger man was worried for a second that the lock was going to break because of the elder’s force. Youngjae gulped as his hyung’s aura looked threatening, and he’ll admit that he trembled slightly when Jinyoung glanced at him to reply, his face darkening with murderous intent.

“Trust me Jae, I’m close to doing just that.”

The duo headed out of the dorms and unto the parking lot, where Jaebeom is currently waiting for them in his car. Their first agenda is to pick up some party decorations for the cafe, and the elder insisted that Jinyoung needs to pick the designs himself. The younger thought that it would only be the both of them who would go around town, but he was pleasantly surprised when Jaebeom announced that Youngjae would be coming along as well. 

The younger noticed that ever since Youngjae’s birthday, his best friend and roommate have been inseparable. His pride soared seeing the two together, because it only meant that his match making skills is beyond incredible.

As they were approaching the lot, they can see Jaebeom leaning outside of his car. When the elder noticed their presence he abruptly stood up, causing him to stumble on his footing. 

Jinyoung snickered to himself as he saw his friend act like nothing happened and kept a poker face.

“You’re up early. You’re definitely not a morning person, and I’m pretty sure that you arriving here right on time is not because it’s my birthday.”

Jinyoung commented as he stood in front of Jaebeom, hands drawn across his chest with a teasing smirk plastered on his face.

The elder glared menacingly at Jinyoung, silently asking for the younger to shut up. Jinyoung only smiled smugly and looked at Youngjae, who was hiding behind him with a blush on his face. 

The literature major rolled his eyes and grabbed his roommate by the arm, shamelessly pulling the younger in front of him, right in the perimeter of Jaebeom’s personal space.

“Do I have to do everything for you guys? Stop acting like you haven’t been dating for the past week.”

Jinyoung is visibly pleased to see how red the two looked. This is the first time that the trio would be hanging out together again, and he couldn’t let the opportunity pass to tease the two about it.

“We- we’re not dating... yet.”

Jaebeom muttered under his breath. As much as the elder would like to spend all of his time with Youngjae and ask him to be his boyfriend, he wants to take things slow. He doesn’t want to rush the younger into anything he’s not ready for yet.

“Good morning, hyung.” Youngjae greeted shyly.

“Hi.” Jaebeom replied, unconsciously scratching his neck as a sign of nervousness. 

They’ve been seeing each other every single day recently, but Jaebeom still feels that tingly sensation in his entire body every time the younger’s presence is close to him.

Jinyoung smiled as he witnessed his two close friends being adorably shy and obviously in love with each other. He can see how their eyes sparkle and glow, and as much as he is happy for the both of them, there’s that tiny part of him that can’t help but feel a bit envious as well.

If only his love life was as simple as theirs.

Jinyoung clapped his hands together, effectively earning the attention of the lovestruck couple in front of him.

”Okay lovebirds, time to get moving! You can stare and drool at each other later, right now my stomach is complaining at me to get some food.”

Jaebeom sighed and Youngjae nodded sheepishly, redness still visible in both of their faces. Jinyoung went ahead towards the other side of the car, pushing the passenger’s seat open so they can start their errands.

He was about to head inside when he heard a loud cough in front of him.

“Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung looked up and found Jaebeom staring hard at him, attempting to send a telepathic message. At first the younger didn’t understand what his best friend wanted, but he soon realized what he meant when he found Youngjae quietly opening the car to the back seat.

Jinyoung sighed defeatedly. Of course his best friend is going to ditch him for his future boyfriend.

The literature major tapped Youngjae’s shoulder, causing the younger to stop from entering in the back seat to address him. The younger was surprised when his roommate pulled him forward, his entire body now replacing the elder’s original position.

“You can take the passenger’s seat.”

Youngjae stood awkwardly, his eyes blinking rapidly because of Jinyoung’s decision.

“Are you sure, hyung? I’m okay in the back.”

Jinyoung shook his head, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

“As long as Jaebeom likes you, that seat is all yours, Jae.”

The elder smiled as Youngjae went quiet and slowly sat beside Jaebeom. Jinyoung helped himself inside, and his eyes rolled instinctively because he can see how Jaebeom’s face is beaming with happiness.

Jinyoung have always dreaded being in the back seat, but right now he doesn’t mind it, because the look on his dear friend’s face is worth it.

The trio headed out into the pancake restaurant they have frequented ever since they became friends. It was supposed to be a nice, peaceful breakfast, until Jaebeom took it upon himself to announce Jinyoung’s birthday to the waitress, just to see if there’s a discount available. Instead of a price reduction however, what they got was a bunch of employees rounding up their table and singing enthusiastically to Jinyoung.

The birthday boy was so red out of embarrassment, especially when he was urged to blow the candle from the ice cream cake the employees gave.

“I’m going to kill you both.”

Jinyoung muttered under his breath, glaring at his two friends who were busy laughing out loud. Youngjae wiped his eyes and pat the poor man’s shoulder.

“Awww. Don’t be mean hyung, atleast you have free dessert.”

“That’s right, Jinyoung. You should thank me for telling the waitress about your birthday.”

The birthday boy turned his attention towards his other friend, who is trying his best to look sincere.

“Shut up. I saw you taking a video. I better not see it on any SNS, because if I do, I will end you.”

Jaebeom laughed and nodded in understanding, raising his hands up as a sign of resignation. The elder wouldn’t dare post anything anyways, because Jinyoung’s got a USB worth of embarrassing videos and pictures of him in return. His social life would be over in a snap if ever the younger decided to release them to the world.

Jaebeom would rather not awaken the devil residing inside his best friend, thank you very much.

After the embarrassing yet iconic incident, they decided to wander throughout the streets of Seoul, looking for a party shop where they can find some cheap but durable decorations. Jinyoung doesn’t want it to be too grand, just enough for people to recognize that it’s a birthday party.

They entered a small gift shop that Youngjae spotted along the way. Jinyoung is pleased with the place, because the prices were well within his budget.

“Go look for the designs you like nyoung, Youngjae and I will look on the other side.”

Jinyoung scowled, scrutinizing his friend’s suspicious behavior.

“Why can’t we just look for it together?”

Jaebeom didn’t reply though, instead he dragged Youngjae along with him, who is clueless about the entire conversation that just transpired between his friends. Jinyoung rolled his eyes at Jaebeom’s actions, sighing to himself as he let them go to do their own, gross business.

Being a third wheel is not fun at all.

The literature major spent his alone time and meticulously looked for decorations he liked. He went from confetti’s to party hats to balloons, thinking which one would suit his taste better. 

As he’s contemplating about the two different colors of party strings he thought were nice, he suddenly felt his phone vibrate from his pocket. He fished his phone out and almost dropped everything he was holding unto the ground when he saw the caller id.

[ 𝗜𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹: 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗸 ♥️ ]

Jinyoung’s heart beat went erratic. He took deep breaths, calming his mind and heart because of the sudden onslaught of emotions running in his entire body.

With shaky hands, he swiped the answer button and waited for the other end to speak first.

_“Jinyoungie?”_

The voice sent shivers throughout Jinyoung’s body. It’s the voice that made his days brighter, the voice that kept him calm whenever he’s had a rough day, it’s the voice that would send his heart fluttering intensely, especially when it calls for his name.

It‘s also the same voice that he never heard from for so long.

“Who’s this?”

Jinyoung replied, pettiness and sarcasm dripping in his every word.

_“Huh? Baby?”_

“I’m sorry sir, I think you got the wrong number. I’m not anyone’s baby.”

The younger heard a solemn sigh. He knows that the elder is aware on how upset he is, but the younger didn’t care. He had the right to be mad, because he’s the one who’s been ghosted on for so long.

“Who am I talking to again? I don’t think I know you, Sir.”

_“Jinyoungie...”_

Jinyoung knows the elder wants him to stop, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to let Mark know how much he’s infuriated right now.

The elder sighed again as Jinyoung didn’t reply. He had no choice but to playing along to his boyfriend’s pettiness.

_“Mark Tuan.”_

Jinyoung clicked his tongue.

“Ahhh, Mark Tuan... Doesn’t seem to ring any bells. Sorry.”

_“Jinyoung... I’m sorry. Please, let me explain.”_

Jinyoung could hear the desperation from the elders voice. He sighed and leaned back to the aisle where he was in, shutting his mouth before he could sass the elder any further.

Mark took that as a sign to go on.

_“I’m really sorry that I wasn’t able to talk to you for so long. I know I told you that I would try, and I feel like shit because I wasn’t able to keep that promise.”_

Jinyoung stared down at his shoes, unconsciously fiddling with the necklace that was coupled with Mark’s.

_“Jinyoung... please... please talk to me.”_

The younger took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

“I understand if you can’t call all the time. I’m not asking you to report to me everyday. I just want to know why didn’t you respond to any of my texts? One simple word or even one letter would’ve been fine. I just don’t get how you weren’t able to do even just that.”

Jinyoung didn’t want to pour out his feelings at some random aisle at a gift shop, but he’s been holding this heavy feeling for so long that he’s about to explode. He can feel tears welling up due to his frustration, but he forced himself to suck it all back up.

If his friends see him in this state, he might ruin the day for them. He couldn’t let that happen.

_“Jinyoung... I’m sorry, I really am. I won’t even make up excuses for how hurt I made you feel. I’ll be there before your party, so can we talk about it then? I want to let you know how much I’m regretting this.”_

The younger’s anger faltered slightly at the sound of Mark’s pleading voice. He can imagine how crushed his boyfriend looks right now.

“Okay...” Jinyoung breathed. “Let’s talk when you get here. What time is your flight later?”

Mark sighed in relief, happy to know that his love is giving him a chance.

_“It’s at 1pm. Bambam and I are having breakfast right now, then we’ll be leaving for the airport right after we pack some things.”_

Jinyoung nodded. He had informed Mark beforehand about the time of the party, and he’s glad to know that Mark made the effort to book a flight right before the celebration.

“Okay. I’ll see you then.”

_“Okay... I miss you. I can’t wait to see you again.”_

Jinyoung’s heart soared with glee. His frustration slowly shifted into excitement as he let the information sink into his brain.

He’s going to see Mark again after so long.

“I miss you too, but I’m still mad at you.”

Mark chuckled.

_“I know. Your friends and family would have to forgive my face, because I don’t really look the best right now.”_

Jinyoung smiled, his excitement growing even more. 

He’s ready to officially introduce Mark to everyone he deeply treasured. He can’t wait to finally say Mark’s name whenever someone asks him about the lucky man that stole his heart.

“Oh please. You and I know that you’ll still look devilishly handsome even if you don’t sleep or shower for an entire week.”

Mark’s laughter resonated in Jinyoung’s ears. The huge smile forming on his face is unavoidable as he imagine how the elder’s eyes would crinkle up, and his canine teeth would be exposed while grinning widely.

The younger really did miss his boyfriend’s face, and he can’t wait to see him up close again.

He noticed from his peripheral vision that his best friend is approaching him. The younger is so hung on talking to Mark that he actually forgot that he is currently shopping for his party.

“Mark, I have to go. We’re looking for some decorations for later, so it’s kinda of a busy day for me.”

Mark hummed in reply.

_“Okay. Goodluck with that. Can’t wait to see what’s in store.”_

Jinyoung motioned for the elder to wait for a moment, causing the latter to raise his brows out of curiosity.

“So, I’ll see you later?”

_“Yeah. See you.”_

Mark was about to drop the call, but Jinyoung remembered that the elder hasn’t greeted him yet.

“Wait, aren’t you forgetting something?”

He heard the elder man chuckle lightly.

_“If you’re asking me to greet you Park Jinyoung, you’re gonna have to wait until I’m right there in person, because I’m going to smother you with kisses first before I say what you want to hear.”_

Jinyoung laughed at that, his heart thumping out of anticipation.

“Well you better hurry up then, because I’ve been waiting for those kisses for far too long now.”

They ended their conversation on a good note, bidding their Goodbyes to each other, and silently whispering ‘see you soon’ under their breaths. Jinyoung feels light and ecstatic, his smile going unnoticed under Jaebeom’s scrutinizing eyes.

“What?” Jinyoung asked, eyeing Jaebeom as he picked up the decorations he chose right before Mark called.

“So I’m guessing that was your boyfriend?”

“Yup.”

“Hmm. Figures. You have that stupid look on your face that says ‘I’m stupidly in love’.”

Jinyoung scoffed as he elbows Jaebeom at his side and subsequently running forward towards Youngjae, who was happily chatting with the cashier on the register.

“Oh please, Jaebeom hyung. Don’t be such a hypocrite. You have that look, too.”

——

Jinyoung sighed as he gazed at the mirror, unsuccessfully fixing the one stubborn strand that is prancing around his forehead. It was nearing 4pm, and Jinyoung could feel his anxiousness building up about the incoming party.

This is a huge step with his relationship with Mark, and all he could hope for right now is that everything would turn out the way he wanted it to be.

“Are you planning to stay in here the entire day?”

Jinyoung turned his head and found Jaebeom leaning against the door, hands drawn in front of his chest.

“I can’t help it, I’m nervous.”

Jaebeom hummed. He stepped forward, hands reaching for the younger’s hair, styling it the way he thinks is best suited.

“I’m sure you are. You’re finally revealing your boyfriend’s face to us. I can’t blame your jittery nerves.”

When Jinyoung told Jaebeom about the party, the elder wasn’t convinced that it was only because he wanted to celebrate his birthday. He knew the younger wasn’t the type to do such things, and when the elder called him out with his bullshit, Jinyoung confessed that it was because he wanted to officially introduce Mark to his friends and family. 

Jaebeom wasn’t pleased with it at first, but he can’t deny that he‘s always been curious about who this person really is. Now that he knows about the younger’s true motives, he’s intrigued even more.

He wants to know what makes Mark Tuan so special that he’s capable of making Jinyoung — the most boring person he’s ever met —- dedicate an entire party just for him.

“It’ll be fine. Let’s go out and wait for the others to arrive, yeah?”

Jinyoung nodded and stared at himself in the mirror after Jaebeom managed to make him look better. He muttered a silent thank you to his best friend, taking deep breaths to calm his heart.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

The duo stepped out of the bathroom and headed out into the party area, where they decorated few hours before. Jinyoung is pleased with the results of their hard work; the place looked lovely with all the ornaments that they set up. It was simple and minimalistic, it wasn’t too much or too boring. It was just enough to give a smile on Jinyoung’s face.

Jaebeom tapped Jinyoung’s shoulder to catch his attention.

“I’ll go ahead and assist Youngjae with the food catering. They just arrived a few minutes ago.”

Jinyoung nodded and stared at his best friend’s retreating back. The younger didn’t really think that Jaebeom was serious about organizing his birthday, until the elder dragged him around downtown Seoul one morning to find a decent restaurant that would cater for their meals on that day. He was even more shocked to know that his best friend announced that he would handle all the payments as a birthday gift to his best friend, since the younger whined about not having enough money for such an expensive feat. 

He is especially grateful to Jaebeom, because even though he had expressed multiple times before about his dislike with his relationship with Mark, the elder still went above and beyond to make Jinyoung’s birthday a memorable one.

Jinyoung busied himself with other things on the cafe, and not long after the bell on the door rang, signaling them that their first guest has arrived.

“WHERE’S THE BIRTHDAY BOY AT?”

Jinyoung smiled as he saw Yugyeom bouncing happily. The giant freshmen ran towards the elder and gave him a suffocating hug.

“HYUUUUNG! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I can’t believe you’re having a party!”

Jinyoung laughed as he pat the younger’s butt, signaling him to let go in order for him to breath properly. Yugyeom is still bouncing after he removed his death grip on Jinyoung.

“Thank you. I decided to have one because I have a surprise later.”

Yugyeom’s eyes widened, and if he had a tail right now it would have been waggling intensely out of excitement.

“Ohhh! What is it? What is it? Did you get your scholarship? Or maybe a work promotion? Oh! Are you pregnant? Are you finally getting married?”

Jinyoung smacked the younger in his head, blushing at the inappropriate thoughts his dongsaeng is suggesting.

“Idiot! I’m not getting married! And how the hell am I going to be pregnant? I’m a man!”

Yugyeom pouted and soothed his head in an attempt to lessen the pain.

“I was just guessing... I wouldn’t mind if you get married though, you and your boyfriend are clearly meant for each other.”

Jinyoung’s heart swelled with his dongsaeng’s words. There’s no doubt in his mind that Mark would be fond of the younger if they meet each other later.

“I thought I heard a brat come inside. You’re too loud, Gyeom.”

The duo glanced at the counter and saw Youngjae and Jaebeom heading towards them. Yugyeom sprang to his feet, his arms wide open on his sides. Jaebeom is expecting to be tackled, and when he thought it was coming, he was only met with a cold gush of air as the younger went past him and hugged Youngjae instead.

“Youngjae hyung! I missed you!”

Youngjae laughed as he gladly returned the hug, patting the baby’s head in reply.

“I missed you too gyeomie! Our baby boy!”

Jaebeom blinked, his face red with embarrassment. He wanted to slap the hell out of the younger, but stopped as he saw how tight he was hugging Youngjae. 

The elders scowled and forcefully untangled the two from each other, earning a confused look from the two.

“You’re too close.”

Yugyeom scoffed and Youngjae laughed shyly.

“Geez hyung, I’m not going to steal Jae hyung from you. No need to be so territorial.”

The younger replied, his tone mocking the elder with his ridiculousness. Jaebeom blushed a deep red, and his infamous chin started protruding from his face. 

Yugyeom took that as a sign to run away.

“Get back here you brat! I’m going to cut your head off!”

The spectators laughed at the cat and mouse chase in front of them, and while everyone is having fun the bell rang again. Jinyoung glanced to see who was coming in, his face lighting up as he saw four very familiar faces.

“Mom! Dad! Sis!”

Jinyoung ran towards them and each gave them a tight hug.

Due to his busy schedules in school, he didn’t have the chance to go home frequently like he used to. So it was a given that his family were very excited when he informed them about his celebration.

“My baby, Happy birthday.” Jinyoung’s mom smiled sweetly. The younger smiled back and kissed his mom’s cheek, and then proceeded to hug his father right next to her. He led them unto a table, in order to wait for the party to start.

Jinyoung felt his arm being grabbed. When he looked back, he saw his two older sisters smiling mischievously.

“Is he here?” Soo Young asked.

Jinyoung smiled and shook his head.

“Not yet, but he’s coming.”

Bo young pouted, disappointment visible in her face.

“Awww. I can’t wait to meet him. Is he still in China?”

Jinyoung laughed and shushed his sisters, telling them to be quiet in order for his parents not to hear. He’s pretty close to his older siblings, and he can confide in them with almost anything. So, it’s no secret that when the girls asked him about his lovelife, he told them about Mark Tuan. 

The girls had been extremely supportive of him, they were even gushing about how sweet and manly the younger’s boyfriend is whenever they get the chance to meet. When Jinyoung told them that they were going to meet him at the party, they both squealed and expressed how excited they were.

“Mom was suspicious you know? She wondered what made you decide to have a party, when you never liked celebrating it in the first place.”

Jinyoung chuckled as he took a glimpse of his parents, who was busy talking to Jaebeom at the moment. He hasn’t told his parents about his relationship, but he knows that they’ll be supportive of him, because they were always like that.

“What did you tell her?”

“That maybe he has something in store for us at the party.”

Jinyoung shook his head fondly. His sisters could never shut about anything for too long.

“Stop giving them spoilers! I’ll tell you once he’s here, okay? Just go to your table and relax for a bit.”

The two giggled quietly and proceeded to sit next to their parents. Jinyoung took out his phone to check the time. Mark had told him he was going to be here before 4, and yet the elder hasn’t given any indication that he’s arrived in Korea. Jinyoung frowned, his hands thumbing along Mark’s number to call him.

‘𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘢...’

Jinyoung sighed and dropped the call. Negative thoughts started forming in his brain, but he willed himself to suppress his apprehension.

Mark promised he’ll be here, and Jinyoung is going to hold on to his words.

Guests started arriving one by one. The literature major didn’t invite much people, so he was surprised to discover that his mom had invited some of their aunts and uncles. His mother is the eccentric one in their family, and Jinyoung is sure that she got so excited that she started talking to everyone about the party. Jinyoung didn’t mind though, as long as his mother’s happy, he is happy as well.

Seongwoo also came to the party. The teen was shy at first because he didn’t know anyone, but Jinyoung made sure that he is comfortable, so he introduced his co-worker to his friends. Yugyeom is more than happy to entertain him, and the duo hit it off well at their first meeting.

Jinyoung was busy talking to one of his aunts when he heard a loud squeal right in front of the door.

“PARK GAEEEEE!!!”

Jackson ran around screaming happy birthday, effectively earning confused stares from the people inside. Jinyoung smiled sheepishly and excused himself to berate the loud man.

“Jackson, be quiet!”

The said man just laughed harder and hugged the birthday boy, who is now smiling fondly.

“I’m so excited! Jaebeomie hyung told me to emcee your party, and I have lots of things in store!”

Jinyoung raised his eyebrows, not knowing what Jackson was talking about.

As if on cue, Jaebeom was coming towards them, and Jackson sported the brightest smile on his face.

“Beomie-hyung!”

Jaebeom smiled back, and Jinyoung stared quizzically at the elder.

“What’s Jackson talking about, hyung? Why did you make him an emcee?”

Jaebeom shrugged.

“I wanted the guests to have fun, so I prepared a small program. It’s a party after all.”

Jinyoung nodded in amazement. He wasn’t against the idea, he’s just shocked that Jaebeom thought of everything into the tiniest detail.

“Oh, that reminds me. You still haven’t met some of our friends, right Jackson? I’ll introduce you to them.”

Jaebeom craned his neck and motioned for some people to come over. Yugyeom and Youngjae walked towards them, laughing together at the funny story the maknae was telling.

“You called?” Youngjae asked.

Jaebeom smiled and wrapped his hand around Youngjae’s shoulders, which earned a teasing look from their giant maknae.

“We want to introduce you to our friend. This is Jackson Wang, the rapper you hear in most of my songs. Seun-ah, this is Kim Yugyeom and Choi Youngjae.”

Jackson nodded and smiled slightly, handing out his hand for the two to shake on.

“Hey! Nice to meet you guys.”

Youngjae smiled brightly and happily shook the elder’s hand.

“Hi! It’s always great to see a new face.”

Yugyeom smiled as well, and gripped the elder’s hand tightly.

“I can tell we’ll get along just great.”

Jinyoung smiled at the little greeting, happy that his circle of friends have gotten along well. Jaebeom took it upon himself to usher the gang into their table, casually talking to one another as they walked. Jinyoung observed the people around him, and his heart feels full as everyone he treasured is present at the moment.

All but one.

Jinyoung took his phone again to check for any signs of Mark’s presence. When he found nothing, he quickly opened up his message to shoot the elder a text.

[ To: Mark ♥️ ]  
4:10 pm  
𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶? 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 4?

Jinyoung fixed his gaze on the phone, hoping to get any response from the elder. When minutes passed by and he didn’t get any, his heart dropped out of his chest. 

Jaebeom tapped his shoulder, and the younger flinched at the contact.

“It’s past four. Should we start?” Jaebeom asked.

Jinyoung shook his head, his eyes trailing on entrance.

“C-can we wait for a few minutes hyung? Mark isn’t here yet.”

The elder nodded slowly. Jinyoung paced around, worrying about Mark’s lack of communication. He tried calling again, but he was met with the same robotic response he heard earlier.

He tried to distract himself, going around and talking to his friends and family. As he was doing so, he was simultaneously texting Mark.

[ To: Mark ♥️ ]  
4:17 pm  
𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘨, 𝘚𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶? 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦?

4:25 pm  
𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨???

4:30 pm  
𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘛𝘶𝘢𝘯, 𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘨 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘐’𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶!!

4:43 pm  
𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘨...𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵... 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦... 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦.

Jinyoung was on the verge of tears as he stared at his unanswered text messages. Jaebeom slowly approached him, feeling his despair. He carefully placed his hand on the younger’s shoulder.

“Jinyoung...”

Jinyoung stopped him from saying anything more, rejecting the elder’s sympathy.

“Let’s start the party, hyung. We’ve waited long enough.”

Jaebeom sighed as he motioned for Jackson to start the party. Jinyoung tried his best to mask his devastation, smiling politely at everyone and doing his best to engage in conversations.

However, as minutes turn into hours, Jinyoung’s heart is slowly being crushed to smaller pieces. It’s especially painful when he would hear the door bell ring, and his head would whip up and glance at the door expecting it to be Mark, but then bitter disappointment would slap him when it wasn’t the person he was aching for.

Jaebeom tried his best to lift his spirits up by dancing crazily and entertaining him, but even his best friend’s goofy charms that rarely comes out couldn’t make his mood any better.

His heart was crushed, broken beyond repair. He had waited for this day for so long, and now he felt shattered, because the one person whom he had been missing for so long never arrived.

——

“Take care of yourself, okay baby? You have to eat more, you’re too skinny.”

Jinyoung nodded and gave his mother one last hug as he escorted his family back unto their car. The party was long finished, and most of their relatives have left for the day.

“I will. You take care, too.”

Jinyoung’s mother caressed his cheek, and he unconsciously leaned in to the warm touch. Being near his mother had always given him comfort, and she would never fail in giving peace to his heart.

“Honey, is there something wrong?”

Jinyoung snapped his eyes open, his mother’s gaze staring at him worriedly. The pain he tried to forget had resurfaced, and he tried to fight back the tears that were starting to form in his eyes. 

He had thought about this day for so long, and he was excited just by thinking about what his parent’s expression would be like when they get to meet Mark.

Now, it’s all going to be just an imagination.

Jinyoung cleared the lump that formed in his throat, he then shook his head and kissed his mother’s forehead.

“I’m okay, mom. You don’t have to worry about me.”

His mother was reluctant to let him go, but she knew that his son was the type of person who would not say anything unless he’s ready. So, with another quick hug she bid him goodbye, and went inside the car.

Jinyoung felt two pairs of hands snaked around him. He looked at both his sides and found his two sisters clinging unto him.

“Hey... you good?” Bo young asked, staring at Jinyoung with sadness.

Jinyoung’s lips quivered, if someone asks him that again, he’s not sure he’ll be able to hold himself together.

“N-no... but I will be.” Jinyoung replied.

Soo Young scoffed, a huge frown adorning her delicate face.

“I was really looking forward to meeting your boyfriend because he sounded so great in your stories. Now, all I can say about him is that he’s an asshole for not showing up.”

Bo Young glared at her sister, telling her to let the issue go. Jinyoung can only smile in reply. The two girls looked at each other and wrapped their younger brother in a tight hug, effectively easing their little brother’s heavy heart.

“It’s getting late, I’m sure Mom and Dad are tired right now. Get going you two. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

Bo young smiled and reached up to ruffle Jinyoung’s hair as a sign of affection.

“If you want to talk about it, you know where to find us, okay?”

Jinyoung nodded as he ushered his sisters in, waving goodbye as he watched his family disappear in front of him. 

The literature major sighed and dragged his feet back into the cafe, where his friends are currently cleaning up the mess that was left inside the place.

“Have they left?” Jaebeom asked.

Jinyoung nodded quietly and proceeded to stack up the chairs. No one spoke a word as they worked, and Jinyoung is eternally grateful that his best friend didn’t ask anything else, because he’s one word away from breaking down and destroying everything in his path.

When the place was deemed clean by Jaebeom, the gang slowly trickled outside the cafe to let the cafe owner close behind him.

“Let’s go clubbing! I want to drink the night away!” Jackson announced as they all gathered on the pavement.

“Sorry Jacks, I just want to go home for now.” Jinyoung replied glumly.

Jackson looked at the others who would be willing to go with him. Jaebeom sighed as he clicked the lock on the door, making sure it was fully closed. He then looked at his friend apologetically.

“Youngjae and I have to go somewhere, so we can’t come too. Sorry.”

“... Right. Of course you’re going somewhere else. What did I expect?”

Everyone went quiet, stunned at Jackson’s icy reply.

“What’s your problem?”

Jaebeom asked, confusion visible in his features.

The sliver haired man was about to say something in retaliation, but Yugyeom beat him to it.

“I’ll go with Jackson-hyung.”

The rest stared at the young man quizzically. Yugyeom shrugged, snaking his arm around Jackson’s stiff shoulders.

“I still want to enjoy the night. Hyung’s fun, so I’ll go with him.”

Jaebeom bit his lip, fighting the urge to say something else. Unspoken tension is lingering in the air, and the elder didn’t want a fight happening so he sighed and let the matter go.

“Okay then...”

Yugyeom smiled and dragged the silent man by the shoulders, waving goodbye to the rest of them.

“Yah, Yugyeom-ah! Don’t stay out late and don’t go home too drunk! You too, Jackson!” Jaebeom screamed. The younger just showed an okay sign, indicating he understood what the elder said. 

Jaebeom was expecting Jackson to wave goodbye as well, but he was dismayed when the loud man never looked back.

The trio was left outside the cafe, and Jaebeom glanced at Jinyoung, thinking of the right words to say.

“You can come with us, if you like.”

Jinyoung shook his head. He didn’t want to do anything. He just wants to go home and cry himself to sleep.

Jaebeom sighed. He hated seeing his best friend looking so devastated.

He was ready to give that Mark Tuan a shot today, but all thoughts of that flew out the window. Now, he wanted nothing more but to punch that guy square in the face.

“Well... We’ll get going. Text me when you’re back at your dorm okay?”

Jinyoung had no will to reply, so he only nodded.

“Bye hyung... see you later.” Youngjae smiled timidly and waved. Jinyoung watched as the couple slowly walked ahead, and he didn’t miss the way Jaebeom slowly reached out to interlock his hands with Youngjae’s.

He smiled bitterly at the scene.

Jinyoung started his long journey back to his dorm, his head muddled with so many thoughts. 

He never doubted Mark’s love for him, he never questioned it, or even thought twice about it. He gave his all to the elder, and he didn’t understand how he would do this to him.

Jinyoung felt his legs shake, and his eyes welling up with tears. The younger angrily wiped them away and willed himself to go on, but the tears kept coming. 

It was too much and his heart was too heavy that Jinyoung couldn’t see what’s in front of him anymore. His steps started to slow down, and eventually he stopped in his tracks and stood under one of the unlit lamp post.

Like a broken toy, he abruptly crouched down and hugged his knees, letting himself cry out loud. He couldn’t care less about the people who’s going to see him and think he’s crazy, right now all he wants to do is to ease the anguish and frustration he’s feeling right now.

His heart had never felt this much agony before.

Is it even possible for a human to experience this much pain?

Jinyoung didn’t know how much time he spent hunching over the ground and crying, but when he was done and all of his tears are out, he felt a lot better. He stood up slowly to regain the blood flow to his legs, telling himself to take deep breaths as well.

He willed himself to continue walking, so he could get to his bed and put an end to this horrible day.

As Jinyoung continues walking to the side road, he suddenly felt a chill run up his spine. He rubbed his shoulders together in an attempt to wade off the cold.

His hair started standing up, and he suddenly felt uncomfortable, like someone was watching him.

He looked at his back and found no one behind him. He noticed however that there’s a sleek black car behind him.

He was expecting that the car would pass by him and it would go on his way, but when it didn’t, he felt his heart thunder in his chest.

Jinyoung acted nonchalantly but soon quickened his steps, when the car slowly came up next to him. He silently cursed himself, because why did he think that it was such a great idea to walk from the cafe to his dorm that night?

As the car was reaching to him, he willed his feet to walk faster, his body starting to release cold sweat from every area.

_‘Faster Jinyoung!’_

When Jinyoung finally gained control of his feet and reminded himself that he could actually run, his realization came too late as he felt hands grabbing his mouth and shoulders, pulling him inside the car. Jinyoung’s adrenaline kicked in as he tried to remove himself from the death grip the person is currently holding him in. 

He kicked and wiggled, screaming his lungs out even though his mouth was tight shut by the hand. Jinyoung tried to elbow the man behind him, but the man was faster and locked his hand behind.

Jinyoung’s thoughts were muddled together as he tried different ways to escape. He was so busy in his mind that he didn’t realize that someone was calling him by his name.

“Jinyoung! Stop! It’s me!”

The literature major stopped his struggling as a familiar voice echoed in his ear. He slowly looked behind and his eyes widened. Once the man assessed that Jinyoung wouldn’t punch the living daylights out of him, he slowly let go of his grip.

“M-Mark?”

“...Hi.”

Jinyoung sat there with his mouth agape. He noticed Bambam in the driver’s seat, looking at both of them with a sheepish expression on his face as he stares from the rear view mirror.

Once the younger had regained his senses, anger started pooling up inside him. He pried open the door next to him in order to get out, but Mark was fast enough to close the door again.

“Wait! Baby please!”

Jinyoung snapped his head and stared at Mark angrily.

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

He tried again, but Mark was persistent on not letting the younger leave.

“Please, let me explain!”

Mark grabbed both of Jinyoung’s shoulders but the younger man slapped his hand away.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t ever talk to me again!”

The elder backed away, feeling the sting of Jinyoung’s words.

“Okay... okay I won’t touch you. Just, please let me explain.”

Jinyoung scoffed.

“Explain what? That you didn’t show up in my party like you told me you would? Save it. I don’t want to hear any of your excuses.”

“Jinyoung, please...” Mark pleaded.

Jinyoung wasn’t looking at him, still felt hurt and confused about everything. The younger man was silent, but Mark was adamant about explaining himself to his boyfriend.

“1 minute... just give me one minute to explain myself.”

The literature major stared hard at him.

“1 minute. After that, I’m out.”

Mark nodded. He’ll take any chance he could get.

“We arrived at the airport, Jinyoung. I was there, waiting for my flight.. I was just waiting for the boarding time, but then all of the sudden a huge storm started hitting China, and our flight got delayed by two hours. By the time I boarded and arrived here in Korea, it was already too late.”

Jinyoung looked at Mark’s face to detect any lies, but all he could see is how desperate the older man is to get his forgiveness.

“Why didn’t you answer me then? I called and texted you a thousand times, and you never replied.”

Mark shuffled and slowly took out his phone, showing a broken screen to the other.

“There was a commotion after the flights got delayed. People were running everywhere and my phone got stepped on.”

Jinyoung snatched the phone, inspecting it sharply with his eyes.

“I’m turning this on. If it opens up on me, I’m going to cut your head off and feed it to the dogs.” The younger coldly stated and pushed the on button.

Mark felt fear in his body, and he prayed to the heavens above to be by his side today and prove to Jinyoung that his phone is really broken. 

He and Bambam visibly froze when his phone lit up for moment, but then a sigh of relief escaped his mouth when the phone shut off and didn’t open again.

Jinyoung threw the phone on the floor.

“See? It’s broken.” Mark stated.

“Why didn’t you use Bambam’s phone then? You could have called me using that.”

The elder cursed himself in his head. He simply did not think of that.

Jinyoung saw the realization in the elder’s face and rolled his eyes. He pried the door open again, but Mark saw him and held both of his hands.

“Jinyoungie... I’m so sorry... I really didn’t mean for this to happen.”

The other pried his hands away and started hitting Mark’s chest.

“You’re such an idiot! Do you know how much I waited for you?!”

Mark can feel the sting in Jinyoung’s punches, but he would gladly take all of it, if it means he would feel better.

“I was so excited for you to meet everyone! Even at the very end I was expecting you to show and you...didn’t...”

Jinyoung held his head down, trying hard not to tear up. He feels so frustrated right now, and Mark’s reason for not showing up wasn’t even his fault.

“I was so confused...” he choked, a lump forming in his throat. His punches gradually slowed down, and his fists curled up in Mark’s shirt. “I didn’t understand why you didn’t show... when you promised me you would...”

Jinyoung sobbed and Mark engulfed him in a hug.

“I’m so sorry... I feel like shit... I’m really sorry Jinyoungie...”

The younger wrapped his arms around Mark as tightly as he could.

“I was so scared... I thought you changed your mind and left me...”

Mark shook his head and kissed the younger’s head multiple times.

“Of course not. I would never leave you. I love you far too much to do that.”

Jinyoung cried his fears away, pouring out the emotions he thought he had washed away into the man in front of him. 

He’s the type of person that’s not afraid of a lot of things, but for the entire time that he was waiting for Mark to show up he felt terrified, he was so scared that he lost the most important person in his life.

Once younger had calmed down, Mark rubbed his tears away. The elder was looking at him with hurt in his eyes, and he knows that his boyfriend is scolding himself internally right now.

“I’m so sorry... can I make it up to you?”

Mark asked. Jinyoung felt drained, but nodded anyways.

The elder looked at Bambam, who was quietly observing the scene that was unfolding.

“Let’s head to my house. The main one.”

The thai nodded and started driving the car.

Jinyoung’s eyes widened.

“Y-Your house?”

Mark smiled and brushed his fingers on Jinyoung’s face, wiping away the tears left on his angelic face.

“You’ve never been there before right? I’ll make dinner for both of us, and I was thinking since you wanted me to know your family and friends, maybe we can invite them there tomorrow? I want to properly apologize and explain to them why I wasn’t present today.”

Jinyoung was speechless. He didn’t think that Mark would actually do this, and he felt better in knowing that the elder is 100% with him in this step of their lives.

“Plus, we still need to talk. I’m sure you have a lot of questions in your mind right now.”

The younger nodded. He’s finally getting some answers, and he’s not going to let this opportunity pass by.

“Okay... but don’t even think about anything happening tonight. I still hate your guts for not showing up today.”

Mark pouted.

“But the flight delay wasn’t even my fault!”

“Nope. You’re not tapping this ass tonight.”

The elder sighed. He deserved it anyways.

“But can we atleast share a bed? I miss you lying next to me.”

Jinyoung smiled slightly.

“Fine, but if I feel you touching me at weird places, I’m switching rooms.”

The younger can’t help but chuckle at the elder’s pouting face. Of course, he was just teasing him. He would love to be ravished by the elder tonight.

Mark smiled as he caressed his boyfriend’s beautiful face. He leaned in and kissed the younger with so much passion. The elder kissed him again and again, and Jinyoung couldn’t help but laugh at his boyfriend’s antics.

Mark grinned as he stole one last kiss, his eyes swimming with so much adoration.

“I told you that I’d smother you with kisses first before I properly greet you. Now that I’ve put that out of the way, I can finally say it. Happy Birthday, Park Jinyoung.”

——

The couple were quietly talking to themselves, catching up on the days that they weren’t together. 

Mark knew there were still things that they needed to discuss, and answering them would be difficult for him, but right now all he wanted is Jinyoung’s warmth next to his.

“Boss, I see birds incoming.”

The mafia leader stiffened in his seat. He caught the bodyguard’s stare right at the mirror, silently alarming him through his eyes.

“... How many?”

“Two.”

Mark cursed silently in his breath. He glanced at Jinyoung, who’s confused by what the thai man was saying. 

The elder leaned in and made sure that the younger’s seatbelt is firmly strapped in his body, while doing the same thing to himself.

This can’t be happening.

Mark took a deep breath. He can’t let himself panic. He needs to protect Jinyoung.

“Jinyoung, listen closely to what I’m about to say. I want you drop your head low, and keep it low as long as I say it, alright?”

“What? Why? What’s going on?”

Mark was about to say something when he heard a loud pop at the side of the car. Jinyoung screamed and reflexively ducked down. The older cursed and checked what was happening. 

Dread filled his stomach as he saw guns pointing straight at them.

“Bam, step on it! They’re raining bullets!”

Bambam didn’t need to be told twice, he pushed down the accelerator and revved the engine as hard as he can.

“M-Mark? What was that??”

Mark gritted his teeth as he sees Jinyoung looking so terrified next to him. The elder can only kiss his head in reply.

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this. Just keep your head down, okay? I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

If Mark noticed Jinyoung’s eyes widening at the sight of him pulling his gun out from under the seat, he paid no attention to it. He knows that the younger is going to ask questions later. He knows the day that he dreaded so much had come, but he’s going to deal with all of it later. His priority right now is to get Jinyoung to safety.

“Bam, lose them at the street 2 blocks ahead. We’re stopping at our Gangnam HQ.”

Bambam swerved the car from right to left, his focus zeroed in to the road in front of him as bullets were continuously hitting the car. A loud bump was heard at the trunk that made them stumble forward. 

Mark cursed loudly as he can see that one of their attackers is attempting to hit the rear end of their car to get them off track.

“Bambam! Give me your phone!”

The thai clumsily threw the phone at the back, and Mark instantly dialed to call someone. He glanced at Jinyoung, who is trembling right next to him.

Finally, the call connected.

“It’s me. Get the men ready. Open the gates, we have birds on our back.”

Mark didn’t need to wait for the reply to know that they got his command. They braced themselves as Bambam stepped on the accelerator, trying to lose the onslaught they were currently receiving.

One of the cars sped up, and positioned itself to their car’s right side. Bambam noticed that the other car is trying to get ahold of their left, and it was then he realized that they were attempting to crash them in between.

Bambam cursed inwardly.

“HOLD ON!”

Mark shielded his entire body against Jinyoung, and as soon as the cars swerved to them, Bambam stepped on the breaks so hard, he felt his ankle strain because of so much force. The two at the back seat almost flew into their seats, and if it weren’t for their seatbelts they would’ve been thrown right outside the car.

The trio were quiet, their heavy breaths were the only indication that they were unharmed. The peace didn’t last long as Bambam cursed yet again, because right in front of his vision the two cars remained unharmed, they were able to elude the crash that Bambam had planned to do.

Without thinking twice the thai swiftly gripped the steering wheel and swerved to his right and unto a short alleyway. After successfully reaching the other side he can see familiar buildings surrounding the area, and the thai man wanted to scream in relief.

“We’re almost there!”

Mark craned his neck and he saw his HQ from where he was sitting. His men is lining up at the gates, guns fully ready for the attackers to come.

Bambam floored the gas to maximum, and in no time they were being assisted out of the car and into the building.

Mark was still holding the trembling Jinyoung once they got inside, who still hasn’t recovered from the initial shock of the attack. The mafia leader scowled and motioned for Bambam to come over.

“Bring Jinyoung upstairs into my room. Make sure he doesn’t go outside at any cost.”

The younger nodded and gently prodded Jinyoung to come with him and get some rest. 

Mark was keeping his composure for the sake of Jinyoung, but now that everything’s clear he wanted nothing more but to kill everyone on sight.

He looked at his men who was on standby and pointed at one.

“I want those cars found, and I want it NOW!”

The man nodded and ushered some of his companions to follow, arms full of weaponry and ready to hunt the attackers down.

Mark paced back and forth, his head swimming with so much rage.

Bambam came back down and the elder’s attention is on him.

“How is he?”

The younger sighed. He sat to the sofa, calming his nerves from the adrenaline of the chase.

“He’s still trembling. He wanted to know what happened, but I just told him to stay put for now.”

Mark gritted his teeth and his eyes only saw red. He picked up the first object he saw and forcefully threw it right across the room.

Shards of glass started flying everywhere, and Bambam winced at the impact it caused.

Mark took deep breaths to calm himself. Getting worked up right now isn’t going to help his judgement.

He motioned to one of the men who was left on standby.

“Call my home and tell them to bring more men in there. Don’t let Yugyeom out of the house in any circumstances. If he gets out, it will be on your head.”

The man nodded and proceeded to follow the command.

Mark paced again, his hands trembling and his eyes fuming with so much anger.

“They had the nerve... they had the balls to attack me like that...”

Bambam kept quiet. He didn’t expect the attack as well, and how foolishly brave they were to do an ambush like that.

“I have no doubt they’re the same people who took our weapons back at Apgujeong. None of our rivals would be stupid enough to do such things.”

Bambam commented. Mark bit his lip. He’s aware of that as well, and he’s been tolerating it for a while. Now, they just crossed the line.

“Hyung, what are we going to do now?”

The elder massaged his temples. His face contorting into a dark expression.

“This ends now. Tell everyone of our compounds to get ready. If they think that they can just ambush the Tiger Lily Mafia Leader and come out unscathed, they have another thing coming.”

“...What did you say?”

Mark’s eyes widened. He willed his body to slowly turn around, and what he saw made him completely freeze in his spot.

Jinyoung was standing right at the stairs, his entire body trembling with fear.

“Mark...you’re ... a mafia?”


	12. Chapter 12

In all of Park Jinyoung’s 23 years of existence, not once did he think that mafias were real.

The entire concept of ‘Mobs’ and ‘Mafia Leaders’ were always well within the boundaries of the 4 corners of his laptop, tucked under the category of ‘Movies’ and ‘TV Shows’. He’s not particularly fond of the said genre, but as a literature major he needed to watch a few films and read some mafia-themed books that his professors would assign them for their lectures. 

Jinyoung isn’t too keen with violence, so it’s incredibly off-putting for him that they needed to study about medieval wars and unnecessary bloodshed between families for the sake of making a literary masterpiece, when there’s so many other better genres out there that are more enjoyable that does not involve cutting a man’s head off in broad daylight. 

Of course, the literature major is not an insensitive jerk. He’s not oblivious to the fact that there are ruthless people prowling on the streets, and that there are real crimes being committed everywhere, sprawled all around them like an infectious disease. It’s just that, he never really imagined that he would have to come across with those kinds of people in his life, ever.

Atleast that was what he thought until now, as he stares at the face of the man who just announced himself as a Mafia Leader.

“Mark... you’re ... a mafia?”

Jinyoung watched as Mark’s face slowly drained of its color. His eyes were wide open, looking as if he was just caught doing something unspeakably wrong.

“J-Jinyoung...”

The elder stepped forward, his hands reaching out to the younger, but Jinyoung hastily stepped back. Hurt flashed through Mark’s sculpted face, but the younger didn’t let himself be swayed by those eyes. He needed answers.

“Did I hear it wrong? Are you really a... mafia leader?”

Mark stood gaping at Jinyoung, his entire being pleading for latter to drop the topic. 

This isn’t what he thought when he decided they needed to talk. He originally wanted to reveal bits and pieces of his other life to the younger, and he would start by telling Jinyoung his past. The elder is well aware that he couldn’t keep the secret forever, but he wanted to take his time, to slowly ease the topic for Jinyoung to hopefully understand. 

He was not rushing, but now all of this happened and everything is starting to go wrong, and it’s heading into a disaster that the elder doesn’t know how to control. 

Jinyoung’s patience was running low, and Mark’s silence is unnerving him. The unspoken tension is already becoming too unbearable for the younger that he snapped.

“Mark! Answer me!”

“...Yes, it’s true.”

The confirmation that came directly from Mark shocked Jinyoung to his core. The strength that held his legs upright suddenly disappeared, and his entire body went limp. He fell straight unto the floor, gasping heavily as he tried to gather enough oxygen to prevent him from fainting. 

Under his peripheral vision, he saw Mark walking straight towards him, but the mere thought of the elder touching him made him feel nauseous.

“Don’t come any closer!”

The footsteps abruptly stopped as Jinyoung struggled to regain his breathing, his head hanging low in front of him and his entire body shaking involuntary from the revelation. 

He couldn’t believe what he just heard.

Jinyoung mentally reminded himself to breathe, counting down from 100 and thinking of calm scenarios. He’s had previous experiences with hyperventilation, so it’s a good thing that he knows how to manage himself once he starts acting up. 

Slowly, his rapid pulse gradually became slower, and his breaths returned to an even pace. Even after all the mental instructions however, the stabbing feeling in his chest wasn’t going away, not matter how much he wanted it gone.

Jinyoung’s brain is too conflicted, thoughts too muddled to try and make sense of everything around him. In times like this when he feels like the world is ripping him into two because of confusion, the one thing that he would do was simple. 

Ask. 

The younger breathed in slowly as he tried to vocalize the questions that’s been burning on the edge of his throat.

“How... long... has this been happening?”

Jinyoung couldn’t even dare look up and stare at Mark while speaking, so his fixed his gaze on his fist, which was currently curled up and resting on his lap. 

The elder visibly relaxed as he observed the younger’s calm breathing. He was itching to cradle Jinyoung in his arms, and it slowly killed him inside as he helplessly watched his lover break down in front of him.

Mark knew that Jinyoung deserved the answers, and he’s willing to give it to him.

“My family has always been part of the mafia. I inherited this position, Jinyoung. I became their leader right after my father passed away.”

The elder’s reply was nothing but a sharp stab to Jinyoung’s heart. He’s known the man for a year, and not once did he realize that Mark has this side of him. 

“So... all this time that we’ve been together, you had this... thing going on?”

“Yes.”

Jinyoung recalled all of their dates, their interactions, and their secret meetings. 

Slowly, everything made sense. 

The younger’s lips quivered as his brain started to put two and two together. Tears threatened to fall, but he angrily wiped them away. 

“... Is that why you’re always taking me somewhere remote? And why you always let Bambam take me instead of you doing it personally? Because you’re their leader and you didn’t want me to know?”

“It was meant to protect you.”

The younger let out a bitter laugh. He cupped his face and covered it with his hands, processing the surplus of information he’s receiving.

“Well, you have a shitty way of showing it, because look at what happened! We just got shot at!”

Jinyoung slowly stood up, and willed himself to look at Mark in the eye. 

He regretted the action immediately, because the elder looked so distraught and so shattered from where he’s standing.

“Boss! I just got the news! Are you okay?”

A familiar voice invaded the surroundings, interrupting the tense atmosphere the room is currently in.

Jinyoung’s eyes widened considerably. He couldn’t believe what he is seeing, and it was evident that the man was equally surprised, as his previous rapid steps slowly transitioned into a small, and uncertain pace.

“J-Jackson?”

Jinyoung’s breath hitched in his throat, his head swarmed with so much questions that it felt like his brain is going to explode any minute.

“Jinyoung...”

Much like Mark, Jackson stood and gaped like a goldfish out of water, inwardly regretting the moment he decided to step inside the premises.

When they parted ways after Jinyoung’s party, he and Yugyeom went to a bar not too far from Offshore. Jackson wanted to get wasted that night, he wanted to let go of some toxic emotions that he’s bottling up in his body.

The duo hadn’t manage to finish their third bottle however, because Jackson was informed about the ambush situation. He escorted Yugyeom back to the Tuan’s residence before making the decision to head down to the HQ to see what was happening.

Now he cursed at himself, thinking that he should’ve stayed to keep an eye on Yugyeom instead. 

“You know Mark? How...?”

Jackson’s eyes flickered over Mark’s direction, asking for the Leader’s help. Mark gave a slight nod, indicating that it was okay for him to tell the truth.

With shaky breath, Jackson steadied himself as he delivers new information that will forever change Jinyoung’s perception of him.

“I’ve... known Mark way before you met him. I work for him.”

Jinyoung wheezed as he steadied himself against the wall, leaning beside it for support. His heart felt like it was being ripped into two, and he wanted to scream so badly.

He has never felt betrayed like this before. These were the people that he cherished, that he... loved.

Now, looking at them felt like he was looking at complete strangers, like they came from a different world, and Jinyoung didn’t know what’s scarier than that.

“You all lied to me.”

The younger spoke in such a quiet voice, but Mark heard it all regardless.

“Baby, please—“

“Don’t call me that.”

Jinyoung seethed with anger. He willed his legs to stand straight, his rage serving as the adrenaline that pushed his tired body to keep on going. The room was closing in on him, and he suddenly feels suffocated, like a panic attack is on the verge of rising to his chest.

He couldn’t stand being in that place any longer, so he took a small step forward. That step was what pushed him to continue charging towards the main door, his senses telling him to leave as quickly as possible.

He was about to open it when he felt a hand grab his arm tightly.

“What are you doing?”

Mark asked in a strained voice, painfully aware on what Jinyoung was about to do, but secretly hoping that the younger wouldn’t go through it.

Jinyoung yanked his hand away, his eyes burrowing holes all over Mark’s head.

“I’m leaving.”

The younger turned and proceeded to open the door, however he didn’t expect two bulky men standing in front of it, blocking his way of exit.

The younger tried to squeeze his way out of the men. He wasn’t weak, but the difference in strength was clear because no matter how much Jinyoung tried to push them there was no effect to the two at all.

Jinyoung huffed in frustration as his brain attempted to think of ways to slip past them. He tried punching one of them in the chest, but all it got him was unwanted pain in his knuckles instead. 

He cursed as he glared menacingly at the two, hoping that somehow his well-known death stare would affect them and leave them scrambling out of his way.

The two didn’t pay any attention to him however, as their eyes were locked in whoever was behind him. Jinyoung followed their gaze and looked back, understanding what was happening.

Of course they wouldn’t budge. 

Their _Leader_ didn’t give them permission to do so.

The literature major directed his glare towards Mark, who is standing way too close to his comfort.

“Tell them to get the fuck off my way.”

Mark shook his head in refusal.

“I can’t let you go out there, Jinyoung. It’s not safe.”

Jinyoung scoffed and rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“Oh yeah? And who’s fault do you think that is?”

The younger’s sarcasm struck into Mark’s heart like poison. His face contorted with hurt, because Jinyoung is right. 

It was his fault.

Everything that’s happening right now is because of his dangerous position. 

Guilt started eating him up, and even though it’s futile, he wanted the younger to know that he meant no harm.

“I never wanted you to be caught in this, I never wanted you to be in danger. I hope you understand that.”

Jinyoung stared back at Mark, quietly observing the elder’s pained expression.

His fists curled up into a ball as he looked at the elder dead in the eyes, letting him know how much everything affected him.

“It’s not even about the incident, Mark. I don’t care if you never meant for any of this to happen. Hell, I honestly don’t care if you are what you say you are! What hurts me the most is the fact that you _lied_ to me, and that you’ve been lying to me about who you are all this time. You made me believe that I know everything there is to know about you. I was clearly wrong. And you—”

Jinyoung turned his head towards Jackson, who was already staring right at him.

“Jaebeom trusted you.”

Jackson’s face crumpled, and Mark didn’t know what to respond to that. Instead, he silently watched as Jinyoung turned his back on him with scorned eyes and proceeded to yell out his anger at the two men who were planting themselves in front of the door.

It was evident that the younger wanted nothing more but to leave his place, his entire body screaming disgust at Mark.

This was the very thing that he feared; Jinyoung hating him instead of loving him, looking at him with eyes full of betrayal instead of adoration.

The elder expected it would happen, but it doesn’t mean that it hurts any less.

“Do you... really want to get away from here?”

Jinyoung stopped his struggling and looked at Mark’s direction.

The elder’s head was hung low, and his eyes were hooded under his bangs. On separate occasions, the younger would’ve ran towards the man to kiss all of his anxieties away.

This time however, he felt empty.

“Yes.”

Mark took a deep breath and nodded in understanding. 

“If that’s what you want, I won’t hold you back any longer.”

Sounds of protests echoed inside the room, and Bambam is the first to speak up against it. 

“Hyung! It’s too dangerous! They may be still out there on the streets!”

Mark raked his fingers through his hair, frustration evident on his posture. 

“I know. That’s why I’m taking him back myself.”

They clearly did not expect Mark’s announcement, so even more voices spoke up to protest.

The Leader knew that it was even more dangerous, but he would only be reassured of Jinyoung’s safety if he sees through everything himself.

Jinyoung however, looked alarmed at the elder’s statement.

“What? No! I can take care of myself!”

Jackson also joined in the protest, not liking how Mark’s decision is sounding.

“You can’t go back out there, if they find out about it you’d be in danger again, boss! I can take Jinyoung home, so just stay here!”

Jinyoung glared at Jackson, his face contorted in displeasure.

“I don’t need anyone of you to do anything! I can perfectly take myself home!”

The silver haired man rolled his eyes at the younger’s arrogant claim.

“Oh please. Don’t be stubborn, Jinyoung! You clearly don’t understand the gravity of the situation! You’ll be an easy target if you go out there unprotected!”

The stress that built up inside of Mark and the onslaught of people speaking simultaneously triggered something inside him. Sudden rage bubbled up and he slammed his fist at the wooden door, effectively shutting everyone up.

Mark’s knuckles started to throb, but he didn’t pay any attention to it as he trailed his dark gaze towards Jinyoung, who was trying his best not to show his fear.

“What I said was final. I’m not letting you leave this place alone, no matter how much you try and convince me. It’s either you endure the sight of me while I drive you back, or you stay here with me the entire night. Your choice.”

Jinyoung stopped the words from tumbling out of his mouth, hiding the tremble in his expression from the tone of Mark’s voice.

He has heard the man raise his tone whenever he’s talking on the phone with someone who pissed him off, but Mark’s lower register was a whole lot different. It meant that whoever was on the other side of the phone fucked up big time.

Now, It’s scarier for Jinyoung, because that kind of tone is directed towards him.

The younger willed himself to calm down as Mark stared down at him. He‘s a few inches taller than the elder but right now he felt small, like he was trapped in the corner like a wounded prey as a predator stalks around him.

He wanted to act strong, but his broken voice gave his fear away.

“T-Take me home.” 

Mark’s anger subsided at the sight of the frightened Jinyoung in front of him. The elder clenched his fists, hating himself even more as he fought the incoming headache that was threatening to arise.

He silently motioned for Jinyoung to follow him at the back area of the headquarters, with Bambam and Jackson trailing right behind them.

None of them spoke a word the entire walk, the only sound cutting the tensed atmosphere was the continuous taps of their footsteps.

Mark led them to an open parking area, where different set of cars were lined up and ready to be used.

The elder gave a curt nod to Bambam, who nodded back in understanding. The thai man nudged Jackson and pointed somewhere else, and the duo silently turned back towards the headquarters, their shadows slowly disappearing into the night.

Mark studied the vehicles and decided to pick the most inconspicuous car out of all his collections, a black cadillac ct6. The Mafia Leader pointed at the vehicle and one of the guards on standby came forward to give him the car key.

As they were heading towards the car, Jinyoung sped past the passenger’s seat next to the driver and opened the back door. The elder stopped walking and stared at the younger, who was refusing to meet his gaze. The leader sighed and went inside, strapping himself to prepare for a painful ride back to Jinyoung’s dorm.

——

Mark is well aware that he should keep his focus on the road ahead of him at all times when driving, but his eyes kept gravitating towards the man sitting behind his car.

As he expected, the ride was suffocatingly quiet. Jinyoung had been staring outside the window the entire time, his face void of emotion. The only moment some noise were made was when the younger man gasped as a car sped pass the traffic lights right next to them, honking violently as the driver muttered curses at their direction.

Mark took notice of how Jinyoung slinked back to his seat and attempted to curl up his body into a small ball. The elder gripped the wheel tightly, knowing full well that it was because of him that Jinyoung was becoming like that.

The urge of holding the younger in his arms, whispering words of assurance, and telling him that everything would be alright is so strong, that he wanted to stop the car and do it right there and then.

Of course, Jinyoung hated him now. There was no way he was going to let Mark touch him, not after everything he’s done. 

As he heard a soft whimper escape the younger lips, Mark’s control slowly slipped away.

He glanced back using the rear view mirror, crushed at the sight of Jinyoung looking like a lost and broken child. 

“Jinyoung...” 

The elder’s voice broke Jinyoung in his reverie, and the younger whipped his head so fast that Mark worried that he may have snapped something in his neck. 

“ _Don’t_.”

The enraged tone in the younger’s voice is more than enough to make Mark drop the topic.

His heart is devastated, wishing that Jinyoung could atleast let him explain everything. Mark glanced at his mirror and his eyes caught a familiar vehicle trailing not too closely behind them. Relief flooded through him instantly, and he appreciated the thought that Bambam was perceptive enough to understand what he meant.

Mark wasn’t confident that they were out of danger completely, so having the bodyguard follow them at a safe distance was reassurance that he wouldn’t be alone incase there’s another ambush happening. 

It wasn’t long when the outline of the student’s dorm became visible within their line of sight, and the mafia leader can tell by the sudden alertness of the younger’s body that he was aware of it too. Mark slowly pulled up on the driveway, and he wasn’t even properly parked yet when suddenly Jinyoung opened the car door and ran inside the building.

Mark cursed under his breath and proceeded to park his car in a rush. He quickly got out and sprinted towards the building to chase after Jinyoung. 

He didn’t manage to go beyond the entrance however, because an arm shot up against his body, preventing him to go any further.

“Sir? Your id?”

Mark legs were jittery. He took a quick glance at what’s in front of him, and from what he saw was Jinyoung’s back quickly retreating from his vision. 

He couldn’t waste any more time. He needed to get to the younger as quickly as possible.

“I don’t have one.”

Mark replied, glaring at the security guard right in front of him. He tried to push the arm away, but the guard is persistent. 

“Then I’m sorry, sir. You can’t get in unless you have a card, or if someone comes down to get you.”

Mark would’ve appreciated the security’s dedication for the job and safety of the students on any normal and ordinary day. Heck, he would even give compliments to the man! Unfortunately for him, this wasn’t anything like those normal and boring days. The elder has been through so much stress and frustration today that right now, what the guard was doing is pissing him off even further than he already is.

“Look—“

“What’s going on in here?”

Another security guard - a woman - was heading straight towards them. The guard who was stopping Mark bowed at the woman, indicting that her position is higher than his. 

She looked stern and unforgiving as she stared at her co-worker, but when her eyes landed on Mark, her entire demeanor changed.

“Ma’m, this guy here is—“

“Oh my god! Sir Tuan!”

The security guy’s face shifted from surprise to fear, as he stared at Mark with his mouth hanging open. The lady guard smacked the guy’s shoulder, and it made a huge sound that Mark winced at the impact.

“You idiot! He _owns_ the place! Why aren’t you letting him in?!”

“I-I’m sorry! I’m new here, I didn’t know what he looked like!”

Mark sighed as he waved the two away, interrupting their frantic conversation. It was an honest mistake, and it’s not everyday that the young CEO visits his properties anyway. 

He owned stocks in various universities, and student dorms were no exception. The security guy bowed profusely, apologizing for not recognizing the person as his boss. 

“It’s fine, you’re just doing your job. I just really need to get inside now.”

The two stepped out of his way, bowing multiple times as Mark sprinted inside the building. 

The elder cursed as he repeatedly punched the elevator button, his legs restless at the slowness of the machine. When the door finally opened, he briskly got inside and pushed the button for the 7th floor, where Jinyoung’s room is located.

He had known about the man’s dorm number when he asked about it a while ago, and he’s eternally thankful that he remembered the information well.

The door was about to close when a hand stopped the elevator and quietly slipped in. Mark didn’t pay any attention to the other person, as he is too occupied to get to Jinyoung.

As soon as the elder got to the 7th floor and the door opened, he squeezed himself out and ran towards 709, Jinyoung’s room number. 

Mark knocked on the door, wondering when his hands started to shake uncontrollably.

“Jinyoung? Please talk to me.”

Mark paused and brought his ear next to the door, hoping for any sort of noise from the other side.

“Please... just let me explain.”

In an outsider’s point of view, he would most likely look so desperate at the moment, but he didn’t care how pathetic he looks and sounds right now. All he wanted was to beg for Jinyoung’s forgiveness, to kneel in front of him and ask him for another chance. 

Mark kept banging on the door, pleading for Jinyoung to hear him out. He was persistent in making the younger listen, and he’s been at it for a few minutes now that the surrounding neighbors started leaving their rooms to figure out what was going on. 

Some where confused, others were pitiful. Most of them however were annoyed to the point that they started shouting at him to keep it down, but Mark couldn’t. He needed to talk to Jinyoung.

After several attempts of knocking with no indication of the younger opening the door, Mark gradually stopped. He leaned his head on the door and stayed there, attempting to stop his tears from falling. 

He hadn’t notice how long he was in that position, until he heard a voice behind him speak.

“Um... excuse me?”

Thinking it was another one of the neighbors who is pestering him to leave, Mark waved his hands weakly to swat them.

“I’m done. Go away. Go back to your room.”

Mark sighed as he thought the person finally left, giving him more time to compose himself. The person replied however, in a rather meek voice.

“I can’t. You’re standing right in front of my door.”

Mark perked up and slowly turned his body around.

He saw a soft looking boy, whose eyes were wide open in surprise as he stares back at him. 

The elder glanced towards the door and back to the boy, realizing what he meant.

“Oh. uh... sorry.”

Mark shifted his weight and stood straight up, stepping sideways to let the boy in.

The man didn’t move however as his eyes were locked in on Mark, his expression unreadable.

The stare was making the elder weirdly uncomfortable, and so he scratched his neck in an attempt to wade off the awkwardness.

“You’re... Mark Tuan, right? CEO of Yang Enterprises?”

The elder looked up and saw the boy gazing at him intently.

“Yeah... and you must be... Jinyoung’s roommate?”

The boy nodded in confirmation and extended his hand.

“Yes. My name’s Choi. Choi Youngjae. Ring any bells?”

The name is slightly familiar. Jinyoung must have mentioned a Youngjae from one of his stories, but the elder was too tired and too drained to remember clearly.

Mark took Youngjae’s hand and shook it firmly.

“I’m sorry, but my mind’s a bit hazy at the moment. But it’s nice to officially meet you.”

The two let go of each and stood in the halls awkwardly. Mark surely didn’t know what to say, as he didn’t expect to meet Jinyoung’s roommate in this manner. 

The elder knew just by looking at younger’s eyes that he was curious, and surely enough, Youngjae inquired shortly after. 

“If you don’t mind me asking... why are you standing in front of my dorm? And, how do you know Jinyoung hyung?”

Even though there’s something nagging at the back of Mark’s head to not tell the truth, it seemed that there was no way out this situation.

He was caught red handed; a working man with high status standing pathetically in front of a student’s dorm and begging right in front of it. His actions alone would raise questions. Plus, this is Jinyoung’s roommate. One of his trusted friends. It would seem wrong to deny his relationship to the younger.

Mark sighed as glanced at the closed door longingly. He hoped that somehow, amidst the conversation with Youngjae the door would miraculously open, and that his lover would open his heart and lend his ears to listen for the explanation.

He directed his gaze towards Youngjae, who was anxiously waiting for his response.

“I’m the guy that was supposed to show up at his birthday party today.”

The other man gasped, shock evident on his features.

“You’re... hyung’s boyfriend?”

Guilt consumed Mark’s senses as the younger knew what he was talking about. 

Of course they do, Jinyoung was so excited about this day that he surely must’ve mentioned the elder’s arrival to everyone he loves. Now, things are falling apart, and Jinyoung clearly doesn’t want to be involved with him anymore.

Mark smiled bitterly, and he stared at the younger with eyes full of uncertainty.

“That’s... entirely up for Jinyoung to decide.”


	13. Chapter 13

Jinyoung woke up feeling entirely exhausted.

He slowly sat up and caressed his face with his hands, feeling the swell on his eyes from his non-stop crying the previous night.

It was a miracle that he managed to pull himself together throughout the entire ride back home, but when his body hit the bed as soon as he arrived, that’s where the tears started to fall. It also didn’t help that he managed to hear Mark’s pleading all the way from his room, aggravating the pain he’s already holding.

He let out an worn-out sigh and glanced at the clock in his bedside table. 

9:45 am. Jinyoung was definitely too late for his morning class.

For some reason however, he didn’t scramble off his feet in order to get ready and catch up to his remaining classes. Instead, he pulled his comforter up to his chin and went back to bed, eyeing the empty bed across to his. He was sure that Youngjae came back home last night, as he heard the door open from where their shared room is located.

The younger most probably had gone to attend his morning classes, and Jinyoung wouldn’t normally mind the peace and quiet, but the face of a certain male brunette kept plaguing his mind.

As memories of yesterday flooded back into him, he felt his heart constrict with agony. The feeling of betrayal coursing through his veins.

All this time they were together, he never knew, and even if he there were times that he was being tortured because of extreme curiosity in regards to Mark’s business he never questioned even once, because he trusts and respects the elder’s privacy. Now, Jinyoung felt like a complete and utter fool, and the thought made him furious.

Jaebeom was right all along, he never knew who Mark Tuan truly was.

Jinyoung felt his eyes water at the thought. His head feels heavy, and he hoped that by letting himself cry some more his burdens would somehow lessen. His heart hurts so much that he wanted to rip it out of his chest and throw it right down the drain.

Jinyoung had always felt horrible whenever he knew that a person would lie while looking at him with a straight face, but words couldn’t even begin to describe how sick he’s feeling when the lie comes from someone he truly loved and cared for. 

The literature major curled up in his bed and stayed that way for a couple more hours. His tears had long since dried, but his heart still feels the damning feeling of pain. The softness of his pillows and the warmth of his comforter is calling him to sleep, but reality pulled him back as his empty stomach growled in agony.

He sighed lifelessly and pushed himself up, forcing himself to get ready to attend his afternoon class. He needed that scholarship, and one of the criterias requires him to attend his classes regularly. So, even though his body is yelling at him to go back to bed and get some rest, he couldn’t give in to it’s demands.

He has no other choice but to pull himself together and pick up his pieces, no matter how shattered he may be.

He went inside his shower and stayed more than usual, letting the warm water relax his overly tensed muscles. He got out and wore the first decent clothing that he saw, not caring how he looked. He then hastily gathered his books and carelessly stuffed them into his unwashed bag, which is out of the ordinary for him, as he is usually meticulous with his things and handles each one with care.

As he rummaged under his bag for some cash, he found his phone instead. He slowly took the device to open it, and Jinyoung winced as the photo of him and Mark greeted him instantly.

Memories of that night unwillingly invaded his mind, and it was like salt being poured into his open wounds.

He couldn’t bear to look at the elder’s smiling face any longer, so he threw the phone to his unmade bed, ultimately deciding to refuse any contact with anyone he knew.

He didn’t have the energy and the mood to deal with people right now, and hopefully, no one would try to talk to him at school. His hunger is still very much present however, so Jinyoung decided to pass by the University Cafeteria first before heading to his class. Once he wore his shoes and locked the door, he slowly trudged to the elevator and down to the familiar lobby. He moved into a sluggish pace, but reached the door nonetheless.

As soon as his foot stepped out, however, a sudden memory entered his head.

_‘You’ll be an easy target if you go out there unprotected!’_

Jackson’s alarmed voice rang through Jinyoung’s brain, that he felt like his entire body was suddenly drenched with cold water.

He stopped dead in his tracks and shivers creeped up through his back.

Someone ambushed their car last night, and they knew when and where they should strike. That only meant that Mark’s car had been followed prior to the attack, and even though Jinyoung was not the target, there was no certainty that the thugs didn’t get a glimpse of his face.

The possibility of the ambush happening again almost made Jinyoung turn his heel back towards the safety of his room, but in doing so, the risk of losing his scholarship would increase.

He couldn’t let that golden opportunity pass, not when it’s so damn close to his grip.

That key to his bright future is what made Jinyoung plant his foot firmly into the ground, and ultimately making him decide to move forward.

He took a deep breath and pulled himself together. He had to go, but he needed to be discreet.

Thanking the heavens for making him wear a hoodie, he quickly hiked up the hood in order to conceal his hair, and he started walking with his head down. His eyes shifted towards his surroundings, his body alert for any possible danger.

His usual walk of ten minutes turned into five, as he sped walked inside his campus. A small sense of relief hugged his bones as the familiar buildings surrounded him, and he never felt happier seeing his University and it’s sleep-deprived students.

Jinyoung steeled himself and braved through the motions of the day, almost feeling like everything is back to normal. He did his best to focus on the remaining lectures of the day, and thankfully, it was the distraction that he needed. He was also grateful that no one disturbed him the entire time, and that he can leave as quickly as he came.

Not long after, Jinyoung reached the end of his classes, and he is finally ready to go home. 

As he made his way towards the campus gates, he suddenly felt goosebumps prick his skin.

He felt a presence coming up behind him, and alarm bells started ringing.

Panic bubbled inside Jinyoung, and his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest any minute now. Have they found him? Will they catch up to him? What is he going to do if they do? Will they kill him? Sell his body to other people? Is this the end of him?

Jinyoung had no intention in finding out the answers to his questions, so he broke into a run. It’s amazing how adrenaline and survival instincts can make a person do things beyond his capacity, because right now, Jinyoung felt like he can outrun most of the track team with the speed he’s in.

When Jinyoung thought he got away from whoever was chasing him he slowly went into a halt in order to catch his breath. He anchored his hands towards his knees and bent forward, inhaling every oxygen in the air that he could manage. 

He was finally close to the gates, and he found comfort on the amount of students going in and out of the University. Surely the thugs won’t grab him in the middle of the crowd and publicly kidnap him. Right? 

His breath got caught in his throat however, when his hoodie was swiftly pulled out of his head.

He gasped and quickly turned around, ready to kick the person straight into oblivion.

He managed to stop himself right on time when he saw a familiar face, gasping for air right in front of him.

“P-Professor Namjoon?”

Namjoon smiled tiredly and held out his hand, indicating that he needed more time to catch his breath.

“You... I didn’t know that can run so fast, Park.”

Jinyoung broke from his initial shock and breathed a long sigh of relief as he realized he was out of immediate danger. He scratched the back of his neck out of embarrassment, his heart still hammering loudly in his chest.

“I... thought it was someone else. I’m sorry.”

Namjoon finally gathered his bearings and smiled cheekily. 

“Are you hiding from someone, Park? You ran like your life was dependent on it.”

Jinyoung could only smile awkwardly. 

Oh, if only the professor knew how right he was.

Instead of answering, the younger decided to change the topic.

“Is there something I can help you with, professor?”

Namjoon’s teasing expression changed into a professional smile, suddenly remembering why he ran after the literature student.

“Oh yes! I just wanted to remind you about your novel. It’s due this weekend. If I could have it early for proofreading, it would definitely be helpful.”

Jinyoung cursed silently in his head as he completely forgot about his novel.

He didn’t let himself show his distress to the elder however, because that would not be good for his reputation. So, Jinyoung put on the best fake smile that he had and nodded towards the professor.

“I understand. I’m on the final stages of the last chapter, I’ll be sure to send it to you right away after I’m done.”

Namjoon smiled gratefully and placed an assuring hand to the younger’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to rush. I’m sure it’ll be outstanding. You’re Park Jinyoung, after all.”

The words that the Professor said briefly reminded Jinyoung of how Mark used to say the exact same thing, while he stared at the younger with so much faith. Jinyoung felt faint at the memory.

“Thank you, Professor. I’ll... get going now.”

Namjoon smiled again and waved him off, shouting ‘Fighting!’ as Jinyoung went on his way. 

Remembering that he didn’t have any food back at the dorms he stopped by a convenience store and bought some ramen.

Jinyoung expected that his younger roommate would be back by now, but as he opened the door to their dorm he was only met with silence. Youngjae must still be at school, so Jinyoung decided to wash up in order to start working on his novel. He boiled some water for his ramen and proceeded to open his laptop.

As he read the sentence where he left off he chuckled bitterly to himself, realizing that the theme he was assigned to is hitting too close to home.

The literature major managed to write a single sentence, but soon gave up when his words failed to deliver. He sighed and crawled back straight to his warm bed, instantly feeling a whole lot better.

He felt his phone on his mattress and placed it on top of his bedside table, refusing to open the device even though it kept ringing and vibrating right next to him.

He gazed on the ceiling and willed himself to sleep, but no amount of sheep counting made Jinyoung fall into slumber, as his thoughts were muddled by the sharp curves of Mark’s face.

——

The routine went on like this for the next 3 days: Jinyoung trying to be inconspicuous on the streets and avoiding everyone, going back to his dorms after classes are over and opening his laptop but writing absolutely nothing, lying wide awake at night and continuously being haunted by the face he doesn’t know if he’ll ever stop loving, and being awakened by his nightmares on the off chance he catches some sleep. 

Throughout those days Youngjae never showed up at their dorm, and Jinyoung guessed that the younger might have went back at his hometown again.

Jinyoung lived like a hermit inside his room, he wallowed in self pity and nursed the pain of his broken heart.

On the morning of the fourth day however, Jinyoung’s phone rang way too loudly for his liking, and in his groggy state he unconsciously picked it up and answered the call, waiting for the caller to speak first.

_“Hyung?”_

It took Jinyoung a moment to register who he was talking to.

“Yugyeom?”

_“Hi.”_

Jinyoung groaned as he stretched his body, snuggling the covers closer to him.

“What’s up?”

_“Um... I’m sorry if this is too sudden but, are you okay? We haven’t seen you in a few days now.”_

Jinyoung sighed as newfound tiredness gripped him. 

This is why he didn’t want to pick up his phone, because people would start asking questions about his whereabouts.

“I’m fine. I’m just busy.”

Jinyoung replied curtly, not really in the mood to explain his lack of presence.

_“Jaebeom hyung says you’re not picking up his calls, so I got worried and called you.”_

Jinyoung pinched the bridge of his nose. He is well aware that he’s been ignoring Jaebeom, but he couldn’t talk to him about it yet. He’s still confused and hurt to start talking. 

“I’m fine. I’ll talk to him some other time. I’m just... preoccupied right now, okay?”

Jinyoung was met with silence, and he wondered if he made the younger upset with his vague words. 

He was about to apologize when Yugyeom spoke again, this time in a quieter voice. 

_“Is this about what happened on your birthday, hyung? I know you have the right to be upset, but Mark hyung didn’t mean—-“_

The name only went by in a second, but Jinyoung caught it nonetheless. 

He froze on the spot, and his eyes widened considerably.

“Wait. How do you know about Mark?”

Yugyeom went quiet, and the familiar feeling of dread creeped inside Jinyoung’s stomach.

“Yugyeom.”

_“H-huh?”_

The older heard a shaky breath at the other end of the line. Jinyoung slowly sat up, his free hand unconsciously gripping his sheets tightly.

“You said Mark’s name. I never told told you about him. I made Jaebeom swear not to tell anyone. How do you know his name?”

_“I... I don’t know what you’re talking about, hyung.”_

Jinyoung felt a vein pop right next to his temple, and he slammed down his fists at his bed, fed up with Yugyeom’s feign of innocence.

“Stop that! You obviously know something, so answer my damn question!”

Yugyeom’s reluctance penetrated through the call, and what Jinyoung heard next made his world crumble down under his feet.

_“...Remember when I told you I was adopted by a family? Well... it’s the Tuans... and Mark... He’s... my brother.”_

Jinyoung sat there motionless, the gravity of the younger’s words sliced through him like he was made out of paper. 

_“Oh my god.”_

Jinyoung felt his hands shake, his emotions ranged from shock, to confusion, and then anger. 

Extreme, uncontrollable feelings of rage.

“You _liar_.”

Yugyeom whimpered at the venom laced within Jinyoung’s voice. 

_“Hyung please...”_

The room became instantly hotter, so Jinyoung shoved his sheets off and he stood up abruptly, pacing around his room like a man driven into insanity.

“You’re all liars! First it was Mark, then Jackson, and then you?”

At the mention of the silver haired man Jinyoung stopped pacing as his brain put together an unsettling thought.

“Oh my god. You and Jackson knew about each other even before you met at my party.”

_“Hyung...”_

Jinyoung steadied himself against his table, his hands shaking as he struggled to regulate his breathing with all the things that he painfully discovered.

“You’re also part of that... mafia aren’t you?”

_“Hyung, please...”_

Yugyeom’s voice sounded so broken and remorseful, like a dog that’s been scolded by his owner. Jinyoung raked his hand on his hair, wanting to rip out his hair out of frustration and hurt. 

“You knew about me before we met! Mark sent you to spy on me didn’t he? You became friends with me because of him, didn’t you?”

Jinyoung spouted accusingly, and Yugyeom gasped, feeling hurt that his hyung would even think of such things.

_“That’s not true! I admit, I did know about you because of Mark hyung, but he never told me to spy on you! It was purely coincidence that I met you for the survey! It was my own decision to be friends with you! Hyung has nothing to do with this!”_

Yugyeom explained in desperation, wanting to defend his older brother from Jinyoung’s cruel words, but the elder only laughed sarcastically, refusing to believe a word that the younger is saying.

“Save it, Yugyeom. Don’t ever talk to me again. Don’t even show your face to me on campus, because I never want to be associated with you or your brother again.”

Jinyoung didn’t bother to hear Yugyeom’s frenzied response as he dropped the call unceremoniously. His words were sharp and was definitely meant to inflict damage, but he can never control the venomous words that comes out of him whenever he gets extremely mad, even if most of the times he never truly meant what he said.

He felt sick to his stomach by Yugyeom’s revelation, and he started wondering just how many people did he encounter recently that had a connection to Mark.

Thinking about the possibility that he’s been watched all this time gave him goosebumps. 

With his morning completely destroyed by the phone call, Jinyoung grumpily went ahead and prepared for today’s classes. His mood had been consistently horrible the entire time he’s at the university, giving everyone the cold shoulder and almost lashing out at an unfortunate freshman who bumped him at the hallways.

He knew his behavior was far from his ‘model student’ reputation, but he was not in the mental state to care. 

When he returned late in the afternoon, he prepared his 7th ramen of the week and opened his laptop to attempt writing for his novel.

As he read the part where the main character had to vent out his frustration, Jinyoung gathered all the bitter emotions in his heart and started typing. Words came easily, and sentences flowed seamlessly like a steady stream. Jinyoung sat on his chair for an unhealthy amount of time, his ramen forgotten on the kitchen counter.

The literature major drowned himself through his work, and he wrote everything that his heart had been aching to say.

He was so deep into it that as he was writing, he didn’t realize the tears that were steadily flowing through his eyes, only wiping them with his sweater when it impaired his vision.

When Jinyoung had written the final sentence to his novel it was almost 4am of the next day. He took a deep breath and stared at his work, emotions bubbling up inside him as he recalled his month-long sacrifices just to create the piece. All he has to do now is to send the novel to Professor Namjoon for proofreading and he’ll finally be free. 

Jinyoung saved the file and sent it right away, not forgetting to thank the Professor for his help. Jinyoung closed the laptop and stretched his sore muscles, his mood slightly better after writing his heart out. His stomach grumbled and reached to his now cold ramen, hating the taste but proceeding to finish the contents. 

The literature major decided to call it a night and dragged his body towards the bathroom to brush his teeth then headed straight to his bed. 

Sleep claimed him faster than the previous nights, but that didn’t stop him from dreaming about the strong pair of arms engulfing him into a tight embrace.

——

It was the same dream that woke Jinyoung up the next day, and the younger felt especially exhausted. He felt unnerved and the longing feeling in his chest bothered him greatly.

He decided to pick up his phone to call up Jaebeom, finally deciding that he was ready to talk about what happened to his best friend. 

The phone rang twice, and Jinyoung must’ve guessed that the older is still sleeping, as it’s still way too early. He sighed dejectedly and was about to end the call, until he heard someone speak on the other end.

_“Jinyoung?”_

It wasn’t the fact that Jaebeom answered the call that surprised Jinyoung, rather it was the way he sounded on the phone, like he was already wide awake and moving even before Jinyoung called.

“Hi hyung... I didn’t think you’d answer.”

Jaebeom scoffed, and Jinyoung heard faint sounds of plates being picked up on the background.

_“I could say the same to you. Why haven’t you answered all of my calls and texts? What’s happening to you?”_

Jinyoung sighed as he remembered the reason why he isolated himself from everyone he knew.

“I’m sorry. Something just happened. I needed... some time to think things by myself.”

Jaebeom was clearly disturbed by the way the younger sounded, and his protective instincts towards the younger surfaced.

_“What things? Jinyoung, are you okay?”_

The soothing voice of the elder made Jinyoung’s heart quiver, and fresh tears started forming in his eyes. 

He needed to get this feeling off his chest, and no one would understand him better than his best friend, Jaebeom.

“It’s about—“

_“Hyung! Breakfast is ready!”_

Jinyoung’s ears perked up as he heard a third voice pipe up amidst their conversation, and the voice sounded familiar to the younger. 

Jaebeom stuttered as he responded to the person who called his attention, and the elder cleared his throat before diving back to the matter at hand.

_“S-sorry, what were you saying?”_

Jinyoung had an inkling about who the mystery voice was, and his suspicions were confirmed, as Jaebeom would only get flustered when a certain bright boy was involved. 

“Was that Youngjae that spoke just now?”

_“Um...”_

The reluctance in the elder’s voice was enough answers for Jinyoung. 

He should be surprised, but after experiencing so many mind blowing news the past few days he feels relatively calm.

Still, he couldn’t let the opportunity pass to tease the elder about it.

“Ohoooh. So that’s why the little brat hasn’t shown himself here for a while, he was with you the whole time.”

Jaebeom whined in protest, earning a satisfying smirk from Jinyoung.

_“It’s not what you think! He only came by this morning okay? It was around 1:30 am. I didn’t even know that he was coming ‘till he showed up!”_

Jinyoung raised his eyebrows, curious about what happened.

“Really? What was he doing so late?”

_“I don’t know, he wouldn’t tell me. He just showed up and...”_ Jaebeom paused, contemplating whether or not to tell Jinyoung the rest, before ultimately deciding to go for it, because his stomach had been flipping upside down with so much anxiety that if he doesn’t tell someone about what happened he feels like he’s going to vomit. _“he kissed me.”_

Jinyoung let out a dramatic gasp, highly surprised at his roommate’s bold move.

“He did that? Ohmy! Did you...”

The elder knew what Jinyoung would say next, so he interrupted it and began explaining. 

_“N-No! We didn’t do anything! He came by, but he looked like something bad happened and I couldn’t... take advantage of that.”_

Jaebeom sounded so distraught that Jinyoung couldn’t help but to be concerned as well.

“Oh... Is he okay?”

The elder only sighed.

_“He says he’s fine but I’m not buying it. I’m trying to coax him into telling me, but I remember just how stubborn this guy can be.”_

“More stubborn than you?”

Jinyoung jokingly asked, lifting the depressed mood between them. 

_“You’re the worst out of all us, nyoung.”_

Jinyoung chuckled. It felt nice, talking to his best friend so casually again. 

_“Anyways, back to the topic. What was bothering you?”_

Jinyoung thought twice about his decision. It’s probably not the best time to talk about his problems, not when Jaebeom’s dealing with Youngjae already.

“Nevermind. I’ll tell you another time, okay?”

Jaebeom paused, hesitant to let the topic drop. 

_“Are you sure?”_

“Yeah. Trust me.”

The elder sighed in resignation. He knew better than to try and force the words out of the younger’s mouth. 

If Jinyoung says to trust him, then Jaebeom will do just that. 

_“Okay... but as soon as you’re ready to tell me, I’ll be here to listen.”_

Jinyoung smiled in appreciation.

“I know. Thank you.”

The call ended with some more teasing courtesy of Jinyoung, yelling for the older to use protection. 

Jinyoung felt instantly better after the talk, and he felt energized enough to go out of his dorm and attend his classes. He still continued to tiptoe his way around the campus, but all in all, the day went pretty well for him.

Not long after he was on his way back home, feeling entirely okay, but unexplainably restless.

As Jinyoung opened the door he felt movements coming from the kitchen. He slowly went to the direction of the sounds and found Youngjae rapidly slurping ramen with his back facing the elder.

“Glad to see you alive and well.”

Youngjae jumped at the sudden comment and quickly looked back to see a smirking Jinyoung.

“Hyung! You’re back!”

The older man chuckled and proceeded to remove his jacket and place his bag on the couch, making his way to where Youngjae is currently sitting.

“I could say the same to you. You’ve been gone for a while, where did you go?”

Youngjae shifted in his seat, his head dropped as he stuffed his mouth with some more noodles.

“I... jusht vent howm.”

Jinyoung hummed at that. He opened their mini fridge and took a water bottle. He eyed the younger intently, a devious smile forming on his face.

“So, after you went home, instead of going back here to our lovely dorm, you headed at Jaebeom’s place?”

At the mention of the cafe owner, Youngjae shamelessly coughed some of the noodles out, his face flushed a deep shade of red.

“H-H-How did you...”

Jinyoung smirked. 

“I heard your voice when I called Jaebeom this morning.”

The younger groaned and hid his face on his hands, earning a giggle from Jinyoung. The elder shuffled next to him and pat his shoulder comfortingly, helping to ease his embarrassment.

“No need to be so shy. Though I must admit, I didn’t think you’d be so bold to do that.”

Youngjae only whined in reply and stayed hidden in his sleeves, Jinyoung patting his shoulders softly. 

When he looked up and stared at the elder however, all traces of the shy, flustered boy was gone, and it was replaced with a serious look.

“Hyung... I met Mark Tuan outside our door last time.”

Jinyoung stiffened, his hand frozen mid-air.

“O-oh?”

Youngjae didn’t fail to notice the elder’s change in demeanor. His expression softened and he trekked on the topic lightly, as if he was walking through thin ice.

“He’s... your boyfriend, am I right?”

Jinyoung glanced at the floor, unable to form a coherent answer.

It’s been a few days since he last talked to Mark, and the elder didn’t try to contact him in all those times.

He’s unsure of what they’ve become, of what they are right now. He’s never mentioned about breaking up with Mark, but he couldn’t bear to see the elder’s face at the moment, because the painful feeling of betrayal is still fresh in him. 

Youngjae must’ve sensed the storm raging inside Jinyoung as the younger slowly reached out to hold him, gently ushering him to take a seat.

“Do you want to tell me about what happened?”

Jinyoung had made up his mind about telling Jaebeom everything first, but it wouldn’t hurt to alleviate some of his frustrations out and talk to Youngjae, even if he won’t tell the entire story.

“I just found out that he’s been hiding some... stuff from me, and I feel betrayed.”

Youngjae rubbed soothing circles on Jinyoung’s back, alleviating some of the tension he’s having.

“Did he mean to hide it from you on purpose?”

Jinyoung nodded absentmindedly.

“He said it was meant to... protect me.”

Jinyoung braced himself for the onslaught of questions that the younger would surely have by his weird statement, but oddly enough Youngjae stayed silent, his expression strangely calm.

“Well, do you feel protected?”

Jinyoung sighed, his heart breaking all over again.

“No.”

The elder leaned his head towards the table, his mood turning gloomy.

Nobody spoke for a while, and Jinyoung was contemplating on changing the topic, until Youngjae tapped his shoulder to get his attention. 

“Get your things.”

The older looked at Youngjae quizzically.

“Why?”

“We’re going to go on a little adventure.”

Youngjae grabbed his hand and led him towards their room, motioning him to get ready.

Jinyoung dumbly stood in front of his bed as he watched his roommate rummage through his things.

“Where are we going?”

Youngjae stopped what he was doing to stare at Jinyoung with a mischievous smile on his face.

“It’s a secret, but we’re going to have some fun tonight. You need to loosen up and forget about everything for a while, because I’m pretty sure you became a hermit and locked yourself in here the entire time I was away.”

Jinyoung crossed his arms in front of his chest, frowning at the accusation.

“I did not become a hermit.”

The younger rolled his eyes in response.

“Right. I’ll pretend I didn’t see the shitload of ramen currently stacked up in our trash, then.”

Jinyoung pouted and glared at Youngjae, who is smiling innocently as he fixed his bag.

“You were a lot nicer when you weren’t dating Jaebeom. It was a mistake, setting you both up.”

Youngjae blushed in response as he waited for Jinyoung to get ready. The elder sighed as he picked up a gray hoodie and changed into a dark colored jeans, hoping that the place Youngjae plans on taking him wouldn’t be too cold. 

He didn’t even know why he’s agreeing to this, because normally he would put up a fight and ask more questions in regards to spontaneous plans. Jinyoung figured he’s too tired and too drained to care, plus he’s been itching to do something rather than stay at their dorm and sulk all day, so all in all he’s kinda glad the younger offered to drag him out.

Jinyoung took a body bag and proceeded to put his wallet inside, and when he was about to drop his phone in Youngjae stopped him from doing so.

“Leave your phone behind.”

Jinyoung gave his dongsaeng a questioning look. 

“Why?”

Youngjae smiled sheepishly, scratching his neck in embarrassment.

“We’re going somewhere exciting, and I just want you to live in that moment. It will take away the entire experience if you keep opening your phone. I won’t be bringing mine as well, so we’re even. See?” 

Youngjae then grinned as he showed his phone to the elder, throwing the device to his bed.

Jinyoung felt reluctant to leave his phone, but his roommate looked so eager to cheer him up that he just couldn’t afford to say no. The elder sighed as he repeated the action, earning an excited squeal from Youngjae.

“I’m so excited! We’re going to have so much fun!”

The duo then decided it was time to go to their mysterious adventure. As they head out of their room Jinyoung unconsciously took sight of his reflection on the mirror.

A sudden gleam on his neck area made him stop dead on his tracks. The abrupt motion of the older male made Youngjae stop as well.

“Hyung?”

Jinyoung stared hard at his reflection, his hand trailed up and fiddled with his neck as he located the chain under his skin. He slowly pushed the necklace out, revealing the half of his wing, realizing it became a part of him that he forgot it was even there. 

Seeing the necklace brought new waves of emotions to Jinyoung, and the feelings were so strong and so painful that he felt like breaking down.

He wanted to forget, even if it’s just for a night, and so with shaky hands he unclasped the hinge and removed the necklace, placing it right on his table. The sudden lightness on his neck felt so wrong that he had the sudden urge to wear it again, but he needed to get away from it all, and that necklace was the strongest connection he has with Mark.

He brushed his fingers towards the edges of the wing, reminiscing how Mark looked so radiant as he smiled to Jinyoung when he received the other half of it. Jinyoung wanted to cry right there and then until he felt Youngjae’s hand on his shoulders, pulling him out of his thoughts.

Youngjae gave him a reassuring smile, easing his heavy heart a little.

Jinyoung took deep breaths, nodding firmly as he stared right back to the younger.

“Let’s go.”


	14. Chapter 14

Mark woke up with a stiffed neck and a bounding temple, as if a truck had crashed horribly on his head. The mafia leader groaned heavily and massaged his throbbing forehead, hoping that somehow it would lessen the pain he inflicted upon himself the previous night. 

He should’ve known better that consuming three bottles of whiskey would result to an intense hangover, but honestly, he’s too wrecked inside to care. 

“Feeling any better?”

A voice spoke out of nowhere, and footsteps echoed throughout the room. Suddenly, the curtains were drawn open, light streaming inside the previously dark space. Mark’s head throbbed even more, leaving him no choice but to close his eyes in response. 

“What time is it?”

The fellow continued opening more curtains as well as the windows, welcoming the fresh air into the heavy atmosphere.

“Almost 1pm. I tried to wake you up earlier, but judging at how much you drank last night, I‘m not surprised that you didn’t even move a muscle.”

When the elder‘s vision slowly adjusted to the light well enough to see, his eyes were met with the aftermath of his drinking. 

Clothes were displayed everywhere, some on the floor and others hung haphazardly on the table. His usually organized folders were scattered messily across the room, and the night lamp he uses during late-night works lay grimly on the floor.

Empty bottles of whiskey huddled close to his bed, and some of his pillows were spread messily across it.

Needless to say, his bedroom looked trashed. 

Mark paused as memories of last night came crashing back at him, eventually remembering the reason why he made the decision to drown himself in alcohol. 

*

_Numbness was the only thing that Mark felt as he made his way towards his car, each step slower than the last._

_Jinyoung refused to talk to him._

_The elder had hoped that the younger would at least hear him out and let him explain, but the latter never stepped out no matter how much he pleaded. Mark even tried to linger in his_ _doorstep long after Youngjae — his roommate that the elder now met unexpectedly — had gone inside, hoping that Jinyoung would crack open the door even if it’s only to check whether the elder had finally left._

_He didn’t._

_Mark knew that he couldn’t force Jinyoung to forgive him, because the things that he discovered that night is_ _too much to take in all at once. He understood why the younger wouldn’t want to face him anytime soon, or maybe, never at all._

 _He could only hope that Jinyoung chooses to be left alone for now, because if the younger decides to leave_ _him, well... Mark wouldn’t know what to do._

_The mafia leader turned the ignition of his car and started driving away from the building. He tried to focus on the road ahead of him, but the pained expression of his lover kept replaying in his mind like a broken record._

_How did it come to this?_

_Is his life so damn miserable that the Universe just has to fuck up his only reason of happiness?_

_What can he do to fix this?_

_Will he keep on trying to talk to Jinyoung, call his number? Text him?_

_Or, will he leave the younger alone, let him process all the news first and then try again for another time?_

_If he finally faced Jinyoung again, will he even accept the elder after all this?_

_Barrage of questions invaded the Mafia Leader’s head, his focus on the road slowly dissipating as he continued_ _drowning on his own thoughts. It was when he heard a horn blaring loudly that he realized where he was at and what he was doing at the moment._

_Mark noticed his car swerving dangerously outside the lane, and he cursed silently as he immediately gripped the wheel, repositioning his car in order to avoid colliding into anyone._

_A small breath of relief escaped him, and not long after his phone started ringing._

_Mark’s heart started thumping heavily, hope blooming in his chest. He scrambled to fish his phone out of his pocket and immediately answered the call without hesitation._

_“Jinyoung?!”_

_“What the hell are you doing?! You almost crashed at the sidewalk!”_

_A rough voice cracked aggressively through the device, and the small hope that Mark had slowly simmered from his body._

_“Jackson...”_

_“Stop the car. Now.”_

_The phone call ended abruptly and Mark did what he was told. He parked at the side and waited as another vehicle approached from behind._

_Not long after, there was a knock on his window._

_Mark glanced and saw Jackson standing outside, his face contorted in_ anger.

_The elder slowly lowered his window pane, and the silver haired man was ready to scream about how an accident could’ve happened with the elder’s recklessness, hierarchy be damned. However, when Jackson’s eyes gazed at the elder’s fragile state, he knew right away that it was not the time to berate him._

_The blonde could only sigh in resignation._

_“Move over, I’m driving.”_

_Mark remained quiet and opened the door, letting Jackson step inside. The elder moved to the passenger’s seat, ultimately leaning his head against the_ _window._

_Jackson adjusted himself and started driving, more than willing to go home and end the horrible night._

_The elder had expected questions from Jackson, but surprisingly, the usually talkative man remained quiet the entire time. Mark knew that the younger was itching to say something judging by how much he glanced on the elder’s way, but Jackson always knew his boundaries, and Mark is grateful for that._

_The elder is thankful for the silence, because he’s certain that his voice would betray what he felt the moment he started speaking._

_They arrived at the compound not long after, and Mark stayed on his seat for a few more minutes before opening the door to get out. He needed to compose himself in front of his men, because any act of weakness will be held against him.  
_

_Mark remained stoic as he walked through the door, Bambam following close behind. Most of his men had already left, but there are some_ who _still lingered within the vicinity._

_The elder had hoped he could just go straight to his room and suffer silently, but of course, his men still needed their Leader._

_As if on cue, a group of men approached Mark, bowing in respect towards the Leader._

_“Good evening, Boss. Do you have a moment?”_

_Mark stared at the man smirking in front of him and inwardly groaned, already hating the upcoming interaction._

_“What is it, Heechul?”_

_Kim Heechul is a man with an iron fist. He has been a member of the organization ever since he was a child, and he had always favored Raymond_ _Tuan above everyone else. Growing up in a harsh world he had slowly developed into a more sinister person, his cruel ways and unforgiving manner made him earn the late mafia leader’s attention. Heechul reveled in destruction and chaos, so it was no surprise that he detested Mark’s deviation from tradition when he stepped up as the new Leader. Mark had expected the elder to leave right after he took the mantle of his father, but Heechul remained loyal to the Organization._

_Although that was the case, Heechul still didn’t favor him, and the elder wouldn’t hesitate to show how much he disliked the younger every time they meet, much to Mark’s displeasure._

_“I have received news that our shipment from London has been delayed without our knowledge. Do you have time to discuss this matter with me?”_

_Mark paused as he tried to recall what the elder was talking about._

_“Is this the shipment that contains our smuggled cars?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Mark gave a small sigh of frustration, the action went unnoticed to the elder._

_“Can this wait until tomorrow? The buyers won’t be expecting it till the end of next month, anyways. We have time to settle this later.”_

_The mafia leader had expected some protest, but the elder only smirked, as if he already knew what Mark’s response would be._

_“Oh? Why wait for tomorrow when we can settle it today? Did something happen, Boss?”_

_Heechul’s eyes glinted dangerously, his tone clearly mocking the younger. Mark knew right away that the elder was referring to what happened earlier, and his anger flared up instantly.  
_

_He gritted his teeth and gave a cold glare in_ _return, his body tensed and rigid._

_“It’s none of your business.”_

_The elder laughed in amusement, fueling Mark’s irritation even more. The atmosphere around them suddenly became hostile, and the two engaged into a stare down, both refusing to look away._

_Bambam looked alarmed and was about to step in to prevent a fight from happening, but Heechul had already conceded, his hands raised up in surrender._

_“You’re the boss. We can talk about this tomorrow.”_

_Mark visibly relaxed as Heechul bowed together with his men, the tensed atmosphere slowly dissipating._

_The group started leaving, but before the elder had gone out of the door completely, he turned around and stared back to the younger, a sinister smile playing on his face._

_“By the way, a word of advice. A tainted man should keep his hands t_ o _himself. You’re only causing pain when you try to hold on to what you don’t deserve.”_

_The words rang loudly in Mark’s ears, and when the door closed right after, his walls started crumbling down. Bambam must have sensed his distress, because the younger walked close to him and gently escorted him upstairs._

_As soon as Mark entered his room he felt his energy drain out of him. He sat down on the floor right next to his bed, sighing loudly in frustration._

_“Do you want anything, hyung?”_

_Bambam inquired quietly, his voice soft and full of worry._

_Mark smiled bitterly, his thoughts going back to certain raven haired man._

_‘No one can give me what I want.’_

_The mafia leader raked his hand on his hair, ultimately deciding that he wanted to stop thinking for a while, and he knows just how to do that._

_He stared at the thai in front of him, the light in his eyes slowly dimming._

_“Whiskey. Lots of it.”_

_Bambam winced but followed the_ _request nonetheless, returning minutes after with hands full of whiskey. Mark requested to be alone, and not long after he started gulping down the alcohol, Heechul’s words replaying in his head like a mantra._

_“A tainted man should keep his hands to himself.”_

_Ever since the beginning, Mark knew that his life had been different from the others. He had seen and experienced_ _darkness that he couldn’t even begin to describe, and he had accepted the reality that blood would always be on his hands._

_He knew that he couldn’t get out of this life, because leaving would mean fighting a war not only with his organization, but also others who‘s waiting to see him crash and burn. He knew he couldn’t run away from his horrors, but is it really such a crime for someone like him to taste something so pure such as love?_

“You’re only causing pain when you try to hold on to what you don’t deserve.”

_Mark had been a fool. He knew from the beginning that loving an ordinary person would be dangerous, and yet, he let himself fall for Jinyoung. The elder thought that hiding the younger in the shadows would keep him safe, but he’s done the exact opposite of that._

_He hallowed this to happen, and now, he’s reaping the consequences of actions._

_Now, because of him, Jinyoung’s simple life is ruined forever, and what’s worse is that his life might possibly be in danger from now on._

_Heechul is right, a tainted man like him doesn’t deserve to be in love, and to get loved in return._

_Mark was born as a monster, and he will always be that way, no matter how much he tries to deny it._

_It was that realization that pushed Mark to drink till he couldn’t anymore, and the last thing he remembered was crying all over the hard, marble floor,_ _uttering a single name over and over again._

*

Mark winced as another wave of pain hit his temple.

“Here. This should keep it calm for a while.”

Bambam — who Mark finally recognized — trudged towards the mafia leader, holding a pill and a glass of water in his hand. 

The elder slowly sat up from his bed, realizing that someone — most probably Jackson — carried him from the floor where he ultimately passed out on. He gave a small nod of appreciation in the younger’s direction, swallowing the medicine and then drinking the contents of the glass, quenching the dryness that scratched his throat. Mark placed the glass down to his bedside table and settled back into his bed. He wanted to catch some more sleep today as his tired mind is begging him for rest, but one look at his bodyguard’s rigid posture made him realize he wasn’t about to hit the hay anytime soon.

Mark sighed and soothed his head, massaging his temples yet again.

“Is there something that you want to tell me, Bam?”

At the sound of his name, Bambam flinched at his spot. 

“...I know this isn’t the right time, but...”

Mark observed as the younger internally struggle on whether to talk or not. The reluctance in the younger’s voice did not help with the elder’s patience; he was too tired, too hungover, and too damn heartbroken to even function like a decent human being at the moment.

He really didn’t want to lash out at the person who took the time to check up on him, so Mark heaved a deep breath and slowly exhaled before flashing the younger a stern look, indicating that he couldn’t wait any longer.

“Bambam. Just tell me.”

The thai paused for a few moments before ultimately deciding to speak up.

“Well, when we got back from Jin— I mean the... student dorms last night, our men who were tracking down the cars who ambushed you came back.”

Mark instantly became alert. His posture straightened from his bed, his eyes staring heavily at the younger.

“And?”

Bambam sighed.

“They lost the trail.”

“Fuck!”

Mark cursed loudly and his fists came contact with the mattress, the rage that he felt the night before came creeping back up to his stomach.

“...That’s not all.”

The mafia leader stared at his bodyguard, who now looks disturbed as he delivers more bad news.

“Just this morning, some of our compounds were attacked at the same time.”

Mark felt his stomach drop at the information. The throbbing in his head increased tenfold, and he closed his eyes in frustration. 

“How big is the damage? Were there any casualties?”

“They broke in to some of our warehouses, trashed some windows, stole a few of our weapons. They hadn’t managed to completely raid our territories, because our men were ready for any ambush.”

Mark nodded in understanding, relieved that they were more prepared this time around.

“Were you able to discover who was behind the raid?”

“Jackson and I gathered information from our compounds, and from what we’ve taken, we believe that the attacks was ordered from a single organization.”

Mark paused as he racked his brain to form coherent thoughts. This attack had been right after the attempted ambush, and there’s no doubt in his mind that the two were connected. The mafia leader started listing off the possible enemies behind this, but he couldn’t find an organization stupid enough to threaten his life.

His mind then traced back to the recent attacks, and it was then that the sudden realization dawned upon him. 

There had only been one group that had continuously caused chaos in the shadows, and their intentions still remained unknown to Mark. 

His gaze locked unto Bambam, who was waiting for him to put the pieces together.

“Is it...”

Bambam sighed, nodding his head in confirmation.

“This is the same organization that waged war on us.”

The information slowly sank into Mark’s brain. He cursed as he realized that he couldn’t just lay down on the bed anymore. The elder pulled the covers away and stood abruptly, but a sudden wave nausea hit his body, forcing him to rush towards the bathroom in order to hurl the acidic contents out of his stomach.

Bambam grimaced as he stepped in besides his hyung, stroking his back in attempts of comfort.

“You can just stay in, hyung. We can handle things for now.”

Mark groaned and flushed the toilet, his head still spinning that he had to lean in the toilet bowl for support.

“No, I need to be there. I have to see this through and find out who they are and what they want.”

Bambam looked concerned as the elder faced the bowl again, vomiting loudly for the second time.

“Are you sure? You can just call in sick today. I’m sure they won’t mind.“

Mark shook his head violently, his chest heaving and his stomach churning from too much vomiting. When he felt like he had spilled all of the alcohol out, he finally stood up from his uncomfortable position in order to stretch his aching muscles. 

“I have to be there. I can’t afford to lie here all day just because...” Mark sighed and ran his shaky hands on his disheveled hair. “...Just— let me work. I need to.”

Bambam can only stare helplessly as Mark reached towards the sink in order to wash his face and brush his teeth. He then staggered his way out of the bathroom and back to his room, where he changed into clothes more appropriate for his status as a Mafia leader, and not some broken-hearted, damaged young man.

The elder then proceeded to the door, Bambam wordlessly following behind him. Mark paused as he gripped the handle, taking deep breaths to gather his bearings.

The throbbing ache in his chest is fresh, and judging by the looks that his young bodyguard has been giving him the entire time, the pain he’s been feeling is manifesting quiet heavily on his face.

The elder shut his eyes, repeating the thoughts he’s been having over and over in his head.

_‘Stop thinking about him. Jinyoung doesn’t want to be with you anymore.’_

The elder schooled his expression into indifference as he opened the door. Two men were standing right besides it, bowing their heads in greeting once they spotted him. Mark gave a curt nod in their direction before heading towards the hallway to reach the stairs.

He may have looked calm on the outside, but on the inside he was panicking. 

He had completely forgotten about the bodyguards posting in his room last night. Were they there when he had a breakdown yesterday? Did they hear him? What will they think?

Mark urged himself to remember, but the more he tries to think about it, the more his head ached. 

The worry must seeped in into Mark’s controlled expression, because Bambam whispered next to him.

“If you’re wondering, I told the guards to leave early last night. They don’t know anything.”

Mark heaved a huge breath of relief that he didn’t even know he was holding the entire time. He gave the younger a tired yet grateful smile, greatly appreciating his dongsaeng’s thoughtfulness.

“Thank you.”

Bambam hummed in response, and the duo proceeded to head down unto the first floor. Seeing the living room void of any broken glass and spilled wine made Mark think that the events that transpired last night were only figments of his imagination. 

He wanted to believe nothing happened, but the constant ache in his chest told him otherwise. Everything he tried to drown out with alcohol came crashing back at him.

Jinyoung is gone, and he won’t be coming back to him.

The harsh reality that he had to face makes him want to get drunk yet again. Mark heaved a ragged sigh as he located the closest alcohol to him. He took a glass and poured himself a drink, ignoring the looks of disapproval from his young bodyguard.

Not long after, various footsteps quickly entered the vicinity, and Mark found himself staring unto the face of Jackson, who is followed by his team not far behind.

“Boss, my team is ready for combat anytime. What are your orders?”

Mark sipped his whiskey and quietly observed Jackson under his glass. The younger man looks like he isn’t faring well himself.

His eyes were bloodshot, and his hair was disheveled. He looked like he stayed up all night, and Mark knows that he did. He knows Jackson well enough that he has been beating himself overnight, thinking so lowly of himself like always whenever he thinks he fucked up.

Usually when Jackson goes into that sort of mood, the elder would be the one to talk him out of it. This time however, Mark knows he couldn’t say anything, because he fucked up as well.

This isn’t the time to dwell with personal emotions however, because there were more pressing matters to attend to. 

As a Leader, Mark couldn’t let his feelings get him distracted.

Not anymore.

“This has gone for far too long. The attacks this morning will be the last.” Mark glanced back at Bambam, who is now standing in attention. “I want you to call JunK and ask him if he can come down here in Korea. We need their help more than ever.”

Bambam nodded swiftly and exited, phone already clutched in his hand as he started punching numbers. Mark’s shifted his gaze towards Jackson, who sported a serious expression.

“The people who ambushed us last night has yet to be caught. I want them found and be delivered to me as soon as possible.”

The blonde nodded in understanding and his team started heading out of the premises in order to start their mission. Mark watched as Jackson slowly trailed behind them, and he couldn’t help but to call the younger out.

“Jacks!”

The man slowly turned his gaze towards the mafia leader, who’s eyes were piercing heavily at him. 

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

Mark knew how badly Jackson wanted to prove himself to the elder, and with the recent events that happened he could only guess how much the blonde would sacrifice just to mark this mission a success. Even though Mark knows how capable Jackson is, he couldn’t help but worry, because this mission is important and very personal to the elder, and the younger is well aware of that fact.

Jackson eyes flickered with emotions before shifting back into his stoic gaze, nodding his head in understanding. 

Mark could only watch his close friend— brother, even — slowly walk away, hoping that the younger would follow his advice to be careful this time around. 

As Mark continued to mull over the safety of his friend, Bambam came back to his side after ending the call with their allied group.

“Boss, JunK-hyung agreed to help us. He says that they’ll be here after 4 days, they just needed to finish up with their jobs first.”

Mark nodded in understanding and exited the building, Bambam following behind him. The duo proceeded to their base compound, where their men were gathered for the day.

The men stopped what they were doing as their Leader approached, ready to hear what he had to say. 

Mark stood right in front of everyone, taking deep breath as he began to speak.

“Men, these past few weeks have been quite... surprising for all us, especially since we’ve had been the receiving end of strange attacks from an unknown group.”

Quiet glances were thrown around the room, the mention of the attacks tensing everyone present.

“I know from the slowness of progress you’ve probably thought I’ve given up, and I’ll admit, the past few weeks I’ve been distracted. I’ve definitely been lackluster, and my attitude were directed somewhere... different.”

Murmurs started spewing across the room, surprise evident in their faces by the sudden confession from their Leader.

“But, I’ve come to the realization that my attention and my life must only be dedicated to this organization, and to all of you. This time, I won’t let any more mistakes happen, and I won’t let some unnamed, irrelevant group trample all over our pride as The Tiger Lily Mafia.”

Hums of agreement were heard, pushing Mark to continue talking. 

“We are all carrying the symbol of our proud group, so I expect the same enthusiasm from all of you. With that in mind, our main priority this time would be taking down that group. No one will rest until we figure out who they are.” 

Mark stared as his men bounced excitedly off their feets, fire igniting within then because of their Leader’s words. 

“We will track them, find out what they want, and crush them mercilessly under our feet. Am I understood?” 

Series of yells and cheers echoed throughout the building, the morale of his members heightened exceptionally well. 

Mark watched as the crowds started chanting his name, and the sounds reverberated throughout his gut.

The elder’s eyes stopped at Heechul, who looked visibly pleased with his every word.

It was then that he felt something dark clawing forcefully inside his gut, the sensation igniting the nerves within him. His body suddenly felt restless, and his heart started beating uncontrollably in his chest, like he’s preparing for a race that would start at any minute.

Mark instantly knew what he’s feeling at the moment, because this is something that he has tried so hard to control for far too long.

Bloodlust.

This time, however, he couldn’t find any reason to hold it back any longer.

Why should he, when it’s who he is this entire time?

He’s been keeping this monster on a leash from breaking loose his entire life, and for the first time ever, he didn’t want it to stop.

With that thought, the chains that held it down started breaking, one by one.

And then, he lets go.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for all of you, because I’m feeling generous today (⌒▽⌒)
> 
> Reading your comments makes me happy. I’m glad to know that people enjoy this fic ＾＾

Jinyoung speculated different places in regards to their destination that night, but Youngjae bringing him to a Carnival was the least of his expectations.

The elder wasn’t even sure how they got to Gyeryong — a city located an hour away from Seoul — so quickly; Time had passed so abruptly, because one moment he was strapping himself on the passenger’s seat of Youngjae’s car, and the next thing he knew he was violently being shook awake by the younger, declaring that they have finally arrived. He wasn’t even aware that he slept the entire journey there. 

Then again, Jinyoung couldn’t really blame himself for not staying awake for more than 2 seconds, he hasn’t had a proper sleep for atleast a week now. 

The elder still feels groggy when he got out of the car as per Youngjae’s request, but all of that drowsiness faded away when he saw the magic laid out in front of him. 

The carnival is ginormous; It’s situated at one of the hills that the City owns and is built on. Colorful lights hugged the entire vicinity, giving the place it’s festive feel. Varieties of rides sprawled in every direction, ready for eager passengers to drive their adrenalines through the roof. Parlor Games were stationed at every corner, and game masters screamed in enthusiasm, encouraging the crowd to try their luck. Echoes of laughter and fun were heard everywhere, and the pathways were swarming with people; families, couples, and groups of friends scattered throughout the vicinity, their faces full of smiles and their bodies enjoying some rest and recreation.

“Jae-ah, this is...” 

Jinyoung’s words died in his mouth as he continued to marvel at the sight. 

It’s been years since he last stepped foot into a carnival, the last one he went into was when he was still a kid, probably when he was ten years old.

Youngjae grinned as he snaked his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulders, shaking the older man out of his reverie. 

“I heard from one of my classmates that Gyeryong is having a carnival for their town festival the entire week. My original plan was for us to go together with Beomie-hyung and Gyeomie, but I figured we could go first. So, do you like it? It’s amazing, right?”

The elder glanced at the excited expression of his roommate, and a rush of adoration and gratefulness towards the younger swarmed his body.

“I love it Youngjae. Thank you so much.”

Youngjae bounced on his feet like an excited puppy, making Jinyoung laugh at his antics.

“I’m so glad you liked it! There’s a lot of rides I want to try! I’m so excited! Let’s get inside now, hyung!”

Jinyoung chuckled quietly as he let the younger drag him towards the carnival, excitement also bubbling up inside him. 

——

Youngjae was not kidding around when he declared that he wanted to try all of the rides, as Jinyoung could not keep up with the child-like energy of the younger. The elder was sure that in the span of an hour and a half — maybe more, Jinyoung forgot — , they’ve almost covered more than half of the rides that the place has to offer. 

“Hyung! Let’s get on to the next one!”

Jinyoung took a deep breath and stared incredulously at Youngjae’s unending energy. They just got out of the freakishly intimidating and equally nauseating roller coaster, and while the younger looked unaffected by their recent ride, Jinyoung was the complete opposite: his hands were clammy, his throat feels dry from screaming, and his body still feels the effects of the terrifying loops that the ride had.

He whined lowly as he calmed himself down in order to prevent an extremely gross and embarrassing situation, like spilling the contents of his late lunch out of his stomach and into the concrete where they currently stand on. 

“Can we rest for a while, Jae? I feel like my guts are about to come out of my body because of that death ride.” 

Jinyoung rubbed his belly slowly, hoping that the younger would notice his distressed face and take pity on him.

Youngjae laughed as he stared at his pale-looking hyung, nodding his head in agreement. 

“Sure thing, hyung! Why don’t we take a seat somewhere? All this activity is making me hungry anyways.”

The duo walked around for a while and found a semi-secluded area at the far end of the carnival. They situated themselves next to a giant Oak tree, it’s branches decorated with bright fairy lights. There’s a few people scattered around the place, most likely resting their bodies just like what they are about to do.

Jinyoung plopped down next to the tree and laid his body down on the cool grass, sighing contentedly as he can finally rest his sore feet and calm his swirling stomach.

“I’m just going to buy some snacks. Do you want anything, hyung?”

Jinyoung pondered having some burger but ultimately thought against it when he felt his stomach twist in an uncomfortable way. 

“No, thanks. I don’t think my tummy can hold down some food yet. Water, maybe?”

Youngjae smiled and held up an ok sign.

“Alright. I’ll be back!”

Jinyoung watched as the younger slowly disappeared towards the chaos. He directed his gaze at the lights hovered above him, quietly thinking to himself how magnificent they looked. Slowly, he extended his arm above, splaying his fingers and watched as the lights went past in between.

The past few hours had been an absolute treat; He can’t recall the last time he’s allowed himself to let go like that and enjoy the moment. 

Being a scholar with high expectations from others really weighed down on him. The fears of failure and disappointment that he’d face if he won’t succeed kept nagging at him all the time that along the way, he’d completely forgotten how to have fun.

He’s glad that Youngjae gave him this trip because at the moment, he felt completely serene; his usually thought-filled mind clear of any worries and anxieties, and his heartbeat thrums steadily in his chest as his gaze locked on the lights perched above him.

He hasn’t felt that peaceful in a while, and it feels amazing.

The peace didn’t linger for long when sounds of laughter broke into the air, and Jinyoung’s eyes automatically travelled towards the source. Two men were laughing at each other; one was holding a camera and taking a photo of the other, who in turn was swatting the object away out of embarrassment. It was clear as day to Jinyoung that the relationship they had weren’t just friends, because he could easily recognize the look of endearment decorating the face of the man holding the camera —— it was the same look that Mark would give him every time.

Another bark of laughter from the couple made Jinyoung tear his gaze away from them, and the familiar pang that he’d been having the past few days resurfaced in his chest.

He cursed himself again and again, hating the fact that he had to be reminded of the painful reality, when he had been doing so well in forgetting about a certain CEO. 

He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair, frustrated and hurt at the same time.

“Stupid. You’re such an idiot, Jinyoung.”

He clutched his chest and punched his breastbone repeatedly, hoping that in doing so, his heart would take the hint that he’s hurting, and that it would finally stop torturing him with uttering that single name every time it beats again, and again. 

“Hyung? Are you okay?”

Jinyoung raised his head and found Youngjae standing in front of him, his arms armed with food and his eyes laced with concern. 

The elder sighed and nodded solemnly, feeling the slight sting he inflicted in his chest.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

The look on the elder’s face made Youngjae think otherwise, but said nothing else and sat next to the elder, passing him the water he requested.

Jinyoung muttered a small ‘thank you’ and took a sip, letting the cool liquid quench his thirst away. 

“Did you have fun today, hyung?”

The literature major nodded as he flashed the younger with a grateful smile.

“I did. Although, I didn’t expect that you’d be so eager to try everything. I had to pause and pray for my life and safety for a couple of times today. ”

The elder gave a teasing look at the younger’s direction, making him smile sheepishly in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, hyung. It’s been a long time since I got into a carnival like this. My nana used to bring me to these places a lot, and, I guess I just miss it.”

Jinyoung noticed the solemnity laced within Youngjae’s tone, and the elder observed the younger as his eyes trailed into the distance. 

Family isn’t really a taboo topic for the both of them, but Jinyoung could probably count the amount of times they’d breached that conversation with his one hand.

The elder had once asked about the younger’s family history out of curiosity, but the details that were given to him were vague and shallow — Youngjae is an only child who has an extremely busy Father and Stepmother. His mother had been absent his entire life and he was raised by a Nanny, his ‘Nana’ whom he loved dearly — and when Jinyoung asked more about his childhood, Youngjae’s expression turned sour and he became guarded, announcing that he’s tired and wanted to turn in for the night.

That’s when the elder realized that the younger isn’t all that comfortable with talking about his family. After that, Jinyoung tried his best not to bring it up.

The elder assumed that this is one of those moments to keep quiet and let the topic die down, but the younger thought otherwise, because he kept on talking.

“I remember this one time when I was a kid, the Mokpo government decided to hold a carnival just like this one in the City for the festival. I was so excited to go there, but my Dad didn’t allow me to leave the house. Of course, I cried and sulked the entire afternoon because that carnival was only staying for three days. My Nana saw how much I wanted to see it. She took pity on me and told me we were going to go, but we had to make it a secret.”

Jinyoung smiled as he silently observed Youngjae talk, the fondness of the memory visible in his features. 

“Did you go?”

“Oh definitely. We waited for my Dad and Stepmom to leave for the day, and we sneaked out and climbed at the backyard. When we got there, I was so mesmerized by the rides and the food. I remembered dragging my Nana to all the rides I could manage, and I’m pretty sure I gave her a heart attack back then just like I did to you.”

Youngjae chuckled quietly and Jinyoung found himself doing the same, enamored by the way the younger spoke about his Nanny.

“She sounds wonderful. I hope you’re not giving her too much heart attacks now, I don’t think she’d handle it anymore.”

Jinyoung lightly teased and bumped his shoulder to the younger. Youngjae chuckled quietly, before looking up to the sky with a sad smile on his face.

“Well, I could... if she’s still here with me.”

Jinyoung eyes widened in shock.

“I-I’m sorry...”

Youngjae laughed as he stared at the elder, who was at loss on what to say. The younger shook his head no before flashing an amused smile in his way.

“It’s fine hyung, you don’t have to say that. It’s not like she’s dead or anything. She just... moved on, maybe to start her own family. If she’s happy out there somewhere, then I’m happy for her, too.”

Jinyoung didn’t speak after that and the duo lulled into a comfortable silence. They let the excited murmurs of everyone around them flow throughout their ears, and the atmosphere felt serene again.

Jinyoung felt himself getting drowsy by the soft breeze hitting his skin, and with the combined exhaustion from previous nights and their spontaneous trip today, his eyelids started fluttering.

The elder was on the verge of falling asleep when all of a sudden, he heard Youngjae speak.

“Hyung?”

Jinyoung hummed in response, his mind already preparing a visit to his dreamland.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“How did you and Mark Tuan meet?”

Jinyoung’s sleep muddled-mind was instantly alert, as if hearing that name alone ignited the life inside of him.

He didn’t have to think hard about the answer, because his mind can still vividly recall the events of their first encounter, as if it just happened yesterday.

*

_Jinyoung’s eyes scanned the open area dutifully as he searched for the sign that said ‘FRESHMEN’. He, and almost all of the newly enrolled students in the University had been called into the park for an initiation lead by the higher years._

_Normally, Jinyoung wouldn’t even bat an eyelash at these kinds of things, because he could get away from social gatherings without feeling guilty back at his hometown. However, Seoul had proven to be difficult for him the past few days he’s arrived, so he understood that the threat of ‘If you skip, get ready to live in hell in your entire stay’ would be legit, and Jinyoung would very much stay away from any kinds of problems in the duration of his studies._

_Once he had located his place in the sea of freshmen, the initiation began not long after._

_It had been ridiculou_ s _and completely unnecessary, in his opinion, because the higher years decided that they would hold an interesting talent show for the ‘fresh meat’._

_The rules were simple: The show would be held in five batches with five freshmen participants each, chosen via number that was given to them. The freshmen would showcase their talents for 2 minutes, and the audience would pick which one performed best._

_If that isn’t embarrassing enough, the sophomores announced that the freshman needed to pick a partner to perform with. So, not only would the freshman think of some ridiculous talent to come up with, he also has to go around and embarrassingly ask for someone who would willingly participate to go on the stage with them. The winners of each batch would then receive prize money for great efforts and quality entertainment._

_It’s outrageous, and definitely shameful for the freshman! Jinyoung would die if he ever gets picked to participate at something like that._

_He can only hope that Lady Luck would be by his side, so he can just stand there at the shadows and watch as the entire shenanigans unfold, then he can get it over with and go home to finish unpacking his things._

_But alas, Lady Luck has betrayed him and called him a fool, because at the 5th and last batch of participants, his number got called._

_‘Goddamn it, why am I so unlucky?!’_

_Jinyoung cursed himself as he maneuvered the hallways of the campus, eyes searching for a possible partner. The sophomores instructed that they only have 15 minutes to find the person that they need and come back, because if they go beyond the designated time, they’d have to run_ _around the campus with only their underwear as a punishment._

_‘That’s so ridiculous! Were they even allowed to do that to a fellow student? What even is this school?’_

_Jinyoung continued muttering under his breath as he scanned the people loitering around the hallways. So far he’s asked three people, and while he can be real convincing with his words at times, they really didn’t take him seriously in the end because of how embarrassing his request is._

_The literature major glanced at his watch and almost shrieked out loud when he realized he has wasted at least 10 minutes of running around aimlessly._

_‘I have to find someone! I definitely can’t leave my mark in this campus as the guy who ran in his underwear!’_

_Jinyoung broke into a sprint as his eyes followed a person he can probably ask, and he tried his best not to lose sight of the target._

_His gaze focused solely on that person’s back that he didn’t realize that another person is heading his way._

_The collision was so harsh and unexpected that Jinyoung wasn’t able to balance his feet on time, causing him to fall on the floor in shock._

_“Ow!”_

_Jinyoung whined at the impact and immediately tried to relieve the pain on his aching butt by rubbing it repeatedly.  
_

_Annoyance started bubbling up inside him, and he decided to give the jerk a piece of his mind._

_“Watch where you’re going, ass—”_

_Barrage of insults were ready to leave his tongue, but when he looked up to glare at the offender for extra measure and dramatic effect, his words choked up in his throat._

_“I’m sorry, are you okay?”_

_The man standing in front of him looked other wordly._

_The man is wearing a black suit that screamed wealth and power, and the young freshmen quietly roamed his eyes around his frame. The suit looks amazing on him, and it perfectly hugged his body in the most flattering way. He wasn’t overly muscular, but his body is lean and toned enough that Jinyoung could tell he worked out a lot._

_His blonde hair is styled into a slick back, exposing his forehead that_ _framed his features sharply. His face looked small and proportionate, his nose slanted highly and his jaw chiseled to perfection. His lips were plush and inviting, and Jinyoung had to swallow as he gazed at them for far longer than necessary._

_His eyes were wide and innocent looking, and it’s full of worry at the moment that Jinyoung couldn’t help but be mesmerized by it._

_Damn, this man should be placed in a museum, he’s literally a walking art._

_“Uhh, excuse me... Did you just call me ‘Art’?”_

_He just said that out loud.  
_

_Crap._

_Jinyoung stumbled messily as he stood up from where he was splayed on._ _He felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment, and the expression of worry that was plastered on the handsome man’s face before slowly morphed into amusement, making it entirely difficult for Jinyoung to breath properly._

_“I-I’m sorry! Forget I said anything!”_

_Jinyoung bowed quickly and turned around, hoping that he could go and find a good soil to bury into in order to prevent from crossing paths with that alluring man that he royally embarrassed himself with ever again.  
_

_However, in his lucid mind the impending doom of being in his underwear in front of the entire student body reminded him that he did_ _not have time to search for someone else, and this man may be his last chance in saving himself from that horrible situation._

_‘No! I just embarrassed myself in front of him! I can’t face him again!’ His inner voice reminded him._

_‘If that’s the case, then I hope you have a decent underwear when you flash your jewels in front of everyone.’ Another voice spoke._

_Shit, he might be going crazy._

_In the end, the horror of being nude in public eventually won the argument._

_Jinyoung internally grumbled with his tragic fate as he took a deep breath and turned back around. He expected that the man had already left and that Jinyoung had to chase him down, so it took him by surprise when he saw the man still standing there, staring at him with a smile._

_“Is there something you need?”_

_Jinyoung gulped as he registered the deep voice of the man, shivers running lightly in his body._

_“Um... I know this is going to sound crazy, but I really need your help with something.”_

_The man tilted his head cutely to the side, urging the freshman to go on._

_Jinyoung bit his lip out of nervousness, and he felt his face flush and his heartbeat quickening when he saw the man flickering his gaze towards it._

_“I’m in this Talent show thing for the freshmen, and we needed to find a person who’ll be willing to participate as our partner.”_

_“Partner?”_

_Jinyoung nodded shyly._

_“The freshmen were tasked to... perform on the stage together with a partner, and whoever gets chosen by the audience would be the winner and receive a prize.”_

_“And the prize would be money?”_

_“Uh, yeah.”_

_The man looked contemplative for a moment, then a sly grin decorated his face._

_“So... you want me to help you perform on a stage with the whole campus watching, in order to win the prize money which wouldn’t even be much I assume, because let’s be real— University students are broke as heck —, in exchange for us making a complete fool out of ourselves? Did I get it right?”_

_Jinyoung gasped in horror and shook his head repeatedly._

_It sounded so wrong and disturbing coming from him, and Jinyoung wanted nothing more but to let the ground swallow him whole._

_“N-no! Well... that’s somehow right, but I don’t have any choice! If I can’t find someone to present for the sophomores in the next five minutes, They’ll make me run around the campus in my underwear! I don’t want_ _to run around in my underwear on my first week in class!”_

_Jinyoung rambled out of frustration without stopping, and by the time he was done ranting the man burst out in laughter._

_The raven haired man pouted heavily in return, ignoring the flutters in his stomach as the high pitched sound reverberated in the air._

_“It’s not funny.”_

_The man continued chuckling as he wiped some tears that pooled in his eyes from laughing so much.  
_

_Once he had calmed down, his eyes raked the features of the younger. His eyes glinted something dark as he hummed contentedly, obviously liking what he was seeing._

_“Actually, I was about to say yes and lend you hand, but you mentioned about the punishment, and the_ _prospect of seeing you in your underwear sounds magical to me. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn’t help you after all?”_

_Jinyoung looked flabbergasted at the innocent smile plastered on the man’s face as he spoke teasingly in contradiction._

_The literature major completely read him wrong._ _He looked nice and_ innocent at first, but in reality, this man is an absolute perv!

_“N-nevermind! I’ll find someone else!”_

_Jinyoung was about to leave when a hand snaked on his wrist and grabbed him from behind. The man smirked as he stared at the flustered freshmen, who’s heart felt like it would beat out of it’s chest any minute now._

_“As much as I’d like to see you in your underwear sooner, I think it’s better if the situation would be more...appropriate, and a campus setting isn’t really an ideal place, is it?”_

_The literature major can only stare as the man flashed him a beautiful smile._

_“I’ll help you keep your dignity and reputation intact, but on one condition.”_

_Jinyoung shuddered as the man’s thumb lightly brushed the side of his wrist._

_“W-what is it?”_

_The man stared at him with a smirk._

_“Go out on a date with me.”_

_Jinyoung’s breath hitched in his throat_ _as he heard the words tumble out of the man’s pretty mouth._

_His brain felt like it’s in overdrive, struggling and failing miserably as he tried to wrap his thoughts around about what just happened._

_Did this Adonis of a man just ask him out?_

_The man raised his brow as he smiled amusingly at the confused freshman._

_“Well? From what I can tell, there’s only two minutes left until you’re out_ _there flashing people with your underwear. So, what’s it gonna be? Do we have a deal?”_

_Jinyoung’s eyes zeroed in on his watch, and the rush of light panic broke him from his daydream.  
_

_There’s only 1 minute and 30 seconds left, and he has no other choice but to agree to the man’s request._

_“Fine! I’ll go on a date with you!”_

_Don’t get him wrong, he’s only agreeing because he needs help, and not because of the blinding smile that the man gave him after, fluttering his messed up heart even further._

_Nope, definitely not that._

_“Well? What are you waiting for? We gotta run if you don’t want to be late!”_

_The man grabbed Jinyoung by the hand and the duo started running towards the open field.  
_

_High pitched laughter echoed throughout the hallways and Jinyoung stared at the man guiding him, who was clearly enjoying himself at the moment._

_“I’m Park Jinyoung.”_

_The man looked back right at him with a wide smile, flashing his canine teeth beautifully. His eyes shone with amusement and something else entirely different that Jinyoung couldn’t decipher, and he couldn’t help but to be gravitated towards those orbs that held so much mystery._

_“Nice to meet you, Park Jinyoung. I’m Mark Tuan, and I’m excited to know more about you.”_

_Jinyoung squeezed Mark’s hand lightly, silently indicating his excitement to know more about the blonde man as well._

*

“We joined the others and did a rap song. It was embarrassing to say the least, and we didn’t even wIn in the end, but it was still fun.”

“And you went on a date with him after?”

Jinyoung smiled at that.

“Yeah.”

“What made you fall in love with him?”

The elder pondered at the question.

There’s so many things to tell, and he didn’t know where to start. 

“Well... Everything about him is magnetic. His voice, his eyes, his smile. His presence draw me in right from the beginning. I thought it wouldn’t get better than that to be honest.”

Jinyoung chuckled quietly as his thoughts brought him back to how speechless he became when he saw the elder for the first time. It hadn’t felt fair being at his presence at first, because how could someone beautiful like Mark Tuan even exist in the same world he lives on?

“But then I got the chance to know more about him. I saw his warmth, his kindness. I saw many sides of him — playful, witty, loving — that I never thought I’d witness. It made me think, ‘ah, so this is the real him.’ and it made me so happy that he let me inside his life so easily.”

The elder looked up and gazed at the fairy lights. His heart clenched tightly as he felt whirlwind of emotions slowly choking up his body.

“He treated me so well, you know? I’ve had someone before him, and it wasn’t like this at all. I’ve never felt this strongly, I’ve never loved like this before... and maybe that’s why...”

Jinyoung’s voice slowly went to a stop as he felt his hands shake.

He looked down as droplets of water started pouring down in his arms, and it was then that he realized he was crying.

“That’s why...this hurts... so bad...”

Youngjae slowly engulfed him into warm hug, and Jinyoung accepted it without hesitation. Quiet sobs filled the air, and it was at that moment he knew that he’s not okay, and that no matter how much he convinces himself to forget about Mark it would never happen, because the memories they shared is engraved deep within him. 

Forgetting Mark is like being submerged underwater without going back up for air. 

Temporary, but ultimately impossible.

Once Jinyoung fully exhausted his tears he slowly pulled away in order to compose himself. Crying it out made him feel better, and he’s glad that the younger didn’t ask much and only gave a listening ear.

He inwardly grimaced as he saw a huge wet spot he created on Youngjae’s clothes.

“I’m sorry for ruining your shirt.”

Youngjae glanced at the spot briefly and dismissed it, stating that it didn’t matter.

Jinyoung smiled gratefully at the younger who’s face showed nothing but support towards him.

“You know, I’m happy that Jaebeom has you. Thank you, for loving my best friend.”

Youngjae gave a shy smile, ducking his head down in embarrassment.

“No, hyung. I’m the one who should be thankful. Jaebeom-hyung’s love is something that I‘m grateful for, and I will never love anyone as much as I love him.”

Jinyoung smiled slightly at the younger. His attention shifted slightly on his watch, realizing that they’ve already spent at least 4 hours at the carnival.

“Jae, it’s getting late. Should we head back?”

Youngjae stood and helped Jinyoung up as well. They both dusted themselves off in order to get rid of stray grass and sand that clung to their clothes after laying down for some time. 

“Can we go to one more place? There’s this thing that I really want to try.”

Jinyoung’s mind immediately wandered off to the assignments and projects waiting for him back at the dorms. He had put it off for so long now, and if they stayed longer he might not be able to finish them on time.

“I don’t know... we should really hit the road Jae-ah, we still have classes tomorrow...”

Youngjae whined and pouted at the elder, clasping his hands in front of him pleadingly.

“Come on hyuuuung! Please? Just one more!”

Jinyoung’s resolve wavered as the younger flashed him his adorable puppy eyes. The elder sighed in defeat.

He really couldn’t say no to cute things.

“Okay, fine. We’ll do another one. But this would be the last, okay? We need to go home right after.”

Youngjae squealed in excitement and hugged the elder in appreciation. Jinyoung was once again dragged towards the carnival, letting his dongsaeng decide his fate for him.

It’s just one more ride anyways, what could possibly go wrong?

——

“A horror house? Really, Youngjae?”

Jinyoung’s eyes scanned the looming building standing in front of him. He did not expect that the younger would bring him here at all, because as far as he knows, Youngjae scares easily. 

The elder didn’t even realize that this was here when they roamed the area, so when did Youngjae discover all this?

Jinyoung didn’t need to ask, because the younger explained right away.

“I saw this place when I went to buy some food! It looked so spooky, and I wanted to check it out!”

Jinyoung glanced around his surroundings for other costumers, and found that they were the only people around.

The elder felt goosebumps rise from his skin, and suddenly he felt uneasy about the entire thing. The building looked eery, and it‘s location is perched too far from the other attractions.

Shivers started creeping up his spine, and the elder found himself doubting about his decision.

“Maybe we should find another ride? How about we try the ferris wheel?”

Youngjae shook his head in refusal. A pout formed in his face, causing the elder to wince slightly.

“But... I wanted to try this one. Please, hyung?”

Jinyoung felt conflicted, but nodded nonetheless, afraid of disappointing his dongsaeng who went great lengths to cheer him up.

With a heavy heart, the duo approached the booth counter, and Jinyoung almost shrieked when a person wearing a creepy pig mask appeared before him.

If the elder felt uneasy before, he’s sure as hell freaked out now. 

Jinyoung gulped as he gathered his bearings together to speak up.

“Um...W-We would like two tickets please.”

The person paused for a while before holding out his hand in front. It took a few seconds for Jinyoung to understand that the man was asking for his payment. After the elder handed his money the man quietly gave out their tickets, gesturing them to head inside the house.

Youngjae sprang ahead and Jinyoung chose to take his time to observe the surroundings.

The elder found it odd that no one greeted them on the front door like the other horror rooms he went into before. Maybe it’s all part of the entertainment?

His train of thought halted when the door creepily opened by itself, it’s hinges squeaking loudly much to the elder’s displeasure.

His senses were instantly alert as soon as they both stepped inside. A dark hallway stretched right in front of them, and the elder felt Youngjae cling into him, like a child afraid of losing his mother on a supermarket. When the duo started walking, varieties of decorations covered up the entire path, and every once in a while a figure would jump right in front of them.

Youngjae’s grip slowly became tighter and tighter, and the elder can only laugh in amusement every time the younger would scream as an object flies unexpectedly past them.

“I don’t even understand why you wanted to do this, Youngjae. You get scared even when I sneeze!”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t think it would be this scary!”

The younger whined in reply, making Jinyoung laugh even more.

Going further into the building, they stopped in another hallway where different doors were located. They had been walking around for almost 15 minutes now, and the elder assumed that one of these rooms holds the exit.

Jinyoung contemplated on what door they should choose, when a dark green door to his left caught his attention. 

“Should we pick that one, Jae-ah?”

His guts were screaming at him that it was the right one, and when the younger nodded hesitantly they walked right in front of it. Jinyoung took the lead and opened the door to head inside, where they were met with walls and ceilings full of weird mirrors. 

They maneuvered the area for a while, and every time Jinyoung thought they were getting closer to the exit, they would eventually turn to a dead end.

The elder had been so focused on getting out that he didn’t realize he’s been walking off on his own. 

It was only when he had managed to find the right hallway that he remembered  
that someone came with him.

“This part is tricky, Jae. You need to stay close —“

Jinyoung turned around in order to warn his dongsaeng in advance, only to find the younger missing behind him. 

“Youngjae?”

Jinyoung whipped his head frantically, a surge of panic slowly creeping through his veins. He quickened his steps and walked back from where he was previously, hoping that the younger was somewhere close.

“Youngjae! Where are you?!”

Jinyoung called out again, his mind racing to find the younger.

“Hyung!”

Jinyoung perked up at hearing the voice of the younger. It sounded like it came from somewhere in front of him, close to where he found the hallway previously.

“Where are you?!”

Jinyoung focused so he could hear the younger again and hopefully pinpoint his location. 

“Right here, hyung! I found the exit! Just follow my voice! ”

Jinyoung walked forward as soon as he managed to find the general direction of the sound. 

“Stay where you are, Youngjae! I’m coming to you!”

Jinyoung turned a few more times until he finally saw the door with a big ‘EXIT’ sign on it. He quickly opened it and found himself out on the open, breathing a sigh of relief that he managed to get out.

He glanced around on what seemed like the back area of the building and found Youngjae’s silhouette standing at the far end of the yard. 

“There you are!”

Jinyoung couldn’t see his face because the sun had long set, but the elder was sure it was him because the silhouette started waving him over in enthusiasm. he smiled lightly and waved back, more than ready to go home and rest his tired body.

Jinyoung made his way towards the younger, who was still waving lightly from where he stands. 

“Youngjae! Why did you—“

The elder suddenly stopped from his tracks as he stared at the silhouette in front of him. His position is still a bit far to recognize the face, but he was close enough that he could identify the body shape. 

And that body does not belong to Youngjae at all. 

Jinyoung felt his stomach drop at the discovery.

His mind felt the imminent danger, but his body refused to act on it. The elder gulped as his mind started whirring with questions, and his thoughts wandered back to Youngjae’s whereabouts. 

“Who are you?!”

The man stopped waving and suddenly walked towards him.

Alarms started ringing inside him, and Jinyoung knew he needed to get away.

He was about to turn around and run back to the building when he felt an intense pain hit at the back of his head.

Jinyoung stumbled from the sudden impact and his body crashed mercilessly on the ground.

His head started throbbing painfully, and he felt warm liquid trickling down his nape. 

_‘No...’_

Jinyoung groaned heavily and tried to focus on staying awake, hoping that he could at try to get a glimpse of his attacker. 

He cursed himself as he gradually sank into unconsciousness, and the last thing he saw was a pair of black sneakers standing over him.

Before he could even raise his head up to see who it is, his mind started shutting down.

His surroundings became blurry, and his strength started leaving his body.

And then, the world turned black.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m in the mood to edit my story these days, so here, another chapter for all you lovely people （＾Ｏ＾）
> 
> ⚠️ Blood and murder mentioned. ⚠️

The moment Mark embraced what he tried to control for so long, he felt sickeningly free. 

After the speech, The mafia leader’s demeanor towards everything changed tremendously. He became distant, cold, and quieter than he usually is. He became stoic and strictly professional, refusing to talk about anything else other than business.

Of course, to the people who are unaware of Mark’s personality, this may seem like a good thing, but to those who knows him personally and works with him closely like Bambam, the sudden change is alarming. 

The following days that transpired were grueling to say the least; the Tiger Lily members would search thoroughly about the mysterious organization, who was much more difficult to track than they had anticipated. The continuous failure to capture even one member made Mark even more cranky and difficult, which would radiate all over the already stressed out organization.

Bambam had been the witness of how much the elder yelled and ordered his people around, his anger flaring up even on the employees of Yang Enterprises.

However, none of those crankiness and ill-temperedness terrified the thai, because what truly made him feel so disturbed by Mark is his sudden ruthlessness with killing. 

The mafia leader wouldn’t hesitate to off someone these days, even if the person is only suspected of being disloyal to the organization.

The killings had been so alarming and frequent that the people knew what to expect when a person is forced to go inside the interrogation room, and it always ends up cleaning the tiled floors decorated by the blood of the unlucky prisoner.

The continuous acts of murder and tyranny spread around like wildfire, and people started talking quietly behind closed walls. The news made some of the alliances shiver with fear, and some, who had known Mark’s father giggled with delight, because _finally_ , Raymond Tuan’s only son is starting to become like his father.

Bambam have heard all of the rumors, but he can’t tell if his hyung is aware of it, because in the morning, Mark would be all cold and ruthless, and in the night time when everyone’s gone home to rest, he would quietly retreat to his room and request for drinks. 

The same scene kept unfolding for the next three days, and Bambam thought that he could handle it for a few more times, but as he secretly watched Mark torture another innocent man in the interrogation room for the third time that following day, he thinks he’s finally had enough.

The younger man pushed through the door from where he was watching and hastily entered the room. The man this time was caught in the act stealing some of their shipped goods, and he was immediately taken to Mark, as per ordered. The thai had witnessed the entire interrogation from the beginning, and he had seen how Mark blankly stared at the man who kept denying the accusations of being a traitor.

It made the thai’s stomach churn in horror when Mark continuously decorated the man’s skin with deep gashes and even going as far as poking some of the wounds that he had inflicted, all the while looking far from being remorseful. 

He knows how drastic the elder’s personality shifted these days, but this, this is just... terrifying.

Bambam’s body feels fear just by looking at Mark.

When the young bodyguard finally took a good look at the situation, his breath hitched in his throat, because Mark’s knife was now angled dangerously into the prisoner’s throat.

“Hyung...”

“What are you doing here, Bambam?” 

Mark asked quietly, his side facing the younger.

Bambam stepped forward, and the hand that gripped the handle of the knife tightened on the sound. 

“Hyung, he already told you that he’s not a traitor. Please, you don’t have to do this.”

When the man heard that he started squirming in his seat, his eyes locked pleadingly into Mark’s.

“Boss, he’s right! I’m not a traitor, I’m just struggling with money! You have to believe me! I would never do such a thing!”

Mark growled in annoyance and gripped the man’s hair, earning a whimper from the prisoner.

“Shut up, you liar! And you! get out of here!”

The thai shook his head in refusal.

“Hyung. Please don’t. This isn’t you.”

Mark snapped his head and glared dangerously, making the younger shiver in fear.

“What do you know about me? How can you say that this isn’t me? I’m a monster. I’ve always been a monster, and now, I’m just finally embracing who I am.”

Despite the shaking in his legs, Bambam stepped forward. He feels terror at the man in front of him, but he couldn’t give up. Not when his hyung needed him the most.

“No, hyung. You’re not a monster. You’re not your father, you said so yourself. You’re not like him, and you will never be him. You told me that, hyung, and I believe you. So please, please don’t do this. Give me the knife.”

Mark paused as he carefully observed the younger, who is slowly making his way towards him.

Bambam’s hands shook as he tried to reach out in front of him, the younger’s eyes never leaving the elder. He could tell how much the latter is battling with his emotions.

He saw a flicker of regret flash through the elder’s eyes, but it was gone as soon as it came, because the elder’s face hardened abruptly.

“It’s too late for that now.”

“No, wait—“

Bambam gasped as Mark’s hand slid towards the man’s throat, showering him with blood all over.

The younger whimpered as he heard the man gurgle some words out of his mouth, and soon after his body limped heavily in his seat.

Silence engulfed the room as Bambam struggled to regain his breathing, closing his eyes in hopes of erasing the gruesome scene that happened right in front of him.

The clank of the knife being set down against the table is what brought him back, and he stared at the elder, who is now shucking off his coat in order to wipe the blood away from his face. 

Bambam couldn’t bear to see him looking so nonchalant, so he kept his eyes everted even when the elder started walking towards the door to leave the mess he created.

“Have someone clean this up. Also, deliver me scotch in my room.”

Mark quietly spoke, and when the door shut close behind him, Bambam felt his legs sink towards the floor, his sobs echoing throughout the room.

Unbeknownst to him, Mark is listening to the other side, his heart wrenching on what he had done to his precious dongsaeng. 

The mafia leader pried himself away from the sobbing man and headed back into his room, where he stood in his shower and watched as the blood of that man slowly crawled away from his skin.

As he finished up and changed into much more comfortable clothes, the scotch he asked for was ready on his table, waiting for him. He hastily devoured the entire bottle and in no time he laid on the floor in his own tears, hoping that sleep would come and claim him in order to achieve even just a little bit of peace.

However, the peace he had asked for only lasted for a few hours.

The incessant knocking and shouting outside his door was what Mark woke up to the next day. He had expected to be lying in his comfortable sheets just like always, but the sudden ache in his back is what made him realize that Bambam didn’t come in and take him back to bed this time.

_‘Of course he wouldn’t come, I traumatized him yesterday.’_

The familiar pang in his head made him grumble on the floor. The obnoxious shouting made it even worse, and before he could even ask what was going on outside, the door sprang open, revealing a very red, and a very angry Yugyeom.

The said man closed the door and quickly crossed the room, crouching down as he grabbed Mark’s collar.

“What the hell did you do?”

Mark stared at his younger brother, clueless as to what made him so angry.

“What are you talking about?”

The apparent confusion made Yugyeom even more vexed out. He shook Mark’s collar repeatedly, his grip on the older tight and painful.

“Don’t play dumb with me, hyung! I know you did something!”

Mark did not appreciate the constant movement towards his aching head, so he pushed the younger away, making Yugyeom fall ungracefully on his butt.

“Will you stop with the shaking?! God, my head feels like it’ll explode. And what the hell are you talking about? What the fuck did I do?”

Yugyeom ignored the obvious pain in his older brother’s face and crossed his arms, still relentless on his quest.

“I went to Bam’s last night and found him crying.”

Mark stiffened at the mention of the thai. He knew what he did was harsh, but Bambam crying even when he went back home made his stomach swirl with disgust at himself.

Yugyeom tapped his hand on the floorboard impatiently, waiting for the elder to explain himself.

But the thing is, Mark couldn’t tell him.

Instead, the elder sighed in annoyance as he glared at his brother.

“You went outside of the house?”

Yugyeom rolled his eyes at the obvious deflection.

“Of course I did. You really expect me to sit there and rot because of boredom?”

Mark sighed and stood up from the floor, his head throbbing from too much drinking.

“Your guards were supposed to keep an eye on you. Obviously they did a shit job at that.”

Yugyeom stood up abruptly and trailed behind Mark.

“Don’t change the topic, hyung! Bambam never cried like that before! And I know it isn’t because of someone else, because I’ve heard some things about what you’ve been doing for the past few days.”

The elder stopped in his tracks as he glanced warily at the younger behind him.

He’s heard all of the rumors as well, and he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about what anyone thinks. However, it’s disturbing to him that the news would reach his little brother, because this is one of the things he never wanted Yugyeom to know.

“Where did you hear those?”

The younger only scoffed.

“You’re not the only one with connections, hyung.”

Mark sighed and faced the younger, who still looks pissed and ready to smack some things, most probably the elder.

“Look, I didn’t do anything to Bambam. He just saw the real me — a monster. I’m not the nice, kind-hearted hyung he thinks that I am. I’m a cold blooded-killer. Now that he knows that and he decides to stay away from me, I won’t hold it against him. He’s free to leave any time he wants.”

“What? No way! Bambam wouldn’t leave you just like that! And you’re not a monster, hyung!”

Something inside Mark snapped as Yugyeom tried to convince him. He slammed his closet door so harshly that its hinges almost dislodged from the impact.

Yugyeom jumped at the sudden outburst, his face flickered with fear.

“I am a monster, gyeom! You can’t say anything to change that! And if anyone won’t accept that, then they can go! Bambam can leave! Jackson can leave! Even you can leave! I don’t fucking care!”

Yugyeom stared incredulously as Mark screamed, his face etched with hurt.

Tears started forming on the corner of his eyes, and the elder walked away from the scene and into the bathroom, refusing to witness how much his words gave pain to his brother.

“What... what’s gotten into you, hyung?”

Mark stayed silent as he washed his face free from the dirt and grime of last night.

“It’s because of Jinyoung-hyung, isn’t it?”

Mark stopped as he gripped the sides of the sink tightly, the name bringing waves of pain into his chest.

“Shut up.”

“You’ve been acting like this because of him.”

“Yugyeom, shut it.”

Yugyeom stomped his feet as he marched towards the elder, hovering dangerously in front of him.

“No, I won’t shut up! I know about what happened, okay?! I know, because he knows about me too!”

Mark turned back instantly and stared at Yugyeom’s distraught face, his stomach churning lightly. 

“Wh-what are you talking about?”

The confidence in the younger slowly morphed into despair. He stared down at the floor, his fists shaking slightly at his side.

“I... called him the other day because I haven’t seen him after the party. I figured something might have happened, because he’s not taking any calls from Jaebeom hyung. I got worried and... it slipped. He knows about me. He knows I’m your brother.”

Mark stayed silent, his thoughts running wildly against his brain.

Yugyeom had expected that the elder would scream at him and call him stupid from letting it slip, but when he didn’t, the younger knew that it’s okay to keep talking. 

“I know... that he might hate me because of this, but... he’s my friend. I can’t just give up on him. I care for Jinyoung-hyung like he’s my brother, just like how you’re like my own brother as well.”

Yugyeom carefully reached towards Mark, cradling the elder’s hand tightly against his own.

“Hyung, this isn’t like you. I know how hard you’ve tried to control your urges, and doing all of this does not prove you right. Can’t you see? This is only making you even more miserable.” 

The tremble in the younger’s voice made Mark look up, and his heart clenched at the sight of his little brother’s tears pouring heavily because of him. 

“Hyung, this isn’t the time to give up. I know Jinyoung-hyung loves you, and we all love you, too. We know the real you. You can’t... you have to stop this and come back to us, Please.”

Yugyeom’s words stabbed into Mark’s heart repeatedly, and the elder hated how he gave so much pain to the younger.

Mark’s grip on the younger’s hand tightened, but before the elder can reply the door creaked open yet again, and there stood Jackson, who Mark has not seen the entire week.

Judging by the heavy atmosphere surrounding the room and Yugyeom wiping his tears in urgency, Jackson figured out something must have happened while he was away. However he decided to speak nothing about it, and decided to focus about his recent development with the situation. 

Mark must have felt the same, because the elder slowly made his way towards the silver haired man.

“What is it, Jacks?”

Jackson’s posture straightened up in attention, his mouth curled up with a proud smirk. 

“Boss, we managed to capture one of the men who ambushed you. He’s at the interrogation room.”

——

Mark carefully studied the man who is currently tied up in front of him. Jackson had taken him into the same room where the elder mercilessly slit the throat of a man in front of Bambam.

The mafia leader shuddered at the memory, but he willed himself to focus at the moment. He left Yugyeom to wait in his room, and surprisingly, the younger agreed without protest. 

“How did you find him?” 

The man sported bruises on his face, already looking roughed up and bloody, most likely because he’s had few beatings before he was taken to the elder. 

“We were scouting for the cars near Gangnam, and one of the boys saw this bastard’s vehicle pass by. We followed him and he tried to get away, but we caught him soon enough.”

The lilt in Jackson’s voice made Mark turn around to face to younger. He visibly scanned the man’s body, and is relieved to discover that he didn’t look injured at all. 

Mark offered a proud smile at the younger.

“You did a great job, seun-ah.”

The younger gave a bright grin in return, pleased to have been successful with his mission this time around.

Their small moment was cut short when a small snicker erupted from the man they held captive.

“What’s so funny, asshole?”

Jackson asked in irritation. The man chuckled in reply, raising his head to look at the two, his eyes crinkling with amusement.

“I’m just excited. You smile here so nonchalantly because you don’t know what’s about to happen.”

Mark remained calm as he dragged the free chair across them, placing it and sitting down in front of the man.

“Pray tell. What do you mean by that?”

The man suddenly sat up straight. He stared at Mark’s eyes in defiance, his entire posture confident for someone who’s life is on the line.

“It’s simple. Soon, you, and this entire organization is going to go down in flames. That’s all there is to it.”

The smirk in the man’s face definitely ticked Mark off, and he was about to do something about it when Jackson beat him first, landing a swift punch at the man’s jaw, causing the chair to crash-land to the side.

“Who do you work for?!”

The man coughed and spat out blood, his eyes glazed with fury.

“You can rough me up and chop my limbs to pieces, but I won’t tell shit. Shouldn’t you know by now? When you tried the same thing on my comrade, didn’t he end up dead without spilling anything?”

Mark became momentarily confused as to what the man was talking about, but then a memory clicked inside his brain.

“The man that sneaked in few weeks ago... you’re talking about him, right?”

The man laughed.

“That’s right, kid. We’re as good as dead if we get caught. You of all people should know.”

Mark narrowed his eyes as the man laughed maniacally in front of him. He was about to fire back with a retort when sudden nostalgia hit him as he heard the man’s laughter. 

His gut started screaming inside of him, and it urged him to study the man’s features even more.

“Jackson, bring him upright.”

The younger followed and stood the chair right back up. Mark grabbed the man’s chin as he turned the prisoner’s head from side to side. 

The man scowled in his seat, squirming his head out of the Mafia Leader’s grasp.

“Let go of me!”

Mark paid no attention to him and tightened and his grip even more. He then slowly wiped the blood from the prisoner’s face away, and when he did, he knew what he guessed was right. 

Mark had seen him before when he was younger, when his Father brought him along to observe the inner workings of his future empire.

“You... aren’t you one of my father’s hitman?”

The man growled lowly but remained silent, eyes throwing daggers at the younger. 

“Yeah. I remember you. You were so loyal to him... you’re a Tiger Lily member.”

At the mention of the deceased male, the man thrashed in his seat, startling the two from their positions. 

“Loyal?! Ha! Yes, I’ve dragged hell and back to serve that monster! I did everything he asked of me, _EVERYTHING_! I thought he would do the same when I asked him for freedom in order to start a family, but what does he do instead?! He murders my pregnant wife and destroys all of my properties! He took my family and my life away from me!”

Mark took a deep breath as the man screamed, his voice laced with pure hatred and disgust.

“I don’t belong to this hellish group! You all deserve to die! SOON, YOU WILL SEE! THE GREAT MOUNTAIN WILL OVERCOME YOU! REDEMPTION WILL BE IN OUR HANDS!”

The man continued screaming bloody murder in his chair, his face hysterical as he continued spewing threatening words.

The familiar throbbing in Mark’s nerves started creeping up again, and so he took the gun on Jackson’s hand, angling it at the man’s forehead.

The man laughed in amusement, his eyes challenging the Mafia Leader.

“I’ve heard about the things you’ve done, boy. I really thought you’d grow up to be different from your father, but well, you know what they say, ‘the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’! So do it, boy! Pull the fucking trigger and be a murderer just like your daddy!”

The man cackled louder, and Mark shook as his hands gripped the handle further.

The constant thrum in his veins made him think that killing is the right thing to do, because this who he truly is — a monster, a killer, a merciless catalyst of destruction. 

He shouldn’t hesitate to shoot now, but a soft, almost inaudible voice at the back of his head was telling him differently.

_‘This isn’t you.’_

Yugyeom’s words started echoing in his ears, and the elder suddenly thought about Bambam, how he must have disappointed the younger with what he’s done.

He thought about Yugyeom, who hasn’t given up on him even though he’s angry and hurting, as well.

He thought about Jackson, who’s own morale must have been shattered as well, but still remained loyal to him.

Lastly, he thought about Jinyoung, on what he would think about all of this, about Mark letting his inner demon run free.

He wouldn’t like it one bit, and even though the elder might never see and feel him again, there’s still that part in his heart that wants to do better, to become a better man for him.

The grip on the trigger loosened, and instead of pulling it to end the man’s life, he hit the handle on the man’s head instead, knocking the prisoner unconscious.

Silence engulfed the room, and Mark didn’t miss the sigh of relief coming from his comrade.

“Take him to our prison cell. We’ll ask him more questions later.”

Mark left the room and trudged back into his building. He saw Yugyeom sitting down at the kitchen area, waiting for him with food on the table.

The elder walked towards the table and sat silently, the sound of utensils scraping the plates their only music.

Mark took a quick glance at the younger, who’s head was dipped low and focused on slicing his pancakes. 

It was now or never, so the elder took the initiative to talk.

“You’re right, gyeom. This isn’t me, I’m not like my father. I’m just... overwhelmed. I’m sorry if I disappointed you.”

The younger raised his head slightly to stare solemnly at the elder.

“It isn’t me you should be saying sorry to.”

Mark nodded in understanding, his face falling in defeat. Yugyeom must have realized what the elder was feeling, so he gave a small smile, his eyes full of warmth.

“Well, if it’s any consolation, I know Bammie would forgive you. You know he’s not one to hold grudges.”

The elder smiled back, his heart lighter than it has ever been in days. 

“Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll be staying here for now. The house gets boring without you.”

Mark chuckled in reply, but agreed nonetheless. It’s better if his brother stays with him anyways, as he can personally monitor the younger’s safety.

Not long after the mafia leader proceeded to take care of businesses the entire day, he held continuous meetings in his office in order to keep the organization from falling apart. Dinnertime came around, and after he excused himself from the meal he went back to his office in order to prepare for his last meeting for the day with 2pm.

They had informed him that they would be coming tonight, so he wanted to review the plans that he wants to go over with them.

A few minutes into his work, a knock was heard on the door. The elder motioned for the person to come in, revealing a timid Bambam standing awkwardly in front.

“...Boss? 2pm is here.”

Mark nodded and ordered to let them in. Before the thai left however, the elder called out to him. 

Bambam stood up straight in attention, but his eyes remained downcast as Mark walked in front of him.

The elder heaved a shaky breath before speaking. 

“Bam... I know that what I did must have scared you, and I want to let you know that I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I let my anger and hurt get the best of me, and I’m sorry that you had to witness it. I treasure you very much, and I hate myself because I hurt you. You don’t have to forgive me right away, but I hope you would, eventually.”

Hearing the sincerity of the elder made Bambam lift his head in order to look at him. It was then that Mark saw that the fear once enveloping the younger’s eyes dissipated in an instant.

The elder knew right then that he had been forgiven. 

“I know you didn't mean it, because that wasn’t you. You’re my hyung, my savior who plucked me out of my suffering. You’re kind and you’re loving, and you may not see it for yourself, but we all do. The people you’ve helped, you’ve cherished, we all know who you truly are.”

Mark’s heart swelled in his chest, his fondness for the younger bursting loudly into his system.

He nodded, smiling gratefully at the thai. Bambam smiled back, leaving momentarily in order to escort their allies inside. Soon after the members of 2pm were coming in one by one, Jackson and Yugyeom following closely behind them. 

“Mark, I know the timing is a bit horrible, but it’s good to see you again.” 

JunK greeted warmly as he shook hands with Mark.

“Likewise, hyung. I had hoped we would meet again at a much more happy occasion, but we can only count for the next time.”

Mark ushered the men into the table they had set and prepared, ready to cater them as they talk about the situation.

“We’re so sorry that we couldn’t come sooner, we were tracking down some information and found something that may interest you.”

Mark settled in his seat as his eyes perked up at the news.

“Oh? What is it about?”

JunK glanced at his members, tension heightening inside the room.

“We may have an idea on who leads the attacks to your organization.”

Mark gulped as his leaned forward in his seat, curiosity gnawing at his insides. 

“Who?”

Before JunK can speak the doors were suddenly pushed open, the attention of everyone diverting towards the interruption.

A guard stepped in looking deathly pale, his face contorted in fear.

“B-boss...someone delivered this to us just now.”

Mark’s vision zeroed in on the envelope that the guard was holding unsteadily. He stood up from his seat and walked forward, gathering the envelope in his hands.

He felt wet liquid as he touched it with his fingers, and when he turned the envelope around, he felt his insides shake.

Blood.

Seeing the crimson the rest of the men stood up from their seats, panic evident in some of their faces.

Mark hadn’t payed them any mind, as his focus were solely on who was the person owning that blood, hoping and praying in his mind that it isn’t what he’s thinking.

_‘Please, don’t let it be him. God, please don’t let it be Jinyoung.’_

Mark slowly opened the envelope, and an object fell down with a loud cling. The mafia leader gazed at the object that splayed beneath him, his knees shaking as he picked it up from the ground. 

A necklace with a golden wing assaulted his vision, and there’s only one person he knows who it belongs to.

The look on Mark’s face gave away the meaning of the envelope, and Yugyeom slumped into his seat, his hands cradling his head in horror.

“No, no, no, no...”

Mark traced the necklace with his fingers, and his eyes landed on the envelope again.

A paper was stuck between it, and he took no time in pulling it out to see the contents. 

There on the paper, was an address laid out in front in bold letters, and a single sentence written hauntingly beneath it.

’ **Come and get him.** ’


	17. Chapter 17

The skies were dark and vast above their heads, twinkling lights illuminating all over the horizon. The early morning air felt chilly against Jinyoung’s skin as he splayed freely on the lush grass, making him huddle closer to the warm body laying right next to him.

“Cold?”

Jinyoung hummed in reply, and in an instant a pair of arms snaked around his waist, pulling him closer to a hug. 

The younger sighed contentedly as he laid his head across the sturdy chest, his heartbeat thrumming steadily against Jinyoung’s ears.

“Mark?”

At the mention of his name, Mark shifted his gaze from the sky and down to the younger, who’s eyes greatly rivaled the sun’s brightness.

“Yes, love?”

“Thank you. You must be dead tired by now, but I’m really happy you’re here with me.”

Mark smiled lovingly towards Jinyoung, who in turn is looking at him with gratitude. Today marked their 6th month of being a couple, and they were supposed to celebrate in a fancy restaurant that the CEO booked beforehand. Unfortunately for the elder, his work got the best of him, and he had to cancel the reservation on the last minute. Jinyoung had been incredibly understanding about his situation, but the thought of leaving the younger all alone on such an important day didn’t sit well with him.

The CEO wanted to give Jinyoung something memorable, so, despite his exhaustion after multiple meetings that day, he called in Bambam to escort the younger into his private land at 2am. He hadn’t prepared much, heck, he was still wearing his work clothes on when he greeted the younger. However, Jinyoung didn’t care about that. He didn’t care even if he’s still in his pajamas when Bambam dragged him, because the only thing that mattered was the elder’s presence surrounding him.

Mark brushed the stray hair that perched themselves onto Jinyoung’s face, and leaned in for a tender kiss.

“Anything for you, my love. You know I would move mountains for you. I‘d give anything you need, all you have to do is ask.”

Jinyoung beamed at the declaration, his heart beating loudly. He placed his hand unto Mark’s face and gently caressed it with his thumb.

“You don’t have to do all of that. Because all I want — all I’ll ever need — is you, right here, with me.”

The elder stared long and hard at Jinyoung as he basked in the beauty gracing him. He let his eyes soak in the view, engraving the edges of the younger’s features deep into his brain.

Mark travelled his gaze from the younger’s forehead, down to his cute nose, his adorable ears, and into those plump lips he’s addicted on tasting.

In a swift action, his lips connected on the younger’s lips and they moved as one, their feelings and emotions all rolled into the kiss. Their passion, their unspoken promises to each other were tangled unto their lips.

The world didn’t matter for a while and it never would be, until a barrage of explosions was suddenly heard, breaking their moment entirely.

Jinyoung gasped as he turned to look at the sky, which was now illuminated with vibrant sets of colors that wasn’t there before.

“What...”

The elder pulled them up in a sitting position and watched as the fireworks continuously lit up the sky.

Mark placed a tender kiss on the younger’s forehead, his eyes locked to the man he’s so deeply in love with.

“I know this may probably be too much, but I wanted to give you something to remember. Like these fireworks lighting up this dark and gloomy sky, you’re the one that gives color to my life. Thank you, babe. I will always be grateful to have met you.”

Jinyoung felt tears well up at the side of his eyes, his heart swelling with so much love and affection to the other. He lunged forward and tackled the elder into a crushing hug.

“Thank you. I love you so, so much.”

Mark kissed the top of the younger’s head, his hold on him tightening.

“I love you even more.”

They stayed huddled in that position for as long as they can remember, and Jinyoung engraved this moment into his brain, every explosion ringing loudly in his ears.

**_*BANG!*_ **

Nothing could ever ruin this day for him.

_***BANG!*** _

Jinyoung looked towards the elder, expecting to see that stunning face to stare right back at him, but to his surprise, Mark was nowhere to be found.

The only thing that greeted him was darkness.

_***BANG!*** _

Jinyoung stood up quickly and glanced at his surroundings, the once green ground now morphed into something cold, something more... _sinister_.

_***BANG!*** _

Panic suddenly surged into the younger. He tried calling Mark’s name, but no sound came out of his mouth.

It was like his voice suddenly disappeared, stolen from him without warning.

**_*BANG!*_ **

Jinyoung suddenly felt the earth crumble beneath him, the ground slowly engulfing his legs. He tried crawling out of harm’s way, but the pull underneath him is too strong.

He can feel the earth swallow him whole, and he could only let out a scream of horror as he found himself sinking _deeper_ , and _deeper_ and _dee_ —

**_*BANG!*_ **

Jinyoung jostled awake from the sudden noise, his head heavy with sharp pain. His breath was uneven and his eyelids wanted nothing more than to close shut, but the dream — no, it was more a nightmare — chased away his drowsiness.

The continuous throbbing in his head is becoming unbearable, and his first instinct was to soothe the pain away with his hand.

However, as he raised his arm up in order to feel the back of his head, a sudden clang of metal resonated in the air. Jinyoung felt his wrists become heavy, and when he looked down in order to inspect it, he saw his hands bounded together, the chain locked heavily on the wall.

The literature major slowly sat up as he eyed his surroundings warily. He figured that he’s locked in some sort of a prison cell, because of the metal railings holding him in place.

The ceiling is low and the walls had a musty smell to it, almost like something is starting to decay around the area. The cell had no light source of its own, the illumination only coming from the narrow hallway located in front of him.

Jinyoung felt scared all of sudden, as he couldn’t remember how he got to this place. The incessant throbbing in his head made it even harder for him to think clearly.

However, he tried fighting off the pain, taking a deep breath in order to calm himself down.

_‘Think, Park Jinyoung!’_

He jogged his memory, and surely enough, flashes of the past started flowing one by one.

He remembers going into a car that’s heading somewhere he didn’t know.

He remembers a carnival, and going on to try different rides.

He remembers laying down under a large tree, and crying while he talked about something.

He remembers the haunted house, and the chill that he got when he went inside it.

Then... he remembers calling out to someone, and being hit hard on the head.

Jinyoung gasped in horror as he fully recalled what had happened.

_‘Youngjae!’_

The raven haired man grunted as he willed himself to stand up, his feet feeling like jelly under him. 

The pain in his head is killing him, but that wasn’t important because right now, because all he could think about is his dongsaeng’s whereabouts.

Jinyoung staggered towards the metal bars in front of him in order to pry it open, but he couldn’t go anywhere near it, because the chains restraining him kept him from moving too far forward.

He tried pulling the chains to remove it from the wall, but when it wouldn’t budge, he opted for a different tactic.

“Hey!”

He screamed loudly. He waited for a few seconds, and when there was no response, he tried calling again.

“Hey! I know you’re out there!”

Jinyoung grasped the chains holding him and banged it repeatedly, hoping that the ruckus would catch his kidnapper’s attention.

“Hey! Answer me!”

Not long after, a sound of metal door creaking was heard.

Multiple footsteps started heading his way, and when they showed up in front of his cell, Jinyoung tried to will his pounding heart to calm down.

“Well, well. Looks like our sleeping beauty is awake.”

A tall, blonde man smirked devilishly at the sight of Jinyoung sending deadly glares at him.

The prisoner flinched as the metal door into his cell started opening, and he scurried backward as the blonde, together with two other people stepped inside his space.

“How ya feelin’? I bet your head hurts a lot. I was worried D.O knocked you out for good because of how hard he hit you.”

Jinyoung ignored the pain that throbbed in his head at the mention of the attack. He gritted his teeth and opted to ignore the man’s question with another question.

“Who are you?”

The blonde shrugged nonchalantly in reply.

“We’re nobody. We’re just messengers.”

The vagueness of his answer only confused Jinyoung.

They’re lying. There was no way they were nobodies.

The younger’s thoughts turned back to his roommate, who was still nowhere to be found.

“Where the hell is my friend?!”

The blonde raised his brows and cocked his head to the side, confusion written on his features.

“Friend? Beats me. You were alone when we got you.”

Jinyoung shook his head repeatedly.

“No, no! I wasn’t alone! I... came with my roommate! Where the hell did you take him?! What did you do to him?”

Jinyoung thrashed around the prison room, screaming at the men standing in front of him.

He was causing too much ruckus for the blonde’s liking, so he signaled one of the men besides him to calm their prisoner down.

When Jinyoung noticed the man on his right started approaching him, his instincts kicked in, and he switched into survival mode. He planted his hands down unto the ground and hoisted himself up in order to deliver a strong kick on the man’s stomach. The man clearly did not expect the attack as stumbled down towards the ground, clutching his bruised side due to pain and shock.

The blonde sighed loudly at the scene. With a single snap of his fingers, three more people emerged from the outside and stepped into the room.

Jinyoung backed away as the people approached him in order to protect himself, but a sudden punch in his stomach made him crumple in pain. He laid there helplessly on the floor as the men continuously delivered blow after blow into his body.

The pain started to rise through his skin, and it slowly started to become unbearable for him.

“Stop.”

Jinyoung tried hard to hide his whimpers as his body folded in pain. The blonde crouched down beside him, clicking his tongue in annoyance at the sight of the bloody mess.

“If you only behaved yourself Princess, none of this would’ve happened.”

Despite being weak and in pain, the fire and anger within Jinyoung hasn’t wavered a bit.

In order to show them that he wasn’t intimidated at all, he did what he wouldn’t have done in any other occasion.

He spat in the blonde man’s face, his eyes glowering without any ounce of fear.

“Fuck you.”

The blonde’s facial expression darkened instantly. With a sharp intake of breath, he wiped his face clear of saliva using his handkerchief. Once he was done, he stared at Jinyoung, and without warning, he clutched the man’s neck, locking him into a tight chokehold.

“What a filthy mouth you have there. What should we do about that?”

Jinyoung gasped as he slowly struggled to breath, the hand that gripped his neck curling tighter by the second.

“You know, despite that disgusting mouth of yours, I can see why Yi En is so smitten by you. You don’t look bad at all, Princess.”

Jinyoung heaved as he tried clawing the hand away in a futile attempt to break free, but the blonde only snickered darkly in amusement.

“You’re a feisty one, too. I like that.”

Jinyoung punched the arm repeatedly, his consciousness slipping away slowly as his breath became ragged.

The blonde enjoyed watching the light slowly dim from his victim’s eyes, and he wouldn’t have stopped choking him if no one intervened.

“Chanyeol, that’s enough. You’re killing him.”

Chanyeol chuckled lowly as his grip slowly loosened from Jinyoung’s neck.

The younger crouched down unto the floor and coughed loudly, his breathe heavy as he struggled to regain the oxygen that he lost.

Chanyeol wasn’t done with him, however.

He gripped Jinyoung by the jaw and made him look at the blonde with his rough hand, his eyes glinting dangerously.

“Speak filthily next time, and I’ll tie you up to a bed instead of a wall. And trust me when I say that the screams you’ll be having then, won’t be because of pain at all.”

The blonde finally released his hold on Jinyoung and stood up, his men following behind him as they left the room. The younger slumped back down out of exhaustion, his head throbbing and his body crippling with pain.

He felt tears prickle unto his eyes, and there he started crying on the ground, wondering what he had done wrong in order to deserve this.

——

Time became blurry for Jinyoung as he laid there on the cold, hard floor.

How long has it been since he’d been taken? Minutes? Hours? _Days_ even? He couldn’t understand why this is happening to him. He didn’t even know who those people were and what they want with him.

He’s just a broke, college student who’s still working hard to reach his dreams. What did he do to catch the attention of these people?

Jinyoung felt thirsty, hungry, and confused at the same time. He licked his dry lips weakly, his body still feeling the effects from the men attacking him earlier. His right flank ached so much that he suspected a possible fracture due to the altercation.

Everything about him hurts, and judging by his current state, he wondered if this was the end for him.

Jinyoung’s thoughts started wandering to his life, and with how he lived in the past 23 years.

He pondered if he did well. Was he kind and loving enough in this life? Was he respectful enough? Empathetic? If ever the concept of reincarnation exists, will his fate be entirely different than now?

What about his family? They would surely question his whereabouts. Are they calling him now to see if he’s okay? Bo Young and Soo Young would be devastated if they find out what happened to him.

The mere thought of their shattered expressions was enough to crush Jinyoung’s heart.

His novel. What about his future? If he leaves like this, he wouldn’t know if his story would be good enough. He wouldn’t know if he’ll get that scholarship he worked so hard to attain.

He wanted to become a writer. He wanted his stories to touch other people, to pull their heartstrings with his words. He can’t... he can’t just—

Jaebeom.

He’ll be in shambles once he finds out. Jinyoung knows how much Jaebeom would dig up the truth behind this. His best friend wouldn’t stop until he finds out what really happened, and that thought scares the younger the most. He can’t let his hyung go through the things he’s experiencing now. Jaebeom can’t know.

The feeling of helplessness shook the younger to his core, but at the same time, thinking about the people and the dreams he’ll leave behind sparked some hope in him.

No. Jinyoung can’t let this happen. He can’t make anyone worry about him, because he’s going to stay alive, and he’s going to get out of here no matter what.

First, he needs to find out where he is, and who those people are.

Jinyoung ears perked up as the metal door opened once again. He could hear their footsteps, but this time, it was accompanied by a sound of frantic screaming that’s gradually getting louder with every step.

_“Let me go, you fuckers!”_

Jinyoung’s blood ran cold as a familiar voice echoed throughout the room.

_“J-Jaebeom?!”_

Jinyoung watched as two men harshly dragged a struggling Jaebeom across the cell he is in.

They threw the elder inside with a blow to the stomach and proceeded to lock the metal bars behind him.

“Jaebeom!”

Jaebeom’s eyes widened and he ran to hold the railings in order to look at the younger.

Jinyoung felt his eyes water at the sight of his friend.

“Jinyoung! Oh my god, are you okay?!”

Chanyeol stepped within their vision, nonchalance visible in his face.

“We caught your friend sneaking around the premises. If he hadn’t screamed your name out, he would’ve been dead on the spot.”

Jinyoung sat up abruptly, his body surging with new found energy.

“What do you want with us?! We don’t know any of you! We’re just ordinary people!”

The blonde stared at Jinyoung for a moment, and he shook his head in disagreement.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Princess. The moment you got involved with the mafia world, you’re no longer an ordinary person.”

The younger’s heart started hammering in his chest at the mention of the Mafia.

“W-what do you mean? I’m not... part of the mafia.”

Chanyeol smirked, his eyes traveling up and down Jinyoung’s body.

“You may not be, but you’re involved with someone who is. You’re Yi En’s lover, correct?”

“Y-Yi En?”

Jinyoung gulped. The name is unfamiliar, but he can feel that deep down within, he knows who it is that Chanyeol is talking about.

God he knows, because there’s no one else but _HIM_ who has taken his heart.

He just didn’t want Chanyeol to say it out loud, because it would make it real.

The blonde sighed as he cocked his head to the side, his eyes carefully watching Jinyoung’s expression.

“Oh, right. I suppose he wouldn’t tell you that name at all. How stupid of me. Mark Tuan, then. You’re Mark Tuan’s lover, correct?”

Jinyoung schooled his expression with indifference, but deep down inside his heart plummeted down to his feet.

Jaebeom stared quizzically at the two, his head spinning with the revelation.

This is all because of Mark?

“I... don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jinyoung replied, his hands trembling profusely.

Chanyeol laughed at the pathetic sight, clearly enjoying how the other man is trying hard to come off strong, when in reality he was breaking down slowly.

“Of course you would deny. Well, too bad for you, we already know all about your relationship. We’ve already sent the message to Yi En to come and get you.”

Jinyoung went rigid. Chanyeol saw the change in him and stepped closer to the cell, making the younger shuffle backwards on instinct.

“We told lover boy about your situation. He’s smart enough to know we’re not joking, and when he comes here in order to save you, we’ll kill him without any hesitation.”

Chanyeol watched as Jinyoung’s breath slowly quickened, his sadistic side clearly enjoying seeing the younger’s distress.

He wanted to see more of that.

The blonde licked his lips as he locked his gaze to the younger, his smile menacing as he delivered the words that he knows would haunt Jinyoung for the rest of his life.

“His death... _will be your fault._ ”

Surely enough, the words rang through Jinyoung’s ears, and it continuously echoed even after Chanyeol and the rest of his men left the premises.

He stayed frozen on the floor, dread spreading like poison in his body.

Mark... he can’t come. He definitely can’t.

Suddenly, Jinyoung felt the walls of the cell started caving in on him, and he knew then that those were the telltale signs of another panic attack.

He clutched his heart tightly, his breath getting shallower as he struggled to regain control.

Jaebeom must have noticed what was happening with his best friend, so he gripped the bars tighter and banged it loudly, in hopes of getting the younger’s attention.

“Jinyoung! Hey, look at me.”

The younger kept panting, his eyes straining in order to look towards the direction of his best friend.

Jaebeom smiled comfortingly, his eyes locking with the other.

“Follow my lead. You have take a deep breath for me, okay? Then breath out slowly.”

Jinyoung grappled unto his chain as he stared at Jaebeom’s calm orbs that gave him some sense of security. He followed obediently as he took long and languid breaths through the nose, followed by breathing out steadily through the mouth.

Jaebeom nodded in encouragement.

“That’s it. You’re doing great, nyoung. Just keep at it and only look at me, okay? You’re going to be fine.”

The duo stayed that way for a couple of minutes until Jinyoung had managed to finally calm down. Jaebeom remained glued to the bar in order to make sure his best friend is completely okay before edging slowly on the wall, his mind whirring with questions and his heart full of anxiety.

Jinyoung inched closer to the bar, afraid that he might undergo another panic attack if he can’t see his best friend.

The younger didn’t even understand why he’s here with him, locked up in some cell.

“How did you get here, Beom?”

Jaebeom sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair, frustration etched in his features.

“Remember when I told you that Youngjae showed up on my place at 1am?”

Jinyoung nodded, urging the elder to go on.

“I asked him what was wrong, because that incident completely caught me off guard. He told me it was nothing and went back to the dorms the same afternoon. I wasn’t convinced at all, so I decided to go to your place today to talk to him about it. I wanted to see you how you were doing, too.”

Jaebeom recalled how much Youngjae looked distressed that morning, and it bothered him so much that the younger wouldn’t tell him all about it.

He didn’t know why, maybe he was just overprotective, but seeing that look on Youngjae stirred something inside him.

He wanted to take that feeling away, he wanted to see Youngjae’s carefree smile like always.

“When I got there, I saw you leave with him in a car. I got confused, so I tried calling the both of you, but no one answered. I didn’t understand what was happening, and my instincts were telling me to follow you, so I did. I followed you all the way to Gyeryong and to that carnival.”

Memories of the carnival started playing in Jinyoung’s mind. He shuddered lightly as he remembered the Haunted House, the reason why he’s here in the first place.

“You were there? Why didn’t you show yourself to us?”

Jaebeom whipped his heard towards Jinyoung, his eyes narrowed in slight annoyance.

“What was I supposed to say, Jinyoung? I didn’t even understand why you went to that place with just the two of you! You weren’t answering my calls, either! And you two seemed great together, you look like you were having the time of your lives! I didn’t want to bother a _happy couple_!”

Jinyoung knitted his brows in confusion, he didn’t get why Jaebeom sounded so... accusatory.

His mind whirred and it took him a few moments to finally understand what his best friend is implying.

The younger stared at his friend in shock and anger.

“Don’t tell me... You think... you think we’re _cheating_ on you?! What the hell, Jaebeom?!”

Jaebeom hissed and slammed the bars in irritation.

“I don’t know, you tell me! Are you?!”

Jinyoung scoffed in disbelief. He knows how possessive and overly jealous the elder can get when it comes to the people he cares about, but accusing him and Youngjae of stabbing him in the back?

That’s just plain stupidity.

The younger gave Jaebeom a dirty look, clearly displeased by his lack of faith.

“You’re being delusional. Something happened between Mark and I, and Youngjae brought me there just to cheer me up! I can’t believe you would accuse me of cheating, Im Jaebeom! Out of all people!”

Jaebeom ruffled his hair in frustration. He felt guilty about jumping into conclusions, but he can’t help it at the time.

“Well, how was I supposed to know?! You never told me about that!”

It was Jinyoung’s turn to snap at the elder. He slammed the chains holding him towards the floor, ignoring the pain radiating in his wrists.

“I couldn’t, okay?! What was I supposed to say?! _‘Hey Beom, guess what? Apparently, the guy I’m dating is actually a Leader of a Mafia group, and He would’ve never told me about that until some people threatened our lives by shooting bullets at us! Funny, right?!’_ ”

Jaebeom stopped and stared at Jinyoung, whose face was red because of pent up infuriation.

“Is Mark really... a part of the mafia?”

The younger felt his energy slowly dissipate. He slumped in his seat and nodded weakly.

“So... all of this... kidnapping you and Youngjae... it’s all because of him?”

At the mention of his dongsaeng, Jinyoung perked up, ultimately ignoring the elder’s accusatory tone with his question.

“Hyung... you said you saw us at the carnival, did you happen to see us enter the horror house?”

Jaebeom jogged his memory for a while, then nodded in confirmation.

“Youngjae! Did you see him go out?”

The elder shook his head, his heart racing with anxiousness at the thought of the younger’s whereabouts.

“No... I couldn’t get in to the horror house without you two knowing. I wanted to confront you when you were done, so I hid and waited at the back. When I saw you go out alone, I wanted to go to you, but it was then when I saw someone hit you. I didn’t have time to see if they got Youngjae. I just assumed that they might have gotten to him first, so I followed their car and all the way here. I tried sneaking in to find you, but they caught me and brought me here.”

Jinyoung bit his lip in worry.

Youngjae isn’t here with them, so where could he be?

He couldn’t help but think the worst.

“Do you... do think—“

Jaebeom knew what the younger wanted to say. He didn’t want to hear any of it, so he shook his head aggressively, silencing his friend.

“No! I-I’m sure he’s okay... they didn’t do anything to us, so I’m sure they won’t do anything to him, either. For now, we have to find a way out of here, then we’ll find him, okay?”

Jinyoung’s hope had already been low from the beginning, but he couldn’t bring himself to refute Jaebeom and tell him otherwise, not when the elder looked so hopeful in front of him.

He could only nod in agreement.

“Gather your strength for now, Nyoung. We’ll need it for later. I’ll think of a plan to get us out.”

The younger slowly dragged his body closer to the wall and leaned there. The duo slipped into tensed silence, their thoughts loud enough to cause chaos within them.

Chanyeol’s words came rushing back into Jinyoung, and he can’t help but to pray that Mark would just stay away, that he wouldn’t take the bait and rush down to save him.

He wouldn’t be able to take it if he would be the reason for the elder’s downfall.

_‘Please, don’t let him come.’_

Their thoughts were interrupted when the doors opened and Chanyeol came back with a handful of men.

“Time to go, Princess.”

The metal rails in Jinyoung’s door started opening, and he backed himself up on the corner in order to get away. 

It was an inevitable attempt, as two bulky men started hoisting him up in order to drag him outside.

“Get off me! Jaebeom hyung!”

Jinyoung thrashed with all his might to fight them off. However, the grip on his hands were too strong for him to overcome by himself.

Jaebeom saw what was happening. He stood up abruptly and started screaming for the younger.

“Jinyoung! Let him go you piece of shits!”

The elder started banging loudly on the rails to get their attention. The commotion irked Chanyeol, and he stared at the man behind the bars and sighed.

“Bring that kid over, too.”

Jaebeom was ready to fight when the men tried dragging him out, but alas, they were stronger than he anticipated. They unceremoniously tackled him on the ground and pulled him out, along with a couple of punches thrown to his body.

Jinyoung, who realized that struggling would only cause more harm than good, took a nervous glance back at his best friend, who is now limping because of pain.

He stared at the blonde who was walking confidently ahead of him, schooling his voice to sound as calm as possible.

“Where are you taking us?”

Chanyeol looked back at Jinyoung, who was trying his best to look calm and collected.

The blonde smirked dangerously, his eyes glinting under the lights.

“Your precious boyfriend is coming, and we’re giving him a warm welcome.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I kinda hate and love myself at the same time for making me cry when I wrote this chapter.
> 
> ⚠️ Blood and murder mentioned.

Mark grunted as he struggled with adjusting his body vest, frustration evident on his features.

He heaved a deep sigh as his hands failed to grasp the strap behind him, ultimately preventing him from securing the vest in his torso.

“Fuck!”

The mafia leader sat back down and gripped his hair, the desperation and guilt eating him alive.

This is all his fault.

Jinyoung got hurt because of him.

The elder sat motionless for a few minutes, until he felt hands pulling him to make him stand up. Mark looked up and saw Jackson, who is now solemnly fixing his vest for him.

“What are you thinking?”

Jackson softly inquired as he continued locking the strap on Mark’s chest.

The elder contemplated on whether spilling the truth or not, but he knew Jackson, and he knew that he could trust the younger, so he decided to let his true feelings bleed out of his chest.

“I’m terrified, Jacks. I honestly don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to think. Jinyoung’s blood was on that envelope. Is he even okay? It’s because of me that he’s in danger. I... I don’t know how to live with myself if something happens to him.”

At that point, Jackson was already done with fixing Mark’s vest. He paused for a moment before he gripped the elder in the shoulders tightly, his face etched with a look of determination and assurance.

“Nothing is going to happen to him. You know why? Because we’re getting him back, hyung.”

Mark‘s eyes screamed with negativity and self doubt, but Jackson wasn’t having any of it.

The elder can’t break down on him now, so he shook the mafia leader lightly, prompting him to stare at the younger’s determined eyes.

“We will. We’re going to do whatever it takes to take him back. Okay?”

Mark draw a deep breath and nodded, grateful for the burst of confidence that the younger gave him. 

“Yeah. Whatever it takes.”

The duo’s moment was interrupted by Bambam, who is now fully geared up for the mission.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

Mark nodded at the thai and he glanced back to Jackson, who looked like he‘s prepared to burn the entire place to the ground.

“Let’s go get him back.”

They all proceeded to their assigned cars, everyone tensed up and on edge. Mark peeked at Yugyeom’s way, the younger currently fixing his pistol with the help of Jackson. He hadn’t intended to bring his younger brother along, but Yugyeom insisted to come, claiming that Jinyoung is as important to him as Mark is to the younger.

He wouldn’t take no for an answer no matter how the elder tried to convince him otherwise, and it was then that Mark knew that his brother wasn’t the same coconut head kid he knew.

Yugyeom was no longer that young and scared boy who needed his hyung to sleep next to him at night. He matured into a strong and trustworthy man who is capable of making his own decisions, and when Mark saw the fire in his brother’s eyes, he knew then that he had lost the argument. 

The elder felt anxious about this change in Yugyeom, but he couldn’t deny how proud he is at the same time. 

They assigned the teams in haste, Bambam would be with him while Yugyeom would be with Jackson. The 2pm members readily agreed on helping him when they found out about the situation, and only their elite people were chosen to partake on the mission, because Mark can’t afford to make any mistakes this time. 

Once they were settled in, their operation had begun. The trip to the mentioned address was a mere 2 hour drive, but the journey is unbearable for Mark, because right now, every second counts.

The longer they spend time on the road, the more uncertain he is about Jinyoung’s condition. 

His agitation is throwing off his focus, so Mark willed himself to calm down and distract himself by reviewing the attack plan they rapidly formed right after the letter was delivered. He knew where the location is situated, because the compound is one of their previous building that his father had sold because of it’s value.

He had sent his men in advance to scout the area, and they informed him that the place looked eerily quiet from the outside with no one guarding it.

The letter didn’t specify anything about Mark going in alone, but he didn’t want to risk Jinyoung’s safety by bringing someone with him. So, Bambam would sneak in to a different entrance, and the others would stay hidden along the premises of the compound in case something goes awfully wrong.

The mafia leader took Jinyoung’s necklace out from his pocket and examined it closely. He tried not to think about the blood previously splattered as he twirled the accessory against his fingers, instead he redirected his thoughts back to the revelation that JunK told him earlier that night.

*

_“Mark,” JunK started. “I think we know who delivered this letter to you.”_

_The mafia leader, after thrashing a couple of bottles and breaking some chairs out of anger, stood in front of JunK, his attention fully on the 2pm Leader._

_“Who?”_

_JunK stared at Mark, who is more than willing to destroy whoever it was that took Jinyoung._

_“Did you know that your Father had an adopted brother?”_

*

The grueling journey finally ended as they arrived at the compound. They decided to park their car a bit further from the building, and in no time Mark and Bambam stepped out. The mafia leader gave a small nod towards the thai, silently telling the younger to be careful. Bambam gave a small salute in return, and from there they went on to their separate ways, their focus fully on getting Jinyoung to safety.

Mark’s in ear crackled to life, JunK’s voice filling his ears. 

“Be careful, both of you.”

The mafia leader took a deep breath to calm himself down. He walked towards the gate which was conveniently open for him to step inside.

Right as his foot touched the ground, two armed men stepped out of the building, making the elder draw his hand gun from his side to point it towards them, his stance dangerously feral.

“Where the fuck is he?!”

The men remained stoic as they pointed their guns in retaliation.

“If you want to see Park Jinyoung alive, drop your weapon to the ground and do as we say.”

At the mention of the younger’s name, Mark wavered right where he stood.

He had hoped that what they were saying wasn’t real, and that they were only bluffing about holding Jinyoung captive. But now, hearing the younger’s name from their lips made it real, and he can’t afford to risk his lover’s safety.

Mark slowly lowered his gun and crouched down to place his weapon on the floor. He raised his hands in defeat, showing the men that he wouldn’t try anything funny.

“Step forward slowly, and don’t look back if you don’t want a bullet lodged into your head.”

Mark quietly marched forward at their command, heart beating wildly in his chest. He secretly kept his radio on, incase he’d need extra help in the future.

The men escorted him inside, and it was like he entered a labyrinth with how much they had to walk around multiple hallways. The mafia leader kept his senses alert throughout the journey until the men led him to a huge white room, with section of a wall filled with large windows that showcased the view of the outside.

The feeling of cold metal bumped into his nape, and he knew for sure that it’s not going anywhere until this is all over. However, he didn’t care about what happened to him, all he needed to know is about Jinyoung’s safety.

“Where is he?”

The man cocked the gun in his head.

“They’ll be here shortly.”

In a heartbeat, the double doors opened in front of them, revealing a sturdy man with a sinister smile, followed by three armed gunman behind him.

“I’m glad you accepted my invitation, Tuan Yi En.”

Mark narrowed his eyes at the man, who went and sat in the leather chair situated across him. 

“How could I ignore it? You kidnapped a person dear to me. Seems a bit low for you, don’t you think, Uncle Tuan Hanyoung?”

*

_“An adopted brother?”_

_JunK nodded._

_“His name is Hanyoung. His previous clan had been wiped clean, and your grandfather found him wandering around and took him in. He’s been out of the organization way before you were born. Your father kicked him out because he’d been smuggling some of your goods. He hasn’t been seen since, until now.”_

_Mark paced around the room, his mind whirring as he connected the dots._

_“So... the moles in my organization, they work for him?”_

_The 2pm Leader bobbed his head in confirmation._

_“The moles were the loyal people who had always favored Hanyoung over your father. When he contacted them to be his spies, that’s where everything started going downhill.”_

*

Hanyoung hissed at him, his face contorted into disgust.

“I don’t carry that repulsive surname anymore, boy. You should watch your mouth. Are you forgetting that we have your lover under our custody?”

Mark glared at Hanyoung, who only smirked at his reaction.

“Where is he?”

Hanyoung smiled and flicked his hand to signal his men. One of them opened the door, and Mark’s heart leaped in his chest as he saw Jinyoung being forcefully dragged inside by a blonde man. 

“Jinyoung!”

At the sound of his name, Jinyoung stopped his struggling, his eyes locked with the elder in horror.

“Mark!”

The commotion was far from over, and Mark cursed under his breath as he realized that Jinyoung wasn’t the only one who got taken.

“Fuck. They got Im Jaebeom as well.”

The radio silence in his ear was broken by the voice of a distressed Jackson, who clearly did not expect another hostage.

“What the fuck?! Why is he there?!”

Jinyoung tried gripping his arm away from Chanyeol to run towards Mark, only to be pulled back harshly by the hair.

“Behave, Princess. Remember when I said I’d tie you up in a bed?”

The sight of Jinyoung’s bruised up skin along with the mistreatment he’s experiencing made Mark’s body fuel with anger.

He growled lowly, his vision slowly starting to see nothing but red.

“Get your filthy hands off him!”

The mafia leader attempted to lunge forward to attack, but a blow to his head made him stumble unceremoniously to the ground.

Jinyoung gasped as he saw Mark grunt in pain.

“Don’t hurt him!”

Chanyeol pulled him in to a kneeling position together with Jaebeom, who was held tightly with his hands behind his back to prevent him from struggling any further.

Hanyoung chuckled at the amusing scene unfolding in front of him.

“Oh, this is great. This is just what I wanted.”

The elder wiped invisible dust in his pants and stood from his seat. He walked all the way next to Jinyoung, who‘s eyes were heavily aimed on Mark’s figure.

Hanyoung directed his attention to Mark, who is struggling as he is pinned down by the man behind him.

“I’d stay still if I were you. You don’t want them to just drop down all of a sudden now, do you?”

The man hissed in return. All of a sudden, Hanyoung pointed at the red dot plastered on Jinyoung and Jaebeom’s forehead, which wasn’t there when they first arrived in the room.

The mafia leader inwardly cursed his luck.

“Fucking snipers.”

He could hear Jackson utter multiple profanities in his ear, telling him to hold on as the blonde barked orders about locating the snipers’ position.

“You know,” Hanyoung started. “I would have never thought about all of this, to be honest. I had a solid plan, but this... this made everything so much easier. If it weren’t for my son, we still would’ve been attacking your compounds behind the shadows.” 

The elder sported a proud smirk at Mark, his face full of delight at the success of the plan. 

“Oh!” Hanyoung clapped his hands together, excitement apparent on his face. ”You haven’t met him yet, right? Well, you’re in luck, because you’re about to see who made all of this possible.”

The double doors opened behind them, everyone on edge for the person’s arrival.

Footsteps were fast approaching, and when the person in question walked in, it was like the world had suddenly stopped. 

*

_Mark slammed his hands at the table, anger and betrayal coursing through his veins._

_“Those fuckers! I’ll hunt them down one by one, and I’ll kill them all myself!”_

_JunK sighed._

_“That’s not all. Remember the insignia?”_

_Mark curled his hands into a tight fist, his anger heightening at the memory his men’s blood splattered all around the wall._

_“Apparently, that insignia belonged to Hanyoung’s original clan. It’s a chinese character for **‘Shān’** , meaning mountain in Korean. Their Chinese ancestors decided it would fit the meaning of their Korean surname.”_

_“And what is their korean surname?”_

_JunK watched as Mark’s eyes burned with fury._

_“... **Choi**.”_

*

Choi Youngjae walked inside the room with grace, his face sported a cold demeanor.

Jinyoung felt like he was doused with bucketload of ice water seeing him standing there, his brain struggling to accept the reality staring right at him.

“What...”

As his gaze travelled along the figure of his dongsaeng, he finally realized why the younger wasn’t wearing anything short sleeved.

He could clearly see the variety of tattoos decorating the younger’s arm, like a venomous snake wrapping tightly into his skin.

If the younger felt shocked and confused about the sudden revelation, Jaebeom felt like his breath got knocked out of him without warning. 

The elder looked stupefied at the younger’s presence, his brain unable wrap around the situation.

Why was Youngjae standing there nonchalantly, looking so different and... _dangerous_?

Amidst of all the confusion lingering in the air, Mark remained stoic. 

This is all his fault. He should’ve known when Youngjae asked him if the younger’s name rung any bells.

Hanyoung walked towards Youngjae and gave him a proud smirk, his arm snaked around his son’s shoulder.

“Now, when this silly son of mine told me he wanted to attend university and study music, I didn’t agree. He wouldn’t need to do all of that useless stuff anyways, because soon, he’d be handling all the affairs in the mafia once I step down. I only agreed when he assured me that this hobby wouldn’t hinder his training, and that University would be some sort of a disguise for him. I was starting to think that his stupid music was getting in the way, but then this happened.”

Hanyoung laughed maniacally as his eyes darted towards Mark and Jinyoung, a huge grin plastered on his face.

“Of all the fucking places in the world, my son had to room with my enemies’ lover! How incredibly convenient is that?!”

Hanyoung’s laughter resonated in the air, but Jinyoung’s attention wasn’t on him at all. His eyes remained stuck on Youngjae, his friend, his roommate, his beloved younger brother of 2 years.

How could he have missed this? 

Why is this happening?

Mark narrowed his eyes at Hanyoung, already itching for this to be over with.

“Just tell me what you want.”

The elder choi smirked.

“I want your company to go down the drain. Tiger Lily will cease to exist if you’re dead, and when it’s over, The Choi’s will reign Korea’s black market.”

Mark growled at him.

“But why? I’ve heard about what you did. You stole packages and sold them to another organizations! You betrayed our family, isn’t that why Father kicked you out?”

Upon hearing the accusation, Hanyoung’s veins popped in his neck, his expression shifting to something maniacal. He approached Mark in haste and proceeded to kick the mafia leader hard on the gut.

“ _I betrayed them?!_ Ha! Of course Raymond would say that. I have been nothing but loyal to Tiger Lily! Ever since Father found me dying on the streets I did everything that I could to repay him! I earned my way up to the organization! I was doing well and I got the people’s respect! Raymond just couldn’t accept the fact that Father was going to pass the organization down to me! I was the one who’s supposed to inherit it!”

Hanyoung stomped on Mark’s body repeatedly. The mafia leader tried to shield his body away from the impact, but it only proved to be futile, as he is held down roughly by the arm.

“Raymond set me up so he could kick me out and replace me, and _you_ —“ 

Mark grunted as Hanyoung’s boot connected on his torso.

“ _fucking_ —” Another stomp made Mark hiss out in pain, the boot aimed precisely at his right arm. 

“ _Dare_ —” The boot hit his ribs next, and the mafia leader heard his bones crack at the impact.

“ _Tell me_ —” Mark almost fell unconscious as the boot hit the side of his head.

“That I’m a fucking _traitor_! Ha!” 

With a final kick, Hanyoung finally stopped his outburst. By the end of it, Mark’s body felt like it was doused in hot lava by how much his body burned with intense pain. 

Hanyoung huffed and spat on Mark’s limp body.

“Of course you’d say that. You’re his son after all.”

Jinyoung’s tears flowed as he watched Mark being beaten so brutally in front of him.

He wanted the man to stop.

He wanted all of this to be over.

“Please...”

He spoke all of a sudden. That caught Hanyoung’s attention, and he turned his gaze towards a trembling Jinyoung.

“Stop hurting him... just let us go... please..”

The younger pleaded with the man, his face brimming with fresh tears, and his expression filled with hurt and worry.

Hanyoung stepped forward in order to approach him, but something gripped him tightly, preventing him from going further. He stared down and saw Mark’s hand holding on to his pants in desperation. 

“Don’t...” Mark sounded weak, but the conviction in his voice to protect Jinyoung is clear. 

“Don’t fucking touch him.”

Hanyoung’s shoulder shook in amusement, and laughed evilly at the scene.

“Oh, young and pathetic love.” He kicked Mark’s hand away. “I wish we could stay and chat for a little longer, but every story has an ending right? Now, this is yours.”

Hanyoung glanced at Youngjae, who remained quiet throughout the entire ordeal.

“This is your final test, son. This will determine if you’re finally ready to take on the title of the mafia leader.”

Jinyoung felt trepidation creeping up inside him as Hanyoung locked eyes with him.

“Kill them.”

The literature major felt cold metal hit the back of his head. He slowly turned around and faced the barrel of Youngjae’s gun, the younger’s eyes cold and emotionless.

“No...”

Jinyoung shook his head as he pleaded to the younger.

“Please don’t do this. This isn’t you. You’re not...Please... Youngjae.. please...”

Seeing the tears drip down in Jinyoung’s face, Youngjae‘s expression faltered slightly.

Hanyoung tapped his boot repeatedly, his patience thinning by the second.

“What are you waiting for, Youngjae? Just shoot him already!”

Youngjae sighed in resignation and stared at Jinyoung with pity, and a slight hint of guilt.

“I’m so sorry, hyung.”

Jinyoung could hear Mark screaming wildly behind him as Youngjae cocked the gun to his head.

He closed his eyes in order to brace himself for the incoming impact, until...

“ _Sunshine_...”

Youngjae flinched at the nickname. His body went rigid, his finger trembling as it hovered on the gun’s trigger.

His gaze traveled to Jaebeom’s, who is looking at him with nothing but a warm smile.

“My sunshine...”

Youngjae sucked in a breath at the softness of the elder’s voice. He closed his eyes and shook his head rapidly, in an attempt to prevent the man from affecting him.

“ _Stop_...”

Jaebeom was relentless, however.

He was determined to bring his sunshine back.

“Youngjae...”

At the mention of his name, Youngjae started crying. Jaebeom kept his eyes locked to the younger, not caring about anyone else but the man in front of him.

“Don’t... don’t call me like that, hyung. Please...”

”Youngjae...”

That was the breaking point for Youngjae as he dropped his gun and crumpled down the ground, his face brimming with tears.

“I can’t... I can’t do it...”

Hanyoung stared in disbelief at the blatant disobedience. He marched towards his son in rage and started kicking him mercilessly.

“What the fuck do you mean you can’t do it?! I’ve trained you for this your entire life! I invested so much on you, and now you tell me you can’t pull the damned trigger?!”

Youngjae whimpered and cried on the ground as his father continued hitting him.

Jaebeom jerked wildly as he saw the younger being beaten up ruthlessly.

“Stop hurting him, you piece of shit!”

Hanyoung paused as he glanced at Jaebeom, whose eyes filled with so much anger and hatred.

He looked at his son and Jaebeom alternately, and it was only then that he realized what was happening.

“Don’t tell me...”

Hanyoung gripped his son’s head, earning a snarl from Jaebeom.

“Let him go!”

The elder choi narrowed his eyes in displeasure, the protest from the other confirming his suspicion.

“So this is why you can’t... you‘re smitten with this man, aren’t you?”

Hanyoung threw Youngjae down to the ground, disgust apparent on his features.

“It was clearly a mistake letting you go to school. I knew you’d already been poisoned by your bitch of a mother when you were young. Fuck. I should’ve made you stay here.”

Youngjae slowly turned his head towards his father upon hearing that, confusion evident on his features.

“Wh...what are you talking about? What mother?”

Hanyoung didn’t answer the younger, however. In fact, it didn’t seem like he heard anything, as he continued muttering under his breath, his teeth gritted tightly together in annoyance.

“That bitch Yuna... if only I got rid of her earlier... damnit.”

Youngjae’s face paled at that. He slowly sat up, his entire body shaking at the revelation.

“You- you mean to tell me... Yuna.. my Nana.. is my mom?”

Hanyoung shrugged in reply, unaffected by his son’s look of betrayal.

“Yuna was some slut who got pregnant after one try. I was going to get rid of her right after you were born, but the bitch pleaded to take care of you without revealing her identity.”

Youngjae couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

After all those times that he longed for his mother’s presence, she was right there next to him all along.

It was then that he realized the gravity of his father’s words.

“You said, you got rid of her... you didn’t—“

The younger couldn’t even finish his sentence, afraid to hear the truth.

Hanyoung, however, didn’t care.

“She was getting in the way.”

With that, Youngjae only saw red. He started screeching as he grabbed his discarded gun on the floor, aiming the weapon towards his father.

“You... monster! I did horrible things for you! I followed your orders blindly like a damned cattle! How could you do this to me?!” 

Youngjae’s hysterics caused chaos within the room. Hanyoung’s men suddenly aimed their guns towards the screaming man, while Jaebeom is thrashing loudly at the side. Jinyoung silently wept for their lives to be spared, his body shaking uncontrollably.

Throughout the commotion, Mark remained deathly quiet. He had been listening intently into his in ear, waiting and anticipating for the signal coming from his men. 

Then...

_“Boss! We got the snipers! They’re down! Now’s your chance!”_

Surely enough, when Mark directed his gaze towards the two captives, he did not see any red dot aimed on both of their heads.

It was time to strike back.

The mafia leader used the chaos that was happening in order grab a small knife embedded in his secret pocket, focusing all of his strength in his legs in order to stand up. He swiftly turned around and slashed the man behind him on the throat, while simultaneously grabbing the gun from him.

His agility caught everyone off guard, and before anyone could act, the mafia leader had started firing. 

Before Hanyoung and his men could even retaliate from Mark’s attack, bullets started flying around the window pane. Screams were heard throughout the room, and Mark’s vision zeroed in on the blonde man that was about to grab Jinyoung away. The mafia leader directed his gun towards Chanyeol’s head, and shot without hesitation. The man’s body limped down, and Mark hurriedly ducked down and grabbed the younger away from the corpse.

Jaebeom was too far away from them however, still being held down by Hanyoung’s men. Before Mark could reach him, the doors behind him opened and revealed Bambam, who was waiting for the right moment to intercept. The thai grasped Jaebeom securely and motioned for Mark to head towards the door where he came from.

“Come on!”

The group started running towards the hallways, Mark holding Jinyoung close to him on the side. When they rounded one corner, a man tackled the mafia leader, who in turn quickly disarmed him and shot him in the head.

They managed to outrun the onslaught of men coming towards them as they hid into a small closet they found along the way. 

Thankfully, the men ran past them, and it was in that small space that they got their bearings back. Mark’s attention immediately shifted to Jinyoung, who by then looked like he was about to pass out from exhaustion and pain.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?”

The elder checked Jinyoung for any injuries, but the younger could only stare at his worried face.

“You came for me.”

Mark paused for a moment and smiled, his soft expression completely contradicting the way he barreled through his opponents like they were nothing.

“Of course I did. You know I‘d follow you anywhere.”

Jinyoung wanted to hug the elder, to tell him how scared he’s been all this time. The past few hours had been incredibly traumatizing for him, and seeing Mark’s face in front of him calmed him down greatly.

The younger wanted to say something, but their little moment was cut off when Jaebeom spoke.

“This is all your fault.”

Mark directed his gaze towards Jaebeom, the younger’s hatred visible in his features.

The mafia leader can only nod in agreement.

“I know.”

Jaebeom wasn’t too happy about the elder’s apparent admittance. He needed to speak his mind, and so he stepped forward and was about to say more, but then Bambam stood in front of him, the thai’s posture showed a silent warning.

“You don’t know what Mark hyung has done. You have no right to accuse him of anything.”

Jaebeom narrowed his eyes at the younger. He is not one to back down from a fight, so he furthered his step and invaded Bambam’s personal space.

“I don’t care what he’s done. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him. He’s the reason why Jinyoung’s in this mess!”

Bambam scoffed at the accusation. He sneered as he looked at Jaebeom, unwilling to let the elder spook him.

“Are you sure about that? Wasn’t it your boyfriend that snitched about Jinyoung hyung? If you want to blame someone, you can blame that traitor.”

Jaebeom fumed at the way Bambam carelessly mentioned Youngjae. He grabbed the younger’s shirt, his face beet with anger.

“What the fuck did you just say?“

Bambam gave him a dirty look.

“I said, your boyfriend is a fucking _traitor_.”

“You _mother_ —”

Jaebeom was ready to punch the living daylights out of the thai, that was until Jinyoung stepped in between to separate them.

“Stop it, both of you! Now isn’t the time for all of this! We’re hiding, remember?!”

As soon as Jinyoung spoke, they heard footsteps getting closer to their hiding place. Mark and Bambam stepped forward towards the door, their guns ready to intercept whoever finds them. 

All four of them tensed up when the door opened, only for them to breath a sigh of relief right after when they figure out that it was someone they know.

Bambam is the first to speak up.

“Oh thank god. It’s you, Jackson.”

Jackson came to their view, his expression guarded and serious.

“I’m here to get you all out.”

The blonde’s eyes wandered around the room to survey the situation, and silently felt relieved that they all looked relatively fine.

His gaze landed on Jaebeom, who was staring at him in bewilderment. He felt nervous all of a sudden, as the elder is looking at him with such intensity. However, Jackson couldn’t let Jaebeom’s questioning stare deter his focus, they needed to get out of there alive.

“What’s the situation outside, Jacks?”

Jackson shifted his gaze towards Mark.

“There were a lot of Hanyoung’s men than we originally thought. They suddenly appeared out of the blue when JunK hyung and the others infiltrated the area. They’ve been raining bullets ever since we entered, it’s like they’re trapping us inside or something.”

“And gyeom?”

“I left him outside the car with Taec-hyung. He’s safe.”

Mark heaved a sigh of relief.

“Okay. We need to move. Now.”

The group then started to advance in order to escape. They placed Jinyoung and Jaebeom in the middle, with Jackson leading the group and Mark guarding their rear. The elder kept Jinyoung close in front of him, who in turn was clutching tightly to Jaebeom’s hand.

They were only able to walk a bit further from where they hid when they were attacked once again. The group managed to duck down under a wooden box for protection from the onslaught. They were too caught up in the barrage of bullets in front that they didn’t see another group sneaking up them from behind.

One of the men saw an opportunity to shoot, and when Mark realized he was aiming for Jinyoung, he quickly engulfed the younger into his arms to protect him.

The mafia leader groaned in pain as the bullet lodged straight into his shoulder.

“Mark!”

Bambam cursed loudly and swiftly shot the man, aiming straight in the head, as well as striking the others with precision. Jinyoung gasped in horror as he watched the elder’s blood pour out and down his shoulder.

“Oh my god...no... no...”

Mark felt his shoulders throb with intense pain, but seeing Jinyoung’s distressed face kept him from showing how excruciating it really is.

He gave a small smile and wiped the tears that continuously flowed on the younger’s eyes.

“Don’t cry. I’m fine Jinyoungie, it’s just a gash. I’ll live.”

Jinyoung sobbed even harder as he shook his head in disagreement, the feeling of fear rising in his chest.

“Stop joking around! That’s not just some gash, you idiot!”

Jackson had finally manage to put down the men up front when he heared more footsteps approaching.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance. 

“We can’t stay here.”

Jinyoung tore some of his shirt and placed it on Mark’s wound to apply pressure. He then hoisted the elder up so they can start moving towards the exit.

They rounded the corner up ahead, and when they turned, they saw Youngjae heading towards them.

Jackson and Bambam immediately pointed their guns towards the younger, who’s hands quickly shot up in the air.

“Wait! I’m not going to hurt you!”

Bambam glared at Youngjae, clearly not believing him.

“Bullshit! You’re the reason we’re here in the first place!”

Youngjae waved his hands in the air, his expression frantic.

“I-I know that! But... what I did was a mistake! I swear!”

Jackson stepped forward this time, his expression filled with fury.

“And how the fuck is it a mistake huh? You lured Jinyoung to that place so you could use him against Mark hyung! He’s your friend, for god’s sakes! How could you do that?!”

Youngjae winced at the accusation, obviously guilty about what he did.

“I-I know that! I know what I did, but you have to understand! My entire life, I’ve been told that the Tuan’s were the reason why we were struggling, and why my mother left us because she couldn’t handle living like that! I’ve harbored this hatred ever since I was young that as soon as I knew about Jinyoung hyung and Mark Tuan’s relationship, I couldn’t control myself!” 

Youngjae‘s pleading eyes then turned to Jinyoung.

“Hyung, please! You have to believe me! I’m really sorry! I want to do right by you! I know a way where you could get out of here without being detected!”

Jinyoung stared hard at Youngjae, who looked so desperate and pitiful in front of him. He looked so sincere in what he is saying, and the elder is suddenly transported back into the times where he would always see Youngjae’s genuine expressions. 

Jinyoung felt his heart constrict at the sight. 

This is him. This is the Youngjae he’s grown to know and love.

He knows what to do.

“Okay. I believe you.”

Mark stared at the younger in disbelief, together with Bambam and Jackson.

Jaebeom kept quiet, his attention solely focused on Youngjae.

Bambam is the first to protest against it.

“You can’t be serious, hyung! He’s the reason why you’re here!”

Jinyoung disregarded the concern, fully convinced about his decision.

“I know what I’m talking about. Mark’s wounded, were trapped, and we don’t know where we’re going. We’ll die if we don’t get out of here soon.”

The group seemed unconvinced, so he spoke again.

“If you don’t trust him, then trust me instead.”

The duo was about to protest even more, but then Mark sighed in resignation.

“Alright. We’ll follow Youngjae.”

“WHAT?!”

Mark stared at the two, frustration already apparent on his features.

“We can’t waste anymore time. We’re going to follow him, and that’s final.”

The finality in the mafia leader’s voice is what made the two agree, albeit begrudgingly. Youngjae gave a slight nod of gratefulness to Jinyoung, who smiled in return. He then turned and ushered them forward.

“This way.”

Slowly but surely, the group made their way towards the building. Sounds of guns continued echoing in the area, but luckily they hadn’t encountered anyone along their way.

No one spoke a word throughout their journey, the air around them tensed and vigilant.

Bambam and Jackson kept their guard up the entire time, they needed to be ready just in case Youngjae lures them into a trap. Jinyoung held Mark close to him, but his eyes kept darting back to his best friend, who hasn’t said a word ever since Youngjae showed up. He could only guess the barrage of thoughts entering his best friend’s mind. 

Not long after, Youngjae led them downstairs, and there they saw a dark tunnel stretching far and wide in front of them.

“This will lead you outside, just go straight ahead.”

When the group slowly made their way inside the tunnel, a loud sound suddenly rumbled behind them, startling everyone. 

Jinyoung turned around at the sound, and there he saw a metallic gate locked in place of the entrance. They were separated from Youngjae, who was on the other side.

The younger felt panic rise up in his chest. Did Youngjae betray him? Again? 

Jackson ran in front of the gate in anger and banged it loudly. 

“What are you doing?!”

Youngje only replied with a small smile and turned to Mark.

“You should order your men to get out of here quickly. There’s explosives around the building, the one we stole from your hideout. We were going to trap you all inside and detonate it.”

Heeding the warning, Bambam and Jackson started barking orders from their in ears, informing their people about the situation.

Youngjae continued. 

“You only have three minutes, so you have to run. The lights in the tunnel will guide your way. We were going to use this for our escape.”

Jinyoung’s heartbeat started getting faster as he saw the gate separating them.

“Wait... w-what about you?!”

Youngjae shook his head and smiled.

“I can’t go with you. Father needs to be stopped once and for all. I can’t let him leave this place. Plus, I’m the only one who could pull that trigger. I’m the one who devised it, after all.”

For the longest time that day, Jaebeom finally broke his silence. He stepped forward slowly and gripped the handle bar, his body trembling in alarm.

“Wait... what are you saying?”

Youngjae flashed him a sad smile. He snaked his hand inside the bar and gently caressed the elder’s face.

“I’m sorry hyung. You weren’t supposed to be here. You could just imagine how devastated I was when I saw you tied up.”

Youngjae shook his head, as if correcting his thoughts.

“No... this shouldn’t have happened at all.”

The younger directed his gaze towards Jinyoung, who was already crying heavily.

“Jinyoung-hyung, I’m so sorry I dragged you into this. You didn’t deserve to be in this mess.”

The elder sobbed and shook his head.

“What are you saying... you need to come with us Jae-ah...”

Youngjae only smiled, and turned to Mark next.

“The sins of our fathers made it’s way down to us... I’m sorry I let my blind hatred get the best of me.”

He then caught Jackson’s eye, a meaningful smile forming on his face.

“Take care of him for me.”

Jaebeom gripped Youngjae by the hand, earning the younger’s attention back to him.

“Sunshine... you don’t need to do this... please, just come with me...”

Youngjae’s tears started falling freely from his face.

But even then, he still looked beautiful in Jaebeom’s eyes. 

“Thank you for everything, hyung. For the past few days, you’ve made me the happiest that I’ve ever been since Nana left. You were the reason why I kept going, otherwise I never would’ve stayed.”

Jaebeom kept the younger’s hands close, tears already forming in his face.

“No.. don’t say that... please..”

The younger kissed the hard knuckles that were clutching his hand, his heart aching to just hold on and to never let him go.

“You know hyung, I may have lied a lot about myself, but there’s one thing that I have always been truthful about.”

Youngjae gave a vibrant smile, one that rivaled the sun, the stars and everything in between.

“I love you, Jaebeom hyung. I always had, and I always will be.”

Youngjae slowly loosened his grip on the elder, and Jaebeom screamed for him to come back. He kept on screaming as the younger ran back upstairs, his back facing them no matter how much Jaebeom pleaded for him to turn around. 

Jaebeom thrashed and wailed as Jackson pried him away from the bar and into the darkness of the tunnel. He didn’t stop calling out for Youngjae even as the light gradually faded in front of him, leaving him stuck, alone, and miserable.

Jinyoung was no exception. He kept pleading for Youngjae and tried to run back, but the wounded Mark held him away and urged him deeper towards the tunnel. 

They manage to get out just in time, because as soon as Jinyoung turned back towards the tunnel, that’s when it happened.

The building suddenly filled with sounds of explosions from every direction. Debris started falling through the air, and huge waves of fire engulfed the entire area.

_“NO!!! YOUNGJAE!!!”_

Jaebeom lunged forward in an attempt to run back, but Jackson tackled him straight down to the ground.

“Stop it, Jaebeom! It’s dangerous!”

“No! I have to... Youngjae’s still inside! I need to get to him!”

Jinyoung could only watch as the building slowly crumbled at the mercy of the fire, his mouth agape in shock and devastation. 

This couldn’t be real. This is all just a dream.

Suddenly, he felt his chest tightening by the second. He felt his surroundings slowly turn around him, and an unimaginable pain started creeping through his body. 

Jinyoung gasped and wheezed as he struggled to breath. It was all too much, and he wanted everything to stop. His heart couldn’t handle all this pain and remorse, and he wants it all to end.

Slowly, he felt his consciousness slip, and the last thing he remembered is Mark calling out his name, before he gradually succumbed into the darkness. 

——

When Jinyoung woke up the following day, he was hysterical. He didn’t know where he was, who he’s with and what’s happening to him. It took him a while to finally realize that he’s in a hospital with the help of two nurses who calmed him down and Jaebeom’s presence assuring him that he’s safe, and that he’s no longer in danger.

There, the Doctor told him how much damage he’s taken: A mild concussion due to head trauma, multiple bruises on his body, and two fractures on his right rib. Jaebeom only managed to get minor injuries, but the gravity of their physical injuries didn’t matter, because both of them knew who’s hurting the most right now.

When the doctor finally left them alone that day, it was like a dam suddenly broke inside Jinyoung.

Jaebeom was with him in an instant. He clutched Jinyoung’s hand tightly as the younger wailed in despair.

Everything felt so unreal, like what they’ve gone through was just a fleeting nightmare. 

But it did. Youngjae’s gone, and he’s never coming back.

Jaebeom cried with him, and when the elder sobbed harder and stronger, Jinyoung held him tighter, despite the searing pain in his injuries. He didn’t care about his bruises, because right now all he could think about is being there for his friend, even though he is hurting as well.

Silence flowed as they shared this intimate moment, and for them words aren’t needed, because being each other’s company is more than enough to ease their pain, even if it’s just for a while.

——

It had been two days since the incident, and two days in with Jinyoung’s stay in the hospital. The doctor advised him to be admitted until the next month, because his fractures needed time to heal completely.

It hadn’t been easy, because the younger kept having nightmares about the kidnapping, causing him to lose sleep. Jaebeom was no exception, and Jinyoung’s heart would break everytime he hears the elder cry when he thinks the younger isn’t conscious. 

It’s the afternoon of the second day when Jaebeom decided to go for a walk.

“What time are you coming back?”

Jinyoung asked, his face full of anxiety.

“I don’t know, probably later this evening? I’ll get you some tteok-bokki along the way.”

The younger couldn’t help but worry about Jaebeom’s safety. What if he gets taken as he goes for a walk? What if those people come back for him?

His expression clearly shows his state of mind, so Jaebeom had to reassure him.

“I’ll be fine, nyoung. I just need some fresh air, and to think about... things.”

Jinyoung noticed the flash of pain in the elder’s eyes, and he knew he couldn’t deny him of anything. 

The younger sighed in resignation.

“Okay. Make sure to be back right away, got it?”

Jaebeom smiled in silent gratitude.

“Yes, mom. Be back soon.”

Jinyoung watched helplessly as Jaebeom stepped out of the room and into the outside world. His heart kept racing so fast because of nervousness, but he reassured himself that his hyung is safe from danger. His nurse came in few minutes later to check on his injuries and status, and when she noticed that he wasn’t getting enough sleep, she put him in a medication that would assist him with his problem. 

The medication worked like magic, and Jinyoung slept without any nightmares that time. 

——

When he stirred from his slumber after receiving the medication, the sun had long set down from the earth. His room became dim, the only light source coming from the lamp softly illuminating the place. 

Jinyoung’s mind is still fogged with sleep, but he felt a presence move next to him.

Due to the medication he’s still disoriented, and he couldn’t figure out who the person is for a while.

Assuming that it’s his best friend, he called out to him.

“Jaebeom hyung? Is that you?”

The figure slowly backed away every time he moved, and when the person’s features hit the light and illuminated his features, Jinyoung‘s heart skipped loudly in his chest.

Mark is standing still before him, his body frozen as he got caught in the act.

“I... I’m sorry, I thought you were asleep.”

The literature major inhaled a sharp breath and sat up slowly, the throbbing in his sides completely overpowered by the pain he currently feels in his chest.

“What are you doing here?”

Mark shuffled awkwardly right where he stands, guilt etched in his features.

“I... I just wanted to see how you were doing. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Jinyoung clutched his hands tightly, his eyes downcasted.

Youngjae’s face haunted him whenever he looks at Mark, yet, his heart couldn’t help but call out to the man in front of him.

“How’s your arm?”

Mark unconsciously gripped his wounded shoulder, which was now fastened securely by a sling.

“It’s doing okay. You?”

Jinyoung kept his eyes down, unable to look at the elder in the eye.

“I’m fine. The doctors said they needed to check on my fractures, but I should be out after three weeks.”

A deafening silence followed afterward, and Jinyoung didn’t know what to do, or what say.

His insides started to churn uncomfortably, and an unexplainable feeling of dread crept at him.

He could feel it, something is about to happen.

“Jinyoung...” 

At that moment, Jinyoung looked up, and he wish he hadn’t.

Mark was staring at him full of guilt, full of regret and agony.

“I’m so sorry.”

Jinyoung kept quiet, and Mark took that as a sign to go on.

“I never wanted for any of this to happen. I knew the risks when I let myself love you. I’ve been arrogant, I thought I could protect you... and I obviously didn’t.”

“Why... didn’t you just tell me from the beginning?”

Mark smiled sadly at him.

“If you knew... would you have accepted me then?”

Jinyoung is silent, his mind pondering the question. Would he? This information might’ve changed their relationship from the beginning, they might’ve never been together in the first place if he knew right away. But, the younger couldn’t deny that loving Mark is one of the best decision that he’s made in his life. 

Would he have stayed or would he have left?

He would never know.

Suddenly, his thoughts drifted back to his bright dongsaeng. 

“Did you know...” Jinyoung’s eyes started to become glassy. “About Youngjae?”

It was Mark’s turn to avert his eyes.

“I did... but when I found out, it was already too late. You were already captured by them.”

Jinyoung let out a shaky breath, his heart pained at the thought of his best friend crying silently.

“Jaebeom... he’s crushed. I... I don’t know how he’ll get over this.”

Jinyoung wiped a few tears that escaped his eyes.

He doesn’t know how he’ll get over this, either.

“It’s all my fault. If I wasn’t born in this cursed family, none of this would’ve happened. His blood... is on my hands.”

Jinyoung wanted to protest to that, but what did he know about Mark’s history?

“I’ll absolutely understand if you hate me, Jinyoung. It’s all my fault.”

The younger watched as Mark struggled in keeping it together. Jinyoung’s heart pained to see him this way, looking so fragile and insecure, entirely different from the confident and charming man he knows.

“I... don’t hate you. I don’t think I’ll ever will.”

 _Because I love you too much_ , Jinyoung added quietly in his head.

Mark heaved a shaky sigh, one full of agony, full of pain.

“I don’t deserve your kindness, Jinyoung.”

The younger stared at Mark, a question prickling at the back of his mind.

“Do you regret it?”

The elder stared back, his eyes questioning.

“Do you regret loving me?”

Mark’s expression morphed into something sincere.

“I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I regretted, but getting to know you and loving you, Park Jinyoung, would never be one of them.”

Mark wanted to get close to the younger, to touch him and kiss him, but he knew it would only be painful.

Not for Jinyoung, but for him.

“You’re too kind and wonderful to be mixed up in my world, and I never deserved to be in yours. I’m the reason why you’re in that hospital bed, and I don’t want to ruin your life even more. That’s why...”

The initial dread that Jinyoung felt earlier came crashing back at him.

“I didn’t want you to see you awake, because... I came to say goodbye.”

Jinyoung wanted to say he didn’t expect it, but he did.

Mark soldiered forward, his eyes downcast and brimmed with silent tears.

“I’ve brought nothing but pain to you, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if someone finds out about you again. I understand now, that keeping you close would only cause more danger. So, I think it’s best if I... let you go.”

Jinyoung is shaking by then, his emotions bubbling up from his stomach, to his chest and towards the sides of his throat.

He wanted to scream, to run into Mark’s arms and beg him not do this. He wanted to yell how unfair it is, and how cruel Mark sounds by telling the younger that he’s breaking up with him this way. 

He didn’t want Mark to leave. 

He wanted to him stay. 

All those thoughts ran in Jinyoung’s mind like a marathon, but as he opened his mouth to speak, he couldn’t control the single word that came tumbling out of him.

“Okay.”

Mark nodded in understanding, his eyes glassy and his heart plummeting down his stomach.

This was it.

“I’m glad...”

Jinyoung kept his eyes downcast. He gripped his hands until it started hurting, unable to control the tremble it emits.

“So I guess... this is goodbye.”

Mark spoke quietly, his voice quivering slightly.

“I guess so.”

The elder slowly made his way through the door, sliding the handle to open it.

The light started hitting Jinyoung’s features, and the elder let himself memorize every inch of the younger’s face for the last time. 

Mark knew then, that missing Jinyoung would hurt like a bitch.

The younger kept his eyes down the entire time. He doesn’t want to see him go, because he’s afraid that if he looks up to stare at those warm orbs, he wouldn’t be able to control himself and stop Mark from leaving.

“Always take care of yourself. Goodbye, Park Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung’s voice failed him, and he couldn’t utter any form of reply. When the door slid shut and silence filled the room once again, the younger spilled out all of his tears of heartbreak.

He clutched his heart tightly, hoping that it would at least ease the ache, even for just a moment. His sobs filled the the room, and in order to lessen his agony, he kept telling himself that what he did was right, and that letting Mark go is better than holding on to him. 

He repeated those words like a mantra hoping that someday, he would finally believe them. 

_‘This is for the best, Park Jinyoung.’_ He told himself.

  
This is for the best.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys ready for more angst?

Jinyoung quietly fastened the last button on his shirt as he slowly prepared himself for another day at the University. 

He brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and gathered his things in his messenger bag. After making sure that he didn’t forget anything else he headed towards the door, heaving a deep breath first before finally opening it.

The literature major gradually maneuvered his way out of the dorms and out to the streets, the sudden exposure to cold emitting a shudder out of him as the frosty bite crept within his navy-colored parka. The air is especially chilly whenever December hits Seoul, and this season is no exception to that.

He trudged carefully through the icy path, and while walking he couldn’t help but notice the increasing amount of red and green decorations hanging on the streets in preparation for Christmas time.

Jinyoung could see how excited the people are around him for the upcoming holiday. He could hear Christmas carols playing in the speakers, and he could see the children roaming proudly with their santa hats as if Christmas is already here, when in fact, it’s still two weeks away. The atmosphere feels light and cheery, and he could feel that festive happiness radiate all around him.

It’s a lovely season to the say the least, and if only Jinyoung felt anything else other than numbness, he would’ve celebrated the holidays together with the rest of the world. 

The literature student finally arrived in his first class, and he immediately took a seat at the far end of the room. Usually, he would sit at the front row to listen to his professor’s lectures better, and he would greet his colleagues with a sweet smile. Now, he preferred to seat at the back, opting to give a small wave and a slight smile to the people who would greet him.

Whenever the young man is questioned about his choices especially by professors, he would always resort to the answer that _“Things change”_.

And indeed, 3 months after that fateful night took place, Park Jinyoung had truly changed.

——

It’s simpler to imagine that what happened to him was only a part of a long, and almost never ending dream.

The first few days of the aftermath, Jinyoung was blinded with denial. He didn’t want to believe that it was all true, didn’t want to deal with the thought that his entire world changed in just one night. He wanted so badly to open his eyes and realize all of it was just his lucid brain talking — Youngjae is still very much alive and is listening to music back at the dorms, Jaebeom is happy and painfully inlove with the music major, and Mark and him aren’t OVER —, however, the throbbing on his sides, the continuous beeping of his monitor, and the feeling of the needles sticking through his arm made him face the facts that he was not in some sick and twisted dream; he was living in a harsh truth wherein Youngjae’s dead, Jaebeom’s devastated from his tragic love, and Mark...

Mark’s gone from his life for good.

The reality of it all haunted Jinyoung almost every day from that point on. The nagging ache in his chest never left him even when he finally got out of the hospital and was sent back to his home for bed rest. It stayed and pressed itself within him even though his body already started healing it’s way towards full recovery. That constant throb and the feeling of dread in his stomach stubbornly followed him as he started going back to school after missing it for a month and a half, his anxiety flying through the roof when he first stepped in to the campus.

The crippling fear of being outside again made it difficult for him to live normally at the beginning that Jinyoung’s brain automatically acted upon it’s survival instinct and opted for a defense mechanism that would hopefully pull him out of his misery: he suppressed all those traumatic experiences and shoved them into the darkest part of his brain, burying it deep down so that he won’t be able to reach into it ever again.

It managed to work wonders for some time; he actually managed to briefly forget about anything related to the incident for almost an entire week, which enabled him to pick up some of his broken pieces in order to continue on with his life as he previously did prior to the incident. 

For a short while, Jinyoung had that precious glimmer of hope that he could finally be well again. 

That was, until the nightmares started happening.

Images of blood, guns, and death started waking him up at night, leaving him breathless and shaking every time he is jostled awake. Most nights he would cry himself to sleep, and other times he would try to stay up until his lids became too heavy and he can’t open them anymore.

With the combination of the constant pang in his chest every day and the plague of nightmares greeting him every night, Jinyoung’s behavior slowly shifted from bubbly and cheerful, to quiet and mysterious.

He is fully aware of the changes himself, and he’s come to accept that, because he knows all too well that the world isn’t going to adjust itself for him and wait as he tries to regain what he had lost. Life will continue on no matter what state he is in. It will not stop for him just to watch him get up on his feet; it will go on without him, and it will walk away without ever looking back to see the destruction it caused behind.

Ultimately, it was life that forced him to change, and this is who he has become now: a man who is permanently broken, left to wander throughout places alone as he looked at the world with fear and pain in his eyes.

A man who is lost, stuck in a recurring nightmare with nothing but misery to accompany him to his journey.

——

The final class of the day rolled by in a blink of an eye, and after the lecturer declared it to be over, Jinyoung carefully gathered all of his things in his bag so he could finally leave the classroom for the next batch of students to occupy.

The literature major made his way around the hallways like a shadow moving through the walls; quick, quiet, and undetected.

He had hoped that he could maneuver his way among the bustling college students in peace, but as soon he saw Professor Namjoon’s eyes staring determinedly at him from across the hall, he knew that what he hoped for won’t be happening at all.

When the professor crossed the sea of bodies and finally reached the literature major, the elder gave him a warm smile.

“Hello, Jinyoung. Heading to your students?”

Jinyoung nodded briefly to the professor. He accepted a tutoring job from the University for a couple of literature students who had been struggling with their subjects, especially in creative writing where he is most skilled at. He’d been teaching them for about two weeks now, and surprisingly, it’s a lot more enjoyable than he initially thought. The pay wasn’t the best since it was only two times per week for a handful of students, but he didn’t mind it that much. The fulfillment he feels whenever he sees their faces light up in understanding because of his explanations is worth more than any cash he could get. Plus, the extra work keeps him busy; he feels too worn out sometimes that he manages to sleep soundly without any nightmares.

Those precious nights come in rarity for him nowadays, and Jinyoung would gladly take up more tutoring in the future, if it only meant he could taste more of those peaceful nights.

“I see. Well, I won’t keep you for long. I just want to remind you about your interview tomorrow for the school newspaper. I know you’ve been declining a lot of these for a while now, so I’m truly grateful that you decided to accept this one.”

Jinyoung stilled at the mention of the upcoming interview. Ever since his novel became well-known after winning the inter-school competition, some local newspapers and radio stations had been dying to sit him down for an interview. He had declined every single one of them, in fear that if he presents himself to the public, he would gather unnecessary attention.

Jinyoung didn’t want particular people to recognize him, even though there’s been no threat to his life ever since he ended things with Mark.

The literature major continued refusing any media related appointments without fail, until Professor Namjoon asked him for an interview with Starlight, the University’s official newspaper, promising Jinyoung that this would be the only time he would ask of him.

Even if the younger wanted to say no, he couldn’t find it in his heart to refuse the professor, not when the elder contributed greatly with the final touches of his novel.

Jinyoung gave a hesitant smile to the elder, already dreading the upcoming event in his mind.

“I won’t forget. I’ll get going now, Professor.”

Namjoon pat his shoulder gratefully and proceeded to go on his own way. The younger let out a defeated sigh as he continued on to his path to the library, where his students were already occupying a large table as they waited for his arrival.

Jinyoung watched as two of his students bicker animatedly with each other about something completely random again, making him smile slightly as he slowly made his way towards them.

“Hey guys.”

Three heads snapped up at the sound of their mentor’s voice, their faces showing relief.

“Thank goodness oppa, you’re finally here!”

Joy, the only girl in the mentoring session grumbled slightly, frustration evident on her delicate features. 

Jinyoung offered an apologetic smile at the direction of the pouty sophomore. He reached down and ruffled her hair, earning him a whine in protest.

“Sorry about that. Our professor got caught up with the lecture, she was having so much fun dissecting ‘ _The Grapes of Wrath_ ’.”

Sungjae, another student of Jinyoung who is also a sophomore, sighed loudly in exasperation.

“Man, I hate it when teachers extend the time just to fit their lectures. They were given a time frame for a reason, they should stop when it’s over.”

Joy rolled her eyes at that.

“As if you’ve been attending classes at all. All you do is laze around in the soccer field!”

Sungjae scoffed and glared at the raven haired girl’s statement.

“Excuse you, I attend classes sometimes.”

Joy retorted with a nasty glare of her own.

“Uh-uh. I always catch you sleeping though.”

“Ew, are you watching me while I’m sleeping?”

The young woman blushed furiously at the accusation, immediately hitting Sungjae’s head out of instinct.

“T-That’s not the point! Idiot!”

The literature major could only shake his head in amusement as the two continued their bickering as if their life dependent on it. He made his way to sit next to Wonpil, his third and final student for the session. As he sat down and settled in, Wonpil flashed him a charming smile.

“How are you, Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung stared at the handsome brunette and unconsciously mirrored his smile with his own.

“I’ve been great. How was your assignment? Did you receive your mark for it?”

At the mention of the assignment, Wonpil immediately ruffled through his messenger bag in order to retrieve his paper. When he finally found what he was looking for, he proudly showed it to Jinyoung with a beaming smile.

“Your character analysis lecture the last time really helped me a lot. I managed to give an in-depth discussion about the behaviors of Bennet and Darcy, and for the first time ever, I got full marks!”

Jinyoung stared in awe at the remarkable score plastered in bright red on the right upper corner of the paper. His eyes brimmed with pride as he looked back at Wonpil, who is eagerly waiting for his reaction.

“This is amazing, Wonpil! You did so great! Congratulations!”

The brunette shook his head lightly, disagreeing with his words. Suddenly, Jinyoung felt a hand grabbing his own, and his breath suddenly hitched in his throat as the other gently squeezed his hand in appreciation.

“I couldn’t have done it without your help. This is all because of you, Jinyoung. Thank you.”

Wonpil’s hand didn’t leave his right away, and Jinyoung sat there frozen with their hands linked together.

With the initial shock slowly fading away, his eyes travelled from his hand and up to Wonpil’s eyes, the intensity of the brunette’s gaze made him instinctively swallow with nervousness.

Jinyoung could feel his palms tingle at the touch, but instead of feeling the warmth that Wonpil should be emitting from his hand, the literature major only felt cold all over.

A sudden laugh from Sungjae brought them back to their senses. Jinyoung hastily removed his hand away from Wonpil’s grasp as if he was pricked, unknowingly missing the tinge of hurt that reflected in the brunette’s eyes.

The student mentor cleared his throat in an attempt to wade off any awkwardness. He then proceeded to skim through the notes that he needed for today’s topic, all the while ignoring the stinging feeling that continued to stab his palm long after Wonpil’s touch left his skin.

“So, shall we start the lecture?”

The trio nodded enthusiastically and the group started their afternoon session. When they were finally done and had said their goodbyes to each other, Jinyoung made his way towards the bookstore, his final stop for the day.

He wanted to pick up some literature materials that he might need for his lectures, and being an employee there means that he gets to borrow books for free. He had been incredibly blessed to still have the job even after months of absence, and he is truly grateful for Uncle Jaesook, the owner, for being understanding.

The bookstore is one of the places where he feels safe and comfortable, and it’s so precious to him that it’s breaking his heart just thinking about not being surrounded by that warm atmosphere. 

The bell rang noisily as he opened the door to the shop, and he could see Seongwoo’s sleepy face perched at the other end of the counter. As he made his way towards the younger, his eyes instantly spotted a fresh bouquet of flowers perched prettily on their desk.

Seongwoo got back to his senses as he heard the bell chime. When he spotted Jinyoung approaching, he flashed the elder a soft smile.

“Good afternoon, hyung.”

Jinyoung smiled back at the drowsy male, but his attention is still locked on the flowers.

“Good afternoon. New batch?”

Seongwoo did a quick glance at the item and nodded nonchalantly.

“Yup, they arrived earlier this afternoon.”

Jinyoung hummed in reply as he studied the flowers more closely. Ever since he got back to work at the bookstore, they have been receiving flowers every week without fail. The item had no address of what shop it might come from, and when they tried asking the flower’s origins from the delivery man, they only got a shrug in reply. They had been getting them weekly for a while now that the employees already got used to it.

The flowers were a nice addition anyways, since it’s making their store smell nicer and look even prettier. 

They received Lavenders last week, and now a beautiful bundle of White Tulips is right in front of him.

The literature major would have stared at the pretty flowers a little bit more, if only Seongwoo didn’t get his attention. 

“Anyways, hyung. Did you need something?”

Jinyoung directed his focus towards the younger, suddenly remembering why he was there.

“Oh yeah, I’m just going to grab some books for my class. I’ll be quick.”

Seongwoo nodded in reply and let the elder do what he needed to do. Jinyoung proceeded to search for the books that he might need in the shelves, and when he finally found them after a few minutes, he went back to the counter to let the younger scan them by their barcodes in order to track the items for their inventory.

Once that was over, the elder bid his goodbyes to the younger employee, and as he turned back, his eyes automatically landed back to the Tulips on the table.

The burning curiosity to know who is already gone from Jinyoung’s mind, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t curious anymore.

The flower sender’s identity is a mystery, and he wonders if he could ever figure out who it is at all. 

——

The next day, Jinyoung found himself opening the door to the School newspaper’s office, where he is scheduled to be interviewed for the success of his winning novel.

He quietly glanced around the room to look for any signs of life, and it was at the long table that he found a person furiously typing away at his laptop.

The guy looked busy, but there was no one else who Jinyoung could talk to besides him at the moment.

“Um, excuse me?”

The person suddenly stopped what he was doing and looked up from his work. He looked annoyed for a moment, but when he realized who called for him, he stood up from his seat with a big smile and walked towards Jinyoung to welcome him.

“You’re here! Hi, I’m Lee Minhyuk, a senior from Mass Communications. I’m one of the literary columnist here in Starlight, and I’ll be the one interviewing you today.”

Minhyuk is a good looking man, and his smile is so infectious that Jinyoung instantly smiled back as an effect, albeit a bit reserved due to his anxiousness.

“H-Hello. I’m Park Jinyoung.”

Minhyuk nodded as if he knew that fact already. He ushered the younger to choose a seat to get comfortable, and the literature major decided to take the one next to Minhyuk’s.

“Do you want something to drink? We have coffee, tea... whatever you like.”

“Just water would be fine.”

Minhyuk showed an okay sign and roamed around the office for a few minutes, before coming back shortly with a glass full of cold water for Jinyoung, and a black coffee for himself. The senior then took up the seat where he was previously positioned in and directed his attention towards his interviewee.

“Okay. You must be a busy person, so I’m not going to hold you for too long. We’ll just jump right into it. Is it okay if I record our conversation?”

Jinyoung had hoped that the interview would pass by quickly, so hearing Minhyuk say that gave him a bit of a relief.

“It’s fine.”

The senior gave him a grateful smile and fished his phone out for the interview.

“All right! So, let’s start.” 

The senior opened his phone recorder app and then pressed the red button in order to start recording. 

“Recording one, two, three. I’m here with Park Jinyoung for the Starlight literature column, December 11, 2019.”

Minhyuk took a deep breath before continuing. Jinyoung followed his senior’s actions, mentally preparing himself for the questions that would be thrown his way.

“Welcome to Starlight, Park Jinyoung! First things first, I want to say Congratulations on winning the competition! It was definitely a well deserved award.”

Jinyoung gave a shy smile, the compliment about his hard work sending butterflies to his stomach.

“Thank you Minhyuk-sunbaenim. I appreciate it.”

“Please, you can call me hyung. Also, I would like to extend my gratitude to you for accepting this interview. From what I know, this is your first one ever since you’ve won the competition, is that right?”

The literature major nodded in confirmation.

“You’re welcome, hyung. And yes, this is the first interview I’ve attended.”

“I’m sure you’ve been asked to guest to a lot of other interviews bigger than this, so what made you decide to agree to this one, if I may ask?”

Jinyoung scratched the back of his head nervously.

“Well... at the time I received the news about the win, I was... unable to go due to some issues. I’m not really into the idea of attending any radio or tv broadcasts, because I just really get anxious for some reason. Professor Namjoon was the one who asked me about this interview, and I was hesitant at first, but then I thought it wouldn’t hurt to agree, because Starlight is for our Uni, and since it’s a newspaper column, my face won’t be broadcasted live anywhere.”

Minhyuk nodded in understanding.

“I see. We, the staffs in Starlight are honored to have you grace your presence here in our humble office. Now, you said that when you won, you weren’t able to go and accept the trophy personally due to some issues. Is it alright if I ask what was it about?”

Jinyoung suddenly felt uncomfortable at the personal question, but it was bound to happen sooner or later.

He just needed to say the exact same excuse that he told others for the past few weeks.

“Umm... well, I got into a bad car accident. Some drunk driver ran on me while I was walking on the streets one night.”

Explaining a car accident was the only reasonable excuse that him and Jaebeom could make up for the younger’s family when they were at the hospital back in Gyeoryeong.

They couldn’t hide in there forever without compromising any of their personal affairs, so when Jinyoung’s parents showed up one morning looking deathly worried for their youngest child, they had no other choice but to lie under their breaths.

They felt immensely guilty about it, but they made a promise to each other to not tell any one else about what really happened.

Surprisingly, the Doctors themselves backed them up with the car accident excuse when explaining Jinyoung’s injury to the worried family.

Their help was a huge breath of relief for the duo because it strengthened their alibi even more, but it left them confused however, because why would these medical professionals aid them weave a believable story without even knowing the whole truth?

It was only when his medical bills arrived that Jinyoung finally realized why the nurses and the doctors around him seemed to back him up, as well as take extra care of his well being far more than necessary.

Jinyoung had to convince his parents that the money he used for paying the entire expenses came from his personal savings, when in reality, he hadn’t paid a single cent.

He knew right there and then that Mark took care of everything behind the shadows.

It was also the last thing that he did for the younger, because ever since the night that they decided to part ways, Jinyoung never saw him again.

“I had to be confined for at least a month for my fractures, then be on bed rest for about two more weeks just to be sure.” The younger continued. 

Minhyuk looked disturbed hearing the incident, and when Jinyoung was finished explaining, he flashed the younger a sympathetic smile.

“I’m so sorry to hear that. Some people are just too irresponsible in the road nowadays. You’re all better now though, right? You’re not hurting anywhere anymore?”

The senior scanned Jinyoung from head to toe, and the younger smiled wistfully. 

“It’s a long process, but my body isn’t hurting anymore. So, I’m okay now... I hope.”

The literature major muttered the last words under his breath, and it was so quiet that Minhyuk completely failed to hear it.

The senior nodded absentmindedly, unaware of the younger’s inner thoughts.

“That’s good to hear. Now, I want to talk about the main event, your novel called ‘ _Star-Crossed_ ’. Jinyoung, I have to say one thing: IT’S A MASTERPIECE! I cried so much when I first read it!”

Jinyoung jumped slightly in surprise at the sight of Minhyuk’s sudden enthusiasm. He can feel his cheeks getting hotter, so he lowered his head in embarrassment.

“Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

The senior was too excited that he didn’t hear Jinyoung’s shy gratefulness. His eyes sparkled in admiration as he continued praising the younger about the said novel.

“It was _amazing_! The way you wrote the characters and the story was so gripping, I couldn’t put it down at all! You are a master of words, young man! You are a history in the making!”

Jinyoung scratched his nape, feeling flustered by hearing such intense compliments.

“T-Thank you. I was kind of nervous about how it would turn out, but hearing that made me reassure that I did well.”

Minhyuk pat the literature major by the shoulder in encouragement, dissipating the remains of self-consciousness that wound its way to the younger.

“Of course you did well! Everyone in this office read it! You have to tell us how were you able to write such a piece! How did it all start?”

Jinyoung played with his fingers unconsciously, a small smile playing on his lips as he recalled his novel’s origins.

“Well... For those who didn’t know, I made ‘ _Star-Crossed_ ’ because it was a requirement for me to acquire a scholarship. I needed to come up with a story for the Annual writing competition to represent our school. I didn’t need to actually win it, but I’m equally grateful for it anyways.”

Jinyoung could vividly remember how hard he cried when he received the news of his win. He was still at the hospital at the time of the announcement, and he wanted nothing more but to go back to Seoul and claim that award in front of everyone.

As if that wasn’t huge enough, he also received the news that what he had worked hard for finally paid off; he is now a full pledged scholar of the university.

Jaebeom and his parents were there to congratulate his success, and Jinyoung felt so ecstatic that time that his mind drifted back to what Mark would say when he informs the elder about the news.

By then, his thoughts were already formed long before he is even aware of it, and when he realized what he had done it was already too late to stop the wave of hurt that suddenly crashed unto him like a tsunami.

It was at that moment that Jinyoung experienced firsthand how a person could feel both happiness and sadness at the same time. 

“I see! Can you give us a little bit of a description of what the novel is all about? It might help with some people who haven’t read it yet to try!”

The literature major shuffled slightly in his seat, his brain suddenly on overdrive as he organizes his thoughts in order to convey them properly.

“Oh... well, ‘ _Star crossed_ ’ from the title itself, is a story of an ill-fated relationship between two people. The main characters built this bond with one another that pushed them to overcome every problems. They were happy for a while, until they discovered things that made them question if it’s even real in the first place. And...”

As Jinyoung explains the theme of the story, he couldn’t help but slowly picture himself to be in the same situation as his own characters. The love that he and Mark shared was definitely strong enough for him to power through all those days where he felt Mark’s absence so greatly.

Jinyoung was so sure that their relationship would make it till the end.

They had something special, absolutely magical, and yet, all those hopes and thoughts were rudely stripped away in just one night.

Memories of the past started making it’s way up to Jinyoung’s brain, gradually preventing the man to continue with his train of thoughts. 

Minhyuk looked confused for a moment, so in order to avoid unnecessary questions the literature major decided to cut his explanation short with a ( _hopefully_ ) witty answer.

“And... well, where’s the fun if I continued explaining? The rest of the story is up for the readers to figure out themselves.”

Minhyuk laughed happily, thankfully satisfied with the younger’s playful attitude.

“Interesting! You love to tease, don’t you Jinyoung-sshi? This may be a spoiler, but I specifically remember one part that broke my heart when I read it. It goes; ‘ _I’ve laid my heart on the ground for him to take without hesitation, but when his hands finally touched it, he pierced it on his arrow and placed it on a stake, high enough for everyone to see._ ’ That was definitely heart wrenching! Tell me, Jinyoung-sshi, what made you write those lines?”

Jinyoung took a deep breath as Minhyuk recited that particular line.

He remembered those words as clear as day, because it was what he genuinely felt when he found out everything about Mark’s double life.

Hearing it again made his heart beat wildly in his chest, and the emotions that he tried so hard to forget started crawling back to him yet again.

Unaware of the sudden shift in Jinyoung’s mood, Minhyuk continued his questioning.

“What was your inspiration, Jinyoung-sshi? Did you create all of those out of nowhere, or perhaps it came from personal experience?”

The final question, albeit asked innocently made Jinyoung’s throat constrict instantly.

The familiar feeling of nausea started bubbling, and he immediately felt the urge to run away.

“Umm.. I’m sorry Minhyuk-hyung, but can I ask for a break? I-I don’t feel good all of a sudden.”

Sensing the sudden change in the younger’s behavior, Minhyuk agreed without hesitation.

“Of course! Are you okay? You look kinda pale.”

Jinyoung stood up from his seat and smiled reassuringly at Minhyuk.

“I’m fine... I’m just going to get some fresh air. I’ll be back.”

Minhyuk nodded as he eyed the younger with concern. Jinyoung took the opportunity to leave the office in order to head towards the open hallways, where he could see the University Park directly underneath him. He took deep breaths as he calmed his beating heart, slowing coaxing himself out of the panic state that he was about to enter earlier.

He knew he had to answer questions regarding the novel eventually, but now that he’s doing it made him realize that he wasn’t fully ready to face it yet.

A part of him was poured in that novel; that is where he let out all of his anger and pain towards his miserable love, and revisiting it’s contents is like re-opening up deep wounds that was still on it’s first stages of recovery.

Talking about it nonchalantly is something that Jinyoung couldn’t do; it’s something that he could never do.

Seeing the bustling students around combined with the fresh air breezing through calmed him down a bit, so he decided that he needed to let those anxious energy completely out of his system first before heading back to the office.

Jinyoung continued his silent observation around the swarm of people, and as he swept his eyes across the scene, his attention landed on a particular person walking towards the opposite building.

There was something so familiar to him about the way the person moves, so, out of morbid curiosity, the literature major leaned in to take a closer look.

He quickly figured out that it was not such a good idea, because as soon as he realized who that figure might be, he stumbled backward in surprise.

His heart rate started racing like he’s participating on a marathon, and his eyes were blown wide due to shock. 

_No. It can’t be._

The person is a bit far for the literature major to actually confirm his suspicion, but even after all those months of not seeing him, Jinyoung would never mistake that figure for anyone else.

He knew he should stay right where he is and go back to Minhyuk to finish the interview, he knew that there’s a one in a million chance that he’s wrong about what he’s seeing, he knew that there’s nothing connecting them anymore, and he knew that he should stop letting that little bud of hope bloom in his chest because the pain he would feel right after is not worth the try.

Jinyoung knew all of that and more, and yet here he is, running through the hallways and down to the University park, in the hopes of seeing Mark’s face in front of him once again.

The younger didn’t even realize what he was doing chasing after an uncertainty, all he knew is that the numbness in his chest slowly started dissipating, and he felt alive again after months of living like an emotionless statue.

He can feel his heart pumping intensely; his blood coursing through his vessels as if his organs were left to starve for days and was only allowed to thrive again.

He accidentally bumped into so many people on the rush of catching up to Mark and his presence, and when he thought he’d finally caught up with him as he rounded up the hallway he saw him walk towards, he couldn’t find the latter anywhere. 

Jinyoung turned his head in all directions, hoping that he could spot that figure, but there was no one near him that even remotely resembles the man he was looking for.

Once the initial adrenaline from the run faded, Jinyoung immediately felt the exhaustion flood inside him.

He crouched down on the concrete floor in order to catch his breath, and it was at moment that he realized what happened.

“What the fuck am I doing?” Jinyoung muttered quietly to himself.

It’s been over for _months_ , he didn’t understand why he did something so irrational as that.

He just started running blindly, he didn’t even think about what he would do once he catches up to Mark. 

What would he even say? 

Jinyoung sighed dejectedly and rubbed his aching chest. The sudden shock of Mark’s possible presence only seemed to dig a deeper hole to his chest, leaving an even bigger space to his already broken soul.

_‘Stop being so damn stupid, Jinyoung. It wasn’t him.’_

He sat on the pavement for a couple of minutes, mentally slapping himself for acting with his heart and not his mind. He realized how foolish he must look to other people at the moment, so after pathetically convincing himself that he only hallucinated he decided to head back to the Starlight office to finish the interview, all the while apologizing to the people he unintentionally shoved along the way.

That incident clearly made an impact to Jinyoung’s focus, because he gave half-assed answers to Minhyuk’s remaining questions that the literature major couldn’t help but feel bad after it was over.

Mark’s plausible appearance didn’t leave his mind even when he walked back home, and he got so distracted by his thoughts that he didn’t notice the street sign still being red when he decided to walk straight ahead.

He only snapped out of it when he felt someone drag him back to safety, ultimately preventing him from an untimely death.

He couldn’t get the chance to thank the person who saved him however, because when he turned back to look, there was no one else but him at the sidewalk.

After that confusing incident, Jinyoung finally arrived back to his dorm room. He let out a deep sigh of relief as he opened the door and stepped inside, his body automatically relaxing at the comfort of his own space.

Being outside made him extremely anxious when he arrived back at the dorms for the first few days, opting for online orders when he buys his food. It was a struggle to fight back against his fears, but he couldn’t let himself be a prisoner to something that he had no control over.

Now, he’s slowly getting used to leaving his comfort zone to continue facing the reality outside.

It’s an ongoing battle with himself, but if Jinyoung wants to live normally again, he has no choice but to get through it.

As he started removing his shoes to place them in the shoerack, footsteps started padding through the room, and in no time a slim figure appeared right in front of him.

“Hyung! You’re back!”

Jinyoung gave a small smile towards his roommate, who is beaming brightly at his return.

“Oh... Hey, Hyunjin.”

When Jinyoung finally decided to go back to school following his bed rest, he dreaded going back to his own dorm room. That place held so much memories between him and Youngjae, and Jinyoung knew that one look at the younger’s personal belongings would remind him of the painful memories and he would break down all over again.

He expected the worse when he finally opened the door, but instead of scattered music notes and abandoned clothing he found Hwang Hyunjin casually laying down on what used to be Youngjae’s bed. There, Jinyoung found out that Hyunjin — a freshmen music major, _what a coincidence_ — would be his new roommate, and that the younger had been staying there for almost two months. Hyunjin informed him that the administrators called for the freshman when one of the students pulled out from dorm room 709, and that he was free to move in right away.

It took a lot of digging — and convincing his student body friends for some information — for Jinyoung to find out that not only did Youngjae pull out from their shared room in advanced, but he also dropped his studies in the University all together. 

Even back then, Youngjae planned on never coming back, regardless of whatever the outcome is with his father’s plans that night. 

The initial anxiety of having another roommate made Jinyoung feel wary about the freshman, but Hyunjin made it extremely hard for the elder not to grow some kind of fondness over him.

The younger male greeted Jinyoung happily whenever the elder returns to their dorm, he never pushed Jinyoung to talk to him if the elder doesn’t want to. He’s too adorable for his own good, and he had taken a great liking to Jinyoung as well, ultimately making the elder open up to him gradually.

“Have you eaten, hyung? I bought some bulgogi earlier. I saved you some in case you were hungry. There’s still rice left on the rice cooker, too.”

Jinyoung placed his bag to his table on the corner, then flashed Hyunjin with a grateful smile.

The way the freshman would leave him food reminded him so much of how Youngjae would do the same before, and the thought of that made his heart constrict in pain.

“Thank you, Hyunjin-ah.”

Jinyoung helped himself with the food Hyunjin graciously gave him, all the while engaging with the younger in a small talk. After he was done cleaning up the dishes, he then took a shower in order to refresh himself from an exhausting day.

The hot water quickly washed away the stress in his muscles, but it wasn’t good enough to distract him from thinking about who he might have seen earlier. 

It really couldn’t have been Mark, could it? Jinyoung was sure it was him by the way he walked; confident, alluring, and magnetic.

But then again, it’s been months since he last saw the elder.

Maybe things have already changed by now, because it sure has been entirely different for Jinyoung.

Maybe he was only seeing what he knew before about Mark’s mannerisms, and that it wasn’t really Mark at all.

Maybe he was completely wrong with his assumptions, and he only thought like that because that guy looked too similar with Mark’s body type.

Jinyoung sighed as he started drying himself from the excess water. Thinking too much about it made his head throb, so he decided to throw himself into his schoolworks that night without taking any breaks. He had hoped that by the end of finishing his workload, he was tired enough to prevent his thoughts from drifting back into the incident, but as soon as his head hit the pillows, his brain started laying out more possibilities. 

What if it _was_ Mark? What if he was right? What would he do then?

Jinyoung shook his head at those ridiculous thoughts. Surely it couldn’t be him. Mark’s been extremely good at hiding himself away from Jinyoung these past 3 months, so there’s no way he’s going to just randomly pop up in the middle of the University, where the literature major is constantly present.

There’s no way he’s going to show himself now, not when he clearly said goodbye to the younger the last time they met.

Thinking about their last encounter struck a chord in Jinyoung, and he willed himself to rid that hauntingly beautiful face out of his mind. 

‘ _Stop thinking about the past anymore, Park Jinyoung. What you saw wasn’t Mark. It was just some random dude that looked and moved like him._ ’

The literature major sighed as he convinced himself over and over. He turned to his side and hugged his pillow close to his chest, the words repeating in his head as he started closing his eyes. 

——

Somehow, the repetition worked, because he was able to convince himself hard enough that the incident slowly went at the back of his mind as the days went by. At the moment, the literature major is on the tip of his toes as he hurries to complete the last of his requirements before leaving the University for their Winter break. His family had decided to spend their Christmas and New Year back at their hometown, so he had to finalize his obligations in advance in order to prepare for their trip back home.

Currently, he’s concluded his tutor sessions for the year with his students, Joy and Sungjae greeting him a ‘ _Merry Christmas and Advanced Happy New Year!_ ’ before finally sauntering off to their own ways, while Wonpil offered to stay and help him fix his things.

When they finally left the library and Jinyoung was about to say goodbye and greet the brunette with a happy holiday, Wonpil spoke first.

“Jinyoung... I was wondering if you’re not busy, do you want to get coffee with me today?”

The literature major blinked his eyes repeatedly, not registering the question entirely at first.

Wonpil looked shy and embarrassed as he waits for the answer, but Jinyoung can only smile apologetically.

“I’m sorry, Wonpil-sshi... I actually have to pack my things today, since my family and I have to travel early tomorrow to our hometown for the holidays.”

Wonpil’s shoulder slightly slumped at the rejection, but then he quickly recovered and smiled sheepishly at the man in front of him.

“Oh... it’s fine. How about I walk you home instead?”

Jinyoung wanted to refuse the offer, but the hopeful look on the brunette’s eyes made him decide otherwise.

The walk wasn’t all that uncomfortable as he thought, as the two spent their time talking about the difficulties of school, as well as sharing embarrassing yet iconic moments that they experienced in University. Wonpil is extremely expressive when he conveys a story, and they were in the middle of the brunette’s recounted tale of getting shitfaced drunk on the lecture hall the entire evening that they realized they were finally in front of the University dorms.

Jinyoung was still bubbling with laughter as he turned back at Wonpil with a friendly smile.

“You didn’t have to, but thank you for walking me home.”

Wonpil’s face flushed at the sight of Jinyoung’s beautiful smile. He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment and smiled shyly. 

“O-Of course. Maybe we can have that coffee after the holidays?”

The hopeful tone didn’t go unnoticed to Jinyoung’s ears. He smiled wryly in return.

“Maybe. Have a great holiday, Wonpil.”

“You too, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung watched Wonpil walk away before heading towards his dorm room himself, a relieved breath coming out of him as he entered.

He didn’t mean to be a bit of a prick to the brunette, but he just couldn’t find it in himself to agree to any offer resembling a date. The prospect of someone asking him out for more than just a friendly get together sounds so foreign to him that he can’t help but recoil on the thought.

He’s not ready to dive into that sort of relationship again, not whenever he thinks about sitting down on comfortable cafe with someone he loves, the only face that he sees across him is Mark’s.

The literature major decided to distract himself away from those thoughts with packing the things he needed for the holidays. Hyunjin had already left for his own hometown the day before, so he has the place all to himself for the night. When he was done, he suddenly had an urge to go and visit Jaebeom. They won’t be able to see each other for about two weeks, and even though they would still communicate via texts, nothing still beats seeing his best friend in person.

So, with his mind made up, Jinyoung gathered his keys and wallet and made his way to the elder’s apartment, not forgetting to shoot a quick text to Jaebeom to let the other know that he’s coming. 

When he arrived at Jaebeom’s apartment 15 minutes later, the cafe owner is in the middle of cutting up the ingredients for dinner.

Jinyoung didn’t need to knock at the door as he had the spare keys to the elder’s apartment. The younger shamelessly let himself in and poked his head on the kitchen, smiling inwardly to himself as he noticed Jaebeom wearing the cutesy pink apron he gave to the elder as a joke last Christmas.

“Hey. Need help?”

Jaebeom narrowed his eyes at the younger’s suspiciously helpful mood, certain of the fact that his best friend must be having the time of his life seeing him at a ridiculous outfit.

“Just stay in the living room. I’m not risking my apartment’s safety with your cooking.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes playfully.

“Excuse you, I’m a great cook. Although, I wouldn’t mind setting your kitchen on fire, if it only means you running around outside with your cute apron on. That would be a great blackmail material.”

Jinyoung snickered as Jaebeom muttered profanities under his breath.

“Tsk. Get out of my kitchen, brat.”

“As you wish, cutiepie BeomBeom.”

The younger laughed out loud and ducked instantly when a piece of carrot went flying through his head, ultimately deciding to head back to the living room to stay out of Jaebeom’s wrath.

The literature major decided to explore the area for a little bit, letting his eyes wander at the organized space.

Jaebeom’s apartment definitely speaks who his bestfriend is as a person; chic and simple, yet modern and stylish. 

The younger noticed three multi-colored pet feeders near Jaebeom’s bedroom door. Jinyoung expected his bestfriend’s cats would come crawling to him as they usually would whenever there are guests, however the said pets were nowhere to be seen.

“Hyung, where’s your babies?”

Jinyoung asked as he crouched down to inspect the bowls.

Sounds of sizzling pans were heard first before Jaebeom’s loud reply.

“I took them to the vet this morning for their monthly check up. Kunta’s been having a bad cough lately, I’m afraid he’ll infect Nora and Odd with it. I’ll bring them back home tomorrow.”

Jinyoung gave a loud ‘ _Ah_ ’ in response and left the bowls alone. He then continued to roam around and ended up standing in one of the walls that was purely dedicated to the pictures that the elder took himself.

The last time he visited, the wall wasn’t full, but now it seemed that Jaebeom added an entire album worth of new photographs.

Jinyoung brushed his hands to some of the photos that made great memories to him, silently laughing to himself as he recalled the stories behind them.

One particular photo took his interest, the one where a 12 year old him and a 13 year old Jaebeom were hanging upside down a monkey bar. He tried removing the pin that held it to the wall to give it a closer look, and when he successfully removed it, he didn’t realize that there was another photo pinned beneath it, making the second photo fall face down to the ground.

When Jinyoung picked it up and curiously turned it around, nothing could prepare him for its content. 

It was a picture of Jaebeom and Youngjae together under the soft glow of the sunset, smiling beautifully as they faced the camera. Jaebeom was hugging Youngjae from behind, his chin placed lovingly on the younger’s shoulder as his eyes disappeared from excessive grinning.

Youngjae looked so radiant next to him, it was almost unreal.

He was glowing so much that if someone were to see this photograph, they would feel the happiness that he’s feeling.

His smile has always been infectious; and right in that captured moment he looked so happy and contented, that Jinyoung’s breath hitched in his throat as he solemnly traced the younger’s features, tears threatening to form in his eyes. 

Youngjae had always rivaled the sun with his brightness. When he died, his radiance was not the only one that disappeared, because on that fateful night where the building collapsed and trapped him underneath, Jaebeom’s light died together with him.

“Jinyoung?”

At the sound of his name, Jinyoung hastily pinned back the photos into some random place, just in time for Jaebeom to reach right where he is.

“Y-yeah?”

Jinyoung’s hands shook uncontrollably that he placed them behind his back to hide them, and if Jaebeom noticed his glistening eyes he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he gave the younger a small smile.

“Dinner’s ready.”

The younger nodded eagerly. He glanced back to the location of the photo one last time, before following Jaebeom towards the dining table for the prepared dinner.

They sat on opposite ends of each other and started digging in. Well, Jaebeom did, because Jinyoung’s mind is still hung up about the picture that he saw.

His eyes landed to the man in front of him, and Jinyoung suddenly got curious about what the elder is feeling right now.

Ever since they returned to their respective lives, Jaebeom had not once talked about anything related to the incident. The younger knew that it wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism, but he knew better than to push his best friend into talking about something so sensitive to him.

Jinyoung knew he should understand, but still, it hurts to think that Jaebeom refused to let him carry some of his burdens.

God knows how much Jinyoung wanted take away all of his sufferings, because the elder is such a kind soul, and he did not deserve to lose his happiness. 

The literature major must have been spacing out for quite some time, because Jaebeom paused mid-meal in order to question what the younger is doing.

“What’s wrong? Is the food not good?”

Jinyoung blinked repeatedly as he got out of his trance, quickly shaking his head and smiling sheepishly.

“N-no, it’s great. Thank you for making it, hyung.”

The literature major then grabbed his chopsticks in haste, as if proving to the other that everything is fine.

When Jaebeom turned back to his food, Jinyoung decided to start a conversation.

“Are you closing your shop for the holidays, hyung?”

Jaebeom nodded as he took a piece of honey garlic chicken he made earlier, thankful that it isn’t too burned.

“Only for Christmas day and New Year. My folks would be visiting here for the 25th, but they can’t stay for long because of the farm.”

Jinyoung hummed in understanding. Jaebeom’s parents owns a small farm that they needed to tend to 24/7 back at Gyeonggi-do. It’s difficult for them to meet often due to that, but with combined efforts from both sides the family manage to visit each other sometimes, even if it’s only during holidays. 

The thought of Jaebeom’s parents brought a small smile to the younger’s face.

“Send my regards to Aunt and Uncle, I’m sure they’re missing their second son by now.”

Jaebeom rolled his eyes in fake annoyance.

“That’s because you’re not visiting them anymore, but sure, I’ll tell them. How about you?”

Jinyoung sighed as he stabbed his chicken with his fork, his appetite suddenly gone.

“We’re... heading back home. To Jinhae.”

Jaebeom sensed the change in Jinyoung’s mood. The elder knew why the younger’s behavior suddenly shifted, because he was the one who listened to Jinyoung gush about his and Mark’s road trip to Jinhae all night long.

He’s certain that Jinyoung feels anxious about going back to the place where they left a lot of meaningful memories behind.

With that thought, Jaebeom took Jinyoung’s hand and held it reassuringly.

“You’ll be okay. If it gets too much, you know you can call and text me anytime, right?”

Jinyoung took a deep breath and squeezed Jaebeom’s hand back in silent gratitude.

“Yeah, okay.”

——

The reassurance that Jaebeom gave him that night was what helped Jinyoung propel his feet to their family car the next day, as they started their journey towards Jinhae-Gu.

This is the first time in almost 3 months that he would be back again, the last time was when Mark was driving next to him.

Jinyoung’s eyes took in the familiar road ahead of him, and waves of memories started flooding him about how much fun he had when he traveled the same road together with the elder. That nagging ache felt stronger than before, and that sadness must have been visible to his face, because suddenly he felt a hand creep up in order to hold his tightly.

Jinyoung looked away from the window and stared back at Bo Young, who is smiling solemnly at him.

The younger smiled back and squeezed her hand in return, telling her wordlessly that he’s okay.

He decided that in order stop himself from reminiscing everytime he sees his surroundings, he would sleep instead.

It proved to be an effective trick, because a few hours after, Bo Young is already shaking him awake.

“Nyoungie, we’re here.”

Jinyoung stretched his stiff body as he stepped out of the car, his gaze landing on his home. In a flash, images of Mark’s awestruck expression as he takes in the humble surroundings suddenly invaded through the literature major’s mind.

He would’ve stayed rooted on his spot just thinking about Mark over and over, if it weren’t for So Young ushering him gently inside.

Jinyoung thought that seeing the house again from the outside is bad, but when he finally went inside and into his room, it was even worse.

He must’ve been crazy, because he could still smell the lingering scent of Mark’s perfume all over his bed.

He can still feel the elder’s presence around the four corners of the room that he didn’t know whether to laugh in his insanity or cry because of his misery.

He didn’t know how long he was standing there in the dark just contemplating when a soft knock erupted from the door. When he opened it, his mother was standing on the other side.

“Honey, we’re heading to your Auntie Min’s restaurant for lunch. Is that okay with you?”

Jinyoung sucked a small breath as he forced a smile at his mother.

“Yeah. I’ll be out in a minute.”

After the door closed, Jinyoung slowly slid down on the wooden door and cradled his head to his hands, his chest constricting in pain. He’s only a few minutes back into the house, yet it already feels like he’s been inside for hours.

He already feels drained just thinking about what’s going to happen at lunch, however, he couldn’t let his family know how much he’s suffering.

They’ve been through enough, so Jinyoung tried his best to put on a calm face as they head out for the afternoon.

The young man dreaded the walk all the way to his Auntie Min’s place. He’s scared that the elder woman would suddenly talk about Mark in front of his family. His parents never knew about Mark’s existence until the very end, and while he did give Bo Young and So Young the news of their separation, he didn’t tell them about Mark meeting Auntie Min at all.

He was already expecting the worst when they arrived and the gentle woman greeted them in front of her restaurant, but instead of all that Auntie Min only gave him a warm hug.

“I’ve missed you, my sweet boy.”

Jinyoung felt both relief and heartache flood over him, as he hugged back with the same fervor.

“I missed you too, Auntie.”

The family spent their time talking with the restaurant owner, who in turn was equally delighted to see them again. Jinyoung enjoyed the cozy atmosphere of the place, and he let himself relax all throughout lunch.

When they were done and it was finally time to leave, Jinyoung hovered a little bit more as his family started to walk ahead of him.

“I’m happy to see you again, Auntie Min.”

Auntie Min chuckled lightly as he caressed Jinyoung’s cheek, her eyes full of silent understanding.

“I’m happy to see you too. I hope you’re doing better now.”

Jinyoung’s surprise didn’t go unnoticed to the elder, who only pat his cheek in return.

“Don’t be surprised, dear. You may not tell me anything, but I’ve experienced more than enough in this lifetime. I can see everything in your eyes.”

The younger closed his eyes as the hand on his cheek comforted him, letting his pain show to someone who isn’t Jaebeom for the first time.

Seeing that vulnerability from the younger, Auntie Min pulled him to a tight hug.

“Oh, my dear boy. I don’t know what transpired between you and Mark, but what I saw between you two was real. I just hope that whatever happened was worth losing that once in a lifetime love.”

Jinyoung only smiled sadly at her before finally saying goodbye.

Instead of going after his family however, his feet dragged him to another direction, and ultimately he decided that an afternoon stroll around the town would do him good. He had no destination whatsoever, he only followed where the wind is taking him at the moment.

He walked and walked, and when he finally got exhausted he found himself on top of a hill, where the old ferries wheel is still standing strong.

At the back of his mind, he knew that this is where he wanted to go, but he refused to acknowledge it in order to protect himself from any more pain.

As expected, seeing it again brought waves of hurt in his chest, so he let out a shaky sigh as he continued watching the abandoned ride all over.

“I wonder how you’re feeling right now...” 

Jinyoung muttered quietly to himself. Seeing no one around him made him a bit more courageous to spill out his feelings, so he did just that. He let out all of his frustrations out, letting only the wind hear what he has to say.

“Are you as hurt as I still am right now? Or have you already moved on from everything while I’m still like this? What can I do to stop this, Mark? What can I do to forget you?”

Jinyoung spent few more minutes just quietly looking at the scene, his thoughts running in his mind the entire time.

He was so sure that he was all alone in that field, so when someone tugged his sweater down he flinched back almost immediately.

When he looked at the person who surprised him, he noticed a young boy blinking owlishly back at him, making the literature major’s initial fear suddenly morph into fondness. He had always been extremely drawn to kids, so seeing the child brought small happiness inside him.

Jinyoung crouched down to match the child’s height in order to talk to him comfortably.

“Hi. Where did you come from, little man?”

Instead of replying, the boy suddenly shoved his hand near Jinyoung’s face, presenting a yellow flower towards the surprised elder.

“You shouldn’t be sad, mister. You look pretty when you smile.”

Blinking confusedly, Jinyoung accepted the child’s gift hesitantly. But before he could even ask about the sudden present, the child already ran off to another direction, leaving the literature major bewildered about what just happened. 

“Weird... when did that kid see me smile?”

Jinyoung inspected the flower in his hand. It was clearly picked from a garden somewhere, but nonetheless, it still looked beautiful.

Somehow, that child’s sudden appearance made him feel a little bit better. It was like someone above was telling him that it’s going to be alright.

Jinyoung smiled slightly to himself and inched the flower close to his nose, silently thanking the little boy who appeared out of nowhere.

Minutes after, he received a call from his sister, asking him where he was. He had completely forgotten about informing his family about his location, so after sheepishly apologizing to them on the phone, he decided to go back home before the night draws in. 

——

The days went by quickly as the family eagerly waited for Christmas day, and when it finally arrived, they celebrated the wonderful season with varieties of foods laid out on their table. Some of their old neighbors would drop by to catch up with the family, and Jinyoung busied himself playing with the children that they bring inside their home.

The celebration was very homey and nostalgic, and spending it with his family made Jinyoung appreciate what he had at the moment. The warmth and the love that his parents and sisters give him made him temporarily forget whatever he was going through in the moment. 

Things went smoothly for a couple days after Christmas, but the literature major knew better than to think that everything is finally alright. 

One night, as Jinyoung laid in his bed after a lively dinner with his family, he found himself unable to sleep. He kept tossing and turning, kept sighing every couple of minutes as he couldn’t find a comfortable position to rest. His mind kept him awake, and he knew very well what it’s all about. 

He still hasn’t gone back to THAT place.

The thought had plagued him for days ever since his arrival, but he had always brushed it away in hopes that it would just disappear.

It had been bearable at first, but tonight, he just couldn’t ignore it anymore. It was like that place is calling his name, urging him to come back and visit again.

There was a light buzz in his body that he just can’t shake, so with a deep sigh he pushed himself up from his futon and left his room. He quietly padded through the hallways in order to prevent anyone from waking up and seeing him walk outside. He went through the kitchen and opened the door that lead to the backyard, shivering slightly at the sudden bite of cold wind.

With a final tug on his jacket that he took along the way, the literature major willed himself to step out and walk towards the tree house, the place where he brought Mark for his birthday surprise.

Slowly but surely, he started climbing the ropes that lead to the wooden house, and when he finally made it up and opened the door, he felt everything hit him once again.

Everything still looks as how he left it the last time; it was like the place looked frozen — stuck in a time so precious that he badly wants to keep it that way. He could already feel his tears gather in his eyes, but then he willed it away, telling himself that he’s already cried enough.

He focused his attention in scanning the surroundings instead, and when he swept his eyes towards the mini table near the closed window, he noticed something on top of it that he had never seen before.

Curious, the literature major made his way towards the table, and when he was close enough, he could finally make out what it was. 

There was wilted flower on the wooden surface, it was placed on top of a folded paper, which was anchored securely by a pebble in order to not get blown away by the wind.

Jinyoung was hesitant to open the note, but his curiosity prevailed, so he grabbed the note and slowly unfolded it.

He let out a shaky sigh as he started reading the contents.

It was only three sentences, but what made Jinyoung sob lightly is who the note is from.

Mark must’ve placed it there while Jinyoung left to make their breakfast the day after they celebrated the elder’s birthday, and finding out about it now only made it worse for him. He sank down on the wooden floor in agony, burying his face unto his palm as his eyes brimmed with tears.

’Why... why did you have to leave something like this?’ He thought bitterly to himself.

He wasn’t left alone for long however, because few minutes after he felt a hand slowly caressing his shoulder.

“Jinnie?”

Jinyoung jumped up in surprise and quickly wiped his forming tears away. He then looked up to see his mother’s worried gaze directed at him.

“M-Mom? What are you doing up? It’s already late at night...”

His mother gracefully sat beside him, all the while rubbing his back soothingly.

“I heard the door open, I thought someone was trying break in. Then I saw you walk out of the backyard, so I followed you here.”

Jinyoung heaved a shaky breath as he nodded, willing himself to stop the tears from threatening to fall. However, his mother could easily sense his distress, and with her motherly instinct kicking in, she decided to ask her son.

“Are you okay, honey?”

The young man forced a smile, to stop his mother from worrying.

“Y-yeah... It’s nothing. Why don’t you go back to the house, mom? It’s cold out here.”

Instead of letting it go however, his mother only looked at him warmly.

“Jinnie, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

Jinyoung didn’t want her mother to worry for him at all, However, seeing her like this, so soft and reassuring next to him made him uncontrollably spill tears in his eyes.

At the sight of his son’s sudden breakdown, she quickly gathered the younger to her arms, rocking him gently.

“Why does it hurt so much, mommy? My heart feels like it will explode...”

He spoke between sobs, his mother unperturbed as she raked her hands towards his hair.

“It’s okay, baby. Love can do that to you.”

Jinyoung suddenly looked up at his mother in slight surprise, who in return only gave him an meaningful smile.

“I’m your mother. I will always know what’s wrong, even if you don’t say anything at all.”

He didn’t even care to deny it anymore. He cried even harder as her mother hummed a soft lullaby to his ears, providing him the comfort and security he needs.

“Just cry it all out, honey. I’m right here with you. This will pass, and you will get back up once more after this. I believe in you.”

Jinyoung buried his head towards his mother’s shoulders, uncertainty still very much present in his heart.

“But what if doesn’t get better? What if it doesn’t stop?”

His mother squeezed him tightly, giving him the reassurance that he needed.

“You will be okay in the future, Jinnie. Maybe it won’t be now, or tomorrow, or anytime this month, but believe that it will get better someday. Trust me.”

And so, even without saying anything more that night, Jinyoung cried the hardest he’s ever had than the previous months.

December passed by in an instant, and the New Year rolled by in the blink of an eye. Jinyoung felt a little better after that moment with his mother, but he wondered if he would ever be truly okay again in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love making my characters suffer. Does that make me a sadist? XD
> 
> Also, Happy Independence Day to my country, The Philippines! \ ( ^ _ ^ ) /


	20. Chapter 20

Contrary to what Jinyoung thought, things actually got better after the holidays. 

Truthfully speaking, the literature major didn’t have the luxury of time to dwell on his thoughts right after their semester break ended, because their professors thought it would be a great idea to increase the amount of projects that they are required to complete in order to pass the course. With the doubled workload together with his weekly tutoring and part time job at the bookstore, Jinyoung worked his ass off everyday for the following weeks in order to pass all his subjects as well as to keep his jobs.

All these responsibilities made him forget about everything else, and to him, it was what he needed the most. He became a bit livelier, a bit happier with those days of extra tiring work. He could smile a little lighter and laugh a little louder on the days where the lessons were a bit too much and the students were ready to complain about the unnecessary projects they were given.

Those were the moments where the exhaustion is greatly welcomed, and Jinyoung could sleep peacefully without nightmares threatening him.

Today was no exception to the mountains of work that he had to do. The literature major is currently on his last tutoring session for the semester, the small group all hunched together at the library for the final time. 

“Ugh, the semester’s almost over! Thank God!” Sungjae whispered-cheered as he stretched his arms above his head. Joy raised her head from her slumped position from the table, a look of relief plastered on her face.

“Thank God indeed, I don’t think my brain can handle more of these vague poetries anymore. I’m turning into mush.”

Jinyoung smiled empathetically at the two, definitely agreeing to what his students are feeling at the moment.

“I hope what we’ve discussed today can aid you guys on your final exams. Let me know how it goes after, okay?”

Wonpil directed his gaze towards Jinyoung, who is now busy packing up his things in his bag.

“It’s our last session today, right Jinyoung-sshi?”

The literature major nodded at the brunette, who in turn smiled as if a great idea just popped into his head.

“Why don’t we go out and eat all together? It’s like a celebration for the end of the semester, as well as our thank you gift for your help!”

Joy and Sungjae perked up at the mention of food and quickly agreed to the suggestion whilst the other smiled shyly at the offer.

“You guys don’t have to thank me... it’s technically my job to teach you.”

Joy shook her head at that. She then flashed their mentor with a sweet smile.

“Job or not, we really had fun with you throughout this whole ordeal. This is the least we could do for your efforts in helping us with our work.”

Seeing the three people he’s worked with look at him with pleading eyes made Jinyoung's initial reluctance waver. He feels extremely touched that they were thankful for his services that he can’t help but to say yes to their request.

The raven haired man sighed in defeat, smiling fondly at the three.

“Alright, you win. Let’s celebrate today.”

The three cheered and high-fived each other in excitement, causing the librarian to scold them right after. They all decided to celebrate at a famous Hot Pot restaurant near their University, with the three students heading there first because Jinyoung was suddenly summoned at the principal’s office that afternoon.

Wonpil offered to wait for him so that they could go together at the restaurant, but the other kindly refused the offer, as he isn’t sure how long it’s going to take.

Ever since the holiday ended and they saw each other again, the brunette had been bold with his obvious interest to Jinyoung. He has asked the other out for more times than he did before, that sometimes the latter would feel bad for rejecting it everytime. The reason for that is he didn’t want to lead Wonpil on with anything, because the brunette is such a sweet and thoughtful guy that Jinyoung just couldn’t hurt him like that.

As soon as Wonpil left after Jinyoung refused his offer to wait up, the literature major made his way towards the Principal’s office. He has no clue why Professor Namjoon asked for him to go straight ahead to the office, so he’s a little bit anxious if he violated some school code or something.

When he opened the door to the place, he found that he wasn’t alone, for there were a couple of familiar students also looking as lost as he is.

“Ah, Park Jinyoung! So glad you could make it.”

Their University Principal, Park Jinyoung — abbreviated as JYP — greeted the literature major with a beaming smile. The younger Jinyoung bowed his head in respect before heading to an empty seat next to the principal’s table.

JYP clasped his hands together as he scanned the group of students currently present in front of him.

“Now, I’m sure you’re all very confused why you’re here. If you’re worried about any violations, don’t be. You’re not here for that reason.”

A collective breath of relief were suddenly heard around the room, obvious that all of them had thought of the same thing. JYP only chuckled in amusement before continuing his briefing. 

“What you’re here for is something much more important than that. I don’t know if you all recognize each other, but you are the students that brought pride and achievement within our school.”

It suddenly clicked to Jinyoung as to why some of the students looked familiar to him. Some of the other students' faces were plastered in the newspaper that the younger may have stumbled upon before.

“You’ve brought a significant contribution to our community, and a very important person is here to personally congratulate you all and give you gifts.”

With the mention of a present, the room instantly buzzed with excitement. It’s something that they didn’t really expect to have, but certainly much appreciated for their stressed out minds. Jinyoung resonates with that anticipation as well, wondering what kind of gifts will they each receive. 

A knock on the door was heard, and all of a sudden JYP stood up, urging the students to do the same.

“He’s here! Everyone, give him respect!”

The energy within the room increased tenfold, and Jinyoung briefly wondered how important this guest is that made even JYP, a respectable man bow down without question.

When the door opened after the principal called them in, the younger expected that the important person would be the old and wrinkly mayor of Seoul, or some wealthy business person who invested in the University. However, his presumption was far from who he’s seeing at the moment.

Instead of an old figure or a scary individual, a young and dashing man is walking confidently inside the room.

  
The man that Jinyoung never expected to see in front of him again. 

It was the one and only owner of Seoul University, Mark Tuan.

“Welcome to our University, Mr. Tuan!”

It was like Jinyoung’s body suddenly went on autopilot as he followed everyone’s action of bowing to the guest. He kept his head down even after the courtesy, suddenly unable to concentrate on what was happening to his surroundings.

His mind kept denying the reality that Mark is here, and they’re in the same room again after months of not seeing each other.

Jinyoung wanted to run out of the door and never turn back, but at the same time he wanted dash into the elder’s embrace and tell the other how miserable he’s been all this time. The literature major was dying to look up in order to see that beautiful face up close, but he’s scared that if he met those warm orbs again, he won’t be able to control his raging feelings and cause a scene in front of everyone. 

“.... _young! Park Jinyoung_!”

Jinyoung instinctively raised his head at the sudden mention of his name. He was so distracted with his inner turmoil that when he got back to his senses, he found Mark already standing in front of him.

With the sudden proximity, the literature major stumbled backward in surprise. However, his behind didn’t get to meet with the carpeted floor, because the elder's hands were on him in an instant, gripping him with such strength that it felt like the younger is suspended in air.

It was at that moment that Jinyoung met Mark’s eyes again for the first time in five months.

“... are you alright?”

Hearing that deep voice again sent shivers to Jinyoung’s spine. He let out a shaky breath as he dropped his head down once more and nodded hesitatingly, fearing that his own voice would give away how much that single touch affected him.

Mark was reluctant to let him go, but he eventually had to in order prevent raising suspicion.

“Um... lastly sir, this is student Park Jinyoung from the literature course. He won the annual Inter-school writing competition last September with his entry. His novel is very well known throughout Seoul right now.”

The literature major could hear the hint of pride laced in the principal’s voice. However, no matter how Jinyoung wanted to reflect that with the same vigor, he couldn’t bring himself to fake the storm brewing in his heart.

“Yes, I know him.”

Jinyoung suddenly froze on his spot, he slowly raised his head in order to look at the elder in disbelief.

His heart started thumping rapidly, and he felt his stomach churn.

Whether it’s because butterflies or painful thorns, he doesn’t know.

_Will he say it?_

“... we met when he was still a freshman. He pulled me to do an impromptu rap prod on stage. I wasn’t prepared to be completely honest, but it was fun nonetheless.”

Disappointment suddenly surged into Jinyoung after hearing that.

_Of course he wouldn’t say anything._

The literature major let out a bitter laugh under his breath. Mark must’ve noticed it, with how he quickly looked towards the younger’s direction.

Jinyoung decided to look down on the floor once again in order to conceal the hurt he felt because of the elder’s words. Not long after, a familiar hand made it’s way to the younger’s line of vision.

“...Nice to meet you again, Jinyoung-sshi. Congratulations on your novel. It was... definitely something.”

The younger paused as he stared at the outstretched hand. He suddenly felt horrible, like a sinkhole just appeared in his stomach as he heard the elder’s words. 

Mark read his story. 

_He knows._

The literature major couldn’t prevent the way his hands trembled when he raised it up to meet the elder’s waiting hand. When their palms touched, that surge of electricity made Jinyoung flinch away instantly.

“T-thank you... sir.”

The younger heard a shaky sigh coming from the elder and felt him move away after noticing him jump.

Jinyoung had to fight the urge to pull Mark close to him after that.

JYP remained oblivious, as he clasped his hands together in order to get everyone’s attention. 

“Now that everyone’s been introduced, we should move to the next agenda. This time...”

The principal’s words sounded so distant in Jinyoung’s ears, the mention of the ‘gift’ long forgotten in his mind.

How could he pay attention, when all his focus instantly shifts into that person standing right in front of him?

Mark still looked beautiful as ever, and his charisma and presence still draws Jinyoung in even though he’s only standing there doing nothing. It’s heartbreaking to think that this enigmatic man is now a stranger, and what’s left of them is nothing but tainted memories.

The pain in his heart increased tenfold, and he mentally berated himself when he felt tears well up in his eyes. 

He can’t cry here, he can’t let Mark see how much Jinyoung’s affected by his presence.

Thankfully, the God’s heard his silent plea, because as soon as he heard the principal utter that they were allowed to leave, he was out of that door in an instant. 

Jinyoung ran like a madman, blindly stampeding into the campus without any destination in mind. When his legs finally gave out on him, he planted unceremoniously on the ground, his body suddenly drained of energy. As the literature major struggled to catch his breath, he clutched his chest desperately in order to soothe the ache that flows into him like waves.

He thought he was okay. He thought that by drowning himself with work and school would bring him to finally forget everything about Mark, but he was only fooling himself.

It only took that one single meeting for him to realize that Mark still has his entire heart, and that his presence still affects every fiber of his being. 

He must’ve been sitting there on the pavement for a long time without knowing, because when he looked up at the sound of his name, he found Wonpil standing in front him.

“Jinyoung! Are you okay? Why are you sitting here on the pavement?”

The brunette crouched down in front of him, his eyes swimming in pure concern to the other.

“Wonpil-sshi...”

The other murmured. Wonpil’s brows furrowed in worry, his hands hovering to the raven haired man. He wanted to check for any injuries that might be present, but he was hesitant on touching the other without permission.

“Are you hurt anywhere? Did something happen? Can you stand?”

Jinyoung shook his head, indicating that he was alright. He was a little wobbly when he got up to his feet due to the numbness his legs, but he was able to stand on his own without any problems.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want to go to a hospital?”

Wonpil looked deathly worried for him that it made the other a little guilty. The literature major flashed him a reassuring smile, in order to ease the man’s concern even just a little.

“I’m fine, Wonpil-sshi. What were you doing here anyways?”

The brunette looked unconvinced with the sudden diversion, but he didn’t want to push Jinyoung when he was clearly avoiding the topic to be respectful. So, Wonpil decided to answer the question instead.

“Well... you were talking a while to arrive at the restaurant, so I volunteered to come find you. I was about to head to the principal’s office, but then I saw you here, sitting down on the concrete that I thought you got hurt.”

Jinyoung instantly remembered the farewell party he was supposed to go to. He suddenly felt guilty thinking about it, because really he didn’t have the energy to attend any longer.

Wonpil must’ve noticed his reluctance as well, as he reassured the literature major that it was okay.

“I’m sure they won’t mind if you can’t come. We were already eating by the time I left, so they’re probably done by now, anyways.”

The other can only sigh in regret.

“I’m sorry.”

Wonpil smiled comfortingly.

“No need. Are you tired? Do you want me to walk you home?”

Jinyoung instantly rejected the idea of going back to a quiet place where his mind could wander back to the recent events that transpired. He shook his head aggressively, shutting down the thought quickly.

“Okay... well, where do you want to go?”

The literature major wants somewhere busy. He wants a place where he could hear people talking to each other in order to tone down his own thoughts.

He wants a distraction from the inner voices speaking to him.

Jinyoung landed his gaze on the man in front of him, who is waiting to hear his answer.

“Wonpil-sshi... does your offer for coffee still stand?”

——

The duo found themselves heading towards the entrance to offshore fifteen minutes later. 

As soon as Jinyoung walked inside the cozy cafe, he quickly scanned the area for Jaebeom, who in turn, was busy taking orders from costumers.

“What would you like, Jinyoung?” Wonpil asked, his face beaming with unbridled happiness.

“Americano is good.”

Jinyoung walked towards his usual seat next to the window as Wonpil volunteered to place their orders. He felt a bit calmer than earlier, but that face still haunted his mind like a ghost.

He attempted to distract himself with silently watching the people walk around outside the streets, but that only proved to be a failure, because even in the midst of those strangers, he could still see Mark’s features clear as day. 

The sound of a chair scraping on the floor minutes after pulled him out of his thoughts. When he looked towards the direction of the noise, he realized that it was Wonpil taking the seat in front of him.

“I already texted Joy and Sungjae that you got caught up with something, and they said it was fine. They said that there’s always a next time.”

Jinyoung flashed him an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry you had to do that. I feel bad that you’re here stuck with me, while you’re supposed to be out there having fun with those two.”

Wonpil shook his head in disagreement.

“No! It’s totally fine. I don’t mind being stuck here with you. I’m actually really happy that you decided to get coffee with me today.”

Jaebeom slowly approached them with their drinks in hand a couple of minutes after, the elder’s posture professional, but his eyes full of silent questions. 

“One americano, and one cafe latte.”

Wonpil muttered a quick thank you at the owner, unaware of the brief eye contact that passed by between the two friends.

“Jinyoung, I can’t help but ask... what were you doing out there on the sidewalk? What happened?”

The other sipped his americano nervously as Wonpil pierced him with his questioning gaze.

Just thinking about Mark made his heart clench even tighter. 

“I’m sorry Wonpil-sshi... but it’s something that I’m not comfortable to talk about. I hope you understand.”

With that, the brunette didn’t push any further. He nodded in towards Jinyoung, his face filled with understanding.

“I see. It’s okay, I understand if you’re not ready to talk about it, but I’m right here to listen okay? I’ll be here anytime.”

Jinyoung smiled at him gratefully.

“Thank you. I’m sorry if I made you worry.”

Wonpil shook his head at that.

“Don’t be sorry. If anything else, what happened earlier only reinforced what I already know.”

“Hm? What is it?”

Jinyoung stared as Wonpil took a few deep breaths, as if steeling himself on what he was about to say next. The literature major suddenly felt anxious, even more so when the brunette stared at him with fiery determination.

“When I first heard that I was taking up a tutoring session because I was failing my class, I didn’t take it well at all. I was ready to flunk it all together, but when you showed up and started explaining concepts like it was easiest thing in the world. It was the first time that I felt like I had a fighting chance at the course I chose to take as my career.“

Jinyoung stayed silent, and Wonpil took that as a sign to go on.

“I was the slowest out of us three of your students when it comes to analyzing characters, but you never gave up on me. You were patient enough to answer all of my questions. You encouraged me when I felt so frustrated and wanted to quit. You were there when I flunked an exam, and you were also there when I passed the next one with flying colors.”

“You’ve seen me struggle, seen me succeed. You were there through it all. At first I thought that my feelings for you were only because of admiration, but I quickly realized that it wasn’t the case at all. You’re smart, witty, funny, and beautiful, inside and out.”

Wonpil slowly reached towards Jinyoung’s hand, and enclosed it securely on his own.

“You’re incredible, and... I... I like you, Park Jinyoung. I like you a lot, and if you could give me chance, I want to show you how much I care about you.”

Jinyoung sat there dumbfounded, unable to form coherent words about the sudden turns of events. He didn’t know how to respond to the confession, especially when it’s someone he considers a good friend. Wonpil is an amazing person who deserves the world. He’s gorgeous, not to mention very sweet and very caring, the makings of a great boyfriend material that anyone would be lucky to have his attention.

Somehow, Jinyoung briefly wondered what it would be like if he accepted this beautiful man’s confession. He would get live a normal life for sure. Wonpil would probably showcase his gentleman side and treasure Jinyoung everyday. The literature major would probably receive surprises every now and then, as well as wake up to breakfast without leaving his bed. The brunette would probably shower him with love and affection, much more than what he deserves.

Wonpil can do all that and more, yet, the real question is, could Jinyoung do the same for him?

He may get the normalcy that he desires, but will he be happy?

Will he be truly, and unabashedly happy if he ever decides to say yes?

Jinyoung stared at their hands still intertwined together on top of the coffee table. The touch feels so foreign, like Wonpil’s hand doesn’t belong there at all. It’s harsh to think, but the other feels nothing but emptiness around it. He doesn’t feel that surge of electricity between them, unlike what happened earlier with...

He knew his answer right away.

“Wonpil-sshi... you’re an amazing person too, but...”

The literature major slowly removed his hand from the brunette’s grip.

“I’m in love with someone else.”

Wonpil tried to hide his heartbroken gaze, his head suddenly hanging low.

“I’m sorry.”

Silence covered their table for a while. The literature major honestly thought that Wonpil was going to get up and walk away without hesitation, but he was surprised when the brunette bombarded him with questions.

“Are you together?”

“N-no...” 

“Does he know about your feelings?”

“No...”

“Does he love you back?”

“What does that have to do with—“

“Just answer my question, please.”

Jinyoung sighed in resignation.

“I don’t know.”

The brunette then grabbed Jinyoung’s hand and gathered it close, his eyes pleading at the latter to reconsider. 

“If he doesn’t know... then give me a chance, Jinyoung! I’m sure I can do better than him! Whatever he does, I promise I’ll do better!”

Jinyoung smiled apologetically, his heart breaking at the sight of his friend asking earnestly.

“I believe you when you say that you want to do better. But... there’s no use doing all that, not when my heart still belongs to him.”

With that finality, Wonpil gradually let go of Jinyoung’s hand, visibly deflating in his seat. No one spoke for a while and for that brief moment, Jinyoung slowly realized what he said.

He had kept it bottled up for so long that when he finally admitted it out loud, it was like he was set free from the invisible chains holding him down. 

There’s no use denying it. He’s not completely over Mark Tuan, and he never will be.

“You really love him that much, huh?”

Jinyoung nodded at the brunette’s question.

“I do.”

Wonpil closed his eyes and sighed in resignation, recognizing that this is a battle he had no way of winning. 

“I can’t force you to do anything, then.”

The raven haired man flashed him a genuine smile.

“You’ll find someone who’ll love you back without question. Believe it.”

“I hope so.”

The brunette stood up from his seat and gazed at Jinyoung one last time, his eyes shining with both admiration and painful longing.

“Whoever he is, he’s lucky to have you. I hope he knows that, at least.”

Jinyoung felt that familiar ache hit his chest, the brunette’s words slicing his heart to shreds.

“I’ll see you around, Wonpil-sshi.”

Wonpil nodded and slowly went out of the cafe, leaving Jinyoung to wallow dejectedly in his seat. He brushed his hand through his locks and buried his face unto his palms, feeling his energy slowly drain out from his body. It’s crazy to think, that even after all those months of not seeing Mark and talking to him, he’s still the one that occupies Jinyoung’s heart and mind.

The literature major sat there pitifully as he drowned on his own thoughts. Not long after, he felt a hand caress his back soothingly, and when he looked up, he saw Jaebeom’s warm orbs watching him. 

“You okay?”

Jinyoung sighed shakily and grabbed his now cold coffee, holding it close to his chest.

“No.”

Jaebeom sat down next to the younger, his hand still connected to Jinyoung’s back as he rubbed it comfortingly.

“You want to talk about what happened?”

Jinyoung directed his attention towards the people outside, his thoughts drifting back to the conversation that transpired earlier.

“Wonpil confessed to me, and I rejected him.”

Jaebeom nodded in understanding. He had an inkling about what was happening, as he was silently observed their table from a distance.

“I told him that I can’t return his feelings because... my heart is with someone else.”

The comforting touch in his back suddenly stopped after his revelation, making Jinyoung instantly regret ever saying that to his best friend.

“...Is it still Mark?”

Jinyoung bit his lip and dropped his head down at the question. He should’ve known better than to bring that topic up. He knew that Jaebeom’s still hurting about what happened even if he doesn’t show it, yet Jinyoung’s selfishness decided to dig those wounds up.

The younger kept his head down, unable to look at his best friend in the eye due to guilt. However, Jaebeom grabbed his chin and slowly lifted it up, urging the younger to look back.

When he met Jaebeom’s eyes, it’s as if the elder knew exactly what was going through his mind. The cafe owner brushed his hand towards Jinyoung’s cheek, the touch delicate and full of understanding.

“Nyoung, you don’t have to tiptoe around me. I’m your bestfriend; your feelings will always matter to me regardless of whatever happened. You have nothing to be guilty about. Okay?”

With that, Jinyoung nodded in reply, tears forming down his eyes. Jaebeom is on him in an instant, the elder’s hug comforting his shaky sobs. He could always count on the elder to make him feel better even if sometimes he feels that he don’t deserve it.

“I met him at school earlier, Beom. I had always wondered how I would react if I ever see him again. I thought that I’d be fine because it’s been so long, but I was so wrong. Seeing him again changed nothing. My feelings are still here, hyung. It’s still here, and it hurts, because I’m still so damn in love with him after all this time.”

Jinyoung poured his feelings out as he laid there in his friend’s embrace. He felt like he didn’t deserve to say those words especially to Jaebeom who had it worse, but he was the only person who wouldn’t judge him and invalidate his feelings. 

“It’s okay, nyoung. It’s okay.”

They stayed cuddled like that for a while, and when Jinyoung finally calmed down and pulled back from the hug he suddenly felt like a wreck. He figured he looked like one too, because he saw some pitiful stares that some costumers sent his way after coming back to his senses.

“I’m sorry.”

Jaebeom shook his head in disagreement. He examined the state of his friend first before ultimately deciding to groom the younger’s hair into place.

“Don’t be. If anything else, it should be me who’s sorry.”

Jinyoung stared at the elder in confusion.

“Why would you be sorry? You haven’t done anything at all.”

Jaebeom eye’s flickered with emotions as he stared at Jinyoung. He contemplated on speaking for a while before finally deciding to go for it.

“There’s something I haven’t told you.”

The younger tilted his head in question.

“What is it?”

Jaebeom sighed and stared at Jinyoung’s waiting gaze.

“... Few weeks ago, I met Jackson at an underground rap battle. We talked.”

Jinyoung tensed up at that, shock evident on his features. It’s the first time in a long time that he’s heard anything about Jackson. 

“W-what did you talk about?”

Jaebeom took a sip in the younger’s coffee, his eyes distant as he recalled his conversation with the now black haired male.

“He asked how I — we, were doing. He also wanted to apologize.”

When Jaebeom decided to accept an invitation to participate in a rap battle, he knew that there was a high chance that Jackson was going to be there as well. When the younger did show up hours after the elder did, Jaebeom made it his mission to avoid him the rest of the night. However, much to his chagrin, it was Jackson who approached him first. The interaction didn’t go well from the beginning, as Jaebeom’s dormant anger suddenly bursting hat caused him to punch the other as soon as he approached.

It took the elder minutes to calm down from his blind fury, and when he came to and realized Jackson didn’t go away (and didn’t even fight back), he eventually asked the younger what he wanted. 

“He was sorry about everything that happened. He said that it was never his intention to put us in danger, and that guilt continued to eat him alive because he had to leave us in that state.”

“... What did you say?”

Jaebeom gave a small smile.

“I wanted to walk away from him Nyoung. I didn’t want to see him again, nor listen to anything that he had to say when he hid such a big secret as that. Then, I realized that he wasn’t the only one who did just that. Youngjae did, too. So I asked myself, _‘If Youngjae was here, would I listen to his explanation? Would I offer him a second chance?’_ My answer was a definite yes. So, I thought, if I could give my love that chance, why shouldn’t I do the same to Jackson? He’s always been such a great friend to me. I’m glad I did that, because I realized a lot of things when he started explaining.“

Jackson told him all about Youngjae’s history, of how much of a chained victim he is with his family name as much as Mark is a prisoner of his own bloodline. The younger thoroughly explained how each of the families work, and how much cruelty the two men had to face their entire lives, just to please the people who had no ounce of thought whether they were happy or not.

“They had no control over how they started, but it was in their hands on how they wanted it to end. Youngjae didn’t get to pick who he was born into, and Jackson had no way of knowing that he was going to end up joining a mafia organization. None of them knew what was going to happen, yet they chose what they think was right. They didn’t let their situations affect their decisions, and that’s how we are alive today.”

Jinyoung watched as the elder shared his thoughts and feelings in full detail, his expression calm and his voice serene. 

“Youngjae lived a life we would never understand, but I will always know him as someone who laughs like he has a built in speaker on his throat, and a smile so bright that the sun would never be equal to him.“

Jaebeom directed his gaze to the younger and flashed him a beautiful smile. 

“I’ve made my peace with the fact the he’s never coming back, Nyoung. I know it’s too early to say that given it’s only been a few months after, but that conversation with Jackson made me realize that bearing hatred will only result to more hatred. I can’t do that anymore, not when everything that’s happened is because of hatred in the first place.”

The elder then clasped his hands around Jinyoung, who is more than eager to connect them together.

“I’ve made my peace, but I won’t deny that it still hurts everyday knowing I’ll never get to see him, hug him, and tell him how much I love him again. However, you still have a chance to do all that. Seeing you miserable like this breaks my heart, nyoung. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. I decided to tell you all of this because it’s about time you move forward and be happy, and I know you will only be able to do that when you’re with him.”

Jinyoung gripped his bestfriend’s hand tightly, his heart beating fast with what the elder is trying to say to him.

“But, Jaebeom... you—”

Jaebeom shook his head repeatedly, dismissing the younger’s thoughts.

“Don’t think about what I would feel at this matter. I’ll be okay. You don’t have to force yourself into anything. You can think about it for as long as necessary. It’s your decision to make, but all I can tell you is that from what Jackson told me, Mark has never left your side, not even once.”

——

It’s not until 2 weeks after the emotional talk that Jinyoung finally realized what Jaebeom was talking about. 

He was busy rummaging through the storage of their bookstore for some old documents, when he stumbled upon a ‘For Sale’ sign. Curious, he brought it out and showed it to Seongwoo, who was busy stacking up their new batch of books ready for purchase.

“Woo-yah, what’s this?”

Seongwoo’s gaze landed from Jinyoung and down to the sign he was holding. His eyes widened slightly and he stopped what he was doing.

“Oh! I completely forgot about that!”

Seongwoo quickly snatched the sign away from Jinyoung’s hands and chuckled nervously.

“It’s just an old sign board, hyung. Nothing to worry about!”

Judging by the way his dongsaeng’s strange acting, Jinyoung was not fully convinced with his words. The literature major crossed his arms in front of his chest and leveled a stern gaze towards the younger.

“Seeing as how you’re fidgeting right now, that sign is not nothing. What are you hiding?”

Seongwoo tried squirming his way out of the elder’s intimidating gaze, but when Jinyoung held him down by the shoulders to trap him in place, the younger decided to finally tell the truth.

“Well... this bookstore isn’t owned by Uncle Jaesook anymore. It’s already sold under a company.”

Jinyoung’s brows raised in surprise. He seriously did not expect that.

“What? When did this happen?”

Seongwoo scratched the back of his head nervously.

“Erm.. it happened while you were confined at the hospital. Uncle Jaesook needed fast money for his trip to Europe, because his family is planning for him to migrate over there. He couldn’t take care of the bookstore anymore, so he decided to sell the land away.”

Jinyoung knew about Uncle Jaesook’s plan in moving to Europe, but he didn’t expect that the elder would sell this land so quickly in order to do that. Thinking about losing the bookstore bought a pang of pain in Jinyoung’s heart. There had been various companies who offered millions in order to buy this particular land for a long time now, mainly because this is a perfect spot to build a modern establishment that rich people could go to. It was bound to happen sooner or later, but there was one thing that confuses the heck out of Jinyoung.

If Uncle Jaesook finally sold this land to a big company, then why is the bookstore still standing?

When he expressed this inquiry to Seongwoo, the younger on shrugged in reply.

“I’m also curious out about that, hyung. Truthfully speaking, there was another company who first offered to buy the land before this one. They planned to make the bookstore into an apartment complex, so they offered big money to Uncle Jaesook in exchange. Uncle didn’t even think twice about agreeing and they decided to sign the contract the next day. We thought that was that, but then few minutes after the first guy left, there was another man who came in and offered to buy the place at a much higher price. He said that he’ll only buy the land, and that he had no intention on tearing the bookstore down. Uncle Jaesook was so mesmerized by that guy’s offer that when he brought the contracts out, Uncle signed it right away.”

Jinyoung’s interest was piqued at that strange man’s offer. What kind of a company would do something like that?

“Did he say why he wanted to keep the bookstore?” The elder asked out of curiosity. 

“Ummm... I think he mentioned about how the bookstore was special to his...Boss? Yeah, that’s it. The guy said that this place is very important to the person that his Boss loves the most, so he wanted to protect it from anyone who desired to tear it down.“

Jinyoung didn’t know why, but his heart started racing all of a sudden. His breath hitched in his throat, and his hands started shaking on its own.

_No, it’s impossible._

The elder willed himself to calm down. There was no way that it was the person who he thinks that did it... _right?_

He wouldn’t get anywhere just by thinking to himself. So, he decided to ask for further details.

“T-the guy that went here... do you remember what he looked like? What’s his name?”

Seongwoo contemplated for a moment, blissfully unaware about how much Jinyoung anticipated his answer. The younger furrowed his eyebrows in concentration in order to recall details accurately.

“Well... he was tall, and very fashionable. He was skinny, like chopstick thin, and he had a silver hair as well. I don’t remember his name... but when I first heard it, I thought it was weird. I think he mentioned that it came from a cartoon?... What was it? Bimbi? Bambi?”

“Bambam.” 

Jinyoung quietly whispered.

That confirms it.

“That’s right! Bambam! Oh, I remembered that he left a card here somewhere...” 

Seongwoo walked by to their register in order to retrieve a small calling card on the drawer. When the younger gave the item to Jinyoung, the elder had to stop himself from dropping straight down to the floor and cry after reading what was written on it.

**‘Yang enterprises’**   
**Mark Tuan**

Seongwoo must have noticed the change in Jinyoung’s expression, so he asked the elder out of concern.

“Hyung? Are you okay?”

Jinyoung slowly nodded, his eyes still glued to the paper trapped between his fingers.

“Why... didn’t you tell me about this?”

The younger replied hesitantly.

“Well... after the contract signing, Bambam-sshi asked me not to tell you about it. I don’t know why though... I was actually going to throw the sign board away, but I eventually forgot because of school. I just remembered when you found it, and well... Did I made a mistake?”

Jinyoung shook his head in order to reassure the younger that he didn’t do anything wrong. 

Their conversation was cut short when their doorbell rang. When they looked to check who it was, they saw the same man who was delivering flowers every week.

“Good afternoon. Here’s a new batch of flowers for your shop.”

Seeing the bouquet of flowers made something click in Jinyoung’s brain.

The mystery person, there's no doubt about it.

It was Mark.

Somehow, everything made sense to him. For days, Jaebeom’s final words stuck to him like glue, and Jinyoung had been pushing and pulling with himself on what to do about his feelings. He had been incredibly reluctant to act upon it because he was scared that he might get hurt again. However, seeing this and realizing that Mark had been quietly taking care of him after all this time changed everything.

Now, instead of being lost and confused, he felt like he finally knew what he had to do.

Jinyoung looked up at Seongwoo, his eyes blazing with newfound purpose.

“Woo-yah, can I ask you a favor? I have to go and take care of something today. Can you handle everything here on your own for now?”

Although a bit confused with the request, Seongwoo agreed to take care of the bookstore the entire day. After hearing that, Jinyoung immediately took off, a sense of urgency thrumming through his vein.

He wanted to go directly to Mark right away, but he had to fix something first beforehand. 

Jinyoung found himself walking towards the dance studio inside the University. The literature major had asked for directions around the premises, and with enough information he immediately made his way towards it. He was told that the person he was looking for was inside practicing at the moment, so he hopes he isn’t too late in catching the younger.

Jinyoung could already hear the continuous beat of the music accompanied by strong sounds of shoes squeaking the floor as he inched closer to the room he was looking for. He calmed his heart for a while and slowly opened the door to go inside.

Yugyeom was too busy with his intense dancing that he didn’t notice Jinyoung’s presence right away, so the elder watched quietly as the younger danced like it was his last time doing so. He looked so regal and effortless; it was clear that the younger was in his element.

A surge of sadness and longing suddenly crept inside Jinyoung; he had missed his dongsaeng’s bubbly behavior so much.

Yugyeom must have finally felt someone watching him, as he slowed down his moves to see who it was. When he looked towards Jinyoung’s direction, that’s when he stopped in his tracks completely.

“J-Jinyoung hyung?”

Yugyeom was still shell shocked at the presence of the elder that he didn’t realize how the music already stopped. Jinyoung decided to move closer to the younger, and when he was finally standing in front of him, the elder gave him a sweet smile.

“Hey, gyeom-ah.”

Yugyeom couldn’t utter a word, but his eyes already showed a lot of emotion as he stared at his hyung. Unable to hide the longing any longer, Jinyoung reached forward and grabbed the younger into a tight hug.

The younger responded with a bruising hug of his own, sobs started forming in his throat as he enclosed himself in Jinyoung’s arms.

“H-hyung... I’m so sorry... I’m so sorry...”

The younger cried hard while apologizing, and Jinyoung sobbed as well, their repressed feelings suddenly pouring out like a dam.

“No Yugy... I’m the one who should be sorry... I didn’t let you explain and I just threw you away like that. Can you forgive me? Can you forgive your foolish hyung?”

Yugyeom nodded vigorously on Jinyoung’s neck, and Jinyoung had to soothe him as he was crying heavily. It was then that he realized that Yugyeom had gone through with the same trauma as much as Jinyoung did, because Youngjae was his friend, too.

When they finally calmed down, Jinyoung fondly wiped away all of Yugyeom’s tears and sweat, happy to be finally here with his sweet dongsaeng.

“I’ve realized a lot of things these past few weeks, and I’ll be better now. I won’t do that to you again, okay? I won’t leave you again.”

Yugyeom sniffed as he gave a tired but warm smile to Jinyoung.

“And I won’t hide anything from you or Jaebeom hyung. I promise.”

Jinyoung nodded fondly, the feeling of reconciliation sweet to their bones.

The elder had finally made peace with Yugyeom, and there’s only one more thing left for him to do.

“Yugy?”

“Yes, hyung?”

Jinyoung stared at Yugyeom filled with determination.

“I know this is a sudden request, but can you take me to where Mark is?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost at the end. One more chapter before the epilogue :)


	21. Chapter 21

The day could not go by any slower for Mark. 

He had been sitting in his office chair the entire duration of the morning as well as in the afternoon, and he isn’t even halfway done with the papers that he needed to scan through for final approval. 

The CEO rubbed his temples soothingly, and in order to release some stress, he grabbed his glass full of rum on the side then proceeded to drink it all in one go. He could already picture Bambam’s disapproving gaze at his side with his actions, so he isn’t even surprised when the young bodyguard spoke up about it.

“Hyung, that’s your second bottle already. The day isn’t even finished yet.”

Mark paid no mind to the thai’s concern, as he poured the remains of the rum in his empty glass.

“I’m stressed, Bam. I need to drink.”

“You’ve been drinking for six months straight, hyung. I understand why, but you’ve been worse these past two weeks. It’s too much already.”

The CEO let out a sigh as he took the glass and sipped the contents into his mouth. He's tired, cranky, and a little irritated from staring at papers the entire day, so he really needed the younger to let him be at the moment.

“Leave it, Bam.”

Of course Bambam being Bambam, just can't stand by at the side and watch his beloved hyung destroy his life even more than it already is. 

“No. You’ve been like that ever since you returned from your meeting at the University. Something must’ve happened, and you’re not telling me anything about it.”

Mark shut his eyes tightly as the recalled what happened two weeks ago. Whenever he visits Seoul University for a quick quality check, he would always make sure to be careful in order not to be spotted by Jinyoung. The elder would always reason to himself that it’s only because he wanted to avoid any more danger for the younger, but deep down, he was just scared of how the other would react to seeing him again. Time have passed between them, and with that long gap things are bound to change.

Mark didn’t want to face the reality that they would never be anything anymore, hence the reason for his discreet visits. However, he should’ve known better that when JYP requested for his presence in order to acknowledge the University’s top students, Jinyoung would be one of them. 

It was definitely a surprise when he walked in to the room and saw the younger standing there, but Mark would never complain. Not when seeing him again made him realize how he’s still very much in love with the younger. 

It took a lot of control on Mark’s end to not rush to Jinyoung and wrap his arms around the younger since he didn’t want to cause a scene, but there’s no denying that his attention shifted to the literature major more than once. He still looked so beautiful, so magnetic with only his presence that Mark had trouble listening to JYP’s speech. However, as much as the elder was dying to talk to him, it didn’t escape him how Jinyoung averted his gaze from him the entire time. The elder won’t deny that it hurt a lot seeing that, but what was worse was when the younger man ran as soon as they were allowed to leave the room, seemingly eager to get out of there as soon as possible. Mark wanted to follow him right then and there, but then he had to wait until JYP was done in order to do so. He didn’t even know what to say to Jinyoung, all he knew was that he had to talk to him, even if it’s just to ask how he was doing.

The elder hoped he would get that chance, but what he didn’t expect however was catching up to Jinyoung, but finding another man talk to him so lovingly.

The sight of them made his stomach drop down to the ground, and it didn’t help that when he decided to follow them all the way to the cafe, he saw the man hold Jinyoung’s hand, and the latter didn’t pull away at all. 

That was the reality that he didn’t want to face — seeing Jinyoung love someone that wasn’t him. 

Mark drank more than he ever did that night, and from that point he drowned himself in alcohol, hoping that he wouldn’t be sober enough to remember how Jinyoung looked that day.

The CEO sighed once again, his mood going downhill at the thought of the raven haired man.

“There’s nothing to tell, Bam.”

The thai clicked his tongue in annoyance, clearly unconvinced with his hyung’s words. 

“You’re about to get alcohol poisoning with how much you’re consuming.”

“If I die from drinking, then let it be. There’s not much to live for, anyway.”

It was then that Bambam heard enough. The younger stomped his feet and stood in front of the elder, his expression filled with anger and disappointment.

“How can you say that so nonchalantly, hyung? I get that you’re still hurting because of Jinyoung hyung, but what about us? Yugyeom? Jackson hyung? Don’t you care about us, anymore? Are you really going to let yourself be destroyed like this and leave us all behind?”

Mark stared at the younger’s heart broken expression, guilt suddenly rising in him. He didn’t mean to say his thoughts out loud, but the amount of alcohol he consumed definitely loosened some of his control. He was about to tell the younger otherwise when their conversation was cut short with the elder’s telephone buzzing all of a sudden. The two looked at each other for a brief moment before Mark answered the call.

“Yes?”

There was a short pause before the voice of Mark’s secretary filled the room.

“Sir, your brother is here.”

Mark inwardly sighed and Bambam backed away from his aggressive stance in order to stand next to the elder again. The tension is still present between them, but there was no other choice but to let the topic die down for now.

“Send him in.”

Not long after, the door to his office opened, revealing a puffy faced, but a happy looking Yugyeom.

“Hyung.”

The initial reaction after seeing Yugyeom’s face was to be alarmed, so Mark abruptly stood up from his chair and marched towards his dongsaeng.

“Yugyeom! What happened to you? Why do you look like you’ve been crying?”

The elder hastily examined his younger brother’s body for any signs of injury or trauma. Bambam looked concerned as well, and they briefly wondered if someone from their enemies targeted the dance major while he was at school.

Much to their relief, Yugyeom shook his head and smiled reassuringly.

“Nothing bad happened, hyung. I cried because I’m very happy right now, and I’m here because I want you to feel the same.”

Mark stared at him quizzically.

“What do you mean?”

Yugyeom smiled for a moment, then turned his attention back to the door where he came from.

“You can come in now.”

Mark had no idea who the younger was talking to, that was, until he saw Jinyoung slowly step in from the other side, looking as beautiful as he had last seen him.

“J-Jinyoung...?”

It was as if his breath got knocked right out of him. Mark is just standing there frozen, and Jinyoung looked no better. They were stuck in a trance, their eyes only directed upon each other that they hadn’t realized that the two younger ones had slowly left the room to give them privacy. It was only after the doors closed behind them that they managed to get out of their reverie.

It was Mark who spoke first.

“Wh-what are you doing here?”

Jinyoung’s heavy laden gaze remained directed at Mark.

“I want to talk to you.”

Mark gulped, his heart thrumming nervously in his chest.

“About what?”

The literature major stared at him unwaveringly, his magnetic orbs filled with burning fire. Mark still couldn’t believe he was standing there, but what the younger said next shocked him tremendously.

“I’m still in love with you, Mark.”

The elder’s eyes widened like saucers, his heart beating erratically in his chest. 

“W-what?”

“You heard right. I’m still in love with you, and I’m here to ask you if there’s still a chance that we could be together again.”

The elder stood there agape, dumbfounded by Jinyoung’s thundering statement. For days on end, his mind had always thought back to the man in front of him, wondering to himself if the younger had already moved on with his life. Mark would never hold it against him if he decided to do so, because the elder’s priority will always be Jinyoung’s happiness, and he would support it wherever it comes from, even if it’s not him who’s providing it. So, even though he felt tremendous agony when he saw the younger hold another man’s hand that day, he knew that he couldn’t do anything but to accept it. 

He knew that would never feel Jinyoung’s presence in his arms again, so he silently prayed to the Gods that whoever that man is, may he take care and love Jinyoung unconditionally, just as how he deserved to be treated. 

However, life has always been great at giving him the unexpected. 

Never in a million years would Mark think that the only man he loved would stand in front of him, telling him the things he thought he would never hear again.

“Jinyoung... I don’t... I don’t understand.”

The younger frowned at that, obviously expecting a different reaction from the elder.

“What do you mean?”

“A-Aren’t you with someone else now?”

“Wait... _WHAT_?”

Now, it was Jinyoung’s turn to be surprised. He had never been with anyone else ever since they broke up, so what made the elder think that he would date someone new?

Seeing the younger’s shocked expression made Mark feel confused more than ever.

“I... well, you were with a guy in your bestfriend’s cafe. He was holding your hand... so I thought...”

Jinyoung paued and absorbed the words for a moment, before letting out a deep sigh as he finally realized who Mark was talking about. 

“That was Wonpil. We’re just friends, and I— _hold on_. How did you know we were at Offshore?”

The elder visibly gulped at that. He unconsciously blew his cover, and there was no use denying it now. He averted his eyes from the younger’s scrutinizing gaze, feeling his cheeks burn in embarrassment. 

“I... may or may not have followed you to the cafe that day..." Hearing no response from the other made Mark even more flustered. "I-I was just curious who you were with! That’s all! I didn’t mean to pry... sorry.”

Jinyoung felt his stomach flutter at the thought. It’s comforting to know that he wasn’t the only one who got affected that time.

“If you’re that curious, Wonpil and I are not in a relationship. I’m going to admit, he confessed to me that time, but I told him that I don’t feel the same way. I told him that I’m in love with someone else.”

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off Jinyoung’s shoulder when he said those words out loud to the elder. He had been thinking hard about what he was going to say when he reaches Mark, but he knew that being honest about his feelings would be the best approach. If he could somehow convey how much he wanted Mark back, maybe then the elder would realize his own feelings and consider. He hoped that by keeping it simple would be enough, however It was still unnerving to see the elder so quiet, obviously mulling over the things that the younger said. 

When Mark started opening his mouth to speak, the literature major hoped for the best, however...

“You should’ve said yes.”

Jinyoung blinked repeatedly, almost as if his ears stopped working properly.

“W-what?”

Mark looked away from the younger, opting to watch the mundane scenery outside.

“You should’ve given that Wonpil guy a chance. I’m sure he could take care of you better than I can.”

A wave of hurt suddenly flooded to Jinyoung’s system, in complete disbelief that Mark would say those things to him.

“Didn’t you hear what I just said? He doesn’t have my heart, you do.”

“Maybe it’s time you give it to someone else, then.”

Jinyoung let out a gasp of shock as he blinked owlishly at the elder. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had high expectations when he came to the building, but now, maybe he was only digging himself a deeper grave, because his hopes were suddenly crumbling down before him. 

“H-how can you say that so easily?” 

Mark sighed heavily as he closed his eyes, unable to watch the pain bloom in the younger’s face.

“Because... let’s face it, Jinyoung. Our lives are too different from each other. We live on the opposite side of the world, we’re just not meant to be together.”

Jinyoung shook his head aggressively, tears starting to form in his eyes.

He refused to accept what he had just heard.

“No... T-That’s not true.”

Mark sighed in agony as he could hear Jinyoung’s voice breaking slowly. He can’t handle hurting the younger like this any longer, so he decided to finish this once and for all. 

“Please leave, Jinyoung. There’s nothing else for us to talk about.”

Mark slowly turned his back towards the younger, but Jinyoung wasn’t done talking. The literature major quickly stepped forward in order to grab the elder’s wrist.

“Please, stop this, Mark. I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to push me away because it’s dangerous, right? That my life would be at risk again if I involve myself with you? Don’t. I know that you bought the bookstore to stop anyone from tearing it down, and I know that you were the one who kept sending the flowers to our shop. You’ve been watching over me ever since the day we broke up, so you just can’t tell me that you truly think that we’re not meant to be.”

Jinyoung could feel Mark tense up at the mention of the bookstore. The younger had hoped that by revealing that information he would be able to change the CEO’s mind, but then the elder was as stubborn as he was, and he wouldn’t budge with his decisions so quickly like that.

“I’m sorry I did all that. The flowers were only supposed to be a one time thing, I’ll stop if it’s making you uncomfortable.”

Jinyoung shook his head wildly at the thought, and the elder still refused to look back to him.

“No. I don’t want you to stop. I didn’t know why those flowers gave me a sense of comfort whenever I see it, but knowing that it came from you made so much sense now. That simple gesture made me feel safe, _you_ make me feel safe.”

Mark let out a shaky breath as he listened to Jinyoung’s sincerity.

“Jinyoung, _please_.”

Seeing how affected Mark is prodded the other to push even further. The younger held his wrist even tighter, refusing to back down from claiming his happiness. 

“If you really want me to stop, then look at me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t love me anymore. Tell me that you don’t ever want to see me again. Do that, and I’ll disappear from your life. For good, this time.”

Jinyoung slowly loosened his grip and completely pulled his hand away from Mark’s, letting the ball roll on the elder’s side. He had never felt this scared to hear an answer before. He knew that if ever Mark decided to push him away, his heart would break all over again, but he can’t wait anymore.

He needed to know now.

Mark slowly turned around and stared at Jinyoung, his eyes swimming with indecipherable emotions that made the younger tremble with fear. The elder was deathly quiet, and with every passing second the he wasn’t speaking it was like Jinyoung was getting torn apart limb from limb. 

With full minute of silence, the younger didn’t even need to hear the elder’s voice. He knew what the answer was.

  
Mark doesn’t love him anymore.

Jinyoung closed his eyes in order to stop the tears that threatened to fall in his face. His shoulders slumped visibly, and suddenly he felt embarrassed and humiliated. He should’ve never acted on his emotions, should’ve never took the risk to confess to Mark, not when he wasn’t sure with how the elder feels for him.

He kept scolding himself how it was a mistake coming to see Mark, and while he was getting ready to be rejected right then and there, the elder did the exact opposite of what he was expecting.

He felt a soft hand glide on his cheek and slowly caressed it, and when Jinyoung looked up, he saw Mark stare back at him, his eyes full of longing, love and pain all wrapped up together.

“You have no idea how much I’ve longed for you all this time, Jinyoung. My heart has always been yours, and after all this time I’m still crazily in love with you, just like how I was the first moment that I laid my eyes on you.”

Jinyoung let out a sob of relief as he heard the words he had longed to hear. He then clasped Mark’s hand and gripped it tightly, the elder squeezing it in return.

“I love you too much, that’s why I can’t be with you.”

The initial magic snapped away in an instant, and the younger felt like he was doused with cold water.

“W-Why? You say that you love me, but why can’t we be together?”

Mark slowly inched himself closer to Jinyoung, and the younger could feel the familiar warmth that he had missed for so long.

“I still haven’t finished my fight. I’m trying to break down my connections as a mafia leader, and with my organization shutting down, there are a lot of people who are not happy with me.”

Jinyoung was stunned to hear that.

“Y-you’re leaving the mafia?”

Mark nodded solemnly.

“After everything that happened that night, I realized that this mafia life has never been what I wanted, rather it’s what my father desired for me. For the sake of gaining his approval, I followed through his footsteps, and I thought that there would come a time that I would be able to accept it all, but after Youngjae... after you... It isn’t worth it anymore, not when the people I love are hurting because of it.”

The mafia leader then cupped Jinyoung’s cheeks, his eyes flooded with so much pain, so much guilt and hurt that the younger can’t help but to tighten his hold on the elder out of comfort.

“Breaking down an entire organization isn’t an easy feat, Jinyoung. There are influential people coming for me, and I’m afraid that by accepting you, I won’t be powerful enough to protect you, just as how I failed to do so the last time.”

Jinyoung could feel Mark’s hand tremble in his, and he shook his head firmly, determined to let the elder know that he isn’t going anywhere.

“You don’t have to be afraid, because I’m not scared, not anymore. I’ll be right here with you every step of the way. You fought your battles alone, but now, you have me.”

Fear and doubt still swam on Mark’s warm orb’s, so Jinyoung proceeded to place his hands on the elder’s cheek.

“Listen to me. Believe me when I say that I’m not worried. You’ve always shown me how much you cared about me, and I have no doubt in my mind that after what happened the last time, you won’t let anyone else hurt me. Am I right?”

Mark nodded firmly. The younger flashed a warm smile.

“There you go. If you’re sure that you’ll protect me, and I’m sure that I’ll be fine, then what’s stopping us from loving each other freely?”

“H-how can you accept me like this? When I’ve hurt so many people?”

Jinyoung smiled at him lovingly, his thumb gently caressing the elder’s cheek.

“What’s done is done, Mark. We can’t change what happened, but we can certainly mold the future to our own accord. The Mark Tuan that I know is someone who’s loving, thoughtful, and protective of everyone he cares about. You have your scars, and I have mine, but don’t think that I will love you any less because of it. I accept you for everything that you are. Every little thing.”

The elder then proceeded to hug him tight, and Jinyoung instantly snuggled into Mark’s neck. All those fears, all those worries he’s had in his heart all suddenly came to rest with Mark’s strong presence enveloping him.

“This is a tough battle to face, Jinyoung. Not always will I return to you without suffering any injuries, and there will be times where I won’t return for days. Are you sure you’ll stay by me then? Will you be with me and endure me for who I am until everything is finally over?”

Jinyoung only tightened his hold on the elder nodding determinedly not only to reassure Mark, but also to himself. 

“Every time you come back to me full of gashes, I will be there to patch you right up. No matter where you go and how long you’ll leave, know that everytime you return I will always welcome you back with open arms. I love you and accept you for who you are, Mark Tuan. We’re in this fight together.”

Mark let out a shaky sigh and burrowed himself even closer to Jinyoung. They stayed like that for moment, just feeding off from each others warm and comfort. 

"Oh! That reminds me, I have something that belongs to you."

The elder broke away and started to reach for something inside his collar. The literature major tilted his head curiously at that, but then his eyes sparkled as Mark finally grasped the necklace he was wearing.

"Oh my... is that...?" 

Mark smiled softly as removed the gold wing necklace from his neck. He then proceeded to clasp it around Jinyoung's neck, who by then started tearing up as he fiddled around the edges of the accesory.

"I wanted to keep it with me, because it was the only thing that would remind me that you were real. I never thought you would be able to wear it again like this."

JInyoung felt happiness inside him after so many months. He closed the gap between them as he pecked the older man's lips, his heart soaring with so much love.

"I'm here, and I'm never leaving you again."

Mark smiled and nodded, his brown orbs shining softly with the afternoon glow. 

“ I love you so much, Park Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung smiled back as they continued the hug and basked in each other’s presence. It was there that he knew he made the right decision, because the contentment that he feels in his heart at the moment can’t ever be described in words.

He became so lost and alone the past few months that he was afraid that he would never see the light again, but this— this right here, being wrapped in Mark’s arms made all of that go away.

“I love you too, Mark Tuan.”

Jinyoung found his way once more, and now, he’s right where he belongs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh, I'm not that satisfied with this. However, what's done is done! The Epilogue will be up next! >.<


	22. Epilogue

_• 6 years later •_

Laughter echoed around the studio as the host entertained her audience with yet another hilarious story. The atmosphere was filled with fun and positivity, and the host wanted to keep that momentum going. So, as soon as the melodious sounds died down as the crowd gathered their bearings from the recent anecdote, she proceeded to jump on to the next segment.

“...Now, I know you’ve all been waiting for this moment.”

The audience cheered loudly, excitement visible on their faces. The host smiled enthusiastically at that, the pleasant reaction urging her to continue talking.

“For months, we’ve been trying to get a hold of this person, endlessly pleading with his company to give us even just 10 minutes of his time. It was a struggle at first because of his busy schedule, but finally, he is here! Everyone, are you all ready to meet him?”

The loud chorus of ‘ _YES_ ’ was the answer she got from the anticipating spectators.

“Alright! Without further ado, say hello to the hottest and most sought out literature author in Korea, the one and only... _Park Jinyoung_!”

The crowd clapped enthusiastically and some screamed in happiness. The noise intensified when Jinyoung emerged from the sides, looking absolutely dashing with his checkered suit with black inner shirt and matching pants. The women in the audience swooned in admiration, and when the young author flashed his infamous whiskered smile, everyone almost dropped to the floor with how adorable he looked.

The host was clearly smitten by him as well, her expression in awe as she kept staring at Jinyoung dazedly even when he’s properly seated in for the interview.

“... I have to say, Jinyoung-sshi... you look really handsome in person. Out of all the people I’ve interviewed, your looks triumph them all.”

The author laughed loudly at that, his cheeks burning in embarrassment at the sudden compliment.

“I’m sure there are people more good looking than me, but thank you for the kind words.”

The host sighed dreamily at the sight of his dazzling smile. She stared at him blankly for a few moments, before suddenly remembering that they were in a middle of a show, and that it was aired live for the entire world to see. The host suddenly scrambled through her cue cards to search for the prepared questions, and the way she was exaggerating her movements made everyone laugh inside the studio, including Jinyoung himself.

The host cleared her throat in obvious embarrassment, her face flushing with how quickly she forgot to do her job.

“I apologize for that, folks. It’s rare for an old goat like me to see some dashing, young, men today. Gotta take advantage of it, you know?”

Her comments brought out another fits of laughter from the crowd. The author could only smile shyly at the compliment.

“Now, let’s get down to business shall we? Jinyoung-sshi, When our show got the confirmation that you would be guesting, the amount of comments we received that day was mind blowing! A lot of people have been waiting for you to guest here, so thank you for giving our show a chance!”

The host bowed slightly at the author to show her appreciation, and Jinyoung reciprocated the same action to her.

“It’s no big deal, I’m actually really happy to be here. I’ve really enjoyed watching your show, and the reason that I wasn’t able to guest earlier was because of how hectic my schedule became when I released my latest novel.”

“Oh that’s no problem, Jinyoung-sshi. What matters is that you’re here now, right everyone?”

The audience yelled out an enthusiastic ‘ _YES_!’ all together, making Jinyoung laugh adorably.

“Thank you for waiting, everyone.”

The crowed was swept off their feet as he flashed them a grateful smile.

“Now, why don’t we talk about your latest book? You have set a high standard for the rest of the literature community, Jinyoung-sshi. Your new novel broke the record for the highest sale in the history of Korea on it’s first day!”

The crowd whooped in excitement hearing that, and Jinyoung felt immense pride at the unbelievable achievement. His new novel was only his third book that was published in his career, but it had taken Korea by storm. Everyone who read it before the release date raved highly about it, and his team marketed the novel so successfully that it was sold out in almost all retail shops in the nation.

The reviews and sales were phenomenal, and it was so overwhelming that Jinyoung even went teary eyed as he was presenting a speech on their thanksgiving party.

The young author smiled at the host.

“I couldn’t have made this feat without the help of my company, as well as the team who’s been working with me non-stop as I write this. Of course, I want to thank the people who gave their time to stay in line just to get a hold of my novel. Without all of you guys, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Thank you for all your support.”

Jinyoung turned his attention to everyone in the audience and bowed at them in gratitude, making the crowd cheer in return.

“You have really swept the hearts of the readers here with your latest novel, but how could we ever forget about the one that started it all? Jinyoung-sshi, did it ever cross your mind that from your first ever novel, the infamous ‘ _Star Crossed_ ’, you would gain a lot of attention and become a successful writer?’

Jinyoung smiled as he recalled how it was through the success of ’ _Star Crossed_ ’ that his name started to go around the local media, and it was also through the said novel that he was offered a secure job within different publishing companies way before he even graduated. It was overwhelming to receive such attention from multiple companies at first, but the author wanted to take his time in making a decision about accepting any of them.

There were a lot of big publishers urging him sign to them with a promise of success, but their offers were focused more on making money rather than expanding his talent, so in the end, Jinyoung opted for a smaller, less well-known company. It was a risk for sure, but it was also a very good decision, because his current company is giving him the creative freedom that he desired.

With that freedom, he could write whatever he wants and they would support him in every step of the way. His company is also incredible in treating him kindly, and because they’re only a small team, he had grown to know and love all the staffs there as the years went by. 

All the fame and success is great, but the best thing for him was finding a new set of family with his company; that is something that he would never trade for anything else in the world.

“To tell you the truth, I had never thought that ‘ _Star crossed_ ’ would get me to where I am today. That novel holds a very special place to my heart, and because of that I treasure my success even more.”

The host nodded at the younger man’s words.

“I remember reading it a few years back, and to this day, the pain and hurt I felt that time is still very much fresh in my mind! Tell me Jinyoung-sshi, is there a possible sequel for the novel in the future?”

The crowd murmured and cheered crazily with one another in hopes for a positive confirmation, but Jinyoung could only give them an apologetic smile.

“It saddens me to say that I don’t plan on writing a sequel for ‘ _Star crossed_.’ I’m going to be honest and tell you that I was going through a bad time in my life when I wrote it, so the book is very personal to me. Now, I’m in a great place with so much happiness within me that I just can’t see myself in that perspective anymore. ‘ _Star Crossed_ ’ is something that I will always be thankful for, yes, but I don’t think I would ever want to go back to it again.”

With the author’s sudden confession, the people felt their admiration soar tenfold. Jinyoung was known to not divulge any information that the public doesn’t already know, so at that moment, they were genuinely touched that the author decided to tell a little back story about his first novel.

The host nodded, then gave Jinyoung a smile filled with understanding.

“We respect that Jinyoung-sshi, and we’re all grateful that you spoke about it so honestly.”

Jinyoung flashed his own beautiful smile in appreciation. The mood seemed to have simmered down because of the topic, so the host decided to take things up a notch. 

“Now, why don’t we talk about some lighter things?”

She scooted forward from her seat which was situated next to Jinyoung, her eyes sparkling in mischief and eagerness.

“So Mr. Park... How are you and Mr. Mark Tuan doing now?”

Jinyoung blushed at the mention of the CEO’s name, and his sudden bashfulness went unnoticed to the crowd as they suddenly squealed at the adorable sight. 

Ever since Mark and Jinyoung announced their relationship to the public two years ago, they quickly became Korea’s favorite couple. It was Mark who first announced their relationship on an interview, with the rising author confirming the statement with his own interview not long after.

It was no surprise that after their reveal, their faces quickly became the headlines on every media outlet in the nation, surprising everyone who were aware of who they were. Thankfully, Korea have long been welcoming to same-sex relationships, so the people have been very receptive of their revelation, but what made the masses fall in love with them however was how the couple spoke so highly and so lovingly about each other in their separate interviews.

Their genuine love and affection for one another made the entire nation swoon, and since then the couple had been greatly favored and continuously being talked about wherever they go.

Of course, they didn’t decide to announce it on a whim, they had their own reasons as to why they suddenly wanted to reveal their relationship to the world. 

One reason is that the couple had already spent the majority of their relationship in secret, so after privately revealing their status to Jinyoung’s family, they felt like it was finally time to let everyone know about what they meant to each other.

The other reason runs a little deeper; by publicly declaring Jinyoung’s involvement with Mark, the CEO was subtly telling specific people that the young author is under his protection, and that whoever dares to try and hurt him would be facing the powerful leader’s wrath without question.

Jinyoung scratched the back of his neck, indicating that he felt shy with the topic. 

“U-um, we’re doing really well, actually. We just got a new dog— a poodle. His name is Milo.”

When Milo’s picture was suddenly shown on the screen, the host and the audience cooed at the sight, already loving the young poodle.

“Oh he’s soooo cute! I’m sure he’s making your life a lot more colorful.”

Jinyoung stared at the adorable poodle’s face, already missing his puppy even though he just fed him earlier this morning. It was Mark’s suggestion to get both of them a pet so they can have someone new to play with, but the author knew that his boyfriend had suggested it mainly because he felt guilty about leaving Jinyoung by himself whenever he leaves their home for a while (they’ve been living together ever since Jinyoung graduated from University— it was Mark who asked him at their celebratory date). So in order to give the elder a peace of mind, the younger agreed to the idea. 

It’s proving to be a very effective solution, because Jinyoung is so whipped for Milo that he would drop everything that he’s doing in a heart beat, just so he could spend some time with his pup.

The author smiled fondly as he continued staring at his pet.

“He is. He’s still a baby so he’s literally jumping everywhere, but he’s a very sweet dog. Mark and I are happy to have him.”

“Speaking of Mark-sshi...”

Jinyoung tore his gaze away from the screen and back to the host, who is already smiling cheekily at him.

“How long have you been together with him, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Jinyoung’s heart pounded loudly in his chest, feeling nervous all of a sudden.

Even though they’ve revealed their relationship for years now, talking about Mark in public still sends butterflies to his stomach every time.

“We’ve been together for about 7 years now.”

The crowd sighed collectively at the couple, admiring how they managed to stay in love with each other for so long.

“Oh mygoodness! How lucky you are~ With how long you have been together Jinyoung-sshi, do you think we will hear wedding bells chiming anytime soon?”

The audience hollered and squealed, and the author’s eyes widened dramatically at the question. He then laughed nervously, seemingly at loss on what to reply to the host.

It was just a harmless question, so why did it bother him all of a sudden?

Jinyoung honestly didn’t know what to say, so in order to prevent an awkward silence, he decided to go for a safer answer.

“No plans for now, but if ever that happens, you would be the first to know all about it.”

The filming then continued on for a few more hours, with the author successfully promoting his novel to everyone who was watching as well as surprising the audience with pre-signed books. Once the crew finally wrapped up and it was officially over, Jinyoung made his way out of the building, not forgetting to thank the staff and the host for their hard work as he passed by them along the way.

The author quickly walked towards the parking lot and on to his car, where Jooheon, his assigned bodyguard, was already up and waiting for him.

“Hello, Jinyoung-sshi. Ready to go?”

Jinyoung smiled and nodded towards the man. He took a glance at his watch and gasped as how fast the time had gone. 

“Oh my goodness, it’s already 6pm! The traffic is going to be crazy!” The author then looked at his bodyguard in worry. “Will we be able to reach Jaebeom’s show in time?”

Jooheon only flashed him a dimpled smile.

“Just leave the driving to me, Jinyoung-sshi. I’ll make sure to bring you there before the concert even starts.”

——

 _Jaebeom_ took deep and steady breaths as he slowly gathered his bearings together. He had just finished singing his recently released title track called “Deeper”, and the audience’s response to his performance have been overwhelmingly positive. 

One of his staffs quietly gave him a chair to sit on, and Jaebeom grabbed that chance in order to rest for a while, as well as to talk comfortably to the fans. The artist raised his personalized white microphone to his lips, feeling confident enough that he could speak without any exhaustion.

“You have just listened to ‘Deeper’. How was it, everyone? Did you all like it?”

The cheers echoed throughout the walls of the auditorium, earning a delighted smile from the singer’s face.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Jaebeom then proceeded to wipe the sweat rolling down from his face with his tissues, the action emitting a squeal from the avid fans. The singer only smiled in response, scooting himself in his seat in order to relax his sore legs.

“I know that I have been very repetitive with my words today, but I want to sincerely thank everyone again for coming to my first fan meeting.“

The fans cheered loudly in unison, making Jaebeom smile fondly at them. It had already been 4 years since he first debuted as a solo artist, but even up to this day he still couldn’t believe that he had finally managed to make it.

Prior to his debut, Jaebeom had felt dissatisfied with his music, the disappointment to his sound so great that it ultimately pushed him to decide to quit it all together. When he was about to do so, however, one music company reached out to him, telling him how much they liked his style, and that they wanted to sign him in as one of their artists. Jaebeom had felt skeptical of it at the beginning, but after arduous days of self reflection and advices from family and friends, he decided to go for it and joined.

Thankfully for him, all his hard work had not gone to waste, because as soon as he signed, everything went uphill from there. Under the artist name of _JB_ , he finally managed to showcase his musical prowess to the world. It took almost a year before he was able to properly debut, but nonetheless, his music had been greatly welcomed locally and internationally. Slowly but surely, Jaebeom became one of the monster rookies in the charts, placing first and winning trophies in every music platform whenever he releases a new single. Soon after, his popularity grew as he slowly started guesting in variety shows to showcase his goofy and dorky side to the public.

Now, with the constant demand from the fans he had gained throughout time, he was finally able to hold his very own fan meeting. The auditorium isn’t big enough to hold thousands of fans at once since it’s only Jaebeom’s first fan meet, but that didn’t stop them from selling out the tickets anyway.

“To show you how grateful I am, the next song that I’m going to sing is an unreleased single.”

The crowd gasped and cheered in their seats, excitement bubbling up inside them as they get the privilege to hear the song first before anyone else. 

The artist continued to talk as the crowd murmured with enthusiasm.

“But before that, I’m going to tell you what this song is all about, and why I chose to hide it until now. Is it okay If we did a little story time first?”

The crowed responded with an eager ‘ _Yes_ ’, always ready to listen to whatever their beloved artist is going to say. 

Jaebeom nodded slightly, then took a deep breath as he began to speak.

“I wrote this song a couple of years ago, way before I even debuted as an artist. There was... someone very special to me, and he asked me for a gift on his birthday. At that time, I was stupid enough to actually forget to bring any, so I was freaking out on what to give him. However, he told me that all he wanted from me was a song; that he would already be happy with just that.”

Jaebeom stared at the ceiling in fondness, the memories playing in his head as if he was watching a movie. The crowd was deathly silent, everyone’s attention fully on the artist mainly because it was the first time that they heard such a story, and because they grew curious about who the mystery guy is. 

“I was very happy at that time, so happy that I had ideas flowing in my mind on what I wanted the song to be like. I wanted it to be extremely perfect, because it was my special person who asked for it. However, as I was about to start making the song... something happened, and he left this world without a warning.”

Collective gasps were heard at the auditorium, multiple hearts breaking at the shocking revelation of the young singer. Jaebeom closed his eyes as the distant memory of the incident resurfaced in his mind.

It didn’t hurt anymore, but it still managed to tug his heartstrings every time he remembers it. 

“I was so devastated back then. I was questioning everything; _Why did it happen? Why him? Why me?_ Everything felt so wrong, like the world just doesn’t move the same way after, you know? I was so sure I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, so why did the universe take him away from me?”

The artist carefully watched his audience’s reaction, smiling sadly to himself as he could already detect tears from some of them.

“After he died, I had no will to make any music. I felt like I had no purpose, because not even a single note sounded good to me. It wasn’t until months after, when I was scrolling through my phone that I stumbled upon the drafts of the song. Suddenly, it was like an invisible force was telling me to make it; to go and fulfill my promise to him. I didn’t think twice at all. I went to my studio to create it right there and then, and I finished everything on that single night.”

Jaebeom slowly stood up from his chair and positioned himself in front of the mic stand, heaving a deep breath as he prepared himself to sing.

“This is entirely different to the initial feel that I wanted to go for, but this encompasses the feelings that I had at that time. I felt like this is the perfect time to finally reveal it, and to let everyone know that in this world, someone bright like him existed. This is called _1:31 AM_ , and I dedicate this song to him.”

There was a slight pause before sounds of piano flowed seamlessly throughout the auditorium. Jaebeom closed his eyes on instinct as he let the music carry him down to his memories.

He brought the mic closer to his lips.

Then, he started singing.

_I still can’t believe it_  
_That when I open my eyes you aren’t next to me_

_Even if those memories make it hard on me_  
_It’s in my head again_  
_Even if I clear out all those memories_

Jaebeom thought back to the times when he felt shattered about Youngjae’s death. It wasn’t easy picking himself up after. The days were dull and lifeless, and time was moving so slowly without the younger next to him.

There was a hole inside of him that just can’t be filled, no matter how much he throws himself with work.

The singer kept his eyes closed, completely immersing himself on the steady flow of the music.

_I am always drowned in the thoughts of you_  
_I get exhausted from crying_  
_But I look for traces of you again_

Losing Youngjae definitely affected him for a while. Everything around reminded him so much about the younger — the blooming flowers, the sway of music, the melodious laughter of people, the bright and lively sun — that it was difficult to walk around without thinking of him.

Jaebeom felt envious seeing other people spend their days with their loved ones, including Jinyoung, and even though he never mentioned that envy to the younger, he knew his bestfriend is well aware of what he’s feeling. 

But can anyone blame him though? He lost the love of his life.

_You have to stay well don’t even get sick_  
_The way you smile, don’t ever lose that If it ever gets hard_  
_You can come find me again_  
_I am here like always at this place for you_  
_I will never leave_  
_I am waiting for you..._

Jaebeom had thought that he would never feel that kind of happiness again, so in order to hopefully fill in that void in his heart, he resorted to short term relationships, thinking that if he distracted himself with other people he would eventually forget all about Youngjae.

What he was doing, however, was only inflicting more pain to himself, and it took him one incident to finally see how much destruction he had caused.

Jaebeom was so sure that no one like Youngjae would come to his life, but he was wrong. 

Throughout the years, he didn’t know how, or why, or when it happened, but it did.

He found himself falling in love again.

_Because of you I changed everything_

_Since you are not here_  
_I’m not able to do anything_

_I can’t forget about you but_  
_No matter how hard I try_  
_You are getting further away again_

_Why do i believe that you will return back to me?_

That person helped him cope through everything that he had gone through, was with him in every bad relationship and every success. It was definitely scary when the artist first realized his feelings for that person, because it was like he was betraying Youngjae by looking at another. Jinyoung however, reassured him that the younger would be happy for him; that his dongsaeng would want him to move on to better things.

Youngjae would want Jaebeom to live his life to the fullest, and that includes being rightfully happy with someone else.

Even though that may be the case now, finding a new love doesn’t mean that Youngjae isn’t special to the singer anymore.

Maybe in another life, they would get to meet and fall in love again; maybe in some parallel universe they’re already together, living happily in each other’s arms.

Jaebeom had long since left the feeling of mourning for a lost love, rather he feels hopeful; that somewhere out there, their story is beautifully wrapped in a happy ending.

_Come back to me please no matter how long it takes_  
_Come back To me I don’t want to let you go_  
_You have to stay well don’t even get sick_  
_The way you smile, don’t ever lose that_  
_If it ever gets hard_  
_You can come find me again_  
_I am here like always at this place for you_  
_I will never leave_  
_I am waiting for you..._

For now, Jaebeom is going to start with a new beginning, and for that to happen, he has to properly say goodbye to his past. 

So with this one song, he is going to let out all of his feelings to Youngjae. He is going to use his voice to reach the younger in the heavens, to tell him what he wanted to say all these years.

_**Thank you.** _

_**I’m sorry.** _

_**I love you.** _

_**Goodbye.** _

_Come back to me please no matter how long it takes_  
_Come back To me I don’t want to let you go_  
_You have to stay well don’t even get sick_  
_The way you smile, don’t ever lose that_  
_If it ever gets hard_  
_You can come find me again_  
_I am here like always at this place for you_  
_I will never leave_  
_I am waiting for you..._

This is Jaebeom’s ode to the man he had loved; the man who once gave meaning to life, and the one who brightened the sky above and the earth below with his smile.

‘ _Thank you for everything, sunshine. Wherever you are, I hope you’re finally free._ ’

As soon as the music faded, thunderous claps rumbled throughout the room. When Jaebeom opened his eyes to look at the audience, he found everyone tearing up, their faces showing great sorrow mixed with outmost respect to him. The young artist let out a deep breath and bowed his head low in gratefulness, happy to know that he was able to give the song so much justice. 

The fan meeting continued on with a few more songs, and when everything was done he made his way to the backstage, thanking everyone along the way for their hardwork. When the artist arrived at the dressing room, he found Jinyoung sitting on the couch, eyes crinkling with so much pride and admiration.

“You were amazing up there, hyung!”

Jaebeom smiled and took the bouquet that the author was armed with, then proceeded to pull the younger into a tight hug.

“I’m so proud of you.” 

Jinyoung whispered softly to his ear. Jaebeom hummed and responded with a soft kiss on the younger’s neck.

“Thank you, nyoung.”

When the duo slowly broke away from the hug, Jinyoung still had his proud smile plastered on his face. He held the elder’s hand tightly and squeezed it affectionately. 

“Hyung, that song was beautiful. I’m sure Youngjae is very happy wherever he is right now.”

Jaebeom smiled widely in return. His heart felt light, as if it was telling him the same thing.

“I hope so.”

The artist then decided to sit on the couch in order to massage his sore calf. He had been standing for almost an hour, so it was no surprise that he felt it cramping. Jinyoung followed suit, and when Jaebeom turned to look at him, the younger was already staring back, as if he was waiting for the elder to say something important.

Jaebeom didn’t even need to prompt the younger to ask what it was about, because Jinyoung had already spoken first.

“Have you told him?”

With that, the artist slumped slightly in his seat. He then sighed defeatedly and shook his head no.

“I... don’t know what to say.”

Jinyoung nodded silently in understanding. He reached towards the elder and rubbed his shoulder in comfort.

“I know I said to take your time, but you have to tell him eventually. You can’t keep avoiding him forever, you know.”

Jaebeom nodded solemnly.

“I know... The next time I see him, I’m going to tell him. I promise.”

Jinyoung smiled at that. He could always count on Jaebeom to follow through with his promises.

“How about you? Has Mark come back home yet?”

Now, it was Jinyoung’s turn to sulk in his seat. He shook his head and sighed gloomily.

“No. He still hasn’t called or texted me. It’s been two and a half weeks since he left, Beom. He hasn’t tried to contact me even once.”

Jaebeom repeated the same action of comfort that the younger did to him earlier. Throughout the years, Mark had been in and out of Korea for a couple of times already, leaving the younger in a state of worry every time he departs. Whenever that happens, Jaebeom would always come over, and together with Yugyeom (who lives in the same house as them) — and sometimes Jackson (who frequents the mansion in his spare time) — they would help keep Jinyoung distracted, so he wouldn’t dwell on it so deeply. It can only help so much with the stress however, because they both know the true danger of Mark’s work. The best that they can do is to pray that everything would be alright, and that the elder would return home safely.

“I’m sure he’s fine, nyoung. He always comes back every time, doesn’t he? Don’t worry too much about it.”

Jinyoung scoffed loudly at that, a pout visible on his handsome face.

“If he can’t even text me a single hello, then I’m not worrying about that idiot. When he comes back, he’ll be sleeping in the guest room for the rest of his life.”

Jaebeom chuckled at his best friend’s pettiness. He ruffled the younger’s hair affectionately, earning him a whine from the latter for ruining his hairstyle.

“Go for it. Give him a taste of his own medicine, nyoung. Now, why don’t we have dinner tonight?”

Jinyoung’s mood shifted instantly at the mention of food. The younger nodded excitedly next to him, so Jaebeom stood up and went to his closet in order to get some things to bring inside his bag.

When he was busy rustling through his clothes, a sudden knock was heard towards the door. 

“I’ll get it!”

Jinyoung spoke as he moved, and Jaebeom continued on what he was doing. There were murmurs that flowed as soon as the door opened, but Jaebeom was too busy with his things to pay them any attention.

“Hyung.”

The artist stopped what he was doing in order to see what Jinyoung wanted. As he turned his attention however, he immediately realized that the younger wasn’t alone. 

Jackson was standing right next to him on the doorway, looking absolutely dashing with his black turtle neck sweater and leather pants.

The room went silent for a moment. Jaebeom felt frozen in his spot, unable to stop staring at the dazzling man in front of him. Jackson was doing the same as well, his eyes locking heavily to the man he desperately wanted to see tonight.

They would’ve stayed rooted on their spots completely fine with just exchanging stares with one another, if only Jinyoung didn’t clear his throat in a very loud manner.

The spell between them suddenly broke, leaving the two to gaze into different walls inside the room.

Jinyoung made his way towards his best friend, who was now dumping things in his bag without even bothering to look at what he is stuffing inside it.

“Why don’t we reschedule that dinner some other day? I just remembered that I have some important things to do. I’ll go ahead now, okay?”

Jaebeom inwardly panicked for a bit after hearing that. The elder wanted him to stay, but one intense look from Jinyoung made him shut up instantly.

Pleased with the elder’s reaction, the younger gave his best friend a quick hug and a tap on his shoulder, silently giving him the encouragement he needed. The young author then turned towards Jackson, who was fidgeting slightly with the bouquet of flowers he was currently holding in his hand. 

“Seunie, you didn’t forget to turn the stove off before you left the house, did you?”

Jackson gasped loudly. He clenched his chest in a dramatic fashion, as if Jinyoung just accused him of something ridiculous.

“You think so lowly of me, Park gae! Of course I turned it off! It was the last thing that I did before I left!” 

Jinyoung laughed and shook his head fondly, silently reminding himself to text Yugyeom to turn the stove off in his stead. Judging by the way Jackson was looking like a nervous wreck right now, there was no way that he could’ve remembered such a tiny detail.

The young author chuckled inwardly, he then bid his goodbyes and stepped out of the room, leaving the two to talk privately.

When door finally closed behind them, Jackson slowly made his way towards Jaebeom.

“You were enchanting up there tonight, Jaebeom hyung.”

Jaebeom felt his cheeks redden at the compliment. He then smiled at the younger in appreciation.

“Thank you, Seun-ah.”

The artist then motioned for the flowers, and Jackson gave the bouquet with a sheepish laugh.   
The elder took the flowers and gently raised it to his nose, inhaling the sweet scent it emits.

When he looked up to face the younger, the latter was already staring at him affectionately.

That was when the elder noticed how tired Jackson looked, even though he was dressed finely that evening. The artist decided to bring it up out of worry.

“Seun-ah, you look exhausted.”

The younger laughed mirthlessly, gliding his hands on his brunette hair that made Jaebeom stare a little bit more than necessary.

“I- well, I just got back from China a while ago. I didn’t want to miss your show, so after I stopped at Mark hyung’s house for moment, I came here straight away.”

Jaebeom felt touched hearing that, but it made him feel guilty as well. The younger had been steadily growing as an artist in China for a few years now, and his career had him taking flights back and forth from both countries that would often leave him drained of energy. The elder had nagged him to take better care of himself, but Jackson would always say that having careers in different countries satisfies him, and performing in a lot of places makes him happy. 

The artist sighed as he stared at the younger out of concern.

“You know I’m glad to see you tonight seun-ah, but you shouldn’t push yourself so much. You must be so tired right now.”

Jackson dropped his head down and fiddled with his fingers out of nervousness.

“I know, hyung... but this is _your_ show. I can’t miss it for anything else in the world. I can sleep off my exhaustion after, but I can’t afford to lose the chance to see you on that stage, because... well. You know why.”

Jaebeom didn’t know what to respond to that, so he let the silence envelop them once again.

They had been in that awkward stage ever since Jackson confessed about his feelings for the elder more than a year ago. Even though Jaebeom promised that nothing would change between them after the confession, there was no denying that their dynamic definitely took a turn that none of them wanted.

The artist unconsciously avoided the younger out of fear for his own undiscovered feelings, which Jackson interpreted differently. Ultimately, the younger decided to stay away, in order to give his hyung the respect and comfort that he wanted.

What that distance did to Jaebeom however, was the complete opposite.

In fact, it was because of that sudden cold treatment that the artist realized how much he wanted Jackson right next to him. 

When the elder still wasn’t responding to what he said, Jackson let out a defeated sigh.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the mood. I just wanted to congratulate you on your first show. I don’t want to bother you anymore, so I’ll be on my way now. See you around, hyung.”

Jaebeom’s mouth gaped like a goldfish out of water, surprise visible on his face as the younger announced that he was leaving.

Jackson smiled sadly as he took the silence as another form of yes. With a final wave, he turned his back from the elder and willed himself to start walking away.

Jaebeom stood there dumbly as he watched the retreating back of Jackson slowly disappear, his hands still clutching to the bouquet that the younger had generously given to him moments ago.

He didn’t know why he wasn’t moving. Didn’t he already promise Jinyoung that he would confess as soon as possible?

He’s not going to deny that there’s still some fear left in his body right now. Jackson’s connection to the mafia runs deep, and even though the younger is trying his best to leave that life behind him, there’s a possibility that something similar to the past would happen again in the future.

Jaebeom had already lost someone before, so if he were to lose another person that he cares so much about, he doesn’t know how he would be able to cope with it.

However... if he stopped himself now from going after Jackson, then what was the use of singing a tribute song for Youngjae?

If he gives in to his fears now, then did he even really move on from his past?

There were a lot of things that was going on in his mind. There’s thousands of things to consider and worry about, but right now, there was one thing that he knew he is sure of. 

He didn’t want Jackson to leave.

With that thought, Jaebeom tentatively took steps forward. From slowly walking out of his room to fully running on the halls of the building, the artist turned his head from side to side as he tried to grasp the traces of brunette in his vision.

When Jackson was nowhere to be found inside, Jaebeom decided to continue his search out to the busy streets of Seoul, craning his neck as high as possible in hopes of finding who he was looking for. Jaebeom silently prayed to the heavens that he wasn’t too late, so when he finally spotted the familiar build and hair color that he was desperate on searching, the artist didn’t hesitate to make a run for it.

“Jackson!”

Jaebeom quickly maneuvered through the sea of people, his eyes locked tight on to the man who was currently walking away from him.

“Jackson!”

Jaebeom screamed louder, and that did the trick as Jackson halted his steps when he heard his name being called.

As the artist finally reached where the younger was standing, Jackson slowly turned around to face him, his eyes tinkled with a mixture of curiosity, bewilderment, and hope.

“Hyung? What are you doing? Why did you run?”

Jaebeom quickly composed himself and stood up straight, his heart beating heavily against his chest. He knows he’s risking it all right now, but he just can’t let Jackson leave without letting him know how much he means to the elder.

“Would you... like to have dinner with me, tonight? There’s... something important that I have to tell you.”

Jaebeom’s heart thundered in his chest as he waited for Jackson’s answer. The younger’s eyes were boring holes into his body, as if he was searching for an indication that this wasn’t a joke.

“Hyung... are you sure about this?”

Jackson asked timidly. The artist knew that his dongsaeng was feeling insecure, so he grabbed the younger’s hand and squeezed it firmly.

“I’m sure, seun-ah. Trust me.”

The worries that clouded Jaebeom’s mind instantly faded away as he could feel Jackson squeeze his hand back.

Jaebeom smiled at the sight of their locked fingers, before finally remembering that he left his bag and wallet back at his dressing room in favor of searching for Jackson. The elder decided to head back to the building, asking the younger to wait for a moment as he goes to fetch his things.

When Jaebeom came back to the room he immediately headed straight towards his bag, but before he could properly take it, he noticed a batch of fresh flowers on the table that was not there before. 

He stared at the bouquet out of curiosity, and with enough observation he discovered a note that was partially hidden beneath the flowers.

Feeling intrigued, the artist tentatively reached for the folded note in order to read what was written on it.

Jaebeom felt greatly confused after reading it. He didn’t know who would leave him such a message, and weirdly enough he didn’t know how the flowers got there in the first place.

The artist looked around his surroundings for a moment, wondering who would enter his room and leave him a bouquet with a note that had no indication on who it was from.

He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t realize he was taking a long time to grab his things, because Jackson who was waiting outside suddenly entered the room, his expression slightly worried.

“Hyung? You okay?”

Jaebeom suddenly came back to his senses seeing the younger. He blinked owlishly, as if he just got out of a bizarre daze.

“Oh, Jackson. Was I taking long? Sorry. I just...”

The artist stared at the note then back again to his surroundings, feeling a weird sensation creep up in him all of a sudden. 

“Hyung? What is it?”

At the sight of Jackson’s worried face, Jaebeom smiled reassuringly. He shook his head in response and placed the note back to the table, deciding that it was not important to be concerned about.

“It’s... it’s nothing. I’m okay, seunie. I’m just feeling hungry right now. Shall we go ahead?”

Jackson nodded slowly in agreement, his eyes darting from Jaebeom and down to the mysterious note. The younger felt curious, but didn’t comment anything about it.

Letting the topic drop, Jaebeom grabbed his bag from the table and they both left the room together. 

Once they met the cold air again from the outside, Jaebeom felt the sudden need to get close. He slowly settled himself next to Jackson, who wordlessly intertwined their hands together to provide warmth. Jaebeom smiled inwardly at that, basking in the contentment that he was feeling by being next to Jackson’s body.

For the first time in a long time, Jaebeom felt that familiar bud of hope bloom in his chest. 

Finally, he could see himself become truly happy again.

——

Jinyoung woke up earlier than he usually does on a Monday morning, his brain more active than needed. He was feeling restless all of a sudden, and there was this nervous energy in him that he didn’t know where it was coming from.

He rolled around his soft mattress and unto Mark’s side, where he snuggled the elder’s pillows close to his chest.

The bed felt too big and too cold for Jinyoung to sleep alone without Mark‘s warmth holding him close, so waking up to another day without his beloved next to him was torture. 

He missed Mark so much, it was driving him insane. 

The young author continued to lay miserably like that for a few minutes, before ultimately forcing himself to head down towards the kitchen.

It‘s better to distract himself by making some breakfast for Jackson and Yugyeom than sulk in his bed in despair, anyways.

Jinyoung brewed some coffee and made some pancakes and eggs, he then took some dog food for milo who started barking like crazy as soon as he saw his owner. Once he was done setting the table up for breakfast, the author decided to place himself on the chair in their dining area and wait for the two to come down.

As Jinyoung sat there in silence holding his coffee, his mind slowly drifted back to the thing that he had been contemplating about for days now; the reason that was leaving him dazed throughout the day, and was keeping him up awake at night.

“Morning, hyung.”

The author directed his gaze towards a sleepy looking Yugyeom, Jackson trailing not far behind him. Sleep was very much evident on both of the men’s faces, the smell of food not even enough to shake them both awake.

The duo sat lazily on their own respective chairs, Jinyoung quietly observing as Jackson grabbed a cup of coffee like a zombie fresh out of his grave and Yugyeom pouring syrup on his pancakes with his eyes still closed.

That thought still kept nagging annoyingly at the back of the author’s brain, so in order to give himself a little bit of peace, he decided to consult the two about what was bothering him.

“Yugy? Seunie?”

The duo hummed in unison, letting the other know they were listening. 

“Do you guys think I should propose to Mark?”

If the two wasn’t awake before, they certainly are now.

Their reactions were comical at best, with how Jackson coughed his coffee out of his nostrils, and Yugyeom accidentally squirting an unhealthy amount of syrup on his pancake. 

“ _WHAT_?”

“ _P-propose_?”

They both exclaimed simultaneously, and it was so painfully exaggerated that Jinyoung immediately frowned at them. 

“Why? Is it such a bad idea that you had to react like that?”

Jackson and Yugyeom quickly composed themselves and shook their heads in unison.

“N-no hyung! We’re going to be very happy if you and Mark-hyung decide to get married! It’s just that we were caught off guard you know... what made you suddenly think about proposing?”

Jinyoung propped his elbow on to the table and perched his chin on his palm, recalling how the idea formed in his head.

“The host at the show I guested a few days ago asked me when will I get married, so it got me thinking. Mark and I have been together for 7 years now... isn’t it time that we tie the knot? He hasn’t hinted about proposing at all... so maybe, he’s waiting for me to do it?”

Yugyeom and Jackson looked at each other briefly, a silent conversation passing through their eyes. Jackson decided to speak first.

“Uh... nyoungie... maybe the reason why he’s not saying anything is because he’s still planning for it?”

Jinyoung then directed his eyes at Jackson, who gulped instantly at the stare.

“You think so? How are you so sure?”

The man in question only laughed sheepishly.

“W-well, you know how Mark-hyung is... he’s the unpredictable type. Maybe he’s just looking for the right time to ask you. Why don’t you... um, wait for a little bit?”

The author sighed in his seat, feeling unconvinced about what Jackson was telling him.

“But what if you’re wrong? What if I’m waiting for nothing? I can’t wait any longer, Seunie. I’m sure that he’s the only one that I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

Yugyeom was about to interject and say that he didn’t have to worry at all, but Jinyoung wasn’t listening. He slammed his hands down to the table and stood up determinedly, effectively shutting the two with whatever they wanted to say.

“Okay, I’ve decided. I’m going to do it. When Mark gets home from his trip, I’m proposing to him.”

Jinyoung nodded firmly to himself, completely unbothered about listening to any other opinion. He then quickly turned his head towards the two, who was only quietly looking at him from the other side of the table.

“I want you both to cancel all your schedules tomorrow. You’re going to help me find the perfect ring to propose with. I’m not taking any excuses, got it?”

Jinyoung didn’t even listen to their reply as he stood up from his seat, bringing his used coffee mug with him to place it on the sink in order to wash it clean.

The author then made his way out of the kitchen in order to prepare for his Monday schedule, but before he could fully leave the premises, he turned his head back again towards the dumbfounded men left on the table, flashing them the deadliest stare he could muster.

“Absolutely no mentioning this to anyone, you hear me? I want this to be executed as perfect as possible. If you ever snitch on me, I’ll make sure that the only thing that your balls would ever be good for is display.”

With that spine tingling threat, the author then finally left the kitchen in favor of his room. 

If he only turned back one last time, he would’ve seen the look of pure panic that slowly made it’s way towards the duo’s faces. 

But alas, he didn’t look back, so he remained oblivious, the plans of the proposal whirring through his mind as he started going about his schedule for that day. 

——

Being completely involved in work has helped Jinyoung a lot about coping with Mark’s long absences. It’s especially beneficial right now, as this was the longest that the elder had been away from home. What’s worse about it is that Mark isn’t sending him any indication that he was doing okay this time around.

Usually, the elder would always inform Jinyoung on where he is and what he was doing, but the complete and utter radio silence that was happening now is making the author deathly worried.

He had been itching to ask Jackson about what was happening, but the trust that he puts on Mark is telling him otherwise. 

There’s a reason why the elder isn’t communicating with him, and Jinyoung isn’t going start doubting him now.

The best thing that the author could do is wait patiently, because that’s what he had promised the elder years ago.

So, in order to distract himself from worrying too much, Jinyoung decided to immerse himself in work. At the moment, the company is introducing him to a couple of young, aspiring rookie authors, and he was more than glad to mentor them and guide them with what he had learned throughout his career. The students were understandably in awe when they first met Jinyoung, but they quickly warmed up to their senior, seeing as how friendly and welcoming he actually is in person. Jinyoung gladly taught them the ropes of the company, and they spent their afternoon interviewing the life of the famous author.

After the eventful meet up with the rookie authors, Jinyoung then had to attend a meeting for his latest novel, and also to talk about future plans of releasing his first ever series. He had been wanting to write one for a while now, and he figured that it was finally time to invest in such a big-scaled project. When the higher ups readily agreed with the author’s presentation, he was so ecstatic that he felt the need to start right away.

That excitement caused him to stay at his own office later than usual, not forgetting to inform Jackson and Yugyeom about his whereabouts, since the duo insisted that he should report the places he goes to at least once a day. Jinyoung understood that it was for his own safety, so he complied to the request without question.

The author wrote ceaselessly, and it was already almost midnight when he finally got tired of working.

He stretched his sore limbs before he started to pack up his laptop, feeling satisfied that his series is off to a great start. He sent a quick text to Yugyeom that he was coming home, before finally leaving his office.

There was nobody around when he made his way out of the company except for Jooheon, who was waiting patiently outside of his building.

Jooheon bowed as soon as he saw the author approaching.

“Good evening. Ready to go?”

Jinyoung nodded at him tiredly.

“You bet. I can’t wait to jump in on my bed right now.”

Jooheon gave him a dimpled smile, and the two went in to the car in order to go their way.

Jinyoung was continuously yawning throughout the ride, and he could feel his eyelids droop down every passing minute, but his gut was weirdly telling him not to fall asleep. The author had always followed his instincts, so he willed himself to stay awake, and in order to do that, he decided to watch the road instead. 

As they kept driving, he noticed that the road they were in was not what they usually take when heading back towards the house.

Jinyoung suddenly felt confused by this, so he turned to his bodyguard to ask.

“Jooheon, where are we going?”

The bodyguard caught a glimpse of the latter at the rearview mirror.

“I have been ordered to take you somewhere else, Jinyoung-sshi.”

The author raised his brow at that.

“Ordered by who? Why?”

“By Jackson-sshi. For the reason... I don’t know.”

Suddenly, Jinyoung’s drowsiness was gone. The gears in his head started whirring, worry slowly creeping up inside his chest. 

“What? Wait... did something happen back at the house?”

Jooheon shook his head apologetically.

“I’m sorry Jinyoung-sshi... Jackson-sshi only told me that you have to be escorted to another place. He didn’t tell me the reason why.”

Jinyoung instantly felt alarmed at that. He moved forward and grasped the headrest on Jooheon’s seat, his face contorting in apparent distress.

“Jooheon, please... just be honest with me. Is everything okay? Where’s Yugyeom? Jackson? Oh mygod, I left Milo at the house! What if something bad happened to him?!”

Jinyoung was already panicking in his seat, so Jooheon reached behind and pat the author’s hand reassuringly, his eyes still trained on the road in front of him. 

“Everything is okay, Jinyoung-sshi. You know you can trust Jackson-sshi and Yugyeom. I’m sure they know what they’re doing. You can ask them questions later, but for now, I have to take you somewhere else, okay?”

Jinyoung wanted to fight for more answers, but he knew that he wouldn’t get anything out of Jooheon. The author slumped on his seat in defeat, letting his bodyguard take him to where he needed to go.

He felt uneasy the entire journey, frustration high on his chest as he felt so lost on what was happening.

He wasn’t going to mention it, but he was fully aware that there were some sort of tension inside the house for the entire month that Mark has been away. The author knew about the increase in security in their home, and no matter how Jackson tries to reason that him staying with them was for convenience, he knew that it was because of Mark’s request that he was doing so. 

Jinyoung isn’t oblivious to what was happening around him. He kept quiet about it, but now, he felt scared that this may be the explosion of that silent tension that he had been feeling.

His mind suddenly thought back to his family, wondering if they were safe at their house. Mark had reassured him that there was going to be a group of security that would take care of his family 24/7, but he still couldn’t help but feel worry about them.

Guilt started rising in him, he suddenly felt like it was unfair that he was the only one being taken up to safety, when others around him could be facing possible danger.

The author sighed solemnly to himself. He can’t possibly understand what was going on out there, so he resorted to figuring out where he was being taken instead. It didn’t take long for him to know however, because as soon as he saw a familiar shaped hill, he realized that he was being escorted towards the uphill resthouse of Mark, where he was also accompanied by Bambam years ago.

It had been ages since he last saw the gates leading to the resthouse, and when Jooheon stopped the car in front of it, memories unconsciously flooded through his head.

“You can go ahead and enter, Jinyoung-sshi.”

Jinyoung looked towards Jooheon in confusion.

“You’re not coming with me?”

The bodyguard smiled apologetically and shook his head.

“I’m afraid not. I still have some things I need to do tonight.”

Jooheon could see the worry that was etched on the author’s face, so he quickly reassured the latter.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing dangerous. I just have some family matters to attend to. Besides, you’ll be fine once you get inside. They’re waiting for you over there.”

Jinyoung wasn’t able to ask who he was talking about, because Jooheon was already ushering him outside of the car.

“Relax, Jinyoung-sshi. You’re more than safe tonight.”

That was the bodyguard’s final words to Jinyoung as he finally sped away with the car. The author huffed in frustration, hating how his questions were left unanswered.

He figured that the only way he would know what was going was to get inside, so, with a deep breath, he walked towards the gate, feeling his nerves thrum nervously inside him.

He believed that he was safe because the place is Mark’s territory, but he wanted to be sure nonetheless.

He placed his fists in front of him, ready to connect it to any throat that would dare reach him tonight. Jackson and Mark had taught him self defense over the years in case of emergencies, but hopefully this would not be the night that he gets to use it for the first time. 

Jinyoung was on high alert as he made his way through the familiar steps and gardens of the hill. When he rounded on a familiar path, he saw a very familiar person standing in one of the steps.

Jinyoung’s eyes almost bulged out of his socket as he walked closer to confirm who he was seeing.

“B-Bo Young noona?”

His older sister turned her head and smiled cheekily, obviously unbothered about the shocked look on his younger brother’s face.

“Nyoungie! You’re finally here.”

Jinyoung brow’s furrowed in confusion.

“Finally? You were expecting me? Why? What are you even doing here?”

Instead of answering the barrage of questions however, Bo Young only offered him a flower, which the author accepted hesitantly.

“What’s this for? What’s going on?”

The older woman only smiled knowingly.

“You’ll see soon enough. Now, just keep going forward, okay? Follow the lamps.”

Jinyoung wanted to protest and ask more questions, but Bo young wasn’t having any of it. She pushed her brother forward, telling him to ‘ _Hurry up!_ ’ multiple times.

The author reluctantly did what he was told, and when he climbed up the steps a little bit further, he saw his other sister, So Young, waiting for him.

“Noona?”

So young gave the author another flower. Much like Bo Young, she refused to answer to any of Jinyoung’s questions and moved him along.

With each passing minute, the author grew more and more confused. As he kept moving forward, his bewilderment skyrocketed even more, as the next people that was waiting for him was his own parents, who also holding flowers on both of their hands.

When Jinyoung made his way towards them, the couple wordlessly gave the flowers to their son.

“So, I’m guessing you won’t answer why you’re here either, am I right?”

The elderly couple only smiled in response, making Jinyoung sigh in defeat.

“Fine, I won’t ask. But after all this, you’re going to tell me, okay?”

His mother tapped his cheek lovingly and nodded.

“Get going, dear.”

Jinyoung gave them one final glance as he continued on to his way. As he went further ahead, he was met by Jackson and Yugyeom, who was bearing him the same flowers as his family did. 

The author was getting frustrated at that point, so Yugyeom had to reassure him that he was doing well.

“You’re almost there, hyung.”

Finally, when he was at the last stop (as Jackson thankfully told him out of pity - and fear, if he wear to be honest-), he saw Jaebeom, holding not only one, but two flowers in his hand.

Jinyoung narrowed his eyes in annoyance seeing the elder, who was only staring at him in amusement.

“So, you’re in on this weird thing too, huh?”

Jaebeom only smirked mischievously.

“Don’t look so irritated, nyoung-ah. You’re going to love the end result of all this. Trust me.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes but accepted the flowers nonetheless. Jaebeom then raised his arm to show the younger on where he needs to go.

Following his best friend’s instruction, Jinyoung found himself walking on the same place where he had been years before, where he could see the city lights blinking beautifully below.

Also the same as before, Mark was standing proudly in the middle of it all, eyes locked on no one else but the younger.

And just like the last time after seeing him, Jinyoung ran forward to meet the elder, 

However...

“ _You idiot!_ ”

To Mark’s surprise, instead of feeling Jinyoung’s warm body close to him, the CEO was met with fresh flowers hitting his arm as a greeting.

“Did you know how worried I was the entire month you were away?! You can’t even let me know that you’re still breathing?!”

Jinyoung continued assaulting his lover’s arm, his eyes brimming with tears and his lips forming into a huge pout. Mark took the blow without question, though the amusement and fondness were very much visible in his eyes.

“Baby! I’m sorry!”

Jinyoung was relentless with his attack. His tears had already flown freely on his face, and he was starting to hiccup as he kept hitting his lover on all the places he could reach.

“No! You don’t get to just be sorry, you idiot! You are going to make it up to me for the rest of your life! I keep aging prematurely because I‘m worrying so much about you!”

Mark chuckled fondly at his lover. He grabbed Jinyoung’s hands gently in order to calm him down. It was enough to make the younger stop his assault, but he was still glaring hard at the elder.

“Are laughing at me?”

Mark smiled cheekily, then pinched the younger’s cheeks with both of his hands.

“You’re so cute when you’re all mad, my little baby.”

Jinyoung slapped the elder’s hands away in protest. Mark chuckled again, pulling the younger to his arms in order to engulf him into a warm hug.

“Awww Jinyoungie, please don’t be mad. I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to talk to you this past month. Please know that I didn’t do it just to make you worry.”

The younger wanted to squirm and get away, but the moment that he felt Mark’s warmth again, he instantly reveled in it.

He snaked his arms around the elder, snuggling himself comfortably.

“You’re so stupid. Why didn’t you tell me you were going home today?”

Mark kissed the younger man in the temple, before proceeding to rock them both softly from side to side.

“I’m sorry, baby. Lots of things has happened. I was making sure that everything is finally over before I can come back to you at last.”

Jinyoung raised his head from where it laid on the elder’s shoulder.

“Over? What do you mean by that?”

Mark then flashed him genuine smile, the one where he bared his teeth and gums; the one that indicated that he was very happy.

“The reason why I went radio silence was because I was caught up with cutting some lose ends. It was a struggle to be honest, but it’s finished. I’m sorry if it took so long, Jinyoungie, but it finally ended. My life as a mafia leader is officially over.”

It was a long journey indeed. Mark had slowly let the majority of his mafia businesses go over the past years, and the only thing stopping him from cutting ties completely are the forefathers who were stubborn about dissolving the organization.

They were adamant on keeping the Tiger Lily alive that Mark had to resort to an ultimatum; either they live the rest for their lives in peace with the fortune that the elder will provide, or they perish alongside the organization.

It wasn’t an easy decision to drive them up to a wall, but it had to be done if Mark wanted to be completely relieved off his duty. Thankfully most of them chose to live, but the others were not so willing to let the organization die so easily. 

In the end, the conflict ended up into a full on war, which Mark had successfully won with the help of other organizations. 

Now, all that’s left of Tiger Lily is it’s name, as well as the memories that the former mafia leader will continue to carry within him. 

Hearing the elder’s declaration, Jinyoung hugged his lover again out of happiness. He had been waiting for Mark to say that for so long, and now that it was done, it was like a huge weight has been lifted off his chest.

Finally, they won’t be afraid to show themselves in public anymore.

Finally, they can go to whatever place they wished to visit without looking cautiously behind them.

Finally, they can love each other without any repercussions.

Finally, they are _free_.

Jinyoung burrowed his head unto Mark’s neck, his heart thrumming in happiness.

“I’m so, so proud of you.”

Mark kissed his forehead in response.

“This is all because of you, my love. You are the reason why I wanted to change for the better.”

Mark brushed the lose strands on Jinyoung’s face, silently admiring his lover’s beauty.

“Your love kept me going; it was your face that I kept seeing as I reached the light at the end of this dark path. I want to be good to you; to be a whole new man worthy of your love. Now that it‘s finally over, we can finally start our new life together.”

Mark let his arms fall to his sides in order to let Jinyoung go. The younger was confused for a moment, but that confusion quickly morphed into shock, as the elder suddenly went down on one knee and presented him a ring.

“....know that everything I do, I do to keep you safe. Now that it’s finally over, you will have my entire attention. I won’t go anywhere that you cannot follow anymore. I won’t go silent for days and weeks, making you stay awake at night thinking whether I’m still alive or not. You have nothing to fear and worry anymore, because I won’t be going anywhere. You have my heart and soul in your hands, and if you let me, I’m going to show you how much that means to me by loving you for the rest of my life. Will you give this broken man a chance and marry me, Park Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung honestly didn’t hear half of what Mark was saying. He kept crying at the entire duration of Mark’s speech, and as soon as the elder popped the question, he lunged forward, tackling him into an emotional hug.

“ _OHMYGOD! YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!_ ”

The couple laughed heartily as they both laid on the ground in each other’s embrace, tears flowing freely in both of their faces.

Mark quickly removed the ring out of the box, and with shaky hands, he slid the diamond studded ring on to the younger’s finger. Jinyoung sobbed even harder seeing the ring wrap perfectly around his finger, like it was always meant to be placed there.

“Is the fit okay? I can only gauge your finger whenever you fall asleep, so I wasn’t sure if it was the right size...”

Jinyoung tore his gaze away from his engagement ring and smiled adorably. He then kissed the elder’s cheek multiple times to show his appreciation.

“It fits perfectly, love. Thank you for this.”

The duo remained laying on the ground without a care in the world, arms holding tight to one another as they basked themselves in the emotional moment.

“You know, I was planning on proposing to you when you come back from your trip.”

Mark chuckled lightly at that.

“Yeah, I know.”

Jinyoung suddenly raised from his position, his eyes full of question and surprise.

“What? How?”

The elder smirked in response.

“Jackson and Yugyeom told me. We’ve been planning for the proposal months before I left, so imagine their shock when you told them that you wanted to propose to me.”

Jinyoung was speechless, but it finally made sense as to why the two looked thoroughly surprised when he gave them the idea of proposing.

“You’ve been planning for this for a while now?”

Mark nodded.

“Yes. I wanted to propose on a place much more beautiful than this, but unfortunately, my little kitten is impatient. I was scheduled to arrive 3 days from now to set everything up, but I had to go home right away as soon as Jacks and Yugs informed me about your plan. It’s a good thing your family decided to agree to this when I asked them this morning, because if they didn’t, then it wouldn’t be a very memorable proposal at all.”

Jinyoung immediately felt guilty upon hearing that, but he couldn’t deny that he felt touched by Mark’s thoughtfulness of inviting his family into an important moment in their lives. 

“So that’s why they weren’t telling me anything. I was so scared that something bad happened when I saw them here, you know.”

Mark kissed his lover’s forehead affectionately.

“Didn’t I tell you that you and your family is safe here with me? No one would ever touch you as long as I’m next to you. Not now, not ever.”

Their conversation was cut short by the sounds of barking, and the couple directed their attention towards milo, who was dashing clumsily towards their direction.

Bambam was hot on the pup’s trails, looking distressed that he couldn’t catch up to the dog’s speed.

“Milo!”

Mark sat up from the ground and quickly scooped the pup in his arms. 

“You’ve grown so big, buddy! Did you miss me?”

Milo barked loudly and licked the elder’s face in response, letting his owner know how much he had missed him.

Bambam finally reached where they were, the former bodyguard (now an aspiring film director) looking so out of breath from too much running.

“Hyungs.... I give up. I can’t control your child.”

The rest of their family started approaching, and the couple stood up from where they were positioned in order to dust themselves off from the dirt. 

“Congratulations on your engagement, hyungs!”

Yugyeom cheered loudly as he got closer to the couple. Mark ruffled his little brother’s hair fondly, silently thanking the younger with his hard work.

Jaebeom and Jackson congratulated the two as well, their apparent closeness went unnoticed to the elder.

When Mark gave Jinyoung a questioning stare, the younger only responded with a knowing smile. 

The author directed his attention towards his family, who was obviously trying hard not to let their tears fall.

“My baby boy... you’re all grown up and getting married.” 

His mother sniffed emotionally. Jinyoung chuckled at that, he then reached forward and gave her a warm hug, then proceeded to do the same to his father and sisters.

When they broke away from the hug, Jinyoung motioned for Mark to come closer, and the elder bowed in respect to all of them.

“Thank you for giving your blessings and entrusting me with your son, Mr. and Mrs. Park.”

Jinyoung’s mother waved his hand at that.

“Mark, you don’t have to be so formal with us. We’re going to be a family now, so please, feel free to call us Mom and Dad.”

Mark suddenly felt warmth envelop his chest. It had been a long time since he last called someone that, so the warm welcome is touching his heart beautifully. 

“Okay. Thank you, Mom... Dad... Noonas.”

Jinyoung’s sisters squealed in happiness, and the younger’s parents didn’t hesitate to give Mark a huge hug in response.

Soon after, fireworks started exploding in the air, and everyone turned their attention towards the pretty colors that were decorating the sky.

Jinyoung wrapped his arm into Mark’s waist, his focus completely on the man in front of him.

“Thank you for wanting to spend the rest of your life with me.”

Mark smiled as he stared back at the younger, who’s eyes reflected the lights that was illuminating the dark night.

“No, Jinyoung. I should be the one thanking you. Thank you, for letting me spend a meaningful life with you.”

Mark then moved forward, nuzzling both of their noses together.

“This is a fresh new start for the both of us, and I’m excited to figure it all out with you.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes and smiled lovingly.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure we’re going to be fine. As long as you’re with me, I can take on anything.“

The elder brought his lips close to the younger’s, their breaths mingled with each other.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

The couple slowly leaned in and closed the small distance, the kiss a seal of promise for a beautiful future with each other.

For the years to come, they would realize that not everything is going to be easy. They are going to face obstacles that they had never experienced before, and their relationship and trust would be tested each and every time.

However, in those challenges they would come out stronger, their love and faith to each other an unbreakable bond that no one could ever destroy. 

Mark and Jinyoung would grow to live a life full of wonder and adventure, surpassing every trials that the world had to offer. 

  
The journey may be long and arduous, but they’re going to go through it all,

  
and they’re going to do it together. 

————————- 끝 ————————-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT’S FINALLY DONE!! \\(//∇//)\
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos for this story, though I am well aware that it is lacking in some parts. Hearing feedbacks really makes me motivated, so I appreciate each and every one of you! (=´∀｀)
> 
> I have ideas on what my next story would be, and I actually have an ongoing one on twitter rn. However, I’m not sure when I’ll make them or continue writing, since there’s a lot going on behind the scenes right now. Rest assured that this is only the beginning!
> 
> For now, thank you for all the support! Till the next one! ( ◠‿◠ )

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This fic is originally made solely for twitter, but some of the readers told me that they would love to see this on either ao3 or aff, so here we are. :))
> 
> My twitter @ is gotexofic in case anyone wants to say hi :)


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